Ladies and germs, I know I won’t be the first to, but please allow me to wish you a very happy and hopefully safe 4th of July! I am your Low Commander of the Super Soldiers, and I want to apologize to the Commentists at large for my general lack of writing and commentering. I never would have thought that being unemployed would lead me to be busier than I ever have in my life, but here we are. That being said, DFO is very much my home, and I am thrilled to see how much we have been thriving during the madness that we are all living through these days. That being said, I can’t wait to get back to writing about beer, video games, sports and whatever you consider my BOLTMAN tirades to be.
The 4th of July is one of my favorite holidays, not because of some misguided sense of #branded and faux patriotism, but because of the general activities that come with it. Getting together with your friends, going to the pool/beach, watching fireworks and grilling with a beer in your hand. Unfortunately, all but one of those things have either been canceled or made to be an extremely stupid act this year. In their infinite wisdom, the county of San Diego have not closed the beaches this weekend, whereas nearly every other coastal county has. That means every Zonie in the state are on their way here, not to mention Ventura through Orange County. This was taken yesterday:
On top of that, pools are closed, fireworks are canceled and seeing friends puts them at risk, so I’ll just be sitting here grillin’ and drankin’
What’s on the agenda for you all today? I will be at Lady Commander’s with her and the boys, cracking a beer a little sooner than usual, and making something to go with the “German Wieners” I picked up yesterday. Here’s a hint:
In lieu of fireworks, please enjoy this mishap from 2012 where San Diego set off all of their fireworks off in 15 seconds.
Alright, that does it for me today. Get to having fun and remember to stay home and safe today. Let us know what you’re drinking, grilling, and listening to to celebrate America’s birthday. ‘MURICA!
80’s night!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=opkzgLMH5MA
-Are your sex desires abnormal?
-They consume most of my time.
-Normal
Local amateur fireworks have escalated.
It’s noisy as fuck out there.
There you are! You watching your Dockers?
I am. Not half time yet.
Fremantle by one at the start of the final quarter
I’m on delay!
We look good today!
I actually really could go for some Hungry Jack’s right about now.
Right?!? So much better than what we have!
Isn’t it just Burger King with a different name?
I always find it distracting, so I like to eat first.
This game is bananas
I cannot believe this game is tied right now.
[Don McNabb stirs …..]
When you hear Donovan McNabb clear his throat, you might want to take a step back.
Who says behinds aren’t worthwhile?
lol Dockers.
Damn, I really need a haircut
Yes, she has a huge bush.
Do I get extra credit for trimming that?
The scene at Casa Deadly right now.
–
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f96p-IhcZhQ
“Frampton Comes Alive!”
Double shot!
Oh. My. God. They missed ANOTHER one.
Blair Walsh is shaking his head right now.
This is quite humorous.
Adelaide: 9 shots, 14 points
Fremantle: 7 shots, 32 points
Update please ?
I love those Aussie commercials! I’m really disappointed the US McDonald’s don’t have a burger with fried cheese.
“Heh heh heh.” – Andy Reid, patting himself on the back for having the foresight to bring some of his own.
AKA the price of 100 shares of DFO stock.
I love the Australian devotion to the mullet.
The comedy of errors and fumbles in this contest is like watching a Jets game. But which of these teams is the Jets? The Crows, I guess, simply because they are losing by fourteen points shortly after halftime.
Yes, I’d say this is a classic Jets-Dolphins matchup.
My neighbors are really outdoing themselves with the fireworks tonight. Even the Korean Moonie church is getting in on the action.
Hey baby. Does the buck stop here, or here, or… Here.
Aw man, all I’m getting are American ones, like for Rocket Mortgage and such.
Those AAMI gals are quite gorgeous…
Have you seen Aussie Toyota Jan?
Well I certainly wouldn’t kick her out of…bed? Do they sleep in beds in Australia?
–
I was at half mast thinking about a mulleted AFLW player. Thanks for ruining that fantasy.
I’m not seeing a stash here. Just the mullet.
My eyes are down under mate.
I was just making an excuse to post that picture. New rule approved.
I love that picture.
That’s enough Twitter for today.
