In this time of…well whatever we want to call it. Let’s say “Teh Viruhl Threat”? And with the social distancing thingy, etc. It’s easy to become complacent and just nap on the couch while watching documentaries and game shows.
(stop looking at me like that)
((OK fine, yes that’s mostly what I’ve been doing))
(((jerks)))
But still, it’s important to stay healthy in other ways as well. And it can be done without exposure. I ran around my house today 50 times just to get some cardio in. Yes, I’m serious. I did repeatedly trip over a tree limb which I haven’t cleaned up yet. BUT I DIDN’T FALL DOWN!!! OK, maybe I fell down the first time. NO YOU SHUT UP!!!!
Then I remembered to jump the next 49 laps. Still haven’t cleaned up the limb yet though. Fuck it.
But in all seriousness…
Your own health is important. It’s the most important. You can’t do anything for anyone else, or for yourself, if you don’t have your health. And of course that’s not always totally under our own control. Shit happens. But you can get out and even with social distancing be able to get the exercise your body needs. Or stay in and work it. Just don’t give up. It’s not easy these days. But if you can push through as best as is possible, when this passes you’ll be glad you did.
–
Excercising Your Rights As A Sports Fan
Still not much to get excited about. But let’s try.
NFL
Grading the 2020 NFL Draft. Top to bottom according to CBSSports.
- Ravens
- Vikings
- Broncos
- Dolphins
- Bengals
- Raiders
- Cowboys
- Rams
- Jets
- Chiefs
- Eagles
- Patriots
- Panthers
- Browns
- Giants
- Jaguars
- Buccaneers
- Cardinals
- Lions
- Colts
- 49ers
- Bills
- Falcons
- [*Redacted] s
- Titans
- Texans
- Saints
- Steelers
- Seahawks
- Bears
- Chargers
- Packers
I don’t necessarily agree with this order. I think the Bills, Titans and Panthers (ugggghhhh) did better than they’re being given credit for. But I do think the Ravens killed it. Suck it rest of the AFC North. Now, when Harbaugh fucks it up it’s not the players’ faults.
MLB
Yep, they’re still trying to figure things out. Now we’re talking about three different divisions with ten teams each. Arizona, Tejas and Florida still on the table. Yeeeesh. That should work well.
And of course, when they ran the simulations of this scenario, the Orioles finished dead last every time. Some things never change.
NBA
LeBron James now appears to fancy himself as an epidemiologist.
NHL
And finally, in a simulated post-season, my Caps went down to Carolina in the opening round, 4 games to 3. Yeah, sadly that sounds pretty accurate.
But congrats to Calgary for your fake championship. Fuck you Boston.
Aaaaaaaand then there’s this…
NCAA BB
Same thing happened last year. Can’t catch a break.
–
OK Let’s Get A Workout
(that means two things)
Enjoy…
And of course, don’t forget to get your cardio in…
Yep that raises the heart rate nicely.
Yikes. Considering how much women seem to hate me, any girl who can kick my ass is a concern. Meh, beats going out from the virus I guess.
Have a good weekend everyone. And get your exercise in.
Love ya’s.
–
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FghJKjdEVDA&t=38s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fBX0XuDLEIs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPKTQkkK3YM
Boo, scotch is now gone.
Eighteen minutes? How big was the bottle?
Rikki is a professional; never doubt that.
He should be back tomorrow; you need darkness to dig in the yard.
Yay, time for scotch.
Just to be clear; she could be missing out on a lot of fine dick because she can’t play the piano.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ur30bn_3G58
Live your dreams!
One of the Canadian movie channels is giving me Animal House, Slap Shot & Smokey & the Bandit straight through to 1:00 AM. I couldn’t be happier about the lockdown or closer to alcohol poisoning.
Amazing.
Sequentially or all at the same time?
Sequentially. It’s the best life under the lockdown.
All at the same time with those would also make a great mash-up.
Joe Tessatore co hosts a mini golf show on ABC. Clearly he owes someone a favor.
Well, if you are going to open a beach.
Everything is turning green and I have not done shit in the yard.
That is kinda nice.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09LTT0xwdfw
Love me some George.
I’m amazed that so few people know that this is a thing. I really hope that now that TX is “reopening” the day after they had their highest body count, that the people that really deserve to get infected actually do, and that they all fucking die horribly. My “you deserve it” attitude is definitely Republican, but you know, just fuck it.
I’m right there.
https://youtube.com/QEYcfHoWm2s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QEYcfHoWm2s
Ayo, what am I doing wrong?
You’re using the short url (youtu.be) instead of the long one (youtube.com)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vloau30iRw
Just click the video to see it.
