New Year Resolutions 2019 – Quarter Time Update

As you may remember, I did a post at the beginning of the year outlining my goals for the year and encouraging you to create and achieve your own. I promised I would provide updates as the year went on.

Since April is the start of the second quarter of the year, I thought now was as good a time as any to share with you where I am at and to remind you of what you said you would do. Updates from those who are participating are welcome in the comments.

Without further ado, TO THE RESOLUTIONS!


Balls Resolution #1 – Have a Body Fat Percentage in the Teens

This is a toughie. When I started this adventure, I was at 25%. I just recently weighed myself and I’m basically the same as before (Maybe down a couple of pounds). I am definitely trying to eat better and build up the base for a workout program that will start later this spring.

Quarter Time Update: Incomplete, but with a plan in place.

Balls Resolution #2 – Travel somewhere outside the continental U.S.

This one is actually on its way to happening. I got an email with a great deal on flights to the South Pacific, so I jumped on it. In the beginning of May, I’ll be hopefully headed to Fiji for a week of rest and relaxation. Yes, I’ll write a Boots On The Ground about my time there.

Quarter Time Update: Incomplete, but tickets have been purchased and the trip is planned/scheduled.

Balls Resolution #3 – Write at least 69 posts for DFO

As you can see at the bottom of every post I’ve written this year, I am tracking how many posts I write. This one is #49 out of 69, which is not too shabby considering we are only at the Quarter Time mark.

Assuming things continue to go well, I should be able to complete this goal by the time I write the Half Time update.

Quarter Time Update: Incomplete, but more than 69% of the way there.

Balls Resolution #4 – Do one thing sexually with a partner that I’ve never done before.

As you may remember from one of the BFC Mailbags, I discovered something called pompoir, which is a sexual technique in which the woman uses her vaginal muscles to stimulate the man’s penis. Intrigued, I approached a lady friend about it and she was receptive.

I have purchased a kegel exercising device (comes with an app!) which she can use to exercise those muscles in preparation for our attempt at utilizing this technique to maximum effect. It’s a work in progress, but it’s a fun work in progress.

Quarter Time Update: Incomplete, but with a plan in place and preparations underway.

Balls Resolution #5 – Host a dinner party where I’ve cooked all the food from scratch. At least four courses (soup, appetizer, main, dessert)

I got the Baby Jesus in this year’s Rosca De Reyes, which means I must host a party, so I am doubly forced to achieve this goal. In Mexican tradition, I was supposed to have hosted the party before February 2, but that didn’t happen.

I do vow, however, to ensure this party takes place and that I will cook all the food from scratch. I’ve already got the dessert and main dishes identified and have printed out the recipes. I only need to figure out the soup and appetizer.

Quarter Time Update: Incomplete, but with a plan 50% complete.


That’s all for me, but what about you? Here are some of the lists you fine commentists provided in the comments:

Senor Weaselo

  • Catch up on my compositions (need to edit one piece and polish a second)
  • Revisit the Bach Sonatas and Partitas because it’s been too long for some of them
  • Figure out how to cromulently control a class of elementary school kids playing violin.
  • Try and see if I can schedule a recital for either late 2019 or early 2020, whether solo or chamber.
  • Probably the easiest one, I should probably tell the parentals about Senorita Weaselo at some point. Like that she exists, for instance.


  • Lose 25-35 lbs by the time it is my close friend’s wedding in August.
  • Find a doctor in Calgary and get surgery after I lose 25-35 lbs. Lose more weight after surgery.
  • Manage my time better so I can get an A in my 2 distance education classes that I’m starting on Monday. I’m capable of acing these classes only if I manage my time. Otherwise, I’m fucked.
  • Survive, be patient, be empathetic and help ToddlerZilla along in her Tyrant Two phase. It’s amazing how much 2 year olds change and develop seemingly on a daily basis, and how much that change causes them to act out and push all your buttons.
  • Take more chances on opportunities available in order to be more successful in my career and in life.


  • lose 25lbs.
  • read 35 books (I’m a book hound but have never kept track of how many I’ve read over a calendar year)
  • Take up yoga. (I’ll likely modify this goal down the road if I get the hang of it)
  • Leave the country. (for a bit-haven’t been out since 2016)
  • Do an in-depth story on one of my childhood sports heroes.


