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Your Saturday Evening All Sports Playoff Spectacular & Open Thread

Beerguyrob

/

,

There’s no need for a long introduction or rambling adventure through my past. It’s playoff season, baby, and focus should be on the watching, not the whimsy.

I would be remiss, however, if I didn’t point out that the Game 1s so far pretty much blew up my predictions from Tuesday & Wednesday. Luckily, Tampa was the only sweep I predicted, and if they hadn’t shit away a three-goal lead I’d still be sitting pretty.

My prognostication abilities pretty much confirm I don’t worship GAMBLOR, and that I likely deserved to finish

fourth from the bottom of the [DFO] Bracket Challenge.

SNL:

  • Live episode tonight: 11:30PM – NBC / Global
    These K-twinks are all boys.
    • Emma Stone / BTS (K-pop)

Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL: all are Game 2
    • Stars at Predators – 6:00PM | CNBC /  (Stars lead 1-0)
    • Leafs at Bruins – 8:00PM | NBC / CBC (Leafs lead 1-0)
    • Avalanche at Flames – 10:30PM | NBCSN / CBC
  • NBA:
    • Clippers at Warriors – 8:15PM | ABC / TSN4
    • Spurs at Nuggets – 10:30PM | ESPN
  • NCAA:
    • The Frozen Four championship game
      • UMASS vs. Minnesota-Duluth – 8:00PM | ESPN2 / TSN2
    • College Baseball:
      • Arkansas at Vanderbilt – 9:00PM | ESPNU
  • MLB:
    • Mets at Braves – 7:00PM | FS1
  • UFC 236: Holloway vs. Poirier 2: From Atlanta
    • Prelims – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN5
  • Formula One Racing:
    • Chinese Grand Prix – 2:00AM | ESPN2 / TSN

DON’T STAY UP TOO LATE!

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theeWeeBabySeamus

That’s a nice car.
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1
Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I’d like to get in it.

1
Unsurprised

Nice ride. The car is neat, too.

0
Fronkenshteen

I’m listening to the original Flight Of The Conchords radio show from the BBC. Murray is called Brian & there’s a narrator. Lots of old live clips of them as a four-piece band. Really funny shit. One-way phone calls and such.

2
Unsurprised

Remember Ricky Schroder from Silver Spoons (and late series NYPD Blue)? His oldest daughter is hot as balls.

1
Unsurprised

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–

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I like her landscaping.

1
Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

The Padres are 11-5 and have won 4/5 series for the first time since 1998.

I don’t know how to feel just now, so I’m having another beer.

0
yeah right

Since eldest brother right is a fan I’ve seen pretty much every Padres game and I’m here to say…
That is a fun ball club.

They’ve got an energy to them this year.

2
Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

It’s… surreal, to say the least.

1
yeah right

We should most definitely catch a game.

I can bring youngest right and wee little right!

1
Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I’m going to a game in the Reds series next week. Let me know when you guys want to go and I’ll be there!

1
theeWeeBabySeamus

Fuck You
– Orioles Fans

1
Unsurprised

That’s their standard reply to “Hello”, “How are you?”, or “Welcome to McDonald’s. May I take your order?”

2
Mr. Ayo

They’re no Mariners, but good for them.

0
Unsurprised

The movie made me more of an Aquaman fan, between the two.

0
Unsurprised

It’s not pride, but not quite the opppsite of shame? Not-shame?

1
Unsurprised

Hmm. I went out to a one of those local vendor markets and recorded a video last night of a woman giving her pitch about the CBD-infused olive oil she makes. now I have head shops following me on social media. That’s funny.

I’ve caught myself thinking I should go all in on being a little piggy and build a niche as a foodie lawyer sometimes. But given the reaction from that and other stuff I shared from last night … it’s probably a better idea than I gave it credit for when it first popped up in my head. Plus maybe free swag.

3
Fronkenshteen

Avs frustration at not scoring + the very existence of Matthew Tkachuk = potential Donnybrook

0
Unsurprised

I hope people nickname him nunchucks.

