NFL Nuggets:
- Retired: (voluntarily)
- Haloti Ngata – after 13 years with the Ravens, Lions & Eagles.
- Max Unger – after 10 seasons with the Seahakws & Saints.
- Retired: (involuntarily):
- Vontaze Burfict – after 7 years with the Bengals.
- Actually, six years, given all the suspensions.
- Vontaze Burfict – after 7 years with the Bengals.
- Still playing: (surprisingly)
- Ryan Fitzpatrick – a one-year contract with the Dolphins
Spring finally goddamned arrived on the West Coast yesterday, so WineWife & I decided to take the dogs for an adventure outside the city to a region known as the Sunshine Coast. So, we drove to & boarded the ferry
and then made our way up to a couple of rural Provincial Parks to just get out & enjoy the serenity.
Followed by some tasty beverages at a very dog-friendly establishment.
Spring Break has indeed sprung!
Tonight’s sports:
- NHL:
- Canucks at Blackhawks – 8:30PM | Sportsnet / NHLN
- NBA:
- Knicks at Raptors – 7:30PM | TSN
- Warriors at Spurs – 8:00PM | ESPN / Sportsnet1
- Pacers at Trail Blazers – 10:30PM | ESPN / Sportsnet1
- NCAA:
- Nothing. Those dogshit play-in games start Tuesday.
- WWE:
- Monay Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
It’s the calm before the NCAA storm, fellow Commentists. Don’t forget to join the DFO Bracket Challenge – It’s in the ESPN Bracket Challenge, our group name is “DFO Bracket Insanity” and the password is DFO – and, for the love of Cthulhu, MAKE SURE TO HYDRATE!
Tonight’s open thread is the saddest “Letters To Penthouse” I have ever read.
I just walked around a gas station market four times looking for SPONCH! You guys ruined me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VS54zmuEY3s
Also please vote in the banner polls today if you haven’t, both matchups have been close affairs, so vote or keep your peace.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NfSELAyMh-I
Oh Freddie, such a beautiful human being.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VS54zmuEY3s
I think it’s time to watch the Wembley concert again. (And if you missed downloading it before, it’s been removed).
Mmm…man swirl…
Wait, what were we talking about again?
We were talking about ties for men only! . . . man-talking, power-packed patterns that tell her it’s a man’s world . . . and . . . something else. But it probably involves a great big hard cock, with a necktie around it, showing her who’s the boss.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ZBxdqGo8oA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bu-MBbhy5qE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-VVcDA4F4Q
Some days it’s just the idea that somewhere out there, someone is getting infantilly angry over the correct pluralization of “Lego” that keeps me going.
Dear DFO mailbag
My girlfriend and I broke up a few weeks ago and now she won’t talk to me to tell me why. Can you help? You’re my only hope.
“t”
/ too far?
LOL, you guys really enjoy my pain too much.
Not far enough.
Fair game
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QavplVberM8
No idea if these are from the actual movie or from that James Franco remake thing; never saw either
?cid=3640f6095c904d9e6b3936652e7ecdd6
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ilFRnQJBf7o&t=52
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyo4WyEnSXE
Assuming the “L” in tWLS stands for Lisa
?cid=3640f6095c904b2f70416b336bd716ae
OK, you are having way too much fun at the expense of my emotional trauma.
How else am I supposed to reach it?
Apparently, I’m “Injured my shoulder by falling asleep with it under a pillow” years old. On the bright side, I’ve only got like 50 years left of this bullshit, so that’s nice.
I’m at the next stage. “Strain your neck stretching after waking up.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aIkqNiBASfI
“I am applying for this position because my current one makes me want to break my desk chair and shove the sharpened pieces through my eyes and into my brain.”
[Re-reads twice, sighs and holds down delete button]
“I’m applying for this position because I have had a lifelong interest in the biomedical industry, specifically Antibody Labeling and Fluorescence.”
