City Chase Domestic Treble (and Other Lesser Events)

King Hippo

King Hippo

Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan.Also a proud fookin’ Evertonian.Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child.[Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
King Hippo

Man City aren’t going to go an unprecedented 4-for-4, thanks to some dodgy VAR decisions in their Champions League quarterfinal with Spurs.  But fuck it, they were being stretched depth-wise as is, and it was MOAR important that they keep the fucking Shite from winning the Prem for the first time in ever.

But with that Prem title, along with the League Cup – all that stands between their matching the 1998-99 Man United squad is the FA Cup finale against the Moose Hornets (noon, ESPN+).  Fuck me, I’d be pissed off not being able to watch, but my crippling #HAILGAMBLOR addiction means I already had ESPN+ subscription in hand.

Much like Spurs in Champions League, Watford have to feel sommet like a side of destiny.  They had absolutely no business crawling out of a late 2-0 deficit to Wolves – but they did.  And they have a “create magic out of nothing” player in former Barca academy/Everton winger Gerard Deulofeu.  Fucking Moose Hornet supporters even stole Everton’s song for him:

He’s magic, don’tcha know?

GE-RARD Deulofeu!

I mean, fuck’s sake, I still remember how to spell his name right.  Prissy Dutchman Ronald Koeman couldn’t stand him, so off he went.  Only now do the Toffees have anything like promising play from their wingers.  Still would be nice to have around.  Plus, I always wanted to try him at centre forward.  But that’s off on a tangent.  The key is – watch #7.  It will be 9 grafters and him on the pitch, and it isn’t COMPLETELY out of the question that he doesn’t come on until the second half.  I think that’s suicide against a foe the calibre of City, but YMMV.

One doubts that scotchy favourite Kevin the Broom will be available, but otherwise City should have a full-strength side at its disposal.  I would look for them to try hard for a quick early goal, and break Watford’s spirit.

Can an upset be completely ruled out?  Not at all.  I put $13.13 on Watford to win in normal time (+1100-ish), but I am pulling for City.  Primarily because it pisses United and Liverpool supporters off.

Beyond that…you have stuff to gamble on.  Three medium-crap Serie A matches, starting with SPAL/Udinese (9:00, ESPN+), ending with Roma away to Phil Collins song Su-su-suddio (2:30, ESPN+).  Genoa v. Cagney and Lacey are the lone teevee option (noon, ESPN News).

All of the Bundesliga matches are on at 9:30, via various Fox/FoxSports platforms.  Obvs, everyone will have eyes on Bayern/Eintracht and the Bo-Russia Derby.  Should Bayern lose and Dortmund win, the latter would pip the title.  That…is less likely than a Moose Hornet trophy celebration.  But Kraut Footy is generally pretty entertaining.  Deffo my 2nd most interesting League, even if I ain’t bet it much.

Similarly, all the Froggie games kick off at 3p, with nothing really at stake.  I did bet on Caen and Amiens, because they are relegation threatened, the odds were large, and I just fucking have issues, ok?

MOAR Eye-ties on Sunday, culminating with the big Atalanta/Juve match (2:30, ESPN+).  Also at home, the Lesser Falcons kinda eviscerated the Old Lady in the Coppa quarters, so perhaps revenge is in order.  Also, Atalanta had heartbreak mid-week in the Coppa final, so I am expecting them to come out flat.  Bet Juve to win first half, there’s your value.

Our Young Boys have the weekend off, for shopping, pillow fights, etc.

King Hippo
King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Spoiler
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m not sure I have the means to spoil them all (or even one) but I’d sure try.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Kind of crazy that watching a girl with a wonderfully toned ass bending over would serve as nightmare fuel, but here we are.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Feels bad, man

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

One person’s nightmare* is another person’s opportunity*.

*Fetish

Horatio Cornblower

My wife threw a party for my 50th last night, (and even invited me!), and no one listened to the ‘no gifts’ part of the invitation and now I have, quite literally, no more room in the downstairs beer fridge.

What I’m saying is, who needs a beer?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Yo

Horatio Cornblower

/Pours beer into keyboard.

Well, fuck.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Figures

SonOfSpam

Happy 50th and welcome to the club (I been a member for a few weeks). And e-mail me an IPA or whatever.

Don T

I’ll send over a box and bubble wrap for shipping to me. Put PRINTED MATTER ONLY with a Sharpie, so ya save a coupla bucks on shipping.

Don T

And happy birthday woooo! 🎉

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You damn young-ass millenians!!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Also; we all fell you deep sorrow and pain of having a completely full beer fridge.

*Glad you accomplished your Machiavellian ambitions.

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scotchnaut

The bathtub and The Feral Detective beckons. See ya later!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Crazy, I have the exact same plans except replace that R with a C.

Horatio Cornblower

Congratulations on your DIY colonoscopy.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh, no, it’s not a DIY project. The guy’s a real professional; he’s got a badge and everything.

