NFL Noise:
- Break out the juice boxes, because Eli Manning is coming back to active duty!
- Current & future disappointment Daniel Jones is in a walking boot with a moderate high ankle sprain, making dragging Eli out of mothballs a necessity.
- If he does play on Monday night, Eli would meet the Eagles for the 31st time in his career. The Giants have gone 10-20 in the first 30 meetings.
- Current & future disappointment Daniel Jones is in a walking boot with a moderate high ankle sprain, making dragging Eli out of mothballs a necessity.
- In other injury/lineup news:
- Running back injuries have led the Chiefs to bring back Spencer Ware.
- Defensive injuries have led the Saints to re-sign Manti Te’o.
- Since it’s a slow day, let’s do a little Stealing From Crimebeat!:
- Colts backup & Jim Kelly’s embarrassing relative Chad Kelly is facing multiple lawsuits from his time in Denver.
- He’s being sued by Von Miller’s personal photographer for injuries suffered as a result of an assault.
- The photographer wants damages to cover “without limitation, pain, suffering, impairment of quality of life, physical impairment, lost wages, loss of earning capacity, and medical expenses.” No dollar amount is listed.
- He’s being sued by the family of the house he broke into on November 29, 2018.
- They claim they “continued to suffer from this experience with anxiety, depression, terrors, nightmares, hypervigilance and fear.” No dollar amount is listed.
- He’s being sued by Von Miller’s personal photographer for injuries suffered as a result of an assault.
- LeSean McCoy has settled the lawsuit brought against him by his ex-girlfriend.
- She accused him of orchestrating the home invasion at a home he owns in Milton, just outside Atlanta.
- The woman – Delicia Cordon – was bloodied and beaten, and $133,000 worth of jewelry was stolen from the home.
- Colts backup & Jim Kelly’s embarrassing relative Chad Kelly is facing multiple lawsuits from his time in Denver.
Tonight’s sports:
- NHL:
- Avalanche at Leafs – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
- Blues at Penguins – 8:00PM | NBCSN
- Capitals at Kings – 10:00PM | Sportsnet
- NBA:
- Warriors at Bobcats – 7:00PM | Sportsnet1
- Heat at Celtics – 7:30PM | TSN
- Lakers at Jazz – 9:00PM | NBATV / TSN4
- Kings at trail Blazers – 10:00PM | TSN
- NCAA:
- Hoops:
- Pennsylvania at Villanova – 6:30PM | FS1
- Virginia at Purdue – 7:30PM | ESPN2
- Notre Dame at Maryland – 7:30PM | ESPN
- Nebraska at Georgia Tech – 7:30PM | ESPNU / TSN3
- Texas Tech at DePaul – 8:30PM | FS1
- Wake Forest at Penn State – 9:15PM | ESPNU
- Wisconsin at North Carolina State – 9:15PM | ESPN2
- Ohio State at North *Carolina – 9:30PM | ESPN / TSN3
- Utah State at San Jose State – 11:15PM | ESPN2
- Hoops:
- Wrasslin’:
- AEW Dynamite – 8:00PM | TNT / TSN2
- NXT – 8:00PM | USA
There’s plenty of good stuff up tonight. If all goes as planned, I should be having beverages with the esteemed Litre_Cola aboot 8:00 Best Coast time, and hopefully laughing out loud at another Leafs loss.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XF68OyTlP4E&list=WL&index=5
Roommate Commander is really into Xmas. There is a nativity scene on our Hall bookcase, with a crooked frame hanging above it.
As I begin fixing it, she walks by and very worriedly remarks, “Be careful! Jesus is down there!”
I respond, “If Jesus loses to me, you need a better savior.”
I feel very lucky she found that funny.
Lock your door. She’ll cut you.
With her jesus knife.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDk74v0HHXc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fdzt2ctyPIw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3CNhzSUbjs
Back at the hotel. Time to get stoned.
Was a great night at a bar that historian BeerguyRob said used to be a strip club is now a classy dive bar.
My foot hurts
Our prize was a $20 gift card & a picture book called “All My Friends Are Dead”, which was much better than first place who won a CD box set you couldn’t turn into drinks at said bar.
Litre is a rock solid individual.
Can confirm
Update: we finished second. Only three wrong out of 40 questions. Fucking Bare Naked Ladies brought us down.
