Your “Not Much Goin’ On” Monday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL Nuggets:

  • “Pundits” are already hopping on-board the “Audible” question in Green Bay.
    • Matt LaFleur likes a structured offence.
    • Aaron Rodgers like the freedom to change plays at the line.
    • HOW WILL THEY EXIST?!!11?! All they do is talk!
  • Peyton Manning was inducted into the Tennessee Sports Hall of Fame on Saturday night.
    • Not invited: Jamie Naughright.
    • At the same free meal, Titans controlling owner Amy Adams Strunk also was honored as the 2019 Tennessean of the Year, for her contributions to the community and not even thinking about relocating the team no sirree bob.
To be careful, they kept Kara Lawson out of his reach.
  • Haunted no more: Josh McCown has retired after 16 seasons with 10 NFL & one UFL team.
    • He has left the Jets active roster and joined ESPN as an analyst for “NFL Live”.
      • Also a reason: The Jets signed Trevor Siemian as Sam Darnold’s backup.
        • When Adam Gase replaces you with a dick joke, that’s a clear sign it’s time to go.
    • However, expect his name to come up once a more talented white QB gets hurt & teams once again go to great lengths to avoid Colin Kaepernick.

Tonight’s sports:

  • MLB:
    • Angels at Blue Jays – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
    • Giants at Dodgers – 10:00PM | ESPN / TSN
  • Futbol:
    • Gold Cup Soccer 2019:
      • Curacao vs. El Salvador – 7:00PM | FS1 / TSN2
      • Jamaica vs. Honduras – 9:30PM | FS1 / TSN2
  • College World Series:
    • Game 6: Michigan vs. Florida State – 7:00PM | ESPN
  • WWE:
    • Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360

One month from today is when the Broncos report for training camp, due to their participation in the Hall of Fame Game. The waiting is almost over.

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Brick MeathookBuddy Cole's Halftime Show!BrettFavresColonoscopyUnsurprisedALXMAC Recent comment authors
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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!

Well I got suspended from Twitter. Oh dicks.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Shit, I’m drunk

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!
ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!

I remember first hearing of Brain Candy after seeing Roger Ebert savage it in his review many years after it came out. Weirdly enough on their TV show, Gene Siskel loved it.

https://youtu.be/dheOm5JgwzM

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Norm is a gambling addict (or may as well be), and this is just the ultimate bet.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

In a sworn deposition this week, O.J. Simpson claimed that he never beat, choked, or hit his ex-wife with a closed or open fist. Luckily for O.J., lawyers forgot to ask if he had ever cut her head off.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

You should watch this video. It will change your life:

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

blaxabbath

Is Josh McCown better than Ryan Fitzpatrick?

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Better than Jason Garrett?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Maybe.
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blaxabbath

The McCown piece is great!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Four pitch leadoff walk.
WTG Orioles.

theeWeeBabySeamus

theeWeeBabySeamus

Nice pitch, locked him up with an off speed breaking ball. that was pretty.
But still losing.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I’m gonna assume that every animal in this household is a prima donna.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

THWACK!
“What the . . . oh you bitch!”
“No, you’re the bitch. And that shirt is awful.

theeWeeBabySeamus

See this is what bugs me about Chris Davis. They have him shifted and are pitching him down and away. But he’s not smart enough to just poke out and go the other way and get the RBI, maybe two.

Stupid fucker.

theeWeeBabySeamus

And now he looks at strike three right down the middle.
Please someone kill this man.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehehe, HP umpire caught one in the throat.
Coulda been worse, coulda been the nuts.

Senor Weaselo

Is it Angel Hernandez? If so he got off lightly.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Chris Davis vs Khris Davis?
Why do I find this funny?

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I hope it was Bill Welke, Joe West or Angel Hernandez.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Meant to go the above comment, but the point stands.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yup no worries. Orioles down one but looking competent thru 7. But two more innings yet to come.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Well as long as they don’t look competent to start next week…

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

You should watch this video. It will change your life:

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

So over the weekend, one of my childhood friends moved to Boulder for a new job in aerospace. Another friend is in-between Geology gigs and decided to ride out with him and help. They loaded up a 2 wheel trailer and towed it out over the weekend.