0
Fronkenshteen

He’s the archetype nhl pest. Esa Tikkanen reborn.

0
Fronkenshteen

Yo, yeah right! Making chicken stock tonight to make your green Chile chowder tomorrow. Thanks again, mate!

3
yeah right

Glad to help my brother.
The Hatch chilies really work with that recipe but you can also fire roast whatever is fresh.

Give that cornbread a go while you’re at it.
That shit was banging.

1
yeah right

And using homemade stock is hard core.
I’ll give you mad props for that.

1
Fronkenshteen

I’d like to make a living just making different stocks (vegetable, beef, chicken, Chinese, Japanese, seafood) and selling them to restaurants.

2
Unsurprised

What do you do with the rest of the parts of the Japanese?

1
yeah right

Ramen.

3
theeWeeBabySeamus

No shit, I didn’t know there were actual ramen restaurants. Last summer I found that out, in West Hollywood. And also was politely hit on by an attractive black man while being there with an attractive black woman.

It was an interesting day.

1
theeWeeBabySeamus

I was with the attractive black woman, btw. Not him.
Just clarifying.

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Like many stupid young men, I used to get upset when gay men hit on me. Then I realized that if a gay man found me attractive, I should really take it as a compliment, because by and large gay men are vastly more attractive than hetereosexual men.

1
Unsurprised

Tatsu?

0
Fronkenshteen

I’m going to. My wife is taking a cheat day from her Keto diet, so I’m going balls to the wall!

1
Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Padres call to the bullpen.
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1
yeah right

I just watched the end of season 6 Game of Thrones. The episode when Sam made it to the citadel to become a maester. When he was given access to the library and he walked among all the books ever written brought me to tears.

That’s what I want. That’s all I want. All of the books and all of the time in the world to read them.
Nirvana.

2
Mr. Ayo

Yeah, sorry. Back to the kitchen with you.

5
yeah right

I’ll show you! I’ll show…

A really bad ass recipe tomorrow morning on Sunday Gravy!

Stay tuned!

0
Mr. Ayo

Can’t wait! Nirvana!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tGc8jL4dzao

1
WCS

1994 is on the phone. They say they have some “unfortunate news.”

2
Mr. Ayo

Something about Courtney trying out a music career I assume?

3
WCS

Pretty close!

0
yeah right

Of course that came to mind but it doesn’t apply!

I have to take my glasses OFF to read.
I’m immune!

1
WCS

To be fair, you’ll be dead from radiation poisoning in four days, tops.

0
Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I didn’t read what you wrote because I’m watching it for the first time tonight. Finally fucking about to be caught up!

2
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo

I see my order has arrived. Later taters.

3
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo

Silly puppers. That’s not going to stop me.

4
Unsurprised

Remember. When they’re dead they’re just hookers.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Gotta admit, I’m curious how good or bad that bus smells.

1
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

I could watch this for an hour and laugh every time. It’s like a Roadrunner cartoon.

5
SonOfSpam

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOL IBRA REDUX!

Damn the Galaxy are en fuego in the world’s best football league!

1
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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SonOfSpam

I wuv pizza too.

2
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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SonOfSpam

GOOOOOOOOOOL IBRA!!!

It’s such a treat to watch the Galaxy playing in the best league in the world.

1
WCS

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SonOfSpam

Soccer. The Beautiful Game. But I ain’t gonna explain myself to no heathen.

1
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

Venom sure was something, though what that something was, I’m not quite sure. The only part I really cared about was the possibility of seeing Woody Harrelson ham it up in the sequel.

0
theeWeeBabySeamus

Earlier this evening, after we’d gotten 5+ inches of rain, and had flash flood warnings all day, my niece decided she wanted doughnuts. So tWBS went out and got doughnuts.

How many of those doughnuts do you think she ate? Hint: bet the under.

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Mr. Ayo

Pics?

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Of the doughnuts or the flooding?

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Mr. Ayo

Doughnuts. It’s almost dinner time here.

1
theeWeeBabySeamus

Here’s the flooding. That dock has only ever been under water three times before today. My late father and I built it in ’86. Today was the fourth time. About an hour after this photo was taken.