Scrubs seems to be one of those few shows that really didnt die in its last season. And no I’m not counting that “final season”, the stuff with the interns was a spinoff
Is Scribes that show about monks in the 700s?
Getting a little close to home.
Sure. Becomes it makes total sense for my auto correct to think scribes is a word.
I’m just amazed you didn’t answer with a gif
I have failed Brocky once again.
GUESS WHO BOUGHT MORE BEER THIS MORNING?
Me. I did. And I’m drinking some of it now.
I stopped drinking beer back about 6 years ago. But I did not stop drinking.
Hope this posts, poor guy
https://youtu.be/flVcaAJoORQ
And put of all the potential victims of covid-19, I never thought my slight wordpress skills would be one of them.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=flVcaAJoORQ
So no poker I guess. Game shows it is.
I would if I could.
As would i
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1ZtaaFZDcI
Yowza!
You guys see that footage of Tyson doing a little training today?
I’ve decided NOT to call him a pussy to his face.
…D…5?
Did the front fall off?
This is the USS Pittsburgh (CV-72). Her bow tore off in a typhoon in 1944, yet the ship remained watertight, and the 105′ bow section remained afloat and was salvaged. The floating bow section was nicknamed the USS McKeesport.
The bow is the front part.
How starboard you are.
Which side is the arrow part?
As the LPO of Repair Locker 4 on my ship, and later as the only dungaree-clad member of my ship’s DCETT team, I applaud the Pittburgh’s badass Damage Control team.
Gumby loooved him some damage control! He was on all of the teams, and they always trotted him out when they were having inspections like ORSE and such
I was a bored MR attached to R Division with all the HTs (Handlers of Turds). I re-wrote the DC manual for my ship, which, along with my making a few critical parts for the helos embarked on my ship, contributed to my getting a Navy Achievement medal. Not a usual award for a junior enlisted.
My ship is currently serving as a reef in 15000 feet of water off the coast of Hawaii.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/USS_White_Plains_(AFS-4)
NAM’s were hard to come by. Gumby wrote a procedure that the Navy uses to this day, that saves them millions. It was a way to use divers to replace transducers on submarines, so they could just do it at the pier rather than have to go into drydock. His civilian boss took credit for it, and got a huge cash bonus. Gumby got a letter of commendation, and a fucking coffee cup!
I love Navy talk. We have a group of various USN vets who get together every Friday (at the wine bar previously, now on Zoom), from a 34 year CMC to a 24 year vet that was a 12 year ST chief that got sent to school for nuclear physics and got his commission and SWO and was a Navigator on a gator freighter to lowly me as an MR2. If your hubby would like to join, we are always looking for guest visitors. Lemme know, [email protected], I’ll give him the Zoom details. also, [email protected]. y’all are more than welcome.
Anchors Aweigh!!
As a YInzer, I appreciate this joke!
I guess they set Condition Yoke as required.
Hippo! As the resident sim/manager person have you been following the Dream Bracket dealie?
Ted Buckland (aka Sam Lloyd) from Scrubs died a of a brain tumor, and now Joe Pantolino (aka Ralph Cifferretti from Sopranos) has been critically injured a car crash.
People ask why I drink so much…
I have some bad news about JFK…
And Avril Lavigne…
And RFK and MLK
They closed the Cinnabon there???
The manager, Gene, just up and disappeared.
Dammit. Gene and his meth issues.
Who cares? It’s just Omaha, after all.
2020 is the Cleveland Browns of years. Every time we think it’s reached peak suck, it finds a way to get worse.
Damn, so that joke about him having Ted’s bad luck IRL wasn’t a joke.
Also, I find it odd that out of all of Joe’s movie roles you went with a television one. Still a good role, but odd….
And apparently he was Christopher lloyd’s nephew. Never knew that
Not that I was ever particularly healthy, but I’ve noticed two particular developments.
I had the freaking kidney stone two weeks ago, can only assume I’ve been cutting back on my water trying to sustain myself with short term energy boosts from sodas and other junk food, really don’t like going to the grocery if I can avoid it…..
And I’m having the worst acne outbreak I’ve had since middle school, and I’m in my 30s.
This sucks. I can’t hit the gym, and I’m more sedentary than ever.
Anyways, here’s some sexiness.
I’m betting this is due to your water intake. If you drink more water, the issues should go away.
Oh definitely, and that’s the what the doctor said.
That being said my family is cursed when it comes to then. My mother has had a lot of them She even had one in high school back in the 70s when there wasn’t a shit ton of sugar in everything.
My first one was in high school as well, and the only one I can identify with a particularly gluttonous intake of mellow yellow (it was spring break and I stayed up all night gaming.)
People my age or older pound energy drinks and dont have to deal with them, but yeah I could do better.