So my Geologist friend called me earlier to complain about how much stuff the other guy has and then proceeds to tell me they got there and that the trailer had a flat tire that was completely shredded down to the metal.

“Jesus! Glad you guys are okay, no one else got hurt and you didn’t lose all his shit! How long do you think you were driving on it?”

“Well there was a truck in front of us that hit a bump or something and lost the ladder on the back and we went right over it and never noticed anything.”

“Uh huh. But where was that?”

“Outside of Barstow.”

“BARSTOW?!?! YOU FUCKING IDIOTS ARE LUCKY TO BE ALIVE!”

My “smart” friends are so fucking dumb. Jesus Christ…

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I want to give Rob pernts for this excellent nuggets intro. Bitter, dripping with sarcasm and 100% calling out the horseshit.
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Wakezilla

The women’s World Cup should just expand to 32 teams and call it a day.

Due to its formatting, France will face the Americas in the quarterfinals. That’s basically the tournament finals, given away at the quarters. Ridiculous

herodotus450
herodotus450

Expand? Did you see USA-Thailand? They might as well let the DFO Crossdressers Team in if they’re going to expand.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

But we would be much funnier

litre_cola

I have a mean right foot.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Weirdest masturbation comment ever.

King Hippo

Jamaica v. Honduras. The certain winner is dire poverty.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

What a fucking day. So to get onto a US port, you need to have a TWIC card.

You have to wand in and out. All last week, no problems. This? I cannot get the fucking thing to work for shit. On top of this, the port would not allow me to keep my gear on site. So the entire weekend I had a rental car filled with about $300k worth of equipment.

The overhead protector didn’t work. For two hours, I had an IT guy just fuck around until they gave up and gave me a random portable project. So I have a fucking projector, but no fucking screen because I can’t lower the screen because of their IT problems.

Then towards the end of the day, I find out they double booked the room…so I have to show up early and move all the fucking shit over to one classroom…and the very next day afterward, move everything back. This is 12 laptops, 14 simulators, and a shit load of books.

The guys I am giving training to are coming off of a night shift rotation week. So basically no one can stay awake for longer than about four hours before it hits them and they start nodding off.

I am ready to just get the fuck out of here…but I cant leave util Saturday.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Wakezilla

Subway’s Jared is going to have a bunk buddy soon, maybe…

“Court documents stated that the Sandy Hook lawyers had begun reviewing the electronic files that Alex Jones had turned over when they found child pornography in the files. They immediately contacted the FBI.”

King Hippo

You can’t send somebody kiddie porn without illegally possessing it. Perhaps he didn’t think this owning teh libs all the way through?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

How do you not bother to do even a cursory doc review before turning anything over to opposing counsel?

blaxabbath

Not Much Going On: A Mike McCoy Approach to Offense

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Also: a description of Vince Young’s wardrobe choices when headed to the Cheesecake Factory

King Hippo

Marp just hit hisself a bunt double

King Hippo

and scored on a pop up to Starlin Castro (that he hilariously dropped)

theeWeeBabySeamus

scotchnaut

You tried. There is no better Weakerthans tune than “Sun In An Empty Room”.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Fuck Winnipeg
(this is meant lovingly)

litre_cola

The correct answer for Winnipeg bands is Propagandhi.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I now have their discography, thanks to a certain soda named Commentist.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Seeing Winnipeg mentioned brought this tune to mind.

King Hippo

This is my overall favourite song that I had never heard prior to Pandora

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Virtute The Cat Explains Her Departure fucking wrecks me. For real. Turns me into a blubbering mess. My throat is swelling up just thinking about it.

King Hippo

yeah, I think you mentioned before – I couldn’t even finish it

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Honestly, you’re better off.

King Hippo

Nothing, and I do mean NOTHING, makes me sadder than when a kitty dies.

scotchnaut

I hate to say it, but Green Day, out of Failure Town, are one of the worst acts to ever reach the charts. MAGA town produces some good stuff but Green Day is not one of them.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Sure, you would have to choose that one which I cannot defend.

theeWeeBabySeamus

theeWeeBabySeamus

I hate to say it, but Crash Test Dummies, out of Winnipeg, are one of the worst acts to ever reach the charts.
Canadia produces some good stuff. CTD is not one of them….