Obviously I posted…….. too soon.
I thought that’s how you were supposed to do it. I mean hiking up the skirt and going to town is ok but….
Oh wait, I might have misunderstood.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fC_q9KPczAg
We are throwing a challenge flag awaiting the final results
I’m frankly more ashamed that the Canadians amongst us got something wrong about Barenaked Ladies.
So we found an old Dyson vacuum cleaner on the curb. It works fine! It’s like a $300 vacuum cleaner; obviously not now since it’s older but as best I can tell there isn’t a damned thing wrong with it. Livin’ the Hobo High Life, y’all.
How much sperm is in it?
Before he found it or after?
This is an important distinction.
Trivia update. Its halftime and we have 2 wrong. The 2 wrong were fucking millennial music questions.
What’s your team name? My go to names are:
Endless Love: The Helen Keller – Stevie wonder tennis match
And
Unemployed hand models looking for a good hand job
I don’t recall, but I am really enjoying screaming out ridiculously wrong answers.
Daniel Jones playing CoD with Clint Frazier (mocking the Astros sign-stealing). Meanwhile Eli’s still playing Freddi Fish.
https://twitter.com/GeorgesBoxPod/status/1202267693241556993
I’m sure this guy is fun at parties.
https://twitter.com/NoahRains1/status/1202426098618961921?s=20
Just called me “boy”. He seems to have guessed my gender correctly. I feel blessed by his keen knowledge of the universe.
He sure does!
What if I have diarrhea? Because… I have lost a lot of weight today. Does that matter to you when you bend me over to make sweet, sweet car love my prostate? Can I bring a camera to put pics in for our future grandkids? Do you prefer roses or daisies? So many questions before we consummate!
Okay Chan Ho Park
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YwSiFhAjwgw
Try Hot Wheels.
Unless there is some sort of blockage.
https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js
I hope they all fucking died.
Watching a show on Amazon Prime with Michael Caine called My Generation, about the hip scene in England in the 1960s, which has some nice British tunes by some classic British bands like the Kinks, Stones, Who, Animals etc. Also features a lot of clips from his movies of the era. My takeaway is that 1960s Michael Caine is the coolest Michael Caine, and maybe one of the coolest guys ever. Recommended.
Evening people. Enjoying an old fashioned after sending an inordinate amount of time washing sap off my hands. In other news, the Sharkbait family Christmas tree is now up
Better water it
Too late. Its dried out now
And it’s on fire
What the didgeredoo is this fackin smoke mate, ruinin me view of da boats!
I don’t know if I would want a tree sap handy but you do you.
This is why humans invented gloves and/or The Help
…
found a funny:
Him: Did you adopt your dog?
Me: No, he’s my biological dog.
I tried to fuck my cat once. It’s not as fun as it sounds.
To be fair, your cat’s a whore.
Hey. Cracked open the Stone Enjoy By 01.01.20 and I am following instructions.
Going to Vegas in the morning.
Anyone want me to bet for them? $100 on red? Venmo me and we’ll be honest I swear.
Flying or driving?
Driving. As long as you don’t go during heavy traffic times, it doesn’t make much (financially anyway) to fly. Plus it’s easier to transport hotel-ready food/beer.
Agreed. The only problem is that it’s going to rain like crazy on Saturday. Be safe on the drive back.
Thanks man…will do. Desert flash floods ain’t nuttin to fuck wit.
Stop at the giant thermometer.
Fuck yeah Baker!
(I will not be stopping there unless I have to piss, and I will be sober so I will not have to piss. But I have certainly pissed there before. On the outside of the building. Because I was not sober.)
WOO Baker.
UVa getting Charlotteslive’d by Purdue…
Attn Beerguyrob, trivia night starts at 8….
We expect Team DFO to wipe the floor with the competition!
Or at least wipe the floor at the end of the night as part of their responsibilities.
The cost to repair my shitty car is only $200! Yeah!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Fw0OvKFKhw&ab_channel=PunkRobsSinema
I was working out today and bench pressed 750 lbs, which is pretty good for a Wednesday, but three of my spotters suffered strains so let’s all keep them in our prayers. God bless.
/pulls old grizzled blue collar labor hat out of the closet
I’ll respect people who go to the gym when they’re half as strong as I was when I was throwing around 200+ lbs boards for 10 hours a day, 6 days a week. Do another rep, pussies.
