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Your “Junk In The Trunk” Friday Evening Open Thread

theeWeeBabySeamus

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, , , ,

This week’s edition is especially designed for my good friend  BallsofSteelandFury .

Even though he didn’t ask for this by specific request, he’s getting it anyway.

He’s earned it.

Sort of….

But this week is all about ‘dat ass.

–

Sports Which Will Make You Feel Like An Ass 2Nite

(that might mean two things)

NHL

  • San Jose @ St. Louis (game 4, SJ up 2-1) – 8:00pmEDT – TV: NBCSN

NBA

  • Toronto @ Milwaukee (game 2, Tor up 1-0) – 8:30pmEDT – TV: TNT

MLB

Nada as far as national broadcasts.  Check your locals.

Full Schedule

–

…And I Cannot Lie

Enjoy….

Merry Christmas, indeed.

Ooooof.

Have a nice weekend everyone.

Love ya’s.

And don’t forget….

Two asses are better than one.

–

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

/willing to wreck that chick

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Unsurprised

You’ve seen her nipslip, I assume?

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Unsurprised

h

ttps://i.redd.it/tx9jbgn5e1i21.jpg

h

ttp://imgstick.pw/image/NUghg

h

ttps://imgur.com/a/GVzs3iS

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I just want her to cook dinner and leave me the fuck alone.

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Unsurprised

I respect that.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Naked.

*If bacon can wear apron.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Disturbing.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yeah, I also whacked to it.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

And half off maple donuts! It’s a shame Timmy’s went to Hell after the Burger King takeover.

https://twitter.com/ComedyCentral/status/1129438702248316930

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

She seems nice.

1
theeWeeBabySeamus

Also, that reminds me. I need to shave my balls.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

I’m not sure who this is, but she seems nice.

https://streamable.com/a6rp3

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Mr. Ayo

Isn’t that Trish Stratus?

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Unsurprised

I don’t follow cricket, sir.

1
Unsurprised

Whoever does the Saturday morning lesser footie might want to use this tomorrow.

Spoiler
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Unsurprised

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Don T

Those pics sharpened my gulping skills.

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Unsurprised

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Cheese?

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Welp, I just pulled a Brick Meathook. Anybody got any talcum powder?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Do the dog butt crawl on some wet grass.

Works for me.

3
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The rest of the people in the park don’t seem to enjoy it, though.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I once tried to pull a Brick Meathook….but he wouldn’t let me.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

No means yes in this case.

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Brick Meathook

What, did you get you balls waxed?

2
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Yup. With Lacey, too. Does that make us Eskimo Skin Brothers?

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Brick Meathook

Hahaha you are sooooo L.A. now! Go get a vegan burger.

1
Unsurprised

Quick and dirty, like …

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Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I get bored at work and a co-worker and I come up with deranged parody songs. Tonight, Billy Ocean’s “Caribbean Queen” got the treatment.

Aryan Queen
Now she’s sharing alt-right memes
Non-white crime stats just for fun
And the stuff the Jews run

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litre_cola

This topic I can get behind. Huzzah twbs.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

LOL

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Are you in VA yet? If not you better hustle. I’ll be leaving first thing in the morning if my dryer doesn’t die.

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WCS

It’s actually in Maryland, and no. We’re about to leave. Steph had to work.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Holy shit, it is in Maryland. I thought it was on the other side of the river.
Anywhooo….I’ll check in with you in the morning.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Gaylord….lol.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

So, about four minutes until SJ pulls their goaltender and makes this worse?

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Mr. Ayo

Even sooner apparently.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Gotta give ’em credit for not giving up the empty net.

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Unsurprised

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rockingdog

so can the raptors make a run?

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Sharkbait

Sup bitches

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Unsurprised

Erections.
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theeWeeBabySeamus

The Baltimore Orioles were victorious tonight. 5-1 on the road in Cleveland and are now a whopping 15-29.
Fuck….it was in Cleveland.
GODDAMMIT MOTHERFUCKER SHITSTAIN ASSHOLES.

1
Sharkbait

Can we get an infinite orioles post?

2
theeWeeBabySeamus

There will a BoTG next week. If I have to sit and watch the Yankees beat the shit out of ’em, and I have to pay for it (already have, actually)….you’re all gonna hear about it.

2
SonOfSpam

Is there still a Boog’s BBQ and will you eat some BBQ and write about BBQ?

I’m hungry.

4
theeWeeBabySeamus

As far as I know there is. But no I will not.
Having dinner with a friend at the Inner Harbor pre-game.

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SonOfSpam

Ah, so crabs then.

Get some medicine for those, and enjoy your dinner!

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theeWeeBabySeamus

This ointment stings.

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Sharkbait

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Honestly, through 44 games I didn’t think they’d win 10.

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SonOfSpam

Edelman is a Jeopardy answer tonight. I hate this timeline.

1
King Hippo

a commentist would have blurted out JEWKAH!

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SonOfSpam

“Our judges have good news for Hippo – they have determined “Jewkah” is an acceptable alternative for Welker, and $1200 has been added to his score. But please stop ringing in to ask whether anyone has leftover Darvocets.”

7
ballsofsteelandfury

Jägermeister is the official shot of the NHL.

