Just over the horizon I can see the fantasy playoffs looming and those of you at 5-6 better get your collective shit together sooner rather than later. Perhaps you should take a flyer or two on some high upsiders, I mean what you’ve been doing so far hasn’t exactly worked has it? Just a thought…
TO THE GAMES!
Bucs/Falcons:
Tampa has given up an average of 3.5 scores thru the air over the last four weeks. They’ve had all year to fix this and nothing has been done. I don’t get it. Rb Brian Hill went busto last week and will likely do the same again vs. a Bucs squad that is stout against the run. Atlanta’s D has shown signs of turning it around lately but I think Evans and Godwin are going to remind them of some hard truths today.
Broncos/Bills:
Let’s get these youngsters the frickin’ ball, shall we? Both Singletary and Lindsay have distanced themselves from their backfield competition using their their lively legs. Let them run, damnit! It’s a small sample size but qb Allen seems to trust te Fant these last two weeks and that fantasy position is a wasteland. You could-and probably will-do worse than him.
Giants/Bears:
Hopefully Daniel Jones used the bye to get more comfortable with the O, increase his pocket awareness and solve his fumbling issues. Perhaps he even suggested to his dull as a 10-year-old knife OC some plays like RPO’s, jet sweeps, swing passes and pitch-outs. You know, the kinds of things that would allow the team’s most dynamic player to operate in a bit of space. Ah, whose kidding who, none of these things happened.
Steelers/Bengals:
Juju and Conner are out and this game has a dismal 38 over/under. It’s got ‘ugly’ written all over it. Rook qb Finley’s on-going troubles mean that Mixon will get all kinds of carries straight into the teeth of Pitt’s stellar interior D that consists of Heyward, Tuitt, Alualu and McCullers. Put cotton-eyed Joe down for 20 carries for 62 yards.
Fins/Browns:
All of the yakkers on the Sirius fantasy football channel are guaranteeing that OBJ will go off this week so you should probably fade him. I’ll bet his opposite number Davante Parker has the better numbers by the end of regulation.
Panthers/Saints:
Wr Chark is the sexy upside play here but Kyle Allen’s security blanket is D.J. Moore. He’s the one getting 35(!) targets over the last three weeks. Is Cup of McCaffrey on a roll? In his last 20 games he’s racked up 30+ points nine times. So, ‘yes’.
Raiders/Jets:
Guess who has been QB5 over the last two weeks? Yeah, it’s our own Unfrozen Caveman. I picked him up when I saw his cupcake, down-the-stretch sked but I didn’t have the balls to play him. Maybe you do?
Seahawks/Eagles:
Philly follows the Bucs lead in that they’re strong vs. the run but their secondary is a “Must Fly” zone. That means that a quality DFS stack is Wilson/Metcalf/Gordon. On t’udder side, you must think that the Eagles will be playing from behind but their receiving corps is a dropsy, non-handsy load of garbage. Ertz has been gold on first down so maybe the sneaky play here is Goedart? Did I spell it right? It’s early.
Lions/Potato Skins:
Rb Peterson’s toe owie caused him to miss practice but he figures he’s good to go today. That point is a bit moot because he’s ceding carries to Guice who is infinitely more explosive with the rock. I wouldn’t watch this one for quality qb play.
Let ‘er rip below.
check that passing line on Haskins
Touchdown John Brown!
“Billie Jean King, meet Jameis Winston”
“Mahatma Gandhi, meet the Burger King”
Billy Jean King buddies with Rapey Jameis. MAKES CENTS
These Baker Mayfield commercials will be funny if they reshoot them after he’s out of the league, but still lives in the Browns stadium.
Tomsula hopes they never find out about him living in the bowels of FedEx Field…
Awww…successful endzone punt by Donks. Had the gif cued up and everything….
Thank god for the Troops! Just imagine, if we didn’t have them to fight in Iraq and Afghanistan, America wouldn’t have NFL games apparently! It’s chilling if you think about it.
Be nice to them. When Trump refuses to accept the impeachment conviction or election loss, we’re going to need the troops help from Operation Eviction.
OH, BLEERGH! WHY HAVE THOU FORSAKEN ME?!
