Oh men! (and the occasional Nel and Dok visit!) There is some good stuff this weekend. And if you want to be primed for the full RedZone dopamine rush, you need to limber up on Saturday.
If you want to wake up early and count the teeth (o/u – 60% of capacity), Liverpool are hosting Barcodes (7:30, NBCSN). Realistically, it will just be a 2-hour Jurgen Klopp blowjob. Make sure you have Scope at the ready, DonT! 😀 Christ knows that if I unfortunately wake up, I’mma go to ESPN+ coverage of Mighty Whitey hosting West Brom.
Chelsea at Wolves is the highlight of the 10:00 window, though you need NBC Gold (or a dodgy Belarussian stream) to watch. United hosting Foxy Footy is also on Gold. VERY surprising not to televise both Chelsea and United, against decent opposition, on the same weekend. Spurs and Palace (sneaky, train wreck of a draw is possible) are the NBCSN offering. NO THANKS!
12:30 spotlight dance dips into JV NFL time, which is good, because it’s a snuff film – angry Man City at Norwich. Remember when Other Trash Birds briefly looked competent and exciting? Didn’t last long.
Continentally, one might theoretically enjoy Juve/Fiorentina (9:00, ESPN+) and/or Barca hosting Valencia (3:00, BeIn). Oh, and Bayern visit the Red Bulls in HAWT Nazi action (12:30, FS2). That’s…pretty good shit!
Sunday Funday brings a quality doubleheader, with the Hippo/yeah right Derby to start (9:00, NBCSN), followed by Arsenal at the Moose Hornets (11:30, NBCSN). The desperate Moose Hornets – classic “banana skin” match.
Likely, we get more interesting fixtures, which one of the Crack Lesser Footy Team will note in the comments. To the perv content!
Litre_Cola’s Obscure team that Hippo (probably) bets on!
Today we stay in the East and profile Football Club Anzhi Makhachkala ( Футбо́льный клуб «Анжи́)
NC State (-7) at West By God Virginia (Noon, FS1)
The Hippo/tWBS/WCS Derby may be an eyesore, but huzzah for local interest! Neither side can pass downfield worth a flying fuck, and the commentary will no doubt center around how lunch pale! all the ‘Eers be. Plus, being a significant home dog to the likes of my Shitty Wolves will no doubt piss them off. JUST GREAT.
Maryland (-7) at Temple (Noon, CBSSN)
The One Where Fear teh Turtle Crashes Back To Reality
Kansas State (+7) at Mississippi State (Noon, ESPN)
The real game of the window, two 2-0 sides that nobody really knows anything about. Shit, I don’t even recall if Unded Bill Snyder still ghouls along the sideline. All three matches of the noon window an even 7-point spread, which I find soothing.
Alabama (-infinity) at South Cakalaky (3:30, CBS)
Means MOAR, my hairy white ass. This here a 3-team league this go-round. Wake me for LSU and UGA.
Southern Cal (-4) at BYU (3:30, ABC)
America’s MOST and LEAST sexualized cheer squadrons! Oh well, I am amused.
Iowa (-1.5) at Iowa State (4:00, FS1)
Cornpone Derby, always a fun watch. Staggered kickoff time, too!
Florida (-8.5) at Kentucky (7:00, ESPN)
Extremely lopsided historical rivalry, has produced some bananacakes in recent years.
Florida State (+7.5) at Virginia (7:30, ACCN)
Semenholes have no business being 1-1 (ie, should CLEARLY be 0-2), more than a TD underdogs to a pedestrian Wahoowa side. I’m sure much Reacting Reasonably is going on throughout that shithole state.
Oklahoma (-23.5) at UCLA (8:00, Fox)
Laughing at Chip Kelly never gets old. What a fucking joke he’s assembled at Westwood Klavern.
Texas Tech (-2.5) at Arizona (10:30, ESPN)
You fall asleep during the evening slate (understandable) then wake up, paw away the dried-up drool, and enjoy this sure-to-be-wacky tweaker fixture. September is awesome, y’all.
Blocked field goal gives the Stamps the win
“Cool.”
-Sweet City Woman
Forks Up beating Sparty at the half. I like this.
Hippo I bet on Buffalo, our last year talisman.
This game is really interesting.
Sparty v. Sparky makes for interesting wordplay
That was not the result I anticipated, but I don’t mind.
The answer is no on all accounts. Fucking terps.
Here’s an Indian sculpture at the Fleer Gallery of Asian Art. This thing is like really really old.
Look closely: not only does this dude have ginormous gauges in his ears, but his dick is just totally dangling out like he don’t even care.
“I WAS SWIMMING IN THE GANGES BEFORE I POSED! I SWEAR!”
The fact that Saban is undefeated against his former assistants just shows that he’s not a very good teacher.
I like the butt of your jibe.
Nah, his school makes sure he has the largest payroll in the nation.
Cocks showing game vs. Bama.
yeah, just go ahead and give Son de Clem the title
Seems like today is bananacakes for Gamblor.
Maribor beat Aluminij, WOO!!!
Air Force beats Colorado in OT. Big day for not-quite-Armies
Whoa! Dawn Davenport is simply divan.
Citadel beats Georgia Tech. First win over an ACC foe EVAR. Team Fake Army didn’t even have their starting QB.
Alabama fans touched by Downs celebrate their team’s first touchdown.
Barça-Valencia is a pretty good game!
Big win for the Fightin’ Cosbies!
[googles]
Huh. You’d think more Jewish folks would go to Temple.
That big TV contract allows Yeshiva to pay MOAR
Coach Popovich is glad that the seventh place finish at FIBA is a blemish on his record at not yet another one on his nose.
Miss St. qb follows in Elway and Don Beebe’s footsteps with the helicopter landing thingy.
K State just pulled ahead.
K State fan just made the “white power ok” sign on national teevee
Kansas doesn’t have a race issue, after all they did vote in a Brownback once.
Norwich City? I don’t know enough about them to even attempt a joke.
I guess you could say that this is the canary in the coal mine that Manchester City might not have it this year.
Norwich navigated their way to victory.
/Wait, they became the Connecticut Defenders and then moved to Richmond? God DAMN it.
Now the CT Tigers of Low A ball.