Your “Stayin’ Alive, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Stayin’ Alive” Monday Night Football Open Thread

Week 15 Fallout:

These are the teams that were officially sent to a farm upstate. They are the Bills, Jets, Broncos, Bengals, Giants, Packers, Lions, Bucs and Falcons. No need to worry about them though, at this particular farm the refs have a very firm grasp on the ‘catch’ rule and have explained it to every player and coach. In addition, every game is a home game. No travelling! And meeting all the teams at the farm gate? Why, the one and only Colin Kaepernik! I’m sure the bidding war for his services will be quite the spectacle!

In other news-Gore Gone. For the rest of the year. Don’t even let the idea of his career being over escape your lips. I sure as heck am not going to commit to writing him off like I did last year and the year before that. Just a thought-a very smart organization would hire him as a player-coach next year. Should this occur I know for sure that he won’t be mentoring [spins the wheel] “Joe Mixon”.

Derrick Henry remains the biggest bastard man ever. Like, ever.

Eli is worse than you think he is. Also worse? The Giants other options at the QB spot.

Kenny Golladay went for 146 yards on 7 receptions. Yeah, he traversed nearly a football field and a half in a game where the winner scored 14 points and it wasn’t the Lions. smgdh.

I’ve called this a ‘passing league’. You’ve called this a ‘passing league’. I’ll just mention the rb’s that ran for a 100 yards or more this week. Here goes-Somebody Samuels, Kit Carson, “Gus” Edwards, Bastard Man Henry, Dalvinci Cook, Merlin Mack, “Tricky Dick” Mixon, Television Coleman, Nickolai Chubbovsky and Kato Ballage. I’m sure that there were more total tight ends and wr’s that ended up over that arbitrary number but you get my point, right? [wonders what his point was]

TO THE GAME!

Saints/Panthers:

Oh boy, I’ve waited all week to talk about this game! I don’t even know where to start! [presses listening device to ear] What’s that? The intro is over the 250 word minimum? Okay, then. See Ya!

“If you take out the ‘e’ away from Gore Gone, you’ll get something else entirely.”

-Perseus

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King Hippo

Just yelled to who Dat guy: “I hope the Rams don’t use lube!’

King Hippo

/also Who Dat now, motherfucker??

Mr. Ayo

Touchback? lol

theeWeeBabySeamus

Facebook is interesting….

It is suggesting I become fb friends with one ex-girlfriend’s father, whom I actually did get along with very well but that’s been like 35 years ago….

And also with another ex-girlfriend’s daughter, whom I’ve never actually met but is quite attractive and could probably get me shot. Ooooof.

King Hippo

An ILLUSION Michael. A trick is what a whore does for money. Or cocaine?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

Ratio of white ppl to McCaffrey jerseys: YES

WCS

“Such a better role-model than that ungrateful Cam Newton thug.” — Colin Cowherd

theeWeeBabySeamus

Interesting observation.
Out Xmas shopping today, I held the door at Columbia Sportswear for a white girl wearing a McCaffrey Jersey.

Mr. Ayo

Did you get her number?

theeWeeBabySeamus

22

ballsofsteelandfury

What are the other 5 digits?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

She likes them in the butt.

King Hippo

So you noe she’s motion in teh ocean!

Mr. Ayo

What a hero.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

I want this to be a thing in the movie.

Unsurprised

There is a thing in the movie about how we dump all our garbage into the ocean.

King Hippo

Best things re having your kid be 20:

1) you can kick them out the house without the County being all up in you shit

2) you can make them drive home from MNF because you rittre dlunk

herodotus450

3) Old enough to betroth to the wealthy widower merchant the next town over. ++Dowry.

Brocky

You forgot #3: you can guilt trip into almost anything because you know they won’t say no.

grumble grumble gets dad’s dry cleaning

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Canada…..

Col. Duke LaCross

My god.

King Hippo

Guys I don’t think teh Panthers is very good.

Mr. Ayo

These Panthers, I call them an engine because they don’t work very good with a broken Cam

King Hippo

He’s like a REALLY sunburnt Chad Pennington out thar

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Agreed; his shoulder is a lot more fucked up than they are letting on.

King Hippo

I bet he ain’t out there weeks 16 and 17

King Hippo

aint

Mr. Ayo

Uh oh, Someone reboot the Hippo app. It’s broken.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

She found them.

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nomonkeyfun

I am out of the game. Fuck bars that play Christmas music.
Bars are places for misanthropy, not “the Christmas Spirit.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, aren’t you a buzzkill……. and I absolutely agree.

Senor Weaselo

Unless you can drink the Christmas spirit, of course.

Col. Duke LaCross

Literally the only interesting thing that has happened so far.

King Hippo

There have been TWO sightings of my Equine ppls

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

Pick Two is a miracle, right?

King Hippo

At least worth of teh Virgin Mary fingering herself imo

Mr. Ayo

Pretty sure I heard she can fit more than two.

...

PICK TWO, BABY

The Maestro

Hilarious and amazing.

Mr. Ayo

What a game. lol

Gratliff

A THING A THING THEY DONE A THING

yeah right

Thirty second movie review:

The Mule was a surprisingly light hearted pseudo crime drama. Won’t win any awards but it was very watchable and featured topless cartel hookers! Clint Eastwood is old as fuck and this feels like a siren song but then again so did Gran Torino.