Horatio Cornblower

Don’t let him inspect your wallet.
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

No, not a problem. Wallet inspector was here last week and says there’s been a mixup with my paperwork; he won’t be able to release it from evidence until the last week of May.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Having a beer and watching golf with WCS in southern Maryland…..shit. asshole changexd TV to baseball.

scotchnaut

“Changed a TV into a baseball? Whatever. Can he bang Latino chicks after showing them a simple card trick?”

-David Blaine

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

WCS, give him a good slug in the arm for us.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I plan to punch the shit out of him.
Oh wait, you meant me.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Dirt Steelers vs. Dirt BOLTMEN just got even more interesting.

scotchnaut

Plot Twist!

Amy Wombat is not a marsupial!

scotchnaut

A Thing You Didn’t Know:

Canadian soccer player Christine Sinclair will end her career as the greatest scorer of all time. She is only 4 scores behind Amy Wombat for the record.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

As an aspiring international scorer myself, each of these women is an inspiration to me.

scotchnaut

[Does his homework on Sinclair]

[Realizes he won’t be scoring on her, ever]

-RTD

Wakezilla

Don’t jinx her!

scotchnaut

THE BROOM WITH THE SCORE!

scotchnaut

Kevin The Broom Sighting!

scotchnaut

It’d be cool if Watford scored but I just don’t think it’s possible.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

The best thing about the new God of War is that they decided to give the game a soul. Which is perfect, because this is after you have COMPLETELY destroyed Greece and countless of the Spanoi lineage.

scotchnaut

Watford barely hanging on-brought to you by North By Northwest.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Clouds! Clouds in Los Angeles! Batten down the hatches!

/but seriously, it rained last week and it might rain AGAIN tomorrow.

scotchnaut

This guy disagrees with you, then waffles, then becomes the first fella to rhyme ‘California’ with ‘warn ya’.

yeah right

I’m vacillating between cooking techniques for tomorrow. I want to grill this recipe but I’m processing the idea that I may have to cook indoors because of rain.

Think I can figure it out.

/ Shakes fist at sky

SonOfSpam

Do you have any videos of yourself vacillating?

scotchnaut

THERE IT IS! 1-0! Silva is golden.

scotchnaut

Hippo, the praise for manager Pepe last week seemed to me to be over the top but his record over the last 2 years is impressive. Has he really re-defined the expectations of how players train and play? Has he caught lightning in a bottle? Is he the lucky recipient of a gifted set of players? I must know!

scotchnaut

Speaking of Maclean and Maclean, this tune really spoke to me back in the early 80’s. They’re big and soft and round and they don’t make a sound!

scotchnaut

Key to Watford’s chances? Take avantage of open windows and shutting down Laporte. Here, I’ll let The Canada’s Maclean and Maclean explain.

litre_cola

Fermez la porte if you will?

scotchnaut

What would the FA Cup pre-game intro be without “The Parade of The Old Rich White Wankers”?

scotchnaut

It’s overcast in Munich and in northern Ontario! What are the odds of that happening? Seriously Hippo, what are the odds?

scotchnaut

Fans of Frankfurt aren’t that disappointed about the 5-1 loss because, even though it’s metaphorical, they were able to watch a shit show.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Seat 7A, row 35, Section 112….. no longer metaphorical ….. it’s all too bratwurst.

scotchnaut

Serious question: Does Bratwurst play in one of the lower Bundesligas?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

Hey, I’ve got an idea! Let’s get drunk because we got a workout, groceries and a haircut out of the way and also some reading*. Also because life is very close to meaningless and I’m fucking bored.

*It’s The Feral Detective, which takes place a few days before Trump takes office. The best bit of dialogue (so far) is uttered by the female protagonist who, while allowing herself to be seduced by a man, whispers in his ear, “Who did you vote for? No, no, don’t tell me.” [proceeds to have first orgasm since the November election] Yeah, it’s a wee bit of an oddball booky-book.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You’ll get no objection from me, Audrey. Just tell me what you need me to do.

litre_cola

What a shit goal bit I will take it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Shit Goal Bit was a good band.

scotchnaut

They had a good run. And their cover of ‘Porcelain’ moby their best song.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, they WERE German-Mexican.

litre_cola

Dortmund has 1 job plus hope. They have neither.

ballsofsteelandfury

One of these days, I’ll get you to like La Liga. Last week of games and there are still one relegation spot and a couple of European spots to be decided.

litre_cola

Survived Day 1 sans Mrs Cola. Spawn woke up at 4 am, doable, Al Classico today up here and the weather is garbage.
Info regarding the game up here and the supporters groups.

http://www.totalsoccerproject.com/2019/03/the-story-of-al-classico-the-canadian-premier-leagues-original-rivalry-created-by-fans/