[kicks empty vodka bottles under couch, turns around]
Oh hey, didn’t see you there. Gotdamn! A lot of stuff happened today and I can’t even begin to wrap my head around it all so I think youse folks should take care of that down below.
To those folks that are wandering in for the first, second or third time, this is a spot where you can yak about what went down today/yesterday. Or you can chat about the game. We here at DFO welcome all kinds of respectful, funny, observant, cool, thick-skinned typers from all corners of the cube. (take that, flat-earthers!) Do you want to chat about Trent Williams failing his physical? Or maybe Josh Gordon getting off the weed and the I.R.? We’re all ears.
TO THE GAME!
Niners/Cards:
Breida is a go but David Johnson is not. If you’re like me and have to play Kyle Murray because you’re in bye week hell be aware that since San Franny have come off their bye week they’ve given up 11.5 fantasy points to opposing qb’s. That’s a total, not a per game average. Krikey! Expect te Kittle to get off big time-Arizonny has given up 8 TD’s to that position so far this year. The magical Kenyan is up to bat but he’s going nowhere vs. this insane D.
My game intros on Sunday will be much better-I promise! Just so you’re aware of what’s coming up in the next few days-Friday night we’ll have pics of scantily-clad ladies. Saturday morning we’ll have an open thread where we chat about the soccer games on offer and then transition to the college football games on offer. On Sunday there’ll be quadruple open thread action because of the early London game. If you happen to be a day drinker you’ll be in very, very good, non-judgmental company.
That’s it for me, now it’s you.
https://sports.theonion.com/nationals-admit-world-series-win-would-be-way-sweeter-i-1839505819
I had this gif loaded, so here you go:
https://postimg.cc/1VfwHzSs
Alright. Time for a shower and to watch Without Warning.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6J4pfT2qLb4
Happy November First.
Night, darling!
Kyle Shanahan ruins more elderly Jewish men’s Sundays than Tay-Sachs
“Toilet wine?” — Scott Weiland
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7_L5pPn9pw
I dated a Jewish girl for over 15 years. She was a lot of fun, but as she got into her 40s, she started turning into her father. As much fun as she was in the sack, and as smart she was, I just could not see myself spending the rest of my life with a cranky old Jewish guy from Buffalo NY. “Well you should do this” and “You should do that.” Fuck that noise.
Deep cut, and tragic. Nice twofer
Cardinal Talk is starting! Let’s see what the callers have to say!
Kingsbury for MVP?
So far we’re still on the three hosts covering the game. They’re giving lots of praise to KKK for making calls — and it’s just too bad that those calls were unfortunately not successful.
Hard candy makes Halloween Buddy sad.
However you can just sit on a Tootsie Pop if you’re bored!
Wanna go visit my auntie?
Pro: found a gif involving hot costumed ladies
Con: clearly is from a dirty video and the ladies are sorta mid-coitus….. if you wanna call it coitus.
Gonna use the spoiler tag and a non wordpress friendly hosting site.
I see Stephen Miller went trick-or-treating as the scariest thing he could think of: himself. God Lord, how is this guy three years younger than I am? I still get carded when I by booze. Miller is the poster child of Why Baby Boomers Ruined This Country monthly, and he’s a Millennial.
The “Our Cartoon President” portrayal of him tickles me deeply!
I wonder if it fulfilling to be an objectively rotten person when you’re as unlikeable as Miller. Like, there is nothing redeeming about Miller; he was born to be a weak distant tool of any sort of unholy cult. All those times I thought, “They’ll pay. THEY’LL ALL PAY!” in my youthful angst, I see now that Miller is the one to actually live out that hatred for ‘the world’ we all feel at a moment when our teen hormones are all out of whack.
I think the answer has to be “no, it’s not satisfying.” Because the people who most suffer from Miller’s actions either don’t know who he is or only do so distantly. What Miller wants is the satisfaction of having the girls who rejected him in high school say “ooh, you were right! And now you’re so STRONG and POWERFUL!”
And that won’t happen, because they all still view him with contempt.
And his dick is probably just as small and misproportioned as that of his master.
“I’m GLAD my family hates me,” is something I bet he says to his, um, well, it’s something he *would* say to his friends, if he had them.
It’s like he’s the Aaron Rodgers of the White House Staff.
Usually if you’re dark and driving through Arizona that fast they ask for your papers.
Am I about to start watching the newest Evil Dead?
Yes. Because I have people to blame if I don’t like it.
the series is good too more on the humorous side
That is a pretty genius argument!
THEY’LL KNOW WHAT THEY DID!
I bought a Christmas Tree today. An artificial one. I hate artificial trees. But I also hate watering and dealing with the needles of a real one. Last year the fucking thing got so dried out I had to haul it out of the house 10 days before Christmas. And this year we are in a drought.
