Your “Extremely Abbreviated” Friday Evening Open Thread

Fair warning:  You’re not getting much out of me tonight.

We’ve been dealing with hurricane stuff around here.

I drove down in the middle of it overnight last night to get a friend’s daughter to safety.

(I know what you’re thinking)

((don’t say it please))

In today’s version of “That was unexpected”….

Both the former tWLS and Asia reached out to me to find out if the hurricane had killt me.  Now granted, I don’t know for sure which answer they would have preferred.  But it was nice to know they were thinking of me, even if they just wanted me ded.

But sorry girls, it ain’t got me yet.

(I am totally joking, both seemed very concerned and were very nice)

Then after Dave and myself went driving through a hurricane last night, I came home and slept a lot.  Then woke up 15 minutes ago and realized I still had to write some stupid shit for you asshats.  So, here we go.

Sports To Blow You Away 2Nite

Tennis

  • 2019 US Open: Men’s Semis (hehehe) – All night but no idea who is playing – TV: ESPN

MLB

  • NYY @ Boston – 7:00pmEDT – TV: MLBN (regional split)
  • Toronto @ Tampa Bay – 7:00pmEDT – TV: MLBN (regional split)

NCAA Football

  • Wake Forest @ Rice – 8:00pmEDT – TV:CBSSN
  • Marshall @ Boise State – 9:00pmEDT – TV: ESPN2

Orrrrrr….you can watch a rerun of last night’s Packers/Bears game on NFLN

(to each his own)

Evacuation: You’re doing it wrong.

OK, Let’s Blow Through Some Cheerleaders (so to speak)

Last week we did college girls.  Hehehehe

This week, it’s the pros.

Enjoy….

 

 

And still, for three years now, still the best NFL Cheerleader in EVAR!!!!!!!!

(yes we like her)

She’s Yummy.  And if you disagree, I’ll fight ya.

(After I wake up)

Have a nice weekend everyone.

Love ya’s.

0 0 votes
Article Rating
theeWeeBabySeamus
An unapologetic, even if often manic-depressive (it's a requirement given his choices of sports teams), fan of NC State University, the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Orioles. When not parked in front of the computer and/or TV, can often be found on the golf course shouting obscenities to no one in particular.
Subscribe
Notify of
264 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Spur

comment image

scotchnaut

Found another Rapid Heart Production. If the VP eats all the broccoli, Mother will let him watch.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=guq25CztBfQ&list=PLJ1Mrzf9eYgnedEj8C9-ZZZNaySVPqOPs&index=5

herodotus450

“Where’d my clothes go?”
I’m in.

Horatio Cornblower

I’ve never seen that much homoeroticism in my life, and my last vacation was 4 nights in B&B two doors down from a gay hotel/bar in Key West.

scotchnaut

I’d heard that you loved the closets down in Key West…

Horatio Cornblower

Nah, I stay out of the closets down there.

Wait, what?

Spur

Dallas Cowboys developmental team scores at last

Brick Meathook

Here’s a piston-engined flying wing and a lesbian smut phonograph record:

comment image
comment image

Spur

comment image

herodotus450

(Boise St. scores a touchdown)
Marshall: “Hey wait, you have black guys on your team too?”

herodotus450

Oh, it was called back.

Mr. Ayo

BLEE’RGH power > Black power

King Hippo

GAMBLOR approves!

scotchnaut

I’m so brain addled that I forgot I have 5 specialty channels for NCAA football. Btw, blue field is blue and Marshall #1 dude has breakaway speed.

Dunstan

Drinking a cocktail called the “D.B. Cooper.” A couple of more and I’ll be ready to jump out of a plane.

herodotus450

comment image

Dunstan

Because OF COURSE Eric Roberts was involved.

herodotus450
scotchnaut

Whoa. I had no idea this movie was a Rapid Heart Production.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PNiurQPnodo

Spur

comment image

scotchnaut

These poor women that forget what their asses look like. My heart goes out to them…

scotchnaut

If memory serves, her name is Emily Statefarm-Isthere.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So they just ran an IBM “AI highlights” sequence and my only question is whether or not the computer picked its own music.

Unsurprised

Did it play Oingo Boingo?

scotchnaut

The only 360 review I get is all the chicks in the office eyeballing me as I walk by.

/#uptopbro!

King Hippo

#BFIB winning. Bastard Man Small Bears losing. Is right.

herodotus450

360 eh? Doesn’t that just put you right back where you started?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Could you imagine the hijinks that would ensue if Boise was pronounced the same as “poise” and Jerry Sandusky found out that there was a job opening there?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

GO TO KROGER!

