Fuck off with the hangovers and all other crap associated with NYE spent with real people.  As long as none of my kids get arrested (actually fuck it, they can rot if they do), I shall be watching some Premiership all morning!

Also, this will be the Decade of Kruger (pictured above).  He is DONE with all our humanity bullshit.

Chelsea visit Brighton to start 2020 (7:30, NBCSN).  I really hate Tory Cunt Frank Lampard and his stupid face.  Betcha the Trashbirds at least take an early lead on those fuckers.  Spurs are away to So’ton next (10:00, NBCSN), with better options on NBC Gold (actually, you have alternate viewing options in the first 3 windows) – especially Wolves at Moose Hornets (my sleeper pick for a fun watch).  Saints are going to go down to the Championship, and it will be hilarious.

Speaking of, most of the lower division sides (UK only) will play during the 3p UK time window, per tradition.  Don’t forget to HAIL GAMBLOR, fuckadoos.

Don Carlo Ancelotti leads the mighty Toffees into the Etihad (12:30, NBCSN), which has to feel like a gloomy place now.  No hopes of a repeat domestic title.  Pep looks old and tired.  The back line is wretched.  It amazes me to be in a – albeit likely very much misplaced – mindset where I can see taking some points from this.  Hold onto your arses, Europa League, here come Everton!

Finally, you get a real cracker of a match to end the festivities – shit hot Man United at the opposite of that Arsenal (3:00, NBCSN).  Mikel Arteta needs to show a little steel in his spine here, or people will start getting even more agitated.  A bottom half finish really is possible, which would represent quite the low point for the Gooners.  Anyway, expect the cornered animal to at least fight.

There are also 2 early afternoon JV exhibitions, which I imagine you are almost as sick of as I am (only almost b/c y’all probably ain’t watching as much of ’em):

Michigan (+7.5) v. Alabama (Main Event Hitler Mouse Bowl, Orlando, FL – 1:00, ABC)

I always liked when Steve Spurrier would mock Phil Fulmer – you can’t spell “Citrus Bowl” without “UT!”  One would think Roll Damn Tide would be less interested in being here, but I just don’t see a lot of talent on the Meeeechigan sideline (playing or coaching).  The again, I’m wrong quite often.

Minnesota (+7) v. Auburn (MRSA Bowl, Tampa, FL – 1:00, ESPN)

Will there be deep enough swamp channels to Row Teh Boat?  I really don’t know, but I sure expect the Gophers to show up.  War Damn Eagle is a weird team, and I never know what to expect from them.

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Balls’ Liga MX Minuto and New Year’s Message

A few days ago,  Monterrey won the Liga MX Apertura championship as the #8 seed in La Liguilla.  This was awesome and showed how strong that team is.

This is the same team that not only scored against Liverpool in the Club World Cup but played them the toughest. Only a stoppage time goal let them go through.

The Clausura tournament begins on January 10, so they’ll get a bit of a break before they’re back at it. La Liga starts playing again this weekend.

Others have mentioned it before,  but I’ll reiterate that I wish nothing but the best for all you strange and goofy bastards. We are a weird and eclectic bunch here,  but there are a lot of funny and caring people here too and that’s what I love about this place.

Lastly,  Brick,  you were not banned although your comment was edited without your knowledge.  Just know that this was hotly discussed in the back room and I personally feel the situation could have been handled better through better communication. Hopefully,  if something similar happens in the future, whether it’s you or someone else, it will be handled differently.

Now post some airplane engines or shoelaces, dammit!

Happy New Year,  everyone!

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