I fell asleep watching the West By God Virginia self-cousin-fucking last night. No worries, I caught Wazzu (who I mostly bet ML at -140, thankfully) eking it out from 3-5am compressed. Yeah, that’s an old trick from when my oldest was an insomniac baby.
Today’s fun:
Florida (+5.5) v. Meeechigan, No Homoes Chikin Bowl (Atlanta, GA – Noon, ESPN)
Yes, they put Peach back in the official title, but I mock them anyway. I trust the Gators to be even shittier than the Wolverine backups, but don’t have any bets on it.
Virginia (+4.5) v. South Carolina, Dying Redneck Town Department Store Bowl (Charlotte, NC – Noon, ABC)
My system says to fade both the ACC Coastal (except Duke) and SEC Paaawwwwwlll East, so I am at a loss. But Wahoowa has been pretty good as an underdog this year. May throw a $50 down.
Arkansas State (+2) v. Nevada, Martin Luther Tha’ King Bowl (Tucson, AZ – 1:15, CBSSN)
Because AZ legislators would want it that way, obvs. This is notable only for the Lesser Wolf Pack aspect (and yeah, they spell it as two words, weirdos). Don’t watch this.
Notre Dame (+13) v. Clemson, Raging Semi #1 (Arlington, TX – 4:00, ESPN)
Now, the real fun starts! I am more than a little surprised at the heavy spread, given that SO MUCH of the Tiggers’ dominance can be attributed to their fearsome DL, how missing its best player. Hmmmmmm. Still, I hate both these sides mercilessly and equally. Get fucked, dickasses.
Oklahoma (+14) v. Alabama, Raging Semi #2 (Miami, FL – 8:00, ESPN)
This also seems kind of high, though betting against Roll Damn Tide is a fool’s errand. Still, UGA showed some exploitable weakness…so an upset can’t be ruled out.
FIRST DOWN! LORD, ITS A MIRACLE!!!!
https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js
Boomer Sooner, 3 possessions, 0 yards. Good thing their “high octane” offense was gonna put Bama to the test.
At what point does Alabama start resting their backups and puts in the cheerleaders and the elephant?
Looks like Tua will get another 4th quarter off.
Bama Defense should hold Murray for ransom to get back Tua’s stolen Heisman.
Jesus Christ this game still has 3 and a half hours of left to broadcast.
At this pace, we could see Alabama up by triple digits.
Oklahoma AD checking with rule book to see if they’re allowed to play Tulsa for the 2nd Half.
Obviously this is a disaster. They need to make the games more competitive.
Adding more teams into the playoffs is not going to work.
So my solution is as follows…
1) Alabama gets the Championship by default.
2) A four team playoff for the 2nd place. 3 teams are from the SEC, the fourth team is the best undefeated team that plays in the bullshit conferences.
16 teams would at least spread out the manure. I wonder how often the final 4 would be all-SEC West plus UGA?
8 teams and winner gets bama.
if you wanted to make it equitable, the “1” could be like heavyweight boxing, from season to season.
/it would still always be Bama, but things would be more amusing
Ah, the rarely used Karate Kid Part III tournament bracket.
Alabama/SEC giving out special patches just for the players who graduate? The mold growing in my walls could probably graduate from Alabama.
What say yeeeewwww? – Herodotus’ mold
[looks at “Browns” brand mold remover]
Dammit, that’s why I can’t beat this mold.
I don’t know. I graduated from a Big 10 school and my paycheck shows how I’m “benefiting” from that.
Murray couldnt handoff that football any faster. PUSSY
Kyler Murray is getting confused again. He’s putting up a baseball score in a football game.
Just turned the game on and Bama is covering already. Seems appropriate for this timeline.
Hail Satan?
How is that not a forward pass?
Kyler Murray is going to shit himself before halftime. GOOD.
This game should confirm his decision to play baseball.
yeah, I don’t think he’s getting any extra leverage against the As
Talk about clueless – Herbstreit keeps saying it went to the 18.5 (which WOULD be lateral) and it’s on the 21.
