Your “Enjoy Now” 4th of Ju Luau Open Thread

Ladies and germs, I know I won’t be the first to, but please allow me to wish you a very happy and hopefully safe 4th of July! I am your Low Commander of the Super Soldiers, and I want to apologize to the Commentists at large for my general lack of writing and commentering. I never would have thought that being unemployed would lead me to be busier than I ever have in my life, but here we are. That being said, DFO is very much my home, and I am thrilled to see how much we have been thriving during the madness that we are all living through these days. That being said, I can’t wait to get back to writing about beer, video games, sports and whatever you consider my BOLTMAN tirades to be.

The 4th of July is one of my favorite holidays, not because of some misguided sense of #branded and faux patriotism, but because of the general activities that come with it. Getting together with your friends, going to the pool/beach, watching fireworks and grilling with a beer in your hand. Unfortunately, all but one of those things have either been canceled or made to be an extremely stupid act this year. In their infinite wisdom, the county of San Diego have not closed the beaches this weekend, whereas nearly every other coastal county has. That means every Zonie in the state are on their way here, not to mention Ventura through Orange County. This was taken yesterday:

“Bar the door and pass the ammo!”

On top of that, pools are closed, fireworks are canceled and seeing friends puts them at risk, so I’ll just be sitting here grillin’ and drankin’

What’s on the agenda for you all today? I will be at Lady Commander’s with her and the boys, cracking a beer a little sooner than usual, and making something to go with the “German Wieners” I picked up yesterday. Here’s a hint:

Fuck yeah, chili dogs

In lieu of fireworks, please enjoy this mishap from 2012 where San Diego set off all of their fireworks off in 15 seconds.

Alright, that does it for me today. Get to having fun and remember to stay home and safe today. Let us know what you’re drinking, grilling, and listening to to celebrate America’s birthday. ‘MURICA!

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers
Low Commander of the Super Soldiers is a native North County San Diegan with an affinity for the Padres, beer, whiskey, punk rock, video games and the end of days. If you eat a fish taco with a fork in his presence, you may lose your hand.
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yeah right
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Don T

-Are your sex desires abnormal?
-They consume most of my time.
-Normal

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Local amateur fireworks have escalated.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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yeah right

It’s noisy as fuck out there.

ballsofsteelandfury

There you are! You watching your Dockers?

yeah right

I am. Not half time yet.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

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ballsofsteelandfury

Fremantle by one at the start of the final quarter

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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yeah right

I’m on delay!

We look good today!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I actually really could go for some Hungry Jack’s right about now.

ballsofsteelandfury

Right?!? So much better than what we have!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Isn’t it just Burger King with a different name?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I always find it distracting, so I like to eat first.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

This game is bananas

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I cannot believe this game is tied right now.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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[Don McNabb stirs …..]

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

When you hear Donovan McNabb clear his throat, you might want to take a step back.
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Mr. Ayo

Who says behinds aren’t worthwhile?

lol Dockers.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo

Damn, I really need a haircut

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yes, she has a huge bush.

Mr. Ayo

Do I get extra credit for trimming that?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The scene at Casa Deadly right now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f96p-IhcZhQ

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

“Frampton Comes Alive!”

Mr. Ayo

Double shot!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh. My. God. They missed ANOTHER one.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Blair Walsh is shaking his head right now.

Mr. Ayo

This is quite humorous.

ballsofsteelandfury

Adelaide: 9 shots, 14 points
Fremantle: 7 shots, 32 points

Mr. Ayo

Update please ?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

I love those Aussie commercials! I’m really disappointed the US McDonald’s don’t have a burger with fried cheese.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Heh heh heh.” – Andy Reid, patting himself on the back for having the foresight to bring some of his own.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

$12 US.

AKA the price of 100 shares of DFO stock.

ballsofsteelandfury

I love the Australian devotion to the mullet.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The comedy of errors and fumbles in this contest is like watching a Jets game. But which of these teams is the Jets? The Crows, I guess, simply because they are losing by fourteen points shortly after halftime.

ballsofsteelandfury

Yes, I’d say this is a classic Jets-Dolphins matchup.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

My neighbors are really outdoing themselves with the fireworks tonight. Even the Korean Moonie church is getting in on the action.

Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

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Don T

Hey baby. Does the buck stop here, or here, or… Here.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Aw man, all I’m getting are American ones, like for Rocket Mortgage and such.

ballsofsteelandfury

Those AAMI gals are quite gorgeous…

ballsofsteelandfury

Have you seen Aussie Toyota Jan?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Well I certainly wouldn’t kick her out of…bed? Do they sleep in beds in Australia?
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Mr. Ayo

I was at half mast thinking about a mulleted AFLW player. Thanks for ruining that fantasy.

Mr. Ayo

I’m not seeing a stash here. Just the mullet.

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Mr. Ayo

My eyes are down under mate.

Mr. Ayo

I was just making an excuse to post that picture. New rule approved.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I love that picture.

Mr. Ayo

Trending in WA
Proud Boys

That’s enough Twitter for today.