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Mr. Ayo

This melting iceberg assault cannot stand. Actions must be taken.

1
theeWeeBabySeamus

Let’s not get hasty!!!!!
-Titanic

2
theeWeeBabySeamus

Greyhound don’t float on water….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWgvGjAhvIw

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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SonOfSpam

It was a strike. Schwarber should get suspended for going ape shit.

1
theeWeeBabySeamus

Pro Tip: During an argument with a romantic interest, it’s a bad idea to tell her to calm down and relax her sphincter.

Trust me.

3
theeWeeBabySeamus

Different girl in this case, btw.

1
Redshirt

You’re not supposed to combined Steps 1 and 69.

3
theeWeeBabySeamus

We learn from experience.

0
theeWeeBabySeamus

Women do not like being told to calm down.
And “sphincter” is completely off the table. So to speak.

0
Mr. Ayo

Next time tell her to calm her tits.

I’ve had great results with that one.

1
theeWeeBabySeamus

That doesn’t seem better.

1
theeWeeBabySeamus

Although admittedly, I was once told to calm MY tits.
And it did make me laugh.

The girl who told me that is known here.

1
Mr. Ayo

That is hilarious. I’d put my penis in her just for that line.

0
theeWeeBabySeamus

Want me to tell you who she is?

0
Mr. Ayo

Of course.

0
theeWeeBabySeamus

You already know.

0
Col. Duke LaCross

Good to see ya getting back on the horse bro!

0
Redshirt

Okay, let’s see how the Reds lost this… Viva Los Rojas de Cincinnati!!! Four in a row!

0
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Girls, girls girls!!!!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kqNN2XJ4wmk

0
rockingdog

rocking dog. cactus.
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2
Brick Meathook

Dog: “What’s this shit around my neck?”

1
theeWeeBabySeamus

He seems very relaxed for having just won the Olympics.
Is he doping?

0
theeWeeBabySeamus

Wanna know an interesting moment in life?

When you’re in the getting to know you stages of a relationship and you discover she already owns a big bottle of Astroglide. Your brain does weird things….

Hey that’s awesome….no wait.

And yes, she’s probably reading this right now. Don’t care.

1
Brick Meathook

She has a nightstand drawer full of condoms in all sizes and styles.

And her iPad has a credit card reader.

1
theeWeeBabySeamus

Dunno about the iPad and credit card reader.
But yes on the rest. And a lot of toys, some of which I foot the bill for in Florida.

Hell, I was so excited I wanted to stick one in me.

1
Brick Meathook

I’ll never forget my friend Ron who met this beautiful girl and dated her a few times and was totally in love and telling all of us about her and how he loved her and then one night he saw her getting fucked hard in a Cinemax soft-core porno.

1
theeWeeBabySeamus

Movies are the best.

0
SonOfSpam

Weird that you’re calling BallsOfSteel “she” but ok.

0
Gratliff

I did the stupid thing and ordered parts for a new gaming PC build. Now I need something shiny to play with it that isn’t Dark Souls Clone #12. Is the Resident Evil 2 remake worthwhile?

0
SonOfSpam

I heard “The Sims 2” is pretty tight.

1
Gratliff

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SonOfSpam

WHAT A GREAT IDEA

1) Build a cheerleader obstacle course
2) ???????
3) Profit

1
theeWeeBabySeamus

I got their obstacle course…RIGHT HERE!!!

0
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

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2
theeWeeBabySeamus

NC State’s #3 ranked baseball team lost a double header today to #12 Louisville. First series they’ve lost this year. And this is not the worst thing to ever happen, don’t get me wrong.

BUT THEY FREAKING GAVE UP 14 RUNS IN BOTH GAMES.

Hallelujah, holy shit, where’s the tylenol?

0
SonOfSpam

College baseball sucks, and my opinion has nothing to do with the ranked Anteaters losing to ranked Santa Barbara yesterday and today.

1
SonOfSpam

Guess who’s about to chauffeur my wife and her friend to go see Pink in concert?

