Fuck off with the hangovers and all other crap associated with NYE spent with real people. As long as none of my kids get arrested (actually fuck it, they can rot if they do), I shall be watching some Premiership all morning!
Also, this will be the Decade of Kruger (pictured above). He is DONE with all our humanity bullshit.
Chelsea visit Brighton to start 2020 (7:30, NBCSN). I really hate Tory Cunt Frank Lampard and his stupid face. Betcha the Trashbirds at least take an early lead on those fuckers. Spurs are away to So’ton next (10:00, NBCSN), with better options on NBC Gold (actually, you have alternate viewing options in the first 3 windows) – especially Wolves at Moose Hornets (my sleeper pick for a fun watch). Saints are going to go down to the Championship, and it will be hilarious.
Speaking of, most of the lower division sides (UK only) will play during the 3p UK time window, per tradition. Don’t forget to HAIL GAMBLOR, fuckadoos.
Don Carlo Ancelotti leads the mighty Toffees into the Etihad (12:30, NBCSN), which has to feel like a gloomy place now. No hopes of a repeat domestic title. Pep looks old and tired. The back line is wretched. It amazes me to be in a – albeit likely very much misplaced – mindset where I can see taking some points from this. Hold onto your arses, Europa League, here come Everton!
Finally, you get a real cracker of a match to end the festivities – shit hot Man United at the opposite of that Arsenal (3:00, NBCSN). Mikel Arteta needs to show a little steel in his spine here, or people will start getting even more agitated. A bottom half finish really is possible, which would represent quite the low point for the Gooners. Anyway, expect the cornered animal to at least fight.
There are also 2 early afternoon JV exhibitions, which I imagine you are almost as sick of as I am (only almost b/c y’all probably ain’t watching as much of ’em):
Michigan (+7.5) v. Alabama (Main Event Hitler Mouse Bowl, Orlando, FL – 1:00, ABC)
I always liked when Steve Spurrier would mock Phil Fulmer – you can’t spell “Citrus Bowl” without “UT!” One would think Roll Damn Tide would be less interested in being here, but I just don’t see a lot of talent on the Meeeechigan sideline (playing or coaching). The again, I’m wrong quite often.
Minnesota (+7) v. Auburn (MRSA Bowl, Tampa, FL – 1:00, ESPN)
Will there be deep enough swamp channels to Row Teh Boat? I really don’t know, but I sure expect the Gophers to show up. War Damn Eagle is a weird team, and I never know what to expect from them.
***
Balls’ Liga MX Minuto and New Year’s Message
A few days ago, Monterrey won the Liga MX Apertura championship as the #8 seed in La Liguilla. This was awesome and showed how strong that team is.
This is the same team that not only scored against Liverpool in the Club World Cup but played them the toughest. Only a stoppage time goal let them go through.
The Clausura tournament begins on January 10, so they’ll get a bit of a break before they’re back at it. La Liga starts playing again this weekend.
Others have mentioned it before, but I’ll reiterate that I wish nothing but the best for all you strange and goofy bastards. We are a weird and eclectic bunch here, but there are a lot of funny and caring people here too and that’s what I love about this place.
Lastly, Brick, you were not banned although your comment was edited without your knowledge. Just know that this was hotly discussed in the back room and I personally feel the situation could have been handled better through better communication. Hopefully, if something similar happens in the future, whether it’s you or someone else, it will be handled differently.
Now post some airplane engines or shoelaces, dammit!
Happy New Year, everyone!
***
The fuck is Arsenal doing at the back??
Can you be more specific? Because I have said that multiple times in literally every Arsenal game I’ve watched, and I am a spectacularly ill-informed fan.
Well it seems they are trying to play it out instead of their keeper thumping it down the field. Teams like Barca and Juve have the cbs and defensive mids who can distribute the ball. I am not sure that with a 2 nil lead on a rival that I would be doing small passes at the back that ARE getting intercepted.
Surprise anal.
“Hey doc, wanna ease up? I came in to have a hangnail looked at.”
“LEGS IN THE STIRRUPS! You’re going to feel a slight pressure. We’ll be done shortly if you relax.”
MOOOOOON RIVER!!!!!
“Is that your thumb?”
“No.”
The BK family Xmas card/letter summarizing their year will start the description of their trip to this game “among the injured were…”
A lot better than the BTK family Xmas card/letter summarizing their year.
Or the Manson family card.
At least that one had good graphics.
That was a fucked up joke, but a joke nonetheless.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWW2SzoAXMo
Can’t wait for there to be 18 minutes of extra time.
Only?
Time for snoozies. Good Afternoon, everybody!
Don’t stay asleep too long.
Yeah, tell me about it.
Meh, you’re still alive and un-maimed.
