There’s no need for a long introduction or rambling adventure through my past. It’s playoff season, baby, and focus should be on the watching, not the whimsy.
I would be remiss, however, if I didn’t point out that the Game 1s so far pretty much blew up my predictions from Tuesday & Wednesday. Luckily, Tampa was the only sweep I predicted, and if they hadn’t shit away a three-goal lead I’d still be sitting pretty.
My prognostication abilities pretty much confirm I don’t worship GAMBLOR, and that I likely deserved to finish
fourth from the bottom of the [DFO] Bracket Challenge.
SNL:
- Live episode tonight: 11:30PM – NBC / Global
These K-twinks are all boys. - Emma Stone / BTS (K-pop)
Tonight’s sports:
- NHL: all are Game 2
- Stars at Predators – 6:00PM | CNBC / (Stars lead 1-0)
- Leafs at Bruins – 8:00PM | NBC / CBC (Leafs lead 1-0)
- Avalanche at Flames – 10:30PM | NBCSN / CBC
- NBA:
- Clippers at Warriors – 8:15PM | ABC / TSN4
- Spurs at Nuggets – 10:30PM | ESPN
- NCAA:
- The Frozen Four championship game
- UMASS vs. Minnesota-Duluth – 8:00PM | ESPN2 / TSN2
- College Baseball:
- Arkansas at Vanderbilt – 9:00PM | ESPNU
- The Frozen Four championship game
- MLB:
- Mets at Braves – 7:00PM | FS1
- UFC 236: Holloway vs. Poirier 2: From Atlanta
- Prelims – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN5
- Formula One Racing:
- Chinese Grand Prix – 2:00AM | ESPN2 / TSN
DON’T STAY UP TOO LATE!
That’s a nice car.
I’d like to get in it.
Nice ride. The car is neat, too.
I’m listening to the original Flight Of The Conchords radio show from the BBC. Murray is called Brian & there’s a narrator. Lots of old live clips of them as a four-piece band. Really funny shit. One-way phone calls and such.
Remember Ricky Schroder from Silver Spoons (and late series NYPD Blue)? His oldest daughter is hot as balls.
–
I like her landscaping.
The Padres are 11-5 and have won 4/5 series for the first time since 1998.
I don’t know how to feel just now, so I’m having another beer.
Since eldest brother right is a fan I’ve seen pretty much every Padres game and I’m here to say…
That is a fun ball club.
They’ve got an energy to them this year.
It’s… surreal, to say the least.
We should most definitely catch a game.
I can bring youngest right and wee little right!
I’m going to a game in the Reds series next week. Let me know when you guys want to go and I’ll be there!
Fuck You
– Orioles Fans
That’s their standard reply to “Hello”, “How are you?”, or “Welcome to McDonald’s. May I take your order?”
They’re no Mariners, but good for them.
The movie made me more of an Aquaman fan, between the two.
It’s not pride, but not quite the opppsite of shame? Not-shame?
Hmm. I went out to a one of those local vendor markets and recorded a video last night of a woman giving her pitch about the CBD-infused olive oil she makes. now I have head shops following me on social media. That’s funny.
I’ve caught myself thinking I should go all in on being a little piggy and build a niche as a foodie lawyer sometimes. But given the reaction from that and other stuff I shared from last night … it’s probably a better idea than I gave it credit for when it first popped up in my head. Plus maybe free swag.
Avs frustration at not scoring + the very existence of Matthew Tkachuk = potential Donnybrook
I hope people nickname him nunchucks.
He’s the archetype nhl pest. Esa Tikkanen reborn.
Yo, yeah right! Making chicken stock tonight to make your green Chile chowder tomorrow. Thanks again, mate!
Glad to help my brother.
The Hatch chilies really work with that recipe but you can also fire roast whatever is fresh.
Give that cornbread a go while you’re at it.
That shit was banging.
And using homemade stock is hard core.
I’ll give you mad props for that.
I’d like to make a living just making different stocks (vegetable, beef, chicken, Chinese, Japanese, seafood) and selling them to restaurants.
What do you do with the rest of the parts of the Japanese?
Ramen.