(I am. Just wanted to be clear on that. And before anyone calls me pathetic, hey, it’s better than actually attending the concert. You know…go ahead and still call me pathetic.)

2
theeWeeBabySeamus

/is happy to hang out with Pink and your wife

2
SonOfSpam

Nah, I wanna limit her exposure to lesbians.

0
theeWeeBabySeamus

Wait…you talking about Pink, or the Missus?

0
SonOfSpam

Was talking about you, you softball-playing flannel-wearing Indigo Girl.

2
theeWeeBabySeamus

LMFAO
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dI1keSSwdcI

0
Brick Meathook

Q: What has four legs and eats pussy?

A: The Indigo Girls!

5
King Hippo

just so long as she noes 1 in teh stink later smh

1
theeWeeBabySeamus

Always use the pinky.

0
theeWeeBabySeamus

Or sometimes the thumb.

0
SonOfSpam

Your girlfriend’s pi knows an infinite number of digits.

0
theeWeeBabySeamus

They don’t call me “Three Finger Brown” for nuthin’.

0
SonOfSpam

I thought it was because of that time you ran out of toilet paper.

0
theeWeeBabySeamus

Ummmmm…..I didn’t know you knew about that.

0
SonOfSpam

Remember when I sent you the “Bless This Mess” framed picture and asked you to hang it in your bathroom and you said “There better not be a camera in the frame” and I said “How silly, there’s no camera, that’s just crazy talk”?

I may have lied.

4
SonOfSpam

That would be a shock.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I don’t know what you’re talking about, there are FAR worse musical acts than Pink.

1
theeWeeBabySeamus

4.5 innings complete in Atlanta.
And everyone is bored and looking to fight.

0
SonOfSpam

Then either tell your mom to leave the room or change the channel.

7
theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehehehe….well played.

0
theeWeeBabySeamus

Q: Why do the Mets and Braves exist?
A: To distract us, even if just momentarily, from how much we hate the Red Sox and Yankees.

1
King Hippo

HeritageNAWTHate

0
Gratliff

If we didn’t have the Braves, the racists would only have Cleveland to cheer for

1
Gratliff

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King Hippo

y he has 2 hate that feller just cuz he’s White smgdh

3
Brick Meathook

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King Hippo

u done forgot ’bout the Birmingham Nigras! – Jefferson Beauregard S., Lickspittle, AL

1
Gratliff

Finally got around to Captain Marvel. Pretty good, but should have had 250% more space laser battles. My prediction of 2 hours of exposition and 10 minutes of laser hands was sadly very accurate.

3
Gratliff

And now I’m on to Venom, and apparently Tom Hardy did a different set of narcotics before every scene

3
rockingdog

nice…Padres up 2-0 early.

0
Fronkenshteen

Refs REALLY letting Boston goon it up. Gasoline, meet match.

0
rockingdog

Found a funny:

We’re going to knock the Declaration of Independence off the shelf.comment image

3
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

That is truly disturbing.

0
Fronkenshteen

Broo-ins have that Doo-Koo Kim look about them. Terrifying…

0
rockingdog

Padres playing Arizona. should be fun!

0
Fronkenshteen

Jack Tripper vs H.I. McDonough: WHO YA GOT?!

0
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

In case you missed it from very late last night, apparently I got busted jerking off on the internet:

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7
rockingdog

LOL!!!!

0
King Hippo

c’mon Brick, self-abuse just t’aint Christian ,, smh

1
theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehehehe…you said taint.

0
King Hippo

inorite?

0
Ian Scott McCormick

You are very Perverted

5
Ian Scott McCormick

Said the guy peeping dudes as they rub one out

2
King Hippo

let he who has a free hand cast the first stone

3
Mr. Ayo

I’m not paying in hopes the video is real and gets out.

4
Brick Meathook

I’m not worried about the video getting out, I want a cut of the profits because that is going to be a viral blockbuster.

2
Mr. Ayo

Just make sure there’s a [DFO] watermark on it.

