Sexy Friday, June is also a girl’s name edition

Enough has been said about protests and all that, so I won’t discuss that subject.

Most of the major European soccer leagues are returning soon. Sports are slowly and surely restarting, which is a good thing.

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Sprots News

By this time next week, AFL will have already played the first games since March! I can feel my excitement growing every day. Those of you that are International Members have the Watch AFL package with your membership and can watch through their app.

If you’re not a member, you can still get the Watch AFL app and catch every game. Most games are on the weekends going from the evening to the early morning in North America. Don’t forget to join the Tipping Contest pool!

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Without further ado, here are this week’s dirty dirty Tik Tok girls. Enjoy:

That’s a good use of face masks…
This should become a meme.
More masks, this time pink.
Twins!!
White scrunchy is distracting.
Hi! I’m Plenty. Plenty O’Toole!
There’s something about a girl that wears leopard skin patterns.
Belly button piercing? Check.
I’m not lil after looking at that.
Exercise is important!
I really should put in a pool…
Nice tongue action.
I Want Candy – Bow Wow Wow
You read it here first: Undercleavage is now a thing.
Time for some milk!

***

And now, the next episode of our new feature!

As I mentioned before, I’ve decided that I must take up the mantle that tWBS ran with and help to make this world a better place. I will do this in the one way he couldn’t: By introducing you to good music!

My aim each week will be to showcase a tune or band from the 80s (the best decade EVAR!) that not many people know about or have heard of. In this way, hopefully these artists will find new audiences and the old audiences can reminisce about what they were doing in the 80s.

Today’s band was named after Mark Sanchez’ theological philosophy. I speak, of course, of Heaven 17.

They were a trio from Sheffield that released their first album in 1982, like last week’s band. I was in middle school then and I was fully embracing the new wave sounds coming from the UK. The first song that was played on the radio (KROQ here in LA and a handful of stations around North America that played new wave back then) was “Let Me Go”.

Heaven 17 – Let Me Go

It was the 12″ remix, however, that would stick in my brain. I absolutely love songs that go 2 minutes in without saying a word. Pure instrumental and danceable bliss:

Heaven 17 – Let Me Go 12″ remix

Again, I invite you to imagine a Young Balls in a dark middle school gym dancing with a cute girl while the long version of “Let Me Go” played. Those are great memories.

Heaven 17 would have another minor hit in Los Angeles with a song called “We Live So Fast”. I’m not really sure if it was all that popular elsewhere.

The band started getting involved in collaborations with other artists and didn’t release another album for a long time. By then, the New Wave days were gone and other styles were in vogue. However, for those two brilliant years of 1982 and 1983, Heaven 17 shone like the stars in the….

Sorry.

***

That’s all for this week, folks! Be good to each other and try to maintain the social distancing so that cases/deaths don’t spike and the easing of regulations doesn’t stop. See you next week!

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ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
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Horatio Cornblower

What are the odds that the new season of Queer Eye ends with the gang helping a senior citizen from South Carolina come to terms with recent developments in his personal and professional life?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450

Is it just me or have bottles of wine gotten smaller?
[cracks open 4th bottle]

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ThurberHerder

NSFW (gore)

litre_cola

That’s just good hustle

SonOfSpam

/slaps herodotus450 on the ass, hard
//hand is covered in poopy Merlot

Redshirt

Boy, I miss football. What vintage Super Bowl is NBCSN showing tonight?



Fuck Football.

Brocky

Without even looking….. I’m gonna say either 1989 or 2005 wildcard

herodotus450

Or the pre-season game in Detroit where Ki-Jana Carter got hurt. Or the draft where they picked David Klingler. Or really any NFL moment, ever.

Redshirt

1989 Super Bowl. I tried to watch it, but I just couldn’t. Its like an extended cut of the end of the 2016 Wild Card game, only with less stupidity and more heartbreak.

Spur

Vodka is not bad

Sharkbait

Vodka is your friend

Redshirt

With benefits if you drink enough of it.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Mint julep time!

Dunstan

It’s Sazerac night at Fort Dunstan

Brocky

comment imagedeliverynetwork.com/astonishingspanishelephant

Horatio Cornblower

Finally sat down with the first beer of the evening.
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herodotus450

Bill OR: “Dicks go in, dicks go out, that’s what makes it an ass!”
Lindsey G.: “Interesting…”

Horatio Cornblower

I’m following that with some interest.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I think by now you can drop the Lindsey and just go with Lady.

SonOfSpam

Thanks for the Heaven 17 songs. GREAT GREAT stuff. Oh, and the cam whores.

Brick Meathook

Bernie could have been our first woman President, if only he had gotten anyone to vote for him:

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WCS

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Gratliff

Are the marines the first branch to do an outright ban of all confederate flag imagery? If so, that’s surprising, even if it is in the context of creating a more unified group of psychopaths.

herodotus450

Well it’s understandable that the Air Force doesn’t want to erase their deep historical connection to the Confederacy.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Well, there is a bit of the old “heritage” thing that could be invoked.comment image

Brick Meathook

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Spur

Reminder – Cowboys drafted CeeDee Lamb as payback for the Eagles taking Dallas Goedert and joking about it at the podium.

Double J doesn’t forget.

Gratliff

Would be hard to as he’ll be reminded of it every time Goedert catches a TD

Horatio Cornblower

So 3 times a year?