Eh, seems disingenuous and is an outright lie. [Holds down delete button]
“Hire me for this job already, since I’m fucking qualified, I don’t cause drama and I have ins at all of the local breweries around the office, of which there are many.”
Fucking nailed it.
lol
My objective is:
“I am applying for this position because so many people have quit this company and we’ve pissed off so many customers, I’m starting to feel like an junior officer on the RMS Titanic.”
“I’m applying for this position because the bodies are starting to float to the surface at my current position.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jC9AUR-iTo0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8WR3gF9J0hQ
Gaaaaah!
Warriors struggling against Los Spurs….
OK, I’m kinda pissed off at the girl formerly known at tWLS and am about to go make it worse.
Someone talk me out of it please.
Nah, nevermind….too late. There’s a few things she needs to know before I turn and walk away for good.
Do it and we’ll break your thumbs.
Do it, and I will go Full Republican on you. Anti-Abortion. Pro-Gun. Pro-Order 66. Pro-Death Penalty. Anti-Entitlements.
THE WORKS!!!
“There’s a few things she needs to know before I turn and walk away for good.”
Trust us, she doesn’t. Walk away now.
Like I said, too late.
I want to know why after all I did for her, she couldn’t find 15-20 minutes to talk to me and at least try to work this out. I’m not naive, we might not have worked it out. But she wouldnl’t even fucking try.
I want to fucking know why.
She doesn’t have to tell you. You don’t have to like it. You do have to respect it.
Honest, I’m being respectful.
I’m venting on you guys…not on her.
But really would like to understand why she’s not even willing to talk.
Cool, and I don’t mean to sound like a dick, but I’ve been there and you just have to walk away.
Or drink, cry and masturbate. Got me through high school!
Doesn’t matter I think. I’m not going to get the answers I’m asking for. She’s just not capable. Which really sucks. But time for me to recognize that and run like hell.
I hope she’ll be OK. But one day, she’s going to regret not talking to me to try to work this out I think. Doesn’t matter anymore.
Have a nice night, gentlemen.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j2s8yGMEbSs
Why she’s not willing to talk?
Some people suck.
Dunno why she’s not willing to talk because…ya know….she won’t talk.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v7LBggDKEtM
Dude start messing around on bumble
on tinder
or Coffee Meets Bagel
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comparison_of_online_dating_services
Block her number and everything else already and be done.
I will. Right after I get an answer.
“You’re right. I do have a Gambling Problem. I’ll quit. Right after the NCAA Tournament.”
Hey, I’m up to $9k minus the vig.
So, never then.
Throw some bombs man!
I’ve fallen hard for a girl way out of my league and I know it’s gonna end badly!
It’s very quiet in my household at the moment. Both the dog and cat are sleeping, and my wife is quietly perusing the internet. What’s the over/under on how long before she demands that I get to work on some chore or another?
Go sneak away and smoke some weed….
Hmm. It would be fun to see if she’d notice. But I can’t; I’ve got billable work to do.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=2-Gy-kBsmNs&feature=youtu.be
Say your going to the park to walk the track. Then go to bar.
oh buddy, that dynamic is at least 40% of how I ended up getting divored
Me: “Hey, why do you spend so much time on your computer?”
Her: *scowls, immediately looks back at screen*
Me: *starts bookmarking rentals*
Oh man, I shot Marvin in the face.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bgGgp4mOU4
Where were you three years ago?!
I laughed so hard in the theatre when that happened
/may be a sociopath
Dead Ninja Storage.
Papa Commander told me that he and one other guy laughed throughout that movie in the theater while everyone else was dead silent. I’ll let him know I found the other guy.
I’m just amazed that Hippo left the house.
😀
No, I thought it was hilarious too. I was fifteen at the time and had snuck into the theater.
