I hate the Cowboys. I have for quite some time. Let’s go back to the days before home computers, cell phones and social media. The written word was just beginning to take hold despite what the naysayers were nay saying. A rock applied to the head with varying degrees of force was a good enough means of communication for my grandfather and it’s good enough for me-whatever my name is! Then, as now, oldish white guys decided what was going to be placed before your eyebulbs and as far as football was concerned, they didn’t think they could do any better than the Dallas Cowboys. Little boy me didn’t know what ‘market over-saturation’ was then and still don’t now.
You couldn’t escape. Prime time TV, Sports Illustrated, Sport magazine, Inside Sport magazine-they extolled the countless virtues of a Roger Staubach, a Tom Landry, a Tony Dorsett (until he got a wee bit uppity) or a [insert white player’s name here]. I was able to free myself from the shackles of this form of mind manipulation for the most part. (I sometimes get half a chub when footage of Golden Richards is shown)
I therefore understand the hate/contempt that some have shown for the Seahawks though I don’t partake. To me, Coach Carroll is just another silly millionaire-type coach-guy that lives in a wee bubble of his own making so, whatever. He can loudly chew gum, strut the sidelines and conduct tours of Tower 6 all he likes.
Oh right-the game
Seattle/Dallas:
Gimme Kit Carson and Co. and a late field goal. No more talk of Dallas.
Conduct yourselves accordingly. To what? No idea.
Bump, set, drop?
Is the joke still “touchdown seahawks” or has “Cowboys maintain possession” officially taken its place?
If I was watching live classes on an exercise device I would be amazingly motivated to eat a slice of pizza, drink some booze and mock.
Peloton: We glued a TV to a treadmill. Give us $$$$$$.
But I feel like such a plebian with my exercise bike and bedroom TV unattached!!
Jaylon Smith is a two legged BEAST
The space needle is in Seattle.
JUST WIN THE FIRST HALF, YOU NON-GENDERED FUCKHOLES
That’s a SMRT bet. The HOX biggest weapon this half is their All Pro punter.
I can root for a Notarealbird safety
yep, Hippo will allow. 3-2 would be mighty fun. Or better, 5-4!
KILL Wilson!
Did you know they throw fish at Pike’s Market?
“Don’t Let’s be Beasley to the Germans.”
-Cole’s agent after seeing his injury and not yet aware that NFL Europe folded years ago
There’s gotta be at least one club owner in Europe who isn’t aware that American Football is not Soccer
tony romo should be awarded a medal for that wild card loss to seattle
he forced asshole parcells into retirement
Do you really need to show the Romo FG hold. FUCK YOU FOX!
Ohhh yeahh, that is the good stuff.
Got a new BlackBerry over the holidays, it’s kickass 😀
Hippo is crying tears of joy right now.
I also immediately thought of Hippo.
Also tears of terror because of the six foot pink dragonfly speaking Danish to him.
ah keep a-tellin’ it ah ain’t speak no Danish!
ONE OF US! ONE OF US!!!
BLACKBERRY4EVER
Usually takes a whole bowl of em to kick my ass
I thought my 60-year-old father was the last person on earth still using a BlackBerry. I am shocked.
BOO THIS MAN!!!!
You know what this game needs? Terry Glenn.
She’s busy.
My idiot cousin got a Drew Henson Jersey. Yes, he’s a Trump supporter.
I like the “it’s ironic because he sucked even though he was so hyped” but since he’s a Trump supporter he probably doesn’t do irony.
Crappy 3rd down play.
“Throw to Cooper…lookin for blocks…”
Eli Manning knows the feeling.
Jeff Sessions was excited to watch the show, but it wasn’t what he’d hoped.
i see Beasley is ready to die tonight.
LOL, confused receiver
I would always take a Honda over a Chevy .
Well yeah, unless you wanna lose at Street Fighter II.
FUCKING GLORIOUS
lower total cost of ownership
The only time I’ve been unable to get up with an ankle injury was after tripping on a cat, and the cat was sitting on my bed like she knew she wasn’t supposed to and was staring at me, and I assume, doing the cat equivalent of laughing
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wDbmgt6PrVo
Is that a takedown or a reversal?
Crap Beasley already hurt
Rattail ded?
Just like Obama was trying to explain, Cole is dead.
Damn shame that Barkevious Mingo never got to line up opposite D’Brickashaw Ferguson.