Jim ross is rolling over in his grave.
Don’t worry he’ll be dead by halftime
ACC Zebras are fucking blind
These refs are morans.
welcome to my ACC reality
/remember, the “giving him the business” ref was ACC
I’m used to Pac12 refs. Didn’t realize the bar was so low elsewhere.
the closest thing to decent are SEC, methinks. I haven’t noticed B1G’s being especially bad, either.
NOT GUILTY!
https://www.cleveland.com/buckeyeblog/index.ssf/2008/08/ohio_state_football_big_ten_en.html
1st down = ded puppy
You don’t want 2 noe wha happen if OU crosses midfield…
Makes me wonder – that Fromm dude at UGA actually a legit QB after all?
Wait, Captain Marvel is a chick? They weren’t even allowed to be assigned to combatant ships when I was in the fleet.
Isn’t there already a Ms. Marvel?
The Hellspawn’s scoring is fun and all but I enjoy watching them tear apart the other teams offense.
Don’t worry, Nick will quit throwing the ball so he can play defense MOAR after the first quarter and a half.
Hail Satan?
Hail Seitan indeed
That’s right; take it out on the leftovers.
Hail Satan!
Satan’s team is easily the least objectionable entrant in this here mini-tourney
Kyler Murray is such a scumbag, Texas A&M kicked him out. Texas A&M. The same Texas A&M that put up with Manziel
Wow. It almost looks like Oklahoma’s defense is horribly overmatched and the CFB Selection Committee made a horrible, horrible mistake.
ND was just as overmatched, and we saw how good Purdue and Michigan were already this week…
Georgia should’ve made it in obviously. Ohio State and Central Florida as the fourth team, leaning towards UCF.
I think we can all safely blame Jerry Jones’ turf for injuring Nick Bosa week 3 and causing all of these matchups.
I think everybody gets ass-blasted other than UGA. Bet tOSU does whip some arse in their bowl, though. Try to make next year’s case early.
I said after the SEC title match that UGA was almost surely the 2nd best side in the nation, and I have seen nothing to disabuse me of that notion.
3rd is Bama’s scout team
24/7 physical therapy, 10 days’ straight
student athletes, folks!
Ballroom Dancing 101 was his blow off class.
He got hurt making huge money for the school, so have at it.
oh, I don’t begrudge him a damned thing. Just pay these guys and let them audit whatever class they want. They are majoring in footy. Quit playing up the charade.
RIP all over bets
Satan demanded a “family” sacrifice
Time to just start taking knees?
just keep total points under 80.5, and Bob Crane can jack it to another snuff film
You’re not playing Kansas motherfuckers!
That works!
Bike Bike Bike
“We are the show” – ACC Zerbas
awwwww, you noticed!
You can spell Oklahoma without a D. ppl forget that.
/lesbians move en masse to Oklahoma
Hey Paul, ah reckon Bama would win the AFC South ,, what say yeeeewwwww?
Get’em Tua!
Reasons to hate Oklahoma :
Stole the Seattle Supersonics
Gave us Jim Inhofe
Gave us Scott Pruitt
The movie “Stone Cold”
Trail of Tears
In all honesty, Oklahoma seems like the worst place in the United States to me.
It’s a failed State.
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/aug/29/oklahoma-education-system-four-day-school-weeks-poor
Hold our beer! – Mississippi
WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW, IDOLATROUS CATHOLICS OF INDIANA???
—Mike Pence,
“Also, drop me off at the nearest highway rest stop.”
Hail Satan!
The Land Thieves are vile.
DABO DABO DABO DABO DABO DABO
Pretty much every time I remembered that I had this game on, I said that aloud.
Clemson/ND is so brutal the NCAA is going to deny any knowledge of the incident having occurred.
That game is a low level broadcast that filled in for some scheduled programming once years ago.
Dad?
King Hippo has really let himself go.
He totally is in to inappropriate touching.