So I went online and ordered one of those artificial ones that are made to look very real. No green pipe cleaner bullshit. Damn those things are expensive. Freaking thing better last until I die.
That’s all I have to say about that.
Kids out of the house? NO FUCKING TREE FOR ME. Makes Hippo feel like an honorary MoT.
Or you could convert to Judaism or Muslimicity or Buddhism or Atheism (the last has worked well for me for over a half century).
I’m agnostic at best. It’s mostly for Mom and the niece.
But Jesus was still a pretty chill dude so what the hell.?
I’m pretty much full-tilt atheist, but I don’t think that interferes with about 95% of Christmas. AFAICT, Jesus doesn’t have anything to do with hanging Christmas lights, drinking overspiked eggnog and buying presents for each other.
I am dying to hear about the results. I have an enormous space that needs a tree but I have never had a Christmas tree before and want an artificial one because I don’t know how to care for them! Also, I don’t know who else is supposed to be seeing it aside from me
Another option is to just be Jewish.
Make no mistake, I am an unabashed atheist, but my place is so adorable and begs for a shiny tree of some kind
Get a cactus. They’re nice and prickly. If nothing else you can use it as a makeshift weapon when you wake up one morning and there’s a bear in the kitchen having breakfast.
Quite true, but where I live now is so much colder! I am not sure I can keep it warm enough even I doors for a spicy little Xmas cactus!
So, what’s a good Halloween movie, non-scary edition?
High spirits. Cheesy 80s movie with Liam Neeson, Steve Guttenberg, Beverly D’Angelo and Peter O’Toole
Beetlejuice
Nightmare before Christmas
Been having this debate for years: is that a Halloween movie or a Christmas movie?
It can’t be both.
It’s got Danny Elfman, so it could be a Passover or Yom Kippur or Hannukah movie for all I care. Gut Yentif.
Edit: It occurs to me that Beetlejuice has Elfman also, as composer. So, it’s all good with me…
Does Beetlejuice count as ‘scary’?
Beetlejuice
I mean only the original “Halloween” film was scary, but yeah, the rest ain’t good.
Hocus Pocus
That was Lady BFC’s call, too.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MV0F_XiR48Q
Night of Giving Head
That was my suggestion
How “non-scary” are we talking?
Cuz I think Hocus Pocus and Nightmare before Christmas are overrated, so I always watch Ernest Scared Stupid
https://giphy.com/gifs/absurdnoise-90s-ernest-cLu5VsGob42kg
It has 1 or two legitimately scary moments though (I won’t spoil it)
Practical magic.
Aren’t some of the movies made by the old “In Living Colour” crew (Wayans, if not mistaken), Scary Movies, kind of funny but not too scary?
Shaun of the Dead. End of Discussion
Right call made.
Cabin in the Woods
Love it! Love everything about it!
*I did totally hide at a few of the incest zombie jumo-scare scenes, tho
I ate too many mini-Butterfingers. I mean, even ONE should be too many, and I wildly exceeded that.
Well I ate 4 packs of starburst and might even go to bed without brushing my teeth
I have literal bags worth of fun size candy that will not see December
Better call somebody
[toe flies off]
*Cat comes and eats diabetes toe while you are asleep.*
Since I expected no beggars, I bought no candy. But I did drink around a quarter of a handle of blended scotch, which is probably just as bad or worse for me as eating Halloween candy.
Yeah, I am sincerely worried what this match up looks like in 2 weeks
Well, I guess the only NFL surprise tonight is that AZ actually scored, and that the final score could be considered respectable.
Has Dennis Leary ever been in anything enjoyable? His part in sandlot is the most forgettable moment in the movie
Demolition Man?
That’s what I was going to say (type?).
Rescue Me was fairly good.
First three seasons anyway.
Final was a weird movie that I liked.
I like the Ford F-150 ads where he pimps the “military grade” aluminum, which is something that does not exist.
The Ref sucked
Unintentionally racist moment: i find it funny that bayley somehow looks more Hispanic now that she’s “evil”
The joke being she looked white as hell as a good guy.
WWE puts a lot of effort into making their non-white female faces as ethnically ambiguous as possible
Remembering the time they took three legends of lucha libre and made them into this
Jesus Fucking Christ
Wrestling is almost never good
good thing they went the sensitive/woke route!
Good god, why didn’t they just have them come out wearing back-mounted weed-eaters?
Jimmy G you are mediocre at best!
Cromulent even.
Haterz Gonna Hate
#ImWithHER
Think he’s moving to Elite status
WHY would you throw here???
Mini-Shanny 1, Hippo nil
Don’t worry. No matter how far ahead he gets, he will inevitably piss it away