Gratliff

Well, he had 160 yds and 2 scores against just Dallas last year, so I’m sure his numbers against actual competitive teams will start to improve as well

Horatio Cornblower

/shakes fist in impotent rage

DAMN YOU!!

Spur

Lindsey Graham gonna get outed this weekend. Lady G deserves every bit of this. Hateful bitch.

Sharkbait

Do I care that he’s (probably) gay? No

Do I care if he’s an asshole? Absolutely.

Brick Meathook

But do you care about his asshole?

Also, tell me how a Senator is going to be outed in the future.

Spur

Am hearing alot of Bears Otter and Twinks got paid to care about his asshole.

Brick Meathook

Where did you hear this? Down at the gay bar? (there’s nothing wrong with that)

SonOfSpam

Sister-in-law lived near the Silver Fox in Long Beach. Never went in there, but it was a solid name for a gay bar.

Spur
Brocky

I don’t know how quite to phrase it eloquently, but I will think less of those who are in fact gay and use a position of power who use said position to further an Anti-LGBT agenda, whether it be directly or not

Brick Meathook

So you hate gay people? That’s wrong, dude.

Dunstan

Are you being deliberately obtuse, or does it just come naturally?

Brocky

Go back to your face swapping app!

Brick Meathook

Oh lighten up you two

Dunstan

If I misinterpreted you, I apologize. But you’ve been lecturing everyone so much on what they should and shouldn’t post recently that it’s hard to read you charitably.

Brick Meathook

Hi Dunstan

It’s because everyone else is lecturing I just like to point out hypocrisy and remind everyone that this is all about comedy here. We’re all friends (and we’ve actually met so we’re not internet bots – not yet anyway)

Brick Meathook

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Brocky

So….. it’s her birthday next week.

https://twitter.com/KateUpton/status/1235992911793147904?s=09

Brocky

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herodotus450

Why’s she wearing those, movie theaters are closed.

Horatio Cornblower

They help pick up the signals for the Astros hitters.

Brick Meathook

She’s married to this guy:

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

FACT! Actually, not that far off.

Mr. Ayo

She needs a present. I think I’ll send her a jizz rag.

Spur

Theory. All this civil unrest is really marketing for the new Run The Jewels album.

Spur

Folks

litre_cola
Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brocky

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Dunstan

If she keeps rubbing that sword like that, it’s not getting any less hard.

Well, actually, I guess eventually it will. Carry on….

Brick Meathook

Wow, them Tik Tok gals sure love that Face App! Let’s have some more Sexy Friday Fun with Face App:

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Tom Brady and Drew Brees need more attention.

Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Gracias.

Brocky

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Brocky

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Don T

I endorse this celebrity message
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Unsurprised

I have a bunch of images but eh

Unsurprised

Buffalo PD union literally breaking out the “simply following orders” line.
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Sharkbait

I’m pretty sure the “I’m just following orders” defense was pretty much decimated in a courtroom in Nuremberg in 1946

Viva La Tabula Raza

In the vernacular: “Zey vere chust following orderSS.”

Senor Weaselo

Also spelled “orderß”

Senor Weaselo

According to the mayor just now, if they didn’t resign from that assignment the PBA would turn their back on them.

Yes, those dastardly bowlers.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Him falling down was less upsetting to me than the fact that they ignored the fact that he was hurt. It was very clear that “helping” was something that never even crossed their mind.

Dunstan

+1000. If you didn’t mean to hurt someone and you see they’ve hurt themselves in reaction, you stop and help. Cops are such fucking liars.

It’s never really bothered me that people hate lawyers so much, make jokes about how we’re all unethical, how we should all be dead, etc. But I really would like to see the day when cops get the same disdain. Fuck this post-9/11 “they’re all heroes” bullshit.

Unsurprised

The first girl’s TikTok page https://www.tiktok.com/@brianne.renee

rockingdog

Found a funny:

I refuse to wear a mask into the store. “Ma’am, we can’t let you in here,” one of the associates explains. I storm off in a huff. The year is 2005, and I am once again too ugly to buy cream cheese

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Happy Friday!

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Viva La Tabula Raza

I wonder if Disney sent out a cease and desist memo to Broccoli.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G5aiJH0R92s

Viva La Tabula Raza

Weird, I was reading about Human League on Wiki today because I ran across this:
https://www.stereogum.com/2086575/the-number-ones-the-human-leagues-dont-you-want-me/franchises/columns/the-number-ones/
And for here for the second time in one day I hear about this band called Heaven 17, who I don’t really remember hearing of in the day. In my defense, I was floating around the Indian Ocean on a ship that didn’t have a radio at the time of their popularity.
But really weird for them to pop up twice in one day.comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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rockingdog

LOL truth

John Boyega literally played a cop that quit the force in Star Wars.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450

Two of my favorite things in one video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z6vp1ucVg_E

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Sharkbait

I think this year is my 3rd or 4th AFL tipping contest. I still have no idea what the fuck I’m doing

Dunstan

#Lady G is trending on Twitter.

There ain’t enough popcorn in the world.

Don T

With the government losing credibility, the escorts came through.

SonOfSpam

Enjoying it SO. MUCH.

It’s 2020 and no one cares if he’s gay. Anyone who knows who he is already assumed as much.

Still.