Huzzah, I hope y’all ain’t tired of the Premiership.  Because there’s a metric fuckton of it this weekend.

Bournemouth got a really good point off Arsenal on Boxing Day, so they go right back on the road to meet the ever-tricky Trashbirds of Brighton (7:30, NBCSN).  My willingness to set the alarm depends on how early I gives up on Friday night JV mediocrity.  Gus Johnson is calling Team Cornpone against the Troi Boiz as I type.

yeah right’s Cherries no doubt saving a Draw shall be followed by three matches at 10:00, led by Everton’s visit to take on the Barcodes (NBCSN).  Newcastle, much like a K-Mart version of Leicester, have been punching way above their underlying analytics.  They won’t likely be as humbled as the Foxes were Thursday night, but a fall is coming.  Don Carlo won’t lose to these shits.  Unless he does.  Footy is hard to predict.

Norwich host Spurs in the regular Spotlight Dance spot (12:30, NBC), but you get extended ballroom time with United at Burnley next (2:45, NBC).  Both biggies are away, so there will likely be at least some dramatics.  But Burnley are dire, and United may have finally hit their long-awaited stride.  Leicester at the Hammers are a bonus NBC Gold matchup in the 12:30 window.

Holy War action between Arsenal and Chelsea highlight your Sunday morning (9:00, NBSN), followed by the Redshite hosting shit-hot Wolves (11:30, NBCSN).  Looks like they join City (who forfeited all remote Title hopes in Wolverhampton yesterday) away to Team Knifey – who can totally beat the champs – in progress.  Match starts at 1p, which interferes with Mysterious NFL Week 17 anyway.  I will cherish my time with Coked-Up RedZone Guy whilst I can, thanks.

Haven’t these JV exhibitions been liquid shit?  You get two MOAR, before the Raging Semis start (which shall get stand-alone coverage):

Memphis (+7) v. Paedo State (Pick a Bale of Cotton! Bowl, Jerralworld – Noon, ESPN)

As if this weren’t gonna be a big enough ass-reaming (sorry for the Paedo State visuals there), FedEx is missing a bunch of starters.  I don’t care enough to look up whether it’s grades, NFL prep, injury, or hooliganism.  Don’t want to think of how shit-ass dumb you must be to fail out of Memphis.  As an ATHLETE.  Baddies roll.

Iowa State (+3.5) v. Notre Dame (Preliminary Hitler Mice Bowl, Orlando, FL – Noon, ABC)

At least I think this is the preliminary one.  I get confused.  Team Cornpone State has a legitimate shot here, they are well-coached and athletic.  Plus, I think Big Twaaaaalve sides are better suited to exhibition “competition” where defense is often minimal, and guys don’t want to get hurt (more than usual).  Plus, Brian Kelly killed a kid.  Well, maybe KIDS, who knows for sure.  But at least one.  And I will remind the world of that (as will Horatio, no doubt) as long as he’s employed.  Fuck him, fuck the Domers.

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Balls’ Liga MX Minuto

I told teh Hippo that América had not won the first leg of any series in this Liguilla de Apertura. I urged him to bet Monterrey to win. Did he do so?

Yes,  it would have been gut-wrenching as Monterrey did not score the winning goal until stoppage time,  but score it they did.

Now,  they go to the Azteca with a slim advantage on the scoreboard (2-1) but América has that precious away goal.

The second leg is Sunday night.  I want Monterrey to win,  but América has them right where they want them.

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