“Barkevious, D’Brickashaw…D’Brickashaw, Barkevious”
– David Letterman
Still wish Ha-Ha Clinton-Dix didn’t play in the secondary so we could get more direct man-to-man funny name matchups.
Dallas with 14 men on the line of scrimmage there, idn’t that a penalty?
How do you not have Romo calling this game…and all the other games?!?!
Why not the trifecta of Aikmen, Witten, Romo calling this game?
He said night club, not strip club.
YAAAASSSSSSS
Do NAWT STAWP
They look like the Jesus Twins.
GAH
“More than words could make you feel, that my love for you is real…”
These are great. MOAR
That Troy’s look is roofie chic.
Intro by the XX. Good Shit
I assume that means you started your drinking with Dos Equis.
“Ooh, Dos Equus sounds HOT.”
– Catherine the Great
Aikman played pro ball for over a decade and took shots from the likes of Reggie White, yet Joe Buck is the one whose skull looks damaged.
His dad was an artist with a belt buckle, I’ll bet.
I’d rather listen to real retarded folk than these two
Nah, CPAC is boring.
You know that sometime in the near future you’ll be able to hear an internet simulcast of football games that is exactly that.
I mean, it’s not quite sex robots, but this vision of the future pleases me
I’m stealing this.
tomorrow’s roundtable header??
I’m using it for a post midweek.
That really is the most annoying sound in the world!
It’s a little late but
https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js
HOW DID I NEVER SEE THIS BEFORE
Also…
“Stay away if you know what’s good fer ya.”
– Rex Ryan
What the fuck is up, you debaucherous miscreants??!
I apologize for any profanity laced post from this point forward.
Why the fuck would you do that cunty shit?
Let’s go not-Cowboys!
My sister (a bandwagon Seahawks fan) flew out there with her son (a bandwagon Cowboys fan because his asshole father jumped on the bandwagon in the 90s), and they are sitting in the lower section on about the 40 yard line. I kinda sorta hope neither team wins, but I hope the Cowboys don’t win a little more.
and with this, killing her would not be murder, but an act of counter-terrorism
https://twitter.com/jaredlholt/status/1081716992913100800
Jared Holt!
She hasn’t heard of the Gay Communist Gun Club?
She’s as smart as she is stylish.
Christ, Curt Menefee looks like he swallowed an entire long horn steer.
It’s like a reverse New Year resolution.
Let’s get PUMPED UP!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9tjdswqGGVg
https://youtu.be/T6k8OttXOqk
wow, this (muted) Fox panel really buys into the Clippers and Iggles Narrative
slight ot: sorry maestro (or…thanks!)
https://twitter.com/AJHaefele/status/1081716078600871936
Who the fuck says Dallas has the best front seven in football?
somebody who hasn’t seen Chi**** this season?
People who think you’re talking owner’s teeth.
More Total Rushing Yards:
Zeke
or
Carson City
WHO YA GOT?!
Thinking Zeke hits 2 bills tonight, or comes damned close
Zeke
Zeke
I got Carson, ya bastids!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=33&v=OXjIIB7wM_I
The ABC-TV affiliate in Los Angeles just had the greatest commercial for a hot tub expo I’ve ever seen.
HOT TUB! HOT TUB! HOT TUB! FAIRPLEX IN POMONA! HOT TUB! HOT TUB!
The weekend anchorgirl’s name is Veronica Miracle. There’s a big storm coming in (with the snow line dropping to 5000′) so star weatherman Dallas Raines was on duty. Every Los Angeles TV news person looks like a soap opera actor.
Dallas Raines is awesome in that he’s a caricature. The name! The tan! The gestures!
He looks like he died 15 years ago and is propped up with a stick.
Undead Dallas Raines is a pretty good name for a new commentist.
Zeke looks a week younger.
Just found out Durgin-Park in Boston is closing it’s doors after 192 years. So tomorrow I’ll be getting one of these for lunch.
Gross, what twisted sociopath eats peas?
Cowboy Haters are you ready?
Let’s get it ON!
Russel WIlson after the game:
My Dallas hatred has been simmering for over 45 years. Motherfucker, Drew Pearson pushed off!
I still make fun of Quincy Carter’s stupid tongue and I think he works in a Verizon store or some shit now.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bkcogvkk9Vw
hey man, Watford ain’t playin’ until tomorrow
I’ve been to Watford. I had a lovely afternoon in Watford. It’s a beautiful little town. It’s now my EPL team. You, sir, had better not be denigrating Watford.