No shit, I didn’t know there were actual ramen restaurants. Last summer I found that out, in West Hollywood. And also was politely hit on by an attractive black man while being there with an attractive black woman.
It was an interesting day.
I was with the attractive black woman, btw. Not him.
Just clarifying.
Like many stupid young men, I used to get upset when gay men hit on me. Then I realized that if a gay man found me attractive, I should really take it as a compliment, because by and large gay men are vastly more attractive than hetereosexual men.
Tatsu?
I’m going to. My wife is taking a cheat day from her Keto diet, so I’m going balls to the wall!
Padres call to the bullpen.
I just watched the end of season 6 Game of Thrones. The episode when Sam made it to the citadel to become a maester. When he was given access to the library and he walked among all the books ever written brought me to tears.
That’s what I want. That’s all I want. All of the books and all of the time in the world to read them.
Nirvana.
Yeah, sorry. Back to the kitchen with you.
I’ll show you! I’ll show…
A really bad ass recipe tomorrow morning on Sunday Gravy!
Stay tuned!
Can’t wait! Nirvana!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tGc8jL4dzao
1994 is on the phone. They say they have some “unfortunate news.”
Something about Courtney trying out a music career I assume?
Pretty close!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UAxARJyaTEA&t=8s
Of course that came to mind but it doesn’t apply!
I have to take my glasses OFF to read.
I’m immune!
To be fair, you’ll be dead from radiation poisoning in four days, tops.
I didn’t read what you wrote because I’m watching it for the first time tonight. Finally fucking about to be caught up!
I see my order has arrived. Later taters.
Silly puppers. That’s not going to stop me.
Remember. When they’re dead they’re just hookers.
Gotta admit, I’m curious how good or bad that bus smells.
I could watch this for an hour and laugh every time. It’s like a Roadrunner cartoon.
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOL IBRA REDUX!
Damn the Galaxy are en fuego in the world’s best football league!
I wuv pizza too.
GOOOOOOOOOOL IBRA!!!
It’s such a treat to watch the Galaxy playing in the best league in the world.
Soccer. The Beautiful Game. But I ain’t gonna explain myself to no heathen.
Venom sure was something, though what that something was, I’m not quite sure. The only part I really cared about was the possibility of seeing Woody Harrelson ham it up in the sequel.
Earlier this evening, after we’d gotten 5+ inches of rain, and had flash flood warnings all day, my niece decided she wanted doughnuts. So tWBS went out and got doughnuts.
How many of those doughnuts do you think she ate? Hint: bet the under.
Pics?
Of the doughnuts or the flooding?
Doughnuts. It’s almost dinner time here.
Here’s the flooding. That dock has only ever been under water three times before today. My late father and I built it in ’86. Today was the fourth time. About an hour after this photo was taken.
This melting iceberg assault cannot stand. Actions must be taken.
Let’s not get hasty!!!!!
-Titanic
https://deadspin.com/sharks-logan-couture-is-thankful-he-didnt-lose-a-testic-1834025465
Greyhound don’t float on water….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWgvGjAhvIw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o0qyP1bA-ME
LAA-CHI 3rd Base Umpire had Dinner Reservations and wanted to beat traffic.
https://www.msn.com/en-us/sports/mlb/video-kyle-schwarber-charges-umpire-after-being-called-out-on-check-swing-to-end-cubs-game/ar-BBVUDjW?ocid=spartanntp
It was a strike. Schwarber should get suspended for going ape shit.
Pro Tip: During an argument with a romantic interest, it’s a bad idea to tell her to calm down and relax her sphincter.
Trust me.
Different girl in this case, btw.
You’re not supposed to combined Steps 1 and 69.
We learn from experience.
Women do not like being told to calm down.
And “sphincter” is completely off the table. So to speak.
Next time tell her to calm her tits.
I’ve had great results with that one.
That doesn’t seem better.
Although admittedly, I was once told to calm MY tits.
And it did make me laugh.
The girl who told me that is known here.
That is hilarious. I’d put my penis in her just for that line.
Want me to tell you who she is?
Of course.
You already know.
Good to see ya getting back on the horse bro!