  • Lose 10 pounds (health need is more but want to start achievable)
  • Write SOMETHING once a week, whether it’s for DFO or a personal writing
  • Take at least five minutes during the workweek to meditate or do something else mindful
  • Get back into drumming
  • Fly less

Game Time Decision

  • Eat better and get down to 210, maybe 205. Prob sitting at 220 now as I ate my way through the holiday season
  • Write more here
  • Work out 4 to 5 times a week
  • Get together with friends more. We’ve been antisocial lately
  • Read a book a month. Read 3 last year. Miss it

Yeah Right

  • Pick my guitar back up.
  • Visit at least 2 new massage parlors
  • Cook at least 3 new ethnic meals
  • Visit another new to me baseball stadium
  • Bench press the NFL combine standard of 225.

Son Of Spam

  • Lose 40 pounds
  • Write for the site more often than 2018 (should be easy)
  • Plan bucket-list trip for 2020
  • Convert all humans to one gender via easily-absorbed chemical spray
  • Eat less red meat


  • Organize a Family dinner once a quarter
  • Eat healthy and maintain my goal weight
  • Learn JSON (or one other coding/programming language)
  • Read 5 books
  • Visit my family in L.A.

King Hippo

  • Try heroine
  • Go back to juicing (the non-steroid kind) 95% or more of the time
  • Get to and stay at no more than 185 lbs
  • Get on disability so I can quit killing my neck toiling where I am unappreciated
  • DIE

How are you doing on your lists? Please share in the comments!




International Member of the Geelong Cats and recovering Steelers fan. Likes Butts. And Balls. And Boobs. Pretty much anything that starts with the letter B. Preferably together.

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re: diet-wise, having lost 11 pounds in the last little while-

Boiled egg whites, raw green beans, raw mini cucumbers, poached haddock fillets, raspberries, canned salmon and blueberries can all go fuck themselves.


It’s raining like a sumbitch right now.
Which reminds me, I need to clean out the gutters.


Also, DirecTV still can’t outsmart rain.


Stay out of the gutter

“Not having very much success with this goal. Hopefully come summer I’ll have made some progress.”





Lose 25 Pounds: I’m down from 235 to 224 as of this morning so I’ll revise to 35 pounds lost.

35 Books: I’m at 12 so far and I’m just about to put Jasper Fforde’s Early Riser to bed so make it 13.

Yoga: It’s on and off. Let no one tell you it’s an easy go.

Leave The Country: Hasn’t been done yet but oldest kid’s nagging will make this happen.

Story About Hero: I’m giving myself an ‘F’ here but I have done some research on why Sidney Moncrief (before his knees went to shit) is/was an incredibly under-rated player when the league was dominated by the likes of Bird, Magic, Jordan, Thomas, King, etc.


Survive, be patient, be empathetic and help ToddlerZilla has been challenging, but successful so far. But shit, she has landed some good shots on me.

Take more chances on opportunities available in order to be more successful in my career and in life has paid off in dividends, too. I’ve been promoted and may get an even better job with another company.

Weight goal is weird. I have lost just 2 pounds (there’s still time!) but a fuck ton of inches. So, no, I’m not where I am yet, but I am nearing swimming in my clothes.

My time management is good, but my English lit teacher is a piece of work. So, call it a wash


The promotion within a year? That’s kinda like Ruth calling his shot. Nice.

Horatio Cornblower

One of things about working out is that if you’re adding muscle you will lose inches but may gain weight, as muscle is heavier than fat.

But not as tasty, as any CHUD will tell you.


Lose 10 pounds (health need is more but want to start achievable): I’ve lost like two, I think, so that means on pace. More importantly I’ve actually been working out so this new gym membership is not just a fat tax. That’s been a good thing.
Write SOMETHING once a week, whether it’s for DFO or a personal writing Eh, this has been a mixed bag. I started off doing a good job with the weekly and then slid to less than biweekly on the Mailbag (late on one right meow) and have written almost nothing outside of DFO. So I may need to reassess this goal (shift to twice a month?) and get back to writing.
Take at least five minutes during the workweek to meditate or do something else mindful. Does masturbating count? This one has been mixed. I’ve tried the mindfulness app, I’ve taken a gentle yoga class, I’ve worked on my breathing, but not every week. And the mindfulness app sucked a little so open to other suggestions with less annoying push notifications.
Get back into drumming Total fail. My kit is literally gathering dust.
Fly less SUCCESS! I know you won’t believe me but I have flown less this quarter than first quarter last year.


Lose 40 pounds

Um…haven’t gained anything, and am back to exercising 3-4 days a week

Write for the site more often than 2018 (should be easy)

Gotta get going, but should still achieve that

Plan bucket-list trip for 2020

Leaning towards Alaska land/sea thing, but nothing definite yet

Convert all humans to one gender via easily-absorbed chemical spray

End of summer at the latest. Working on scent right now, either Lemon or New Car Smell.