Let that sink in for a bit…

1
SonOfSpam

They’re trying to get that coveted 18-29 Douchenozzle market.

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SonOfSpam

Evening gents. The Anchor variety pack has some quality brews in it. And now they’re in me. Mostly orally.

4
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

See I told you having that colostomy wasn’t going to be all bad.

2
SonOfSpam

Yeah, the doc said it was his first voluntary one, but I feel kinda like a trendsetter.

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Goddamn, I haven’t seen raptors get destroyed this badly since the Chicxulub meteor.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Well, at least it took 65 Million years.

2
theeWeeBabySeamus

Laundry successfully has begun.

I suck less now.

1
theeWeeBabySeamus

Now in the dryer with suitcase sitting next to it.
I’m getting better.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh NO! Tiger missed the cut!

/fuck Tiger

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Mr. Ayo

Is Tiger back?

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Unsurprised

— Word around The Bunny Ranch

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herodotus450

“Eh, we’ll cut it again pretty soon anyway, he’ll be here for that.”
-Unscrupulous drug dealer

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ballsofsteelandfury

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha HA ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Fuck that asshole.

2
SonOfSpam

– James Deen’s director, pointing randomly

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ballsofsteelandfury

Awwww, I don’t know what to say! THANK YOU!!

4
theeWeeBabySeamus

Just go jerk off and get it over with…?

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SonOfSpam

– Kellen Winslow’s personal shopper

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Brick Meathook

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I want to photoshop Trump’s disgusting chin-butt onto the cover of that magazine.
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Unsurprised

This?

Spoiler
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yep.

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Unsurprised

Cool. I’ll give it a try.

1
Unsurprised

Gotta run.
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Mr. Ayo

Speaking of ass, the Orioles everyone!

The Orioles are bad at baseball, a breakdown pic.twitter.com/FVWhzfA0p9

— Jomboy (@Jomboy_) May 17, 2019

https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

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King Hippo

I am very much rooting for them to hit the negative team WAR goal

2
theeWeeBabySeamus

Grumble grumble….

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Mr. Ayo

Cheer up! You paid good money to watch history being made!

3
theeWeeBabySeamus

You are not wrong. I will never forgive former tWLS for convincing me to buy these tickets.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Could be worse….could be Miami.

1
King Hippo

we need a barnstorming team made of MIA’s hitters and BAL’s pitchers

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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Unsurprised

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Blues get the PP netter. Maybe the Sharks are in more trouble than I thought.
We can always hope.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m supposed to be leaving at dawn tomorrow and driving north. I have not yet done laundry. Or packed, obviously.

I suck.

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Unsurprised

I have a gif for that.

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Unsurprised

Part 2
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theeWeeBabySeamus

If she were around here, I might never leave again.

1
Unsurprised

She’s crazier than tWLS.

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Unsurprised

So you wouldn’t leave, all right. Just like James Caan wouldn’t leave Cathy Bates’s house in Misery.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Spoken like someone who has never met the former tWLS.

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Unsurprised

Protect your buns
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King Hippo

#BFIB losing 4-nil to the fucking asslicking Rangers – with our best SP on the hill

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herodotus450

The winning team in a playoff series should get to steal one player from the team they just beat. Sharks with Binnington might have a chance against Bostone.

1
theeWeeBabySeamus

Sharks gon’ take the cup anyway.

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herodotus450

I might even allow them to take a long-time-gone-Blue Chris Pronger, who’s probably still under contract for Arizona, on the condition that he kamikazes Marchand.

1
Dunstan

At which point, Player Safety would say, “well, you know, he hasn’t been suspended in years, so his record is pretty clean. $1000 fine.”

2
Unsurprised

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Unsurprised

I’ve gotten used to videos of models accompanied by pop songs because my brother is an artiste, dammit!

I told him he and Brick would probably get along nerding out about cameras and mechanical toys. So he may come along to the pub crawl even though he doesn’t drink. Or something. IDK. I’ll be in L.A. for a week.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ScC_pi3PJ9k

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Unsurprised

Por ejemplo:
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Unsurprised

It’s a shame this is the only SFW part of the video I made these from. Her name is Daisy Stone if you’re so inclined to hit up a streaming site later.
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King Hippo

Thomas Jefferson? Teh Original Ass Man!

3
Unsurprised

Oh, right. Because Socrates only practiced frottage.

2
King Hippo

hey now, Unspeakable Vice is next week’s theme ,, smh

1
Don T

?

1
Unsurprised

Special Delivery for Balls
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ballsofsteelandfury

¡Muchas gracias!

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Unsurprised

The Senor Weaselo Special
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

If a girl…has a pierced tongue…

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

If a guy…has a pierced tongue…

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Unsurprised

I wanna be a cowboy
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Unsurprised

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Unsurprised

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King Hippo

That’s FOAR ME! Hippo likes being able to count up the ribs, yo.

1
Unsurprised

So does Andy Reid

4
theeWeeBabySeamus

LOL. That was good.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Stood next to her at a concert one time. She wasn’t particularly friendly. She was definitely gorgeous, though.

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King Hippo

hey if any of US looked like that, we wouldn’t be friendly neither

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