Okay, let’s see how the Reds lost this… Viva Los Rojas de Cincinnati!!! Four in a row!
Girls, girls girls!!!!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kqNN2XJ4wmk
rocking dog. cactus.
Dog: “What’s this shit around my neck?”
He seems very relaxed for having just won the Olympics.
Is he doping?
Wanna know an interesting moment in life?
When you’re in the getting to know you stages of a relationship and you discover she already owns a big bottle of Astroglide. Your brain does weird things….
And yes, she’s probably reading this right now. Don’t care.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lZgHdOU-ko
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vka1W1d7G9A
She has a nightstand drawer full of condoms in all sizes and styles.
And her iPad has a credit card reader.
Dunno about the iPad and credit card reader.
But yes on the rest. And a lot of toys, some of which I foot the bill for in Florida.
Hell, I was so excited I wanted to stick one in me.
I’ll never forget my friend Ron who met this beautiful girl and dated her a few times and was totally in love and telling all of us about her and how he loved her and then one night he saw her getting fucked hard in a Cinemax soft-core porno.
Movies are the best.
Weird that you’re calling BallsOfSteel “she” but ok.
I did the stupid thing and ordered parts for a new gaming PC build. Now I need something shiny to play with it that isn’t Dark Souls Clone #12. Is the Resident Evil 2 remake worthwhile?
I heard “The Sims 2” is pretty tight.
WHAT A GREAT IDEA
1) Build a cheerleader obstacle course
2) ???????
3) Profit
I got their obstacle course…RIGHT HERE!!!
NC State’s #3 ranked baseball team lost a double header today to #12 Louisville. First series they’ve lost this year. And this is not the worst thing to ever happen, don’t get me wrong.
BUT THEY FREAKING GAVE UP 14 RUNS IN BOTH GAMES.
Hallelujah, holy shit, where’s the tylenol?
College baseball sucks, and my opinion has nothing to do with the ranked Anteaters losing to ranked Santa Barbara yesterday and today.
Guess who’s about to chauffeur my wife and her friend to go see Pink in concert?
(I am. Just wanted to be clear on that. And before anyone calls me pathetic, hey, it’s better than actually attending the concert. You know…go ahead and still call me pathetic.)
/is happy to hang out with Pink and your wife
Nah, I wanna limit her exposure to lesbians.
Wait…you talking about Pink, or the Missus?
Was talking about you, you softball-playing flannel-wearing Indigo Girl.
LMFAO
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dI1keSSwdcI
Q: What has four legs and eats pussy?
A: The Indigo Girls!
just so long as she noes 1 in teh stink later smh
Always use the pinky.
Or sometimes the thumb.
Your girlfriend’s pi knows an infinite number of digits.
They don’t call me “Three Finger Brown” for nuthin’.
I thought it was because of that time you ran out of toilet paper.
Ummmmm…..I didn’t know you knew about that.
Remember when I sent you the “Bless This Mess” framed picture and asked you to hang it in your bathroom and you said “There better not be a camera in the frame” and I said “How silly, there’s no camera, that’s just crazy talk”?
I may have lied.
That would be a shock.
I don’t know what you’re talking about, there are FAR worse musical acts than Pink.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ht672-wYelc
4.5 innings complete in Atlanta.
And everyone is bored and looking to fight.
Then either tell your mom to leave the room or change the channel.
Hehehehe….well played.
Q: Why do the Mets and Braves exist?
A: To distract us, even if just momentarily, from how much we hate the Red Sox and Yankees.
HeritageNAWTHate
If we didn’t have the Braves, the racists would only have Cleveland to cheer for
y he has 2 hate that feller just cuz he’s White smgdh
u done forgot ’bout the Birmingham Nigras! – Jefferson Beauregard S., Lickspittle, AL
Finally got around to Captain Marvel. Pretty good, but should have had 250% more space laser battles. My prediction of 2 hours of exposition and 10 minutes of laser hands was sadly very accurate.
And now I’m on to Venom, and apparently Tom Hardy did a different set of narcotics before every scene
nice…Padres up 2-0 early.
Refs REALLY letting Boston goon it up. Gasoline, meet match.