This was definitely the most painful stone yet. I did everything I could to avoid going to the hospital, even taking some old hydrocodones, but eventually it was too much. This one was I felt through my front rather than my back, and according to doc that’s because its traveling “in a more sensitive area”
Anyways, that’s enough brocky pity party for now
Also, you can do this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cfetualiJqs
The ad before the video was for manscaping. Either god is dropping gigantic hints about what to do with my life or I’m being personally attacked.
I can do him?
I have survived another week.
God I fucking miss smoking. I also just realized that Drew now writes for Vice now.
That is depressing. I mean he was neutered like hell before Deadspin imploded, but reading his last fun bag…Its like helping your old man to the pisser, and you are just standing there, hoping and praying that the massive tumor that is now his prostate will just let the urine pass, and just a little tiny trickle comes out.
We’re prepared to offer him (checks pockets) about a tablespoon of sugar to write here for DFO. And if he wants cream…
Seeing how quickly he noped out on his fellow union members over the deadspin shit, I would not take Drew’s word on anything.
I love rich, white Americans who are pro-union until it involves them having to do something more than changing their twitter profile pic to a union badge for four days.
I keep finding more cool travel documentaries on Prime. I think I mentioned this Mystical Roads program the other day, lots of geographic diversity on that one.
Now I’ve found Great Rivers of Asia, Danube: Europe’s Amazon, and California Forever, about the history of CA’s state park system.
My cup runneth over. I hope lockdown lasts another year.
Awesome!
LOL
Shot
Chaser
Florida Grim Reaper Lawyer gonna do his thing…..
https://twitter.com/AdamParkhomenko/status/1256373961891491840
Georgia: If COVID-19 doesn’t kill you, a 16 year old behind the wheel will!
https://www.cnn.com/2020/04/30/us/georgia-drivers-license-road-test-trnd
Sherman was right.
LOL
There is an AI meme generator (https://imgflip.com/ai-meme). I’m going to spend way too much time looking at these.
Dude.
Yea that thing is tooo fun. I played around on it for like 2hrs yesterday.
Found a funny:
*walks into 7/11 back room*
God?!
GOD: Yeah
What are you doing here?
GOD: This is my office
Everyone thinks you’re in the sky
GOD: Lol what
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XAU4B4Fmhkg
You know, if I sieve this compost NOW, I will feel a lot better about getting hammered later.
What’s funny is that as soon as I sieve it, it’s going right back into the sterilization chamber anyways.
Don’t have metal stucco lathe? Just use carbon fiber stucco lathe!
Alright, so, I have two bottles of cold gin, two cases of beer, enough Chinese takeout to feed a platoon, lemonade, and a cookie pizza. Quarantine blows ass, but, I can still murder my insides.
Also, it’s dark, and you’re wearing sunglasses.
Obligatory.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X2LTL8KgKv8
Hit it.
But fix the cigarette lighter.
I’m spending my Friday night in a way that should make each and every one of you jealous: waiting on hold with Chase Bank trying to get a fee reversed.
Please tell me you have some sort of drink in hand…
No, but I made a deal with the universe that if I get it reversed, I’ll allow myself to get shitfaced tonight.
GUESS WHO’S GONNA GET LOADED?
I believe in you! I got Spotify to reverse 14 months of charges, I was pretty damn proud of myself!
Shes got a hell of a pipe cutter if you know what I mean
Gets plenty of work doing the trim job at bris ceremonies throughout Westchester County, as well. Rabbis HATE this.
So, would you say the Orioles have them right where they want them?
/I will hang up and listen.
Nowhere to go but up. Even if only slightly.
Good work, tWBS…but since this was the house you circled, maybe up it to 100 next time:
At least I could stop halfway through and take a shit.
I do love me some fit women. Great job, tWBS!
Hey at least the Caps didn’t lose in 7 to their usual playoff foe:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YSCC3gwHhPU&t=36
Is that a little girl or a dwarf?
Oh hell yes.
So, what the fuck, Huntington Beach? You want to play Beach Covid Bingo like Florida and Georgia? Thought people might be a little more sensible in SoCal.
There’s a lot of dumbasses in HB. Or have you not heard about the riots at the OP Pro/US Open of Surfing/Vans Pro/whatever they’re calling it now?
Plenty o’ white supremacists there too. It’s the Florida of the OC.
I’m as big of a covid doomer as you are going to find, but beaches are actually some of the least risky areas, in my opinion. Indoor spaces where people are doing a lot of talking/singing – church services, concerts, sporting events – are the most dangerous, in my opinion.
Protest marches are probably a little risky too.
Dockweiler Beach is right down the street from me and it’s closed. On a busy you are not in danger of being within 600 feet of another person, and even then they would be in a passing car up on the bluff or in a jetliner leaving LAX directly overhead.