Great run from Pennysaver
Who’s that? James Conner?
R Penny – RB for Seahawks
Ryan Finley’s a good thrower, but his best pinch is sadly a knuckleball.
Truthbiscuit getting soaked.
Sounds great – BYU alum
RIP, brief Bollo non-tardedness
Arm punt!
what will it take for the Bills to handoff to Singletary twice in a row in one series?
Is everyone else dead? Because it would probably take that.
“Can we do that?”
-Bills coaching staff
My Mixon prediction is still in play.
A beatin’?
store could use some fixin??
::Turns on OAK/NYJ::
Finally! A broadcast worth watching in this slot!
Wentz needed to go check his facebook
Direct quote from last Finley pass:
(sounds): : “aahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”
(translation) : hopeful happiness | shocked disbelief
Again, I am sorry on behalf of all Wolven Sort
I can’t help but be reminded that Steve Scalise was shot and did not die.
He should have died.
No, should have lived but like James Brady lived.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Brady
David Carr is out? I need the garbage points! Stupid fucking shitty things.
/Josh Jacobs owner with 4.3 points nods
I dont think I’ve seen a team so obviously quit before.
Glennon fumbles twice in three snaps, banner NC State week
Might have to save some of this Wild Turkey 101 for Thanksgiving.
BLOOD SUGAR BABY! IT’S MAGIC, A FITZMAGIC!!
They are covering…..
I bet ML
First time this has ever been written:
The Jets have not had to punt until 2 minutes to go in the 3rd quarter.
Time to start drinking.
It’s something o’clock somewhere
Second that. I was getting tired of waiting until 4:30
“Scarborough has 76 yards rushing? That’s fair.”
-Simon and Garfunkel
Just bet on the Cowboys. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT GAMBLOR???????
I thought about it and declined, so enjoy your winnings
Good News: “I’ve lost six pounds so far.”
Bad News: “I’ve just downs half a container of egg nog.”
You have a toilet and fingers, don’t ya fatty?? – Karen C., parts unknown
Wentz needed 17 completed passes to hit 100 yards. Alex Smith sheds a single tear.
And more than a little cartilage.
The way the Jets are hitting him, Renfrow’s nickname must be World Trade Center.
“Yeah, I’m gonna need to cancel my ‘Mission Accomplished’ banner order and replace it with something else.”
Twitter says Rudolph was distraught with Garrett’s racist accusation. That may partly explain why he’s crapping the bed.
Sounds right, Murrica feels sorry for the racist.
That checks out. I feel sorry for Trump. Blessed with money. Connected with the people. Still ends up a Dingleberry of the Ass Hair of Humanity.
So CBS is all-in on mixed-race comedies. In 2019.
Edgy.
Bears coaching staff pulling out all the buttplugs
Wait, they showed that on T.V.?
Sure, Bears call a timeout during a 2 point conversion, even though the defense jumped and a tackle moving would have meant half the distance and a stoppage
EAGLES DID A THING. Now they will proceed to do not a thing.
The Eagles has 0 penalties. Seems legit
Bolo Verdad did good?
31 point lead, and I’m STILL not sure the Jets could win this game.
thats a good funny
Sweet jesus what the fuck is going on
very entropic
Just had an hour nap. How are the Heaux no kicking the shit out of the Eagles????
They’re better at catching fish than footballs
Jimmy Graham played basketball.
Jerome Bettis is from Detroit.
Eagles absolutely wasting Seattle’s one bad offensive game so far
The other Watt may be ded, so there is today’s silver lining moment
Broncos defenders so surprised at how bad Josh Allen’s throws are, they drop sure interceptions.
yep, my new lucky socks are sure working
Fellow Broncos fan here. I smoked my lucky weed and everything, I don’t know what else I can do
another one WOO!!!!
Some good hand there by SeaTruthers!
dear sweet jesus fuck what was any of that
I am losing to a fantasy team that seriously started THREE players on bye.
Thom Brennaman getting a little ahead of himself assuming the bears will score inside the 6
Mixon just had his best run, running away from where his blockers were.
Mitch Trubisky being competent or are the Giants just making him look good?
Yes?
oh, if #ThePauls blow this…