ESPN is so desperate for content that they’re showing live rugby from New Zealand, which really takes me back to when ESPN was just starting out, and were so desperate for content that they were showing live rugby from New Zealand.
Which was far better than the yelling head/ hawt taek shit…..
Oh absolutely.
This Crows-Dockers game is pretty much the NFL equivalent of a Browns-Bengals matchup.
I liked that sequence where they kicked it to the opposing team like three times in a row…
I liked even better when the announcers went, “And now we know why these two teams are 0-4”
Yup, that exact sequence was what inspired me to say something.
That’s a great article!
I hope Yeah Right is watching this game…
My wife, an avid metal dectorist, found this in my brother’s gf’s yard while the rest of us were taking a hammer to an extremely well-developed lobster:
Suffice it to say, eyebrows were raised.
He’s a Trump voter?
God no.
Turns out it’s an Boy Scout medallion from 1910-1914. One of the things we found on the internet starts out with “Before the Nazis ruined the swastika…” which, yeah, really wasn’t the most important thing the Nazis ruined.
“Yeah, it really was a shame they ruined the concept of a master race.” – some random Mensa member
Here’s a bunch of school children doing the original and vastly superior, yet still kind of shitty pledge
“I pledge allegiance to my Flag and to the Republic for which it stands, one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all”
No “under God”?
The Eisenhower presidency was mildly problematic
As was the original pledge in hindsight. It was pushed as part of a 400th anniversary of Columbus’ “discovery”, but I’m not gonna fault them for failing to Google it first
That discovery of Watling Island really tied the whole continent together, man.
No Russian has ever been able to handle American cash since. Never underestimate magic.
Maybe they’re just big hockey fans
Yikes.
Ok, I’ll bite—what’s a zonie?
Arizona covid zombie
Just looked it up. Turns out Mr. Ayo is right.
You doubted me? Forsooth!
Thank you. I’ve no idea either.
Sausage and peppers? Sausage and peppers.
Sausage and peppers!
Subscribe
Dockers v Crows on FS1!
I’m rooting for upside down rouges!
There we go!
On a 20 step run up!
Wooooooooo!
(5 minutes until lady bfc vetoes this)
Practically looks human, in his suit on the beach!
Dogs are doing better this year. No spontaneous shits on the floor when I come back from the kitchen. I, however, am doing much worse, and am considering the same tactic at the neighbor’s house.
Just got back from a socially responsible seafood boil at my brother’s. He lives in Willimantic and, Jesus Christ, one the Sun went down you’d have thought we were in Beirut in 1986.
He and his gf also wanted margaritas, so I tried to make them, only to find out they had tequila and lime-ade, and salt, and nothing else. That is not, I repeat not, a good drink.
Thanks, Dick.
He loves him some Dick.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that…
The Dick.
There are a LOT of parties going on in our neighborhood. Gonna be extra nice to the animals tonight.
They have one of the biggest firework shows in the country here every year, and somehow, I think the bored masses are still outdoing it tonight.
Tonight on Svengoolie: Billy the Kid vs Dracula.
$10 on the vamp.
It’s a half-dead John Carradine. I think Billy takes him down.
So in order to avoid the Rona, don’t smoke other peoples cigarette butts? That was a major source of Tomsulas income.
back to the plasma centre FOAR Jimmy!
I KNEW I shouldn’t have invested heavily in the roach tins market!
There was no el bristol on 4 July. That is some weapons-grade bullshit.
Happy birthday to the United States of America, a dumbass idiot country that also happens to contain all of you wonderful people. Stay safe out there, friends. I care a lot about you guys.
Call it 4 July religiously, piss off all the yahoos.
Happy Fall of Vicksburg, folks
Hey! Who you calling “wonderful”?
I should’ve bought even more booze and sugar and junk food.
But I lost some weight over the last two weeks and since Thursday night I regained all that weight. So I guess it was worth it.
I also took a walk for the first time in weeks. I hate people. A bunch of places are closed down and I wish nothing was open because it’s too dangerous, but no one else cares. Anyway at least I got out of the apartment for a while but now I want sugar
Fuck this stupid country
Time to spend the 4th with a great American, a man who really understood this country: George Carlin.
Know why they call it the American Dream? Because you have to be asleep to believe it.
RIP to one of the all-time great thinkers