SonOfSpam

Dude.

(That is the correct opinion)

theeWeeBabySeamus

They popped up on my youtube autoplay thingy and I had to run up the stairs to cut it off.
Now I’m tired.
Jerks.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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theeWeeBabySeamus

The upstairs A/C seems to have blown out today. When I got home it was running like a sumbitch, but it was 81 degrees up here while set to 72.

Who has two thumbs and will probably be sleeping downstairs on the couch tonight? And will then spend thousands on a new A/C for the upstairs?

I hate sweating when I’m not actually doing something.

Time for Jeopardy on DVR.

King Hippo

4-nil, yeah, this was gonna be a close and competitive match, Stupid Hippo

King Hippo

meh, it was time to change stream to #BFIB anyway

/many curses upon your ancestors, Blue Samauri

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Two Lyft drivers have canceled on me in the last 10 minutes. Yargh

King Hippo

be Uncle Leo and infer anti-Semetism

scotchnaut

I’m reporting this transgression directly to Jenny Warnes and Joe Cocker. They made a fucking promise!

Wakezilla

Remember when I asked youse to clarify what the fuck my English teacher meant with the essay question “Discuss the representation of violence?”

Well, I got my grade for it. First, her komment:

“I am impressed with your original approach to this topic and your detailed engagement with the text. Despite some organizational issues*, the essay is still excellent and critically engaging.”

*My intro was too short as my previous essay was deemed too long despite being my thesis and discussion points.

That sounds like I fucking killed it, right? That’s some high praise. .

She gave me 80%.

Fuck.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Still managing 80% despite organizational issues? Mike Brown’s jealousy boner could get us to space.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

This is racism.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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scotchnaut

You walk today?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I just got home.

theeWeeBabySeamus

They’re just joshing you.

SonOfSpam

Guys, I don’t think Edwin Jackson has it tonight.

Unless “it” is “pitching herpes”

Senor Weaselo

They’ll just trade him to one of the teams he hasn’t played for. So, one of like three teams.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

No more helicopter rides.

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SonOfSpam

Nat Moore is unimpressed.
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scotchnaut

[lays supine on Golden Corral table, asks waitress to place chicken wing on upper lip]

“Have anyone ever tried a ‘mustache ride’?” [giggles]

-Andy Reid

scotchnaut

Seriously, are all the fans sitting up in the third tier of the stadium? Move them down to the first tier so that the tourney staff can pretend the game was sold out. This isn’t marketing science.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

That would be intelligent.

King Hippo

I wonder if showing up to attend Curacao v. El Salvador would count as community service?

scotchnaut

I’m quite sure that fans of Curacao will end up feeling blue.*

*bartender joke

litre_cola

BLUE THIS MAN!!!!!!

SonOfSpam

– Karen Pence, when asked what her husband did to make her so very angry.

King Hippo

should they score an own goal, their fans can post “I just blue myself” Tobias Funke memes

litre_cola

Question is did you gamble on it?

King Hippo

even I couldn’t squint and see an angle

Wakezilla

Now all I want is to watch Curacaõ play Los Vino Tintos because then everyone would win on the account of being drunk

King Hippo

Have a bit of moneys on Blue Samaurai, because of value. I had this as a relatively even matchup, but I got +210 on Japan to win or draw, and +733 on an outright win.

scotchnaut

/watching Japan/Chile

Man, those thousands upon thousands of empty seats are making a shit-ton of crowd noise!

King Hippo

ah mean, it’s not like Japanese bidnessmen are the type of folk to leave work early on a Monday to attend ,, smh

King Hippo

Japan looks hungry and fast. Chile look old and slow.

scotchnaut

If Chile just takes its time and let’s all of its various ingredients come together slowly, I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised at the end result.

King Hippo

I also wonder whether United supporters made the trip to Brasil, just to shout abuse at Alexis Sanchez.

King Hippo

NEW RULE – they should do away with the Gold Cup, reserve 6 slots in the South American Euros for North and Central American sides, have a nice 16-side torneo.

There are…nowhere near enough legitimate footy playing nations north of the Canal Zone for a separate thingy.

litre_cola

Yes, and of course Rand McNally

King Hippo

South American Euros, y’all!