King Hippo

Harris Teeter bought up all our Krogers. Irritated the fuck out of me.

Mr. Ayo

I, for one, need an explanation.

Dunstan

Is “teeter” some Marylander slang for “text women who will break my heart”?

Mr. Ayo

Ah, that does make it mildly funny.

ArmedandHammered

Actually, it was the other way round, then they realized people spend more at HT and decided to close the Krogers.

King Hippo

no shit? Just like The Pantry/Kangaroo with Circle K, then

herodotus450

They just referenced Dez Bryant; remember Dez Bryant?

King Hippo

even Pepperidge Farm be all like WHO??

scotchnaut

The dude that did sit-ups in his driveway? I’ll never forget him.

herodotus450

Well the good news is that this tennis match, if it’s worth watching, will still be going by the time this Boise St. game is over.

Spur

Marshall players talk a lot of shit after the plays are over

Unsurprised

Eminem University?

Unsurprised

I’m sure this is sexy to some.
comment image

Unsurprised

comment image
comment image
comment image
comment image

Dunstan

I’m not surprised to see Women’s Health publish this. She is a healthy-looking woman.

Unsurprised

Wow. Ana de Armas. Everybody loves a good, hot Cuban.

Dunstan

Now I want a sandwich.

JustStopDude

I was drinking with my coworker and his parents just now and she said something about the brides groom. I let slip a Spanish curse word for him.

Mom and dad start rattling off Spanish to me. I’m a history nut. I’ve been learning about Cold War Era polish politics and government in Spanish.

Somehow we slip to religion. They thought I was Protestant like the bride’s family and I cussed in Latin. I said something insulting of Sola Fide.

So the conversation switch to religion history and the role of faith in the modern world using arguments involving classical Latin.

Nine hours ago the bride’s dad kept talking about golf and her mom was stoned to the tits on wine and xanex. I mean to the point I was afraid she would choke on her own vomit.

I think I live a strange life.

Unsurprised

I was afraid she would choke on her own vomit

The weekend has only just begun.

Dunstan

Weddings where you don’t know most of the attendees are either the best or the worst. Sometimes it’s just dull and you sit there killing time until it’s acceptable to duck out, and other times you’re tossing back shots with the groom’s uncle and hitting shamelessly on bridesmaids because you’ll never see any of these people again.

Or…. that could be just me.

scotchnaut

That was you. I had to tell you three times that I had a boyfriend!

Dunstan

I’ll tell you now what I told you then: “it’s okay, I don’t mind.”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I think I live a strange life.

It’s clear that you do and I find it fascinating.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Brick Meathook

comment image

Spur

Guess who’s not going to mow the lawn and instead watch the Boise State game?
THIS GUY!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, you will keep those two thumbs!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Unsurprised

BEGONE GAY THOUGHTS!

comment image

Spur

Folks

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

FUCKING PODIUM PEOPLE!

scotchnaut

It’s dais like these…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

About time!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Italian TV?

scotchnaut

Actually, I think they’re called “tits”.

King Hippo

Dirt Stillers ain’t rolling over and playing ded like they ought.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Dunstan

Time for a La Femme Nikita marathon…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, I didn’t make it that far; it was a sprint.

Dunstan

Now that I’m old, I’ll probably spend a surprising amount of time checking out Madeleine, who I recall was fairly MILFy.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Col. Duke LaCross

Saw that movie at a Sundance premiere a few years ago. It was like a two hour acid trip.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Nice choke job by Nadal’s opponent after going up 4-1 in the tiebreaker and serving, then losing 7 of the next 9 points.

Mr. Ayo

Pasta goes limp when the temperature rises.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh, my bad, it was actually 4-0.

Dunstan

And here comes the predictable letdown. I smell a 7-6, 6-2, 6-2 score

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

King Hippo

dude, you are ON POINT tonight

scotchnaut

The very rare 4 breasted nymph.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Hummmmmmmm…..

scotchnaut

She’s got the two teats peeking out the one side. Science is forcing me to extrapolate. And math is giving me the side eye!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It’s the SHEET!
It’s the SHEET!
It’s the SHEET!

THERE SHALL BE NO NIPPLE!

THERE SHALL BE NO NIPPLE!

WE NEED TO FIX THE SHEET IN AN ODD MANNER SO NONE IS CORRUPTED BY THE EVIL FEMALE NIPPLE! EEEEEEEEEEEVIL!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Drugs are bad, okay kids!

