Your “Game Sponsored by Hatey McHaterson” Saturday Night NFL Football Open Thread

I hate the Cowboys. I have for quite some time. Let’s go back to the days before home computers, cell phones and social media. The written word was just beginning to take hold despite what the naysayers were nay saying. A rock applied to the head with varying degrees of force was a good enough means of communication for my grandfather and it’s good enough for me-whatever my name is! Then, as now, oldish white guys decided what was going to be placed before your eyebulbs and as far as football was concerned, they didn’t think they could do any better than the Dallas Cowboys. Little boy me didn’t know what ‘market over-saturation’ was then and still don’t now.

You couldn’t escape. Prime time TV, Sports Illustrated, Sport magazine, Inside Sport magazine-they extolled the countless virtues of a Roger Staubach, a Tom Landry, a Tony Dorsett (until he got a wee bit uppity) or a [insert white player’s name here]. I was able to free myself from the shackles of this form of mind manipulation for the most part. (I sometimes get half a chub when footage of Golden Richards is shown)

I therefore understand the hate/contempt that some have shown for the Seahawks though I don’t partake. To me, Coach Carroll is just another silly millionaire-type coach-guy that lives in a wee bubble of his own making so, whatever. He can loudly chew gum, strut the sidelines and conduct tours of Tower 6 all he likes.

Oh right-the game

Seattle/Dallas:

Gimme Kit Carson and Co. and a late field goal. No more talk of Dallas.

Conduct yourselves accordingly. To what? No idea.

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
1.1K Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
herodotus450

Seebass vs. Cooper: which ex-Raider you got?

Spur

Downing Hot-dogs or Beers?

King Hippo

ok, 10-6 at the half is fine. You fuckers.

Petronel

And there you go.

Fronkenshteen

SO! NYHEIM HINES! THE FUCK?

fleshwound_NPG

charles haley with goodell, what could possibly go wrong

WCS

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Horatio Cornblower

I would not be comfortable sitting next to Charles Haley if he had one hand free.

ballsofsteelandfury

Roger, let me show you my DICK!

Doktor Zymm

comment image

King Hippo

Gingerballs Hammer just waiting for Haley to pull it out.

Sharkbait

Rog and Hailey bromance?

fleshwound_NPG

kickkake!

comment image

Gatoraids

Footloose the official theme song of the game.

ballsofsteelandfury

– A. Hurns

WCS

Wow.

Horatio Cornblower

That was a ridiculous catch.

Horatio Cornblower

That said, Awuzie could have maybe jumped at it.

herodotus450

Awoooooooooziecomment image

King Hippo

and awful CB play

rockingdog

that was dope

Doktor Zymm

Lockett up

Mr. Ayo

LOCKETT!!!!

Spur

Awuzie stopped on the play. Dumbass.

Spur

At the Defense is getting pressure on Wilson

Gratliff

Timely

Spur

Those hits are going to add up.

Gratliff

— Josh Gordon’s Agent

litre_cola

Seattle is home to a pinball museum because of course it is.

Doktor Zymm

Wow, I almost forgot about goatse

herodotus450

“It wouldn’t be a Lemon party without Old Dick!”

Gatoraids

comment image

Doktor Zymm

SOMEONE SET US UP THE BOMB

The Maestro

I should’ve bet the under on this game. Damn, that would’ve been easy money.

Spur

At least the Spurs are winning tonight comment image

litre_cola

The Kingdome was modeled after other domes, it was just as shitty at the metrodome, or the Big O for that matter.

Horatio Cornblower

I really can’t blame a kicker for missing a 58-yarder.

Unless it’s Blair Walsh.

herodotus450

‘Member when the ‘boys had the most accurate placekicker of all time?

fleshwound_NPG

3-3

barnburner!

Sharkbait

Nailed it!

Blair Walsh

King Hippo

Damn you for that false GAMBLOR hope

Horatio Cornblower

I liked the Cowboys O-line a lot better when they weren’t a bag of dicks.

Spur

Dirty move my #55 to twist Zeke ankle.

Mr. Ayo

He’s not exactly been a role model.

Gratliff

Are they in a relationship? No infraction.

litre_cola

The Seattle Sounders atmosphere is as close to Europe as you will get.

King Hippo

goddamn it, ham-head

Doktor Zymm

Can I get a Raiders Disapora T-Shirt so I can still like Amari Cooper without liking the Cowboys?

Senor Weaselo

That will become the largest diaspora in California! Sorry, Armenians.
/What is “Things the Turkish Prime Minister will never say?”

herodotus450

Frankly I’m on Le’veon and Antonio Brown’s sides; Pittsburgh has too many hills. It’s suspicious. What are they doing with all those hills?

Doktor Zymm

They’re like walls made of Earth, how did they get those hills without stealing border funding?

herodotus450

That explains a lot about the demographic of Pittsburgh ackshually

WCS

comment image

Spur

But Griffin has a brother with one hand, that cant be a flag.

litre_cola

Try the Triangle bar before a Seahawks game. Tiny and seedy but perfect.

Spur

you missed a post below. Get your ass down there.

litre_cola

Sorry, am high.

King Hippo

They ever call his brother for an “illegal use of stump” BLEERGH?