Horatio Cornblower

ESPN is so desperate for content that they’re showing live rugby from New Zealand, which really takes me back to when ESPN was just starting out, and were so desperate for content that they were showing live rugby from New Zealand.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Which was far better than the yelling head/ hawt taek shit…..

Horatio Cornblower

Oh absolutely.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This Crows-Dockers game is pretty much the NFL equivalent of a Browns-Bengals matchup.

ballsofsteelandfury

I liked that sequence where they kicked it to the opposing team like three times in a row…

I liked even better when the announcers went, “And now we know why these two teams are 0-4”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yup, that exact sequence was what inspired me to say something.

ballsofsteelandfury

That’s a great article!

ballsofsteelandfury

I hope Yeah Right is watching this game…

Horatio Cornblower

My wife, an avid metal dectorist, found this in my brother’s gf’s yard while the rest of us were taking a hammer to an extremely well-developed lobster:
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Suffice it to say, eyebrows were raised.

ballsofsteelandfury

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

He’s a Trump voter?

Horatio Cornblower

God no.

Turns out it’s an Boy Scout medallion from 1910-1914. One of the things we found on the internet starts out with “Before the Nazis ruined the swastika…” which, yeah, really wasn’t the most important thing the Nazis ruined.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Yeah, it really was a shame they ruined the concept of a master race.” – some random Mensa member

Gratliff

Here’s a bunch of school children doing the original and vastly superior, yet still kind of shitty pledge
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“I pledge allegiance to my Flag and to the Republic for which it stands, one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all”

ballsofsteelandfury

No “under God”?

Gratliff

The Eisenhower presidency was mildly problematic

Gratliff

As was the original pledge in hindsight. It was pushed as part of a 400th anniversary of Columbus’ “discovery”, but I’m not gonna fault them for failing to Google it first

Horatio Cornblower

That discovery of Watling Island really tied the whole continent together, man.

Gratliff

No Russian has ever been able to handle American cash since. Never underestimate magic.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

Maybe they’re just big hockey fans
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Horatio Cornblower

Yikes.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ok, I’ll bite—what’s a zonie?

Mr. Ayo

Arizona covid zombie

ballsofsteelandfury

Just looked it up. Turns out Mr. Ayo is right.

Mr. Ayo

You doubted me? Forsooth!

ballsofsteelandfury

Thank you. I’ve no idea either.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Sausage and peppers? Sausage and peppers.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Sausage and peppers!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Game Time Decision

Subscribe

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

Dockers v Crows on FS1!

Mr. Ayo

I’m rooting for upside down rouges!

Mr. Ayo

There we go!

On a 20 step run up!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Wooooooooo!

(5 minutes until lady bfc vetoes this)

Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gumbygirl

Practically looks human, in his suit on the beach!

Gratliff

Dogs are doing better this year. No spontaneous shits on the floor when I come back from the kitchen. I, however, am doing much worse, and am considering the same tactic at the neighbor’s house.

Horatio Cornblower

Just got back from a socially responsible seafood boil at my brother’s. He lives in Willimantic and, Jesus Christ, one the Sun went down you’d have thought we were in Beirut in 1986.

He and his gf also wanted margaritas, so I tried to make them, only to find out they had tequila and lime-ade, and salt, and nothing else. That is not, I repeat not, a good drink.

Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

Thanks, Dick.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He loves him some Dick.

Horatio Cornblower

Not that there’s anything wrong with that…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The Dick.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

There are a LOT of parties going on in our neighborhood. Gonna be extra nice to the animals tonight.

Gratliff

They have one of the biggest firework shows in the country here every year, and somehow, I think the bored masses are still outdoing it tonight.

Gumbygirl

Tonight on Svengoolie: Billy the Kid vs Dracula.

Horatio Cornblower

$10 on the vamp.

Gumbygirl

It’s a half-dead John Carradine. I think Billy takes him down.

litre_cola

So in order to avoid the Rona, don’t smoke other peoples cigarette butts? That was a major source of Tomsulas income.

King Hippo

back to the plasma centre FOAR Jimmy!

The Maestro

I KNEW I shouldn’t have invested heavily in the roach tins market!

King Hippo

There was no el bristol on 4 July. That is some weapons-grade bullshit.

The Maestro

Happy birthday to the United States of America, a dumbass idiot country that also happens to contain all of you wonderful people. Stay safe out there, friends. I care a lot about you guys.

King Hippo

Call it 4 July religiously, piss off all the yahoos.

Gratliff

Happy Fall of Vicksburg, folks

herodotus450

Hey! Who you calling “wonderful”?

Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

I should’ve bought even more booze and sugar and junk food.

But I lost some weight over the last two weeks and since Thursday night I regained all that weight. So I guess it was worth it.

I also took a walk for the first time in weeks. I hate people. A bunch of places are closed down and I wish nothing was open because it’s too dangerous, but no one else cares. Anyway at least I got out of the apartment for a while but now I want sugar

Unsurprised

Fuck this stupid country

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Dunstan

Time to spend the 4th with a great American, a man who really understood this country: George Carlin.

King Hippo

Know why they call it the American Dream? Because you have to be asleep to believe it.

RIP to one of the all-time great thinkers

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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