Unsurprised

They are great nipples, though.

scotchnaut

This guy gets it.

Unsurprised

(I don’t get any)

herodotus450

More like “dropped the ball” shot right there.

King Hippo

Looks as if Rice’s QB may be in some serious shit right now. Beyond just playing for Rice.

King Hippo

Jesus, his parents are on the field now. Fuckety fuck fuck.

Mr. Ayo

Yikes! And straight into the waiting ambulance.

scotchnaut

Any updates Hippo?

King Hippo

sound is off, but looked like he at least re-gained consciousness. They resumed playing.

Brick Meathook

RUB SOME DIRT ON IT

Unsurprised

Even Brian Kelly thinks that is cold blooded.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

King Hippo

put a rittre moneys on Team Plane Crash tonight. Boise State will be thinking they all Bobby Big Bollocks after FSU.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

King Hippo

Jeeeeeeebus. Even the shitty ankle tattoo is not a detraction.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

scotchnaut

She looks exhausted.

Brick Meathook

I was considering live-blogging about the bowl of fresh blueberries in Greek yogurt I just ate, but I can’t because I ate them all up.

I may do a BOTG feature, and if I do I will spell it yoghurt just to sound like a dickhead.

SonOfSpam

Yes, that spelling is what will finally make you sound like a dickhead.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

King Hippo

oh my…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Pour a drink and relax.

SonOfSpam

Nice room, but the hunting trophies scream “impotent asshole”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Horns, painting, and a human skull? Sure, whatever you say.

comment image

SonOfSpam

Glad you and the rest of Alabama is okay. Montgomery still stands!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

scotchnaut

And he danced, he danced so far away. Couldn’t get away…

Unsurprised

FUCK!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Considering my original expectations, I think you did incredibly well, tWBS. Glad you’re still with us and didn’t get carried off to Oz.

[raises glass]

King Hippo

as far as hurricanes go, this’un was kind of a pussy

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Um, no it wasn’t.
comment image

SonOfSpam

Yeah, but that’s not where white people live, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

#onlyAlabamamatters

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

SonOfSpam

I think he would’ve liked Oz. Because of the buttsex and other sex all the prisoners have.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

SonOfSpam

“Dong secured – let’s drive.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

JustStopDude

Drunk in a hotel room. I am best man for a coworker and a good friend. I like his bride. Bit after dealing with her parents, I have no fucking idea how she is normal.

My friend is marrying into the white trash version of the Ewings from “Dallas”.

We had to have this wedding and reception at a fucking golf course in Charlotte. I fucking hate this city. So instead of Europe or literally any city in the US, we have to do it here.

The prep practice diner, her dad does his speech which is basically a rambling joke which the punchline is about calling INS of my coworker ever pisses him off. He also had two jokes about Catholic priests touching kids.

My coworker and his family is agreeing to do this at the golf club he is a member of just to be insulted.

The dude is acting like he has clout here and pulled strings. We are paying the same fucking rate as anyone would.

Even better, her dad decided tonight to tell my coworkers family that they won’t be making th e reciprocal ceremony in Warsaw.

This is like having a drunk Jim Belushi at a wedding. Not funny, in appropriate, and everyone hates him.

Fuck I hate Charlotte.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Is your coworker on a green card? Once he gets his citizenship he should start trolling his in-laws by pretending to be all done with the marriage.

SonOfSpam

Fuck I hate Charlotte.

Yeah, I had you pegged as more of a Samantha.

Unsurprised

Or sober Jim Belushi.

Unsurprised

I’m still pretty tapped out from the Balls thread this morning, but …

comment image

King Hippo

I like that tied off t-shirt look

King Hippo

also, wait until you get old like Hippo, that recharge ability…is just sad. I barely look at…Balls-friendly sites twice a week, FFS

Unsurprised

I don’t want to go into it, but my dick is worthless junk

King Hippo

One of us! ONE OF US!!

/yet it still gets one in just as much trouble as it did in one’s prime, nawt FAY-uh!!

herodotus450

The NFL should hire Raphael Nadal to mentor the wives and girlfriends of the league, he could teach them how to avoid backhands at all costs.

Unsurprised

Janay Rice apologizes for this post.

BC Dick

She is smoking hot. She could spit in my face and I wouldn’t even give her a concussion.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Don’t forget the players’ children!” – Roger Goodell, glancing up from where he is hiding a file labeled ‘Tyreek Hill’ under a rug in his office

Dunstan

“Just teach them to avoid video cameras and we’ll be fine.” — R. Goodell

1 2 3