Spur

i want to see him use a bionic hand

King Hippo

a lobster claw might be fair

Gratliff

“Too soon” – Hurns’ severed foot

herodotus450

-Stormy D.

ballsofsteelandfury

No wonder Antonio Brown wants out of Pittsburgh…

Doktor Zymm

I’ve had that exact customer service experience

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[checks score]

No, honey, let’s keep watching House Hunters International.

Sharkbait

I have the sound on the WJC gold medal game.

ballsofsteelandfury

Is the retired Dr. Mrs. RTD, Esquire checking out beach houses in Bali?

Spur

“it has everything I like but it has carpet”

Gratliff

I wonder what wall they’re gonna have to take out

SonOfSpam

“Our client is a film director who’s looking for a quiet bungalow with easy access to some of Thailand’s many orphanages…”

Horatio Cornblower

There was a great tweet about that a while back. “I’m a hamster trainer, and my wife is a part-time sitar tuner. Our budget is $900,000.”

Gatoraids

Combine House Hunters with Hard Knocks to watch as Snyder seeks to relocate to London.

Gatoraids

Or is Tiny Stadium more appropriate?

Spur

Go double TE and just hand it off to Dak and sprinkle in play action.

litre_cola

Mt. Baker is nearby, it is some fantastic skiing at a way better price than Colorado.

Horatio Cornblower

Feel like the Seahawks should have passed one into the heart of the defense there. Not sure what would have scared them off.

ballsofsteelandfury

JANOooooooo

Mr. Ayo

This is what happens when you establish the run.

Mr. Ayo

Never trust a schottenheimer in the playoffs.

Horatio Cornblower

Seriously, I lost a Scrabble game in which I actually spelled “faggot” because it got me a double-word score.

Then my wife went off the T and spelled “jets”, for a triple word.

Just goes to show, kids, homophobia does not play, in life or in Scrabble.

SonOfSpam

Scrabble is for queers, you homo.

King Hippo

Pile of sticks!

Horatio Cornblower

IT’S A LEGITIMATE WORD!!!!

Doktor Zymm

There’s no way this is a moral tale where the jets win

rockingdog

bahahaha!

herodotus450

Should’ve spelled “niggardly” instead smh

King Hippo

When we pick up a boy called Lee? – Mistuh Richardson

Horatio Cornblower

Jerry Richardson’s Scrabble board has a 3/5 score square.

Gratliff

We need sub-banners for quotes.

Doktor Zymm

Oh, that’s a commercial for a phone and not a commercial where they consider that judicial reform involves putting prisoners in different colors of jumpsuits

Spur

comment image

litre_cola

Sub Pop changed music.

Mother Puncher

Doesn’t Tarantino have a writing credit on this movie?

ballsofsteelandfury

Ford: we make vehicles for shitty drivers!

King Hippo

so….Murricans

WCS

Did you come for the punts? You’re in the right place!

Horatio Cornblower

I sure did, Madam! Send ’em out and I’ll make my choi…Oh Punts. Heh-heh.

Anyway, I’m in the wrong place.

SonOfSpam

Dammit, yours is better.

Horatio Cornblower

Same church, different pews.

Mr. Ayo

Wait, they go to a different chu… Oh Pews.

SonOfSpam

Hey c’mon, be respectful to the cheerleaders!

Oh…”punts”

Sorry.

fleshwound_NPG

nfl: everybody loves offense! 54-51 chiefs/rams? have some more of that!

regression to the mean gods: NOT SO FAST

Gratliff

Oh you lucky fuck

Doktor Zymm

So, as far as scary injuries go, Johnny Knox seems to be doing okay. Some reports that he can’t stand without discomfort, but coaching high school and I would guess better off than some of the people with lots of concussions.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dcfwqMfhtXQ

Horatio Cornblower

Just got on after having my wife kick my ass in Scrabble for the third consecutive time and finding out that our local Fox affiliate is of the air due to a contract dispute with the cable company.

Good thing I’ve got an app and three of these lined up.
comment image

SonOfSpam

That’s good stuff.

What happens in twenty minutes when you’re done with the three beers?

Horatio Cornblower

I fall over and start snoring.

SonOfSpam

WOOOO AGING!!!

Brick Meathook

comment image

Gratliff

Exactly how much cortisone is in Cole right now?

Sharkbait

Put it this way, he has too much blood in his cortisone system.

The Maestro

Enough that Hippo is already trying to find the phone number for the doc that shot him up…

SonOfSpam

Enough that they renamed it Coletisone.

Brick Meathook

“. . . a tender left ankle.”

King Hippo

well sure, a pile of goo is tender

Petronel

“A tendon left ankle”, since he’s only got one left now

herodotus450

Girls named Joey: hot or not?

Sharkbait

Not saying no, but it’s an uphill climb.

King Hippo

deffo not Blossom

Spur

All i know is that every girl I’ve known named Christina was good looking

fleshwound_NPG

it can turn a 10 into a 6

SonOfSpam

comment image

Brick Meathook

comment image

Brick Meathook

comment image

ballsofsteelandfury

comment image

Spur

Pete knew it was wise not to trust a man named Carson comment image

litre_cola

The Green Turtle is a great hostel even if it is next door to a needle exchange.

King Hippo

do some networking for Hippo!

Spur

HOLDING? It wasn’t block in the back?

litre_cola

The WTO “riots” were not riots. There was a Seahawks game before it it was 6-3 in overtime.