Eat less red meat

Saturday night’s delicious strip steaks notwithstanding, doing better on this. Maybe once a week, will aim for about twice a month.

Great job everyone!

(Also, don’t really care about BOTG – Fiji as much as BOTG – New Sex Thang)

yeah right

While everything got put on hold after tearing my rotator cuff I’m happy to report that I’m down 25 pounds since last year, you will all see a brand new cuisine in a couple of weeks and my trip to Seattle to catch a new stadium is on track.

Horatio Cornblower

My resolution was to lose all sense of perspective at my job, increase my alcohol intake as well as the amount of cheese pizza consumed.

My doctor and I agree that I am well on my way to meeting those goals, but only one of us is happy about it.


I only have one and that’s to be sub-220 for the first time since my last year of high school. I started out at 310 about a year and a half ago, and got all the way down to 236 through exercise alone before surgery cost me a month at the end of last year. I’ve been hovering right around 250ish for the last 4 months and need to stop fucking about. Now that it’s warm and I’m back to doing my long walks, I should get back down under 240 pretty easy, but hitting my goal is gonna require me to eat right and I think I’d rather just die tbh.

Game Time Decision

Eat better and get down to 210, maybe 205. Prob sitting at 220 now as I ate my way through the holiday season

Still at 220, but starting to eat butterbetter

Write more here

haha, does 4 posts count? No? ok, so, need to work on this one

Work out 4 to 5 times a week

Yep, have karate with the oldest GTD twice a week, have lacrosse once or twice a week, go for a “run/jog/walk” on Sunday’s, and then (try to) use the weights on off nights.

Get together with friends more. We’ve been antisocial lately

Yep, had friends over for dinner on Saturday, have gone out for a few dinners with friends and have made plans for a few more

Read a book a month. Read 3 last year. Miss it

YES, on book 6 and have 4 more at home waiting to be read.


“Be careful. You can meet all your goals and still get sent home to your cat.”

-Kristjen Niejlsen


I like that she compromised herself so badly that all her friends see her as a monster who gleefully put children in cages, and she still got fired for not being inhuman enough.


That’s a woman for you, amirite?


Pictured: Kristknensijen Nieljiejen’s cat
comment image

Ian Scott McCormick

“Try heroine”
Yes. Let’s all try a fully actualized female embodiment of empowerment.


I thought it meant that he wanted to prosecute and imprison a female hero.


I think he just wanted to fuck Gal Gadot, which is fine.


Organize a Family dinner once a quarter
Well, it wasn’t a dinner per se, but I did host my sister and brother in law for a day of meal prep for the upcoming week last month, so I’ll count that. Next meal prep day is set for May which would count for Q2

Eat healthy and maintain my goal weight
I’ve been a little lax on this one. I’ve essentially maintained my weight since January. Goal is to lose another 10 lbs by September. Overall, I’m down 27 lbs from when I started in November of last year.

Learn JSON (or one other coding/programming language)
This resolution I haven’t done much with. That is on me, and I need to step up on learning a language.

Read 5 books
Finished “How the Good Guys Finally Won: Notes from an Impeachment Summer” by Jimmy Breslin
Started “1776” by David McCullough
Next up is “The Man Who Ate Everything” by Jeffrey Steingarten

Visit my family in L.A.
This one I might be able to squeeze in under the wire. I made this resolution before the prospect of having a kid came up. I’m sure once the baby arrives, I’ll be making a trip to California for a family visit. There will be plenty of travel in the meantime, with two trips to Chicago, and one to the UK lined up. If I miss out on LA, I’ll at least have done some other traveling this year.


Do you know Python or PowerShell? Learn one of those instead.

Game Time Decision

i vote for him to learn assembly.
/push, pop, jump


I did assembly for a microcomputer architecture course. Like half the class dropped out after the first week. Lots of fun.


I do not, but I will look into them!


PowerShell is the be-all and end-all of Windows automation and server administration. Python is everyone’s favorite language these days, but I learned as much of it as I needed to to connect to APIs because I’m all about not having to actually work when I’m working.


comment image?


Javascript is one of the easiest to get into IMO, because you can do everything right inside the console of your browser.


Especially since JSON isn’t a language.


Indeed it isn’t. I should’ve updated that when I copy/pasted my resolutions in.


Unless you are talking about JIVE-SON, which is more of a dialect than an actual language.