/puts reddit-and-youtube-on-taxpayer-dime hat back on
Your old job sounds like Conan the Barbarian.
There was an equivalent amount of spitting
I just found out that the record bench press is 739.6 lbs, but my lift won’t count because it has to be witnessed with all this official shit and stuff. Maybe next time I’m at the gym I’ll bring a camera because I lift this all the time, it’s my usual weight.
I can dead lift 2500 lbs. I don’t know what that is is in kilos.
It’s Christ’s love that allows me to do these things.
Through Jesus, all things are possible. For example: a ruptured spleen.
I think your lover pronounces it HAY-zeus, nawt GEE-zus.
Nonsense. You’re still my favorite.
Brick was Pat Robertson all along!
Give me money.
Paint my fence.
Oh, wait. I thought you said blintzes.
They just announced a Smackdown taping for Vancouver on Friday, February 14th. I might have to go.
Happy Valentines Day honey.
Yeah – WineWife puts up with a lot, but not the aggro mess that will be that particular Friday evening.
Last year when we went to New York, I got her out to the Meadowlands for a game but I went to the Garden by myself.
Forever alone dot gif
Honestly, doing anything conventionally romantic that involves going out on Valentine’s Day is way more stupid than going to a Smackdown taping. Go the weekend before or after, or before and after, or stay at home; but don’t get scammed and driven to anxiety and frustration trying to be loving in the middle of the coldest, worst month of the year.
Well, it’s not like there is a restaurant or bar that are going to not be so crowded you want to punch a MFer. Do it!
Are they not doing smackdown live now? Did Fox drop a bullshit amount of money on pretaped episodes?
Sorry – it’ll be live. But it’s a “taping” because it’s live on the east coast & delayed until prime time in the west.
My husband, me , and our son who was about 7 or 8 went to the UK Rampage in Glasgow Scotland in 1990 or 91. We were a couple of rows from the ring, and got sweated on by Andre the Giant. Rowdy Roddy Piper was in the main match, I think against the Million Dollar Man. Hulk Hogan was there, and the guy who did Slim Jim ads whose name escapes me, and a bunch of others. My kid was losing it!
Mom?
No, but go clean your room!
That sounds amazing!
It really was! I didn’t expect to enjoy it as much as they did, but it was tons of fun. Macho Man Randy Savage was the Slim Jim guy
Decorating the Christmas tree tonight.
v
RUSS!!!!!!
We haven’t done any decorating this year because we told my shithead child that if he doesn’t stop fucking up in school, he’s not getting christmas. He appears to be calling my bluff, and folks,,,
You should wrap up his text books and put them under the tree. My dad once put switches in my sister’s stocking and her only gift was a lump of coal wrapped up in great big box that had some bricks in it to make it heavy. The lamentation and wailing that day was positively Old Testamenty.
That’s hilarious!
When my father made a threat, it was actually a promise. He took my brother’s car from him, sold it and then bought a nasty Datsun B210 station wagon to drive. All because my brother was shirking his cleaning chores. And my father warned him.
Your father raised you boys right!
It was very much just an exaggerated threat on my part until he said “no you won’t” and guaranteed that I will.
Your dad is Adrian Peterson?
That is where I was going to go. Well played.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kV0XTm3KYlk
Eli has half as many Super Bowl wins as he does wins against the Eagles in the last 11 years and I don’t understand it. Derpy play-doh eating looking motherfucker.
It is SO cold.
Yay foar teh asterisk.
Boo bcuz NC State gon’ get plowed under 2nite.
Ask Litre if he brought enuff weed fo’ everybody.
(nevermind I already know)
((he’s a stingy sumbitch))
Oh I have weed.
Will now roll one now.
I never doubted it foar a minute.
Get Riga and Lambeau high. That would be funny.
I heard USC is keeping Clay Helton. That’s just
Yessir! I will be at a lovely bar that would fit in on the DFO pub crawl. The Morrissey (nawt Smiths). This means another one of you really exists!
Low Commander’s parents were only 35% convinced I would return his body.
I hurt my upper back a little bit working out today. Nothing terrible, just enough to make me cut things short 1/3 of the way through. It ensures that I *won’t* be working out tomorrow, though, which means WE GON’ DRANK tonight.