Found a funny:
We’re going to knock the Declaration of Independence off the shelf.
That is truly disturbing.
Broo-ins have that Doo-Koo Kim look about them. Terrifying…
Padres playing Arizona. should be fun!
Jack Tripper vs H.I. McDonough: WHO YA GOT?!
In case you missed it from very late last night, apparently I got busted jerking off on the internet:
LOL!!!!
c’mon Brick, self-abuse just t’aint Christian ,, smh
Hehehehe…you said taint.
inorite?
You are very Perverted
Said the guy peeping dudes as they rub one out
let he who has a free hand cast the first stone
I’m not paying in hopes the video is real and gets out.
I’m not worried about the video getting out, I want a cut of the profits because that is going to be a viral blockbuster.
Just make sure there’s a [DFO] watermark on it.
The good ones are using data dumps from breaches to send them with actual emails and passwords used in the body of the email. We had a rash of them targeting students last year and you can bet your ass those kids looked like they’d seen a ghost when they were getting phished.
…and that why I have my WebCam Lens covered.
Sending teams to Japan, Mexico. Fuck off MLB, send some folks to Rwanda next year, grow a little hair on them balls.
Not trying to tell scotchy how to do his bidness, but the #BFIB manager is looking awful hobo-y today…
Guess who has two thumbs and has to go to work at 6 AM tomorrow to take care of something that should have been done already by someone else?
/ sticks thumbs up own ass
I have to wake up at 7 because my dumb kid has work!
Why wouldn’t they stick their thumbs up your ass?
you’re not only making Round 2, y’all gonna have homefield advantage
The NBA won’t allow it. Expect a bunch of fishy calls for Toronto in Game 2.
That Matt Carpenter “triple” reminds me of that scorched ground ball home run I hit in Little League…
oh my, Redlegs…
Dios mio!
Redshirt ain’t kidding, the teevee camera angle es muy askew
(earlier)
P/A: And now, the National Anthem of the United States of America. (repeats in Spanish)
(eleven seconds of dead air)
“Star Spangled Banner” begins halfway into the 2nd Measure.
in fairness, all they best Mexican workers is here already
But we have no room! Trump said so himself!
Cardinals-Reds are playing in Mexico. It has the Production Quality of a Low A stadium.
VIVA el Jorts!
After listening to the Mexican National Anthem, I will never complain about the length of the American National Anthem again. But with Mexicans having to listen to “The Star Spangled Banner” a couple billion times, I think I was do for one rendition of “Himno Nacional Mexicano”. Well, twice including tomorrow’s game.
Like the name of Monterrey’s stadium (“estadio el beisbol”), you can’t say their anthem is deceptively named.
“the baseball stadium”. They’re very literal south of the border, are they?
At the Calgary Zoo and there’s this guy who can’t get over how the animals here are real. Like, what kind of zoos has this guy been to?
An old roommate of mine’s boyfriend, when told they would be attending dinosaur night at the zoo, asked her excitedly if there would be real dinosaurs there.
the human race really does deserve extinction
I just wish I could be around to see what replace us. I hope it’s something we created ourselves!
My money’s on the Dolphins if we flood the Earth or if we complete kill the Earth dead, maybe some microbes on the bottom of the ocean who can survive until the Earth can heal itself from us killing it.
Nah, they’ll still choke in the last two weeks and miss the playoffs.
sentient plastic grocery bags FTW
Family: You can’t live with them, you have the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the State and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against you; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in your favor, and to have the Assistance of Counsel for your defense.
What a coincidence, that’s what the invitations to my family’s reunion said.
So, anyone else load up on Jets, Lighting and Penguins like me and are instantly regretting it? I’m in trouble….
I loaded up on beer last night and have had some regrets.
headache of death, plus the all-day trots?
/I done that last weekend
The trick is to pee 2 hours before you really wake up for good. During that time, just down a bunch of pills before you go back to bed, regardless of whether you notice you have a headache or not. Then you’re fine. Usually.
this worked until I was 35 or so…
[loads up on white lightning]
– Jim Tomsula
Never load up on the Jets!
-Signed, a Jets fan