I am prolly the only one, but I typically enjoy the play-in round MOAR than the Final Four.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2TBc_YB600c
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yMMz2VwbhVI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PRTwOZoWTmQ
Ummmm is it bad if this song is one of my favorite Karaoke Songs?
Not in my opinion. Others might disagree.
Anywhoooooo…. I’ll stop being a downer now. Have a video with hot girl in it….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NWsSSJ5skx4&t=2s
Sorry, link fixed.
My computer is so fucked up.
Good. I had the Smile Song on standby, just in case.
Whats the smile song?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQKaAlMNvm8
weird seeing Andrew Bogut out there for the warriors.
Wasn’t he on the team that blew the 3-1 lead in the finals?
LOL
Wait….what!!!
Durant got kicked in the dicK?
LOL
In honor of rockingdog’s many good funnies, here a Christian funny:
“During the Staff Meeting, the Youth Paster fell alseep. We quietly stood up, put some clothes on the chairs, snuck out and then loudly blew a trumpet.”
found a funny:
I hate when a couple argues in public but I missed the start and don’t know whose side I’m on.
Burfict was wasted talent. Any other coach with an ounce of discipline would’ve taught him how to play football without having to hurt his opponent. He played reckless; you can fix that.
Unfortunately he was doomed with the wrong coach who “Let Burfict Be Burfict”. Hopefully he saved his money.
“(Shrugs) Nobody’s Burfict.”
-Marvin L.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rE1oIhSgTgI
Sunny Adventure! Cool!
So, I swallowed my pride once again today and reached out to the girl formerly known as tWLS, and I asked her if we could please talk? Please at least give it a shot and try to fix things?
I got a 3 word response a coupla hours later…
“I can’t, Mark”
Time to stop trying I guess, huh?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yBI6FYRGxdY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2zWOPCi-PWA
Hehehehe….you smartass.
But at least I’m laughing.
Cut it off tWBS.
HAHHAHA!!!!
Damn it, tWBS! Do we have to take away your Decision Making Privileges?
Seriously, Mark. I’m sorry its over but at least you can walk away knowing you put your cards on the table.
Thanks my friend.
Today was my last try. I don’t like it, and I don’t have to like it. But it was. I’ve given her space and time. Not to mention everything I did for her and have proven how dedicated I was (past tense now) to her and her well-being. I fixed two houses for her, drove up and down the east coast multiple times, took care of her ailing mother, and was by her bedside during surgery.
If she can’t find a way to at least talk even once over the past month since our adversity began?
Then there’s no reason to continue.
*sigh*
To quote some words that Internet Granddaddy Ufford wrote to me one time, “Past time, yo.”
Yup. But had to give it one last try to be sure.
Now I am.
DOGGIES!!!!! BIG DOGGIES!!!!!
YAY!!!!!!
That’s it, I’m moving to Vancouver.
Wait, the housing prices probably aren’t any cheaper than SoCal.
But you have large happy dogs. So I’m there.
But with that sweet USD to CAD conversion, think of how much poutine you could get, basically for free!
I do love that, but I think it’s spelled “poontang”
I call this music video, “I pushed the smash cut edit button so much it screwed up the aspect ratio”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PUdyuKaGQd4&start_radio=1&list=RDPUdyuKaGQd4
Someone get this music video an editing oscar ASAP
I named a fantasy football team after this song/video (Chardonnay and Adderall). It won a title.
/also speaking of winning, that’s Dennis’ real wife in the video, she was also the pharmacist in the “magnum dong” condoms episode (the D.E.N.N.I.S. system)
Beerguyrob on the ferry, artist’s conception:
Your dogs are the smilingest dogs ever.
yeah, they seem awfully pleasant, even FOAR Canadia
“Ryan Fitzpatrick – a one-year contract with the Dolphins”
/Sniffs glue.
Yup, that sounds about right.
Only one more team for him to hit the cycle for the AFC East, but I doubt if that fourth team he hasn’t played for would ever sign him…
Well not with that attitude.