Just barely. And only by sheer chance.
Well, squirrels can be dangerous.
Good Jerb, Minny!!!
Loved how the coach was ALL OVER how time worked on that final drive. It’s maybe a small detail, but it means EVERYTHING sometimes.
PeyPey sings!
Da-vid-Stern-has-gone-to-hell!
Hope he enjoys the warm embrace of hell
Those of y’all with dogs and cats – have you ever seen your pack hunt together? I mean, at least one dog, hunting cooperatively with at least one cat?
And if so, was the coolest thing you’ve ever even imagined?
Sort of. As I mentioned when it happened, the cat trapped a squirrel in the yard and the dog killed it. It was pretty neat, but I wouldn’t say it was “cooperative” so much in that I don’t think the cat was trying to team up with the dog at all; she was just amusing her murderous self.
Sometimes they do move in synch, though, and that is incredibly cool.
– The Squirrel
I lived in Florida for a year or so, and the house we rented had a pool with a screened enclosure around it, so I could let my 2 indoor cats out there. They stalked and killed lizards as a tag team all the time. It was kind of terrifying to watch, like having a couple of miniature lions living in my house! But it was impressive too. Usually they ignired each other, but out in the wild they were fierce predators!
Ignored, damn it!
yeah, I find my two cats hunting in “V” formation to be very cool, indeed.
JV broadcast Balls suggested search:
the slot for Johnson
You’re just gonna get a bunch of Boris Johnson Brexit jokes.
Little Johnson.
Heckuva 1st half for the North Londoners.
Even bk knows they ain’t blowing this’un
/he will now murder Hippo if they do
There is still time…. As long as the final whistle hasn’t been blown, WE CAN STILL ARSE THIS
LOOK AT YOU, MINNY11111111111111111111111
Happy DFO Gooners
[wishes he could have just one more Goonie adventure] – Eli Manning
IT’S UNSTOPPABLE!!
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EMzuRh1WsAIHDjv?format=jpg&name=large
EPL suggestion for Balls’ pronhub searching:
ball retrieval work
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/ENNTAapXYAEc2ct?format=jpg&name=medium
it’s a good doggie hunting party!!
I love the second dog…
I got you bro, i got your back….awww fuck I’m outta here.
Frat boy in an actual bar fight. Well, the dog is actually cool.
it’s a good kitties!!!
oh, bk gon’ drank
Never let yourself believe…. You believed against dem bastards last game and you remember how that ended, riiiight?
the worm HAS to turn eventually, and at least offer the chance to show your arse in front of the dear wife 😀
Actually I’d take a ManUre win (preferably one earned with a penalty) to an Arsenal win tbh, ’cause that will surely led to mrs.bk109 consoling me 😀
Agreed; cold analysis is best, but don’t put it in the freezer to cool quicker, then pass out.
Have you ever thought you were tired of drinking but previous drunk you put a beer in the freezer for you to drink? Not a big fan of previous drunk me right now…
It’s not even my freezer and I’m SMGDH.
*Has done this multiple times.
Same… Tipsy/drunk/sleepy me also has the nasty habit of ordering me some cigars to go with my drankin’ despite me having a standing new year’s resolution of quitting smoking 😀 Speaking of which, I sooooooo want to light one now Waaaaaaaaaah
I used to do this on purpose with weed. I’d hide a half-gram nug here or there, assuming I’d forget about it, then when I’d find it later it would be a nice surprise. My friend called it hee-hee weed
At least it was weed.
Outdoor hockey in Dallas is the worst idea in that city since JFK decided to put the top down.
Third worst.. Second worst was Mrs. bk109’s decision to eat some Taco Bell on a cross-continental road trip XD
Wait, Waaaaaat?
To be fair it’s hard to find good Mexican food in…(checks notes) TEXAS!?
I know, dude, I know. At least y’all can rest assured that I reminded her of her poor choice every time she begged me to find a rest stop onwards XD
Yeah, That’s bad.
All these Minnesota fans in Tampa. My god, the sunburn clinics are going to be overwhelmed.
I need 35 cc’s of aloe, stat!
Soooooooooooo much area to burn.
I have awakened still drunk and somehow not hungover. This is a great start.
You’re in the sweet spot. Don’t fuck this up.
I have administered some water and weed. And there is talk of a chorizo scramble. Things are improving.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NXrEFp2TOT8
Fish tacos and a 6-7% ABV IPA, repeat as necessary.
I am not a doctor.
And yet, somehow my insurance will pay you.
Auburn D bought the fake . Minny up 17-10.
h
ttps://media.giphy.com/media/lqjC65a3J3mVxzHX3J/giphy.gif
Linked for size, unless you are triggered by MAGA fright.