8/10 Feel free to see it at the theater but it’s fine for small screen viewing.

rockingdog

found a funny:
teacher: your son doesn’t think that 6 is a number

me: oh lol totally forgot we told him that

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I almost felt bad being the 7th person to like that

WCS

Sweet Jeebus, no one wants to win this game. I blame Hippo being on set.

King Hippo

It is some proper monkeyfuckery. I’ve been mostly in the beer line.

nomonkeyfun

How is this my fault?

King Hippo

U noe wut u done.

Mr. Ayo

lol Panthers

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

All right, this stream is just too damned shitty for me. I’m out. What should I watch?

The Maestro

Porno.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I mostly work from home, so I’m kind of all porno-ed out for today.

Brocky

A dirty movie where a cougar seduces a college girl.

Gloves preferred

rockingdog

Elf the movie!

yeah right

Watch Roma on Netflix.

Seriously. Plus it will help with your conversational self taught Spanish.

Honestly the movie is incredible.

Brocky

I once heard a proposal that the first 3 weeks should be all division games, same with the last 3, and alln divison teams should have the same bye week.

And for the record, NO they didn’t suggest playing in Wichita

The Maestro

I… don’t actually hate this idea.

Mr. Ayo

Agreed. This is great idea if they want to promote divisions.

Brocky

The argument against it is that theres less chance of interesting games midseason.

They need October prime timennatchups.

Only 17 prime time matchups were divison games this year

Senor Weaselo

And that’s why it won’t happen!

rockingdog

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litre_cola

The Saints offense is bad and look completely out of sync.

Mr. Ayo

Bad week to be 11-2

King Hippo

I think Donks WOO! Could beat the Black Panthers. And I don’t say that lightly.

Gratliff

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King Hippo

Ran over his neighbours? More like his own wee-wee.

King Hippo

Beer can say “biscuitty malt sweetness with subtle notes of strawberry and honeydew melon”

DFO…behold your TRUE ALPHA

Gratliff

This is cute and all but YOU ARE STILL LOSING YOU CAJUN FUCKSTICKS SCORE TWO POINTS ALREADY

litre_cola

I AM YELLING BECAUSE HE IS YELLING BUT I TOTALLY AGREE WITH HIM!!!

WCS

James Harrison’s gonna get fined for that.

King Hippo

Ah may have just shouted You Suck Brees! Like a plebian.

Brocky

Alexa bliss

Mr. Ayo

NAWT A CATCH! Don’t waste that challenge!

King Hippo

Even Lovie Smith be all liek NAW

rockingdog

So who is playing half-time for the superbowl this year?

WCS

Michael Jackson, Prince, and Tom Petty

Viva La Tabula Raza

“This year’s SB Halftime show brought to you by the Pharmaceutical Industry!”

King Hippo

FACK you opiates is FUN and harmless

Viva La Tabula Raza

The hydrocodone I am taking for post-surgical pain couldn’t agree more…

WCS

Gentlemen, gentlemen, you’re both right!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Maroon 5. Except nobody wants to share the stage with them, so maybe they should call themselves “Marooned 5” instead.

Mr. Ayo

I can’t believe CFB got the jump on Imagine Dragons. Of course, the NFL will probably get them 20 years from now.

Gratliff

I feel like they played every NHL playoff game. Very impressive work ethic.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[imagines dragons]

[hides under the covers]

– Eli Manning

Brocky

Sucks that we just got a new banner comment cuz that deserves it rikki

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Aw, thanks. I am patting myself harder on the back for the “daughtry” one, though.

Gratliff

They thought about asking The Who, but didn’t have enough time to notify residents.

King Hippo

Beer selection #2 (they was out of Crispin) is Sycamore “Southern Girl” Blonde Ale.

I got a Plan B pill as a bonus keepsake.

litre_cola

You worried you are pregnant?

litre_cola
King Hippo

Ah mean, mah ass DO hurt

King Hippo

Every obnoxiously Crunk Saints fan is chugging Miller Lite. Yes, there was Who Dey/Dat, I couldn’t tell.

Also Nelly sucks whale penis.

Gratliff

Jesus, fuck, Daughtry? Really?

litre_cola

I turned it off for halftime. Is that the hip new artist they are bringing out tonight?

Gratliff

“Everyone liked Garbage, who should we book next?”
“Stick with garbage.”
“On it!”

WCS

Hip and new straight out of 2003!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Fun fact: “daughtry” is how President Shit-for-brains describes his ideal mate.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Man, people named “Eli” and interceptions just go hand in hand, don’t they?

LemonJello

“Holding hands? EeEeeWWWwwwww.Girls are gross!”
-E. Manning

WCS

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LemonJello

Would “pants-shittingly bad” be an apt description of this half?

Brick Meathook

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WCS

Mike Tomlin and Andy Reid love Ron’s clock-management here.

hippofant

Wonder if Cam was supposed to go no-huddle there, but was too busy….

Gratliff

the actual fuck with these sides

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

– Andy Reid, glaring at bowls of broccoli and spinach

Gratliff

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litre_cola

God dammit don’t make me like you Jason Witten!

Gratliff

Perhaps, aim for a little less high

litre_cola

His tailor should be shot for his ill fitting suits, but the man of the year thing gets my respect.

Gratliff

According to Twitter, the largest, adultest of sons are going to be on RAW. comment image

Gratliff

The neck on this lad, g’blesscomment image

WCS

Alex Jones hasn’t taken being booted from social media very well…

Gratliff

When the fluoride in the water hitscomment image

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Just home from work. Have more work to do. At least there will be a well played football game to entertain me, right?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

It took me a minute…and then I laughed my ass off.