2
Gratliff

The good ones are using data dumps from breaches to send them with actual emails and passwords used in the body of the email. We had a rash of them targeting students last year and you can bet your ass those kids looked like they’d seen a ghost when they were getting phished.

2
Redshirt

…and that why I have my WebCam Lens covered.

0
King Hippo

Sending teams to Japan, Mexico. Fuck off MLB, send some folks to Rwanda next year, grow a little hair on them balls.

0
King Hippo

Not trying to tell scotchy how to do his bidness, but the #BFIB manager is looking awful hobo-y today…

0
ballsofsteelandfury

Guess who has two thumbs and has to go to work at 6 AM tomorrow to take care of something that should have been done already by someone else?

/ sticks thumbs up own ass

5
King Hippo

I have to wake up at 7 because my dumb kid has work!

1
Ian Scott McCormick

Why wouldn’t they stick their thumbs up your ass?

6
King Hippo

you’re not only making Round 2, y’all gonna have homefield advantage

3
Ian Scott McCormick

The NBA won’t allow it. Expect a bunch of fishy calls for Toronto in Game 2.

2
King Hippo

That Matt Carpenter “triple” reminds me of that scorched ground ball home run I hit in Little League…

0
King Hippo

oh my, Redlegs…

0
Redshirt

Dios mio!

0
King Hippo

Redshirt ain’t kidding, the teevee camera angle es muy askew

0
Redshirt

(earlier)
P/A: And now, the National Anthem of the United States of America. (repeats in Spanish)

(eleven seconds of dead air)

“Star Spangled Banner” begins halfway into the 2nd Measure.

2
King Hippo

in fairness, all they best Mexican workers is here already

1
Redshirt

But we have no room! Trump said so himself!

0
Redshirt

Cardinals-Reds are playing in Mexico. It has the Production Quality of a Low A stadium.

2
King Hippo

VIVA el Jorts!

0
Redshirt

After listening to the Mexican National Anthem, I will never complain about the length of the American National Anthem again. But with Mexicans having to listen to “The Star Spangled Banner” a couple billion times, I think I was do for one rendition of “Himno Nacional Mexicano”. Well, twice including tomorrow’s game.

2
King Hippo

Like the name of Monterrey’s stadium (“estadio el beisbol”), you can’t say their anthem is deceptively named.

0
Redshirt

“the baseball stadium”. They’re very literal south of the border, are they?

2
Wakezilla

At the Calgary Zoo and there’s this guy who can’t get over how the animals here are real. Like, what kind of zoos has this guy been to?

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

An old roommate of mine’s boyfriend, when told they would be attending dinosaur night at the zoo, asked her excitedly if there would be real dinosaurs there.

5
King Hippo

the human race really does deserve extinction

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I just wish I could be around to see what replace us. I hope it’s something we created ourselves!

2
Redshirt

My money’s on the Dolphins if we flood the Earth or if we complete kill the Earth dead, maybe some microbes on the bottom of the ocean who can survive until the Earth can heal itself from us killing it.

1
Dunstan

Nah, they’ll still choke in the last two weeks and miss the playoffs.

4
King Hippo

sentient plastic grocery bags FTW

2
Redshirt

Family: You can’t live with them, you have the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the State and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against you; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in your favor, and to have the Assistance of Counsel for your defense.

2
Dunstan

What a coincidence, that’s what the invitations to my family’s reunion said.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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1
Wakezilla

So, anyone else load up on Jets, Lighting and Penguins like me and are instantly regretting it? I’m in trouble….

1
Horatio Cornblower

I loaded up on beer last night and have had some regrets.

2
King Hippo

headache of death, plus the all-day trots?

/I done that last weekend

0
Ian Scott McCormick

The trick is to pee 2 hours before you really wake up for good. During that time, just down a bunch of pills before you go back to bed, regardless of whether you notice you have a headache or not. Then you’re fine. Usually.

0
King Hippo

this worked until I was 35 or so…

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[loads up on white lightning]

– Jim Tomsula

1
Senor Weaselo

Never load up on the Jets!
-Signed, a Jets fan

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