Woo! Your Sunday NFL Football Open Thread

[turns BEST BRA EVER! admercial off]

It’s almost too much football, isn’t it? Kidding! No, it is not. TO THE GAMES!!!

Jets/Bills:

Did the Vikes front office giggle a bit when they traded the league’s best downfield wr (% of passes caught 20+ yards from LOS) to the Bills so that he could be paired with the league’s worst downfield passer? Probably. Singletary’s usage last year befuddled me-a dynamic, breakaway type back, he was used behind Gore when the latter was clearly fading. Now Zack Moss is the apple of McDermott’s and Daboll’s eyeballs. It seems that this coaching staff is in ‘Back To the 80’s!’ mode.

Fins/Pats:

I’m forced to cheer for a Pats player because I want to see Cam do well. Please shoot me.

Browns/Ravens:

So many offensive weapons on the field in this game. Should be a fun game to watch and yes, that is the first time that word has ever been uttered in the context of these two cities. Sure it’s an easy joke but… I’ve got nothing.

Colts/Jags:

Lots of debate among conservative fantasy players as to whether or not one should start Taylor. Look, the Jags have one of the worst run D’s in the league-both Mack and Taylor will have about 15 carries and a score by game’s end.

Eagles/Team:

Sanders is a goner so play Boston Scott if ya gotta. One concern is that Team has a very impressive D-line now. As always (it seems) Philly’s wr’s are nicked up-play DeSean before he joins the wounded.

Bears/Lions:

Golladay tweaked his hammy and didn’t practice on Friday. The Lions would be stupid to play him, so he’s a go? Pivot over to Hockenson, he’s my candidate for 2nd year breakout tight end.

Pack/Vikes:

Dalvin got paid! Anyway… That Minny D that one could always count on to force the issue has only 5 returning players from 2019 playing today. Reportedly, A.J. Dillon’s thighs are in action this afternoon. The fellas on the Sirius fantasy channel were gushing like schoolgirls at a K-pop concert the day the photos came out. [rolls eyes]

‘Hawks/Falcons:

Gotta love the combo of Matty Ice/his receiving options and the lousy Atlanta D. Perhaps his first 5,000 yard season is in play? He’s been very close twice before. There will be no fans at this game. By choice.

Raiders/Panthers:

Everyone is jawing about Ruggs 3 but 3rd round wr Bryan Edwards did the wowing in camp. Them Las Vegans have quite a bit of young talent at the rb/wr spots-how long before they give Carr the old boot?

There’s your first slate. Have at it.

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Spur

Are the Bills really freezing out SIngletary for rookie.

JustStopDude

This fucking mother fucking fuck shit fuck.

Wakezilla

We switched the Seahawks o line with turnstiles. Lets see if anyone notices.

Wilson is taking a beating

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Shit, Adrian Peterson is still good at smashing the middle

Beerguyrob

Sure am glad I left him on the bench.

ArmedandHammered

Whelp, that is the end of the Discord experiment, lol.

bk109

Eh, not really.. we just need to copy the North Koreans and point some AA guns at people to incentivize them to join up 😀

Fronkenshteen

“I’d better join. That thing could take out half my gut.”

Fronkenshteen

You didn’t want to hear my voice anyway. It’s even dumber than my words.

ArmedandHammered

Remember I am from the mountains of NC, and from my experience few people sound dumber than that.

King Hippo

EVERTON WOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

This is a horseshit call on Fuller

Redshirt

First “What is Catch?” moment of the 2020 NFL Season in CLE/BAL.

Gratliff

lol DirecTV is a fuck. NFL Game Pass isn’t even available in the USA anymore.

Gratliff

Me: I am willing to consider paying to watch my favorite football team disappoint me on a weekly basis every year.

NFL: no.

Doktor Zymm

Apparently my apartment is not eligible for standalone Sunday Ticket, so there’s exactly zero legal way for me to get standalone football. Fuck the NFL and all the networks.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

They’re both pretty large disgraces

bk109

Just find an alternative stream source..Arrrrrrrrrrrrright?

Last edited 4 years ago by bk109
Viva La Tabula Raza

Bar nearby?

Fronkenshteen

JACOBS

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Going for it on 4th and 7? Ok…

Trubisky throwing it behind his receiver? Not good.

That intended receiver being Tedd Ginn Jr? WHAT THE FUCK?

King Hippo

You know your kicker situation, yeah?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Hence the ok to going for it

King Hippo

/misinterpreted the “ok” 😀

Beerguyrob

Monsters of the Midway!

bk109

So… you’re saying that DaBearZ faithful will be peacefully protesting against their QB again 😀

Spur

Jesus, the Bears really need to shoot Mitch out of cannon

ArmedandHammered

You called? – Rex Grossman

JustStopDude

Replay booth. The most important part of the Browns red zone defense.

Fronkenshteen

Noice catch there by Carson City.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Newton has already broken Brady’s career rushing record for a NE QB.

The Maestro

A brave new world we’re living in here. Let’s see what happens.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Its really weird to watch Pats without Brady. We’re thru the looking glass here, people!

Last edited 4 years ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
King Hippo

Prolly can catch a JEWKAH “fastball” too

King Hippo

Brokeback QB doing Brokeback Things

Gratliff

These WIP commercials reminding me of all the worst parts of Philadelphia sports, namely the people not on the teams

Gratliff

Suddenly have a craving for Tastykakes

JustStopDude

I fucking hate Baltimore but God fucking damn is Lamar is a fucking highlight machine.

King Hippo

Lamar!

Gatoraids

Heaaaadlyyyy

King Hippo

7 MOAR minutes to hold on, Toffees

Gratliff

Née Slurs same as the old Slurs

Fronkenshteen

[windmills on guitar]

Gratliff

Jack Del Rio: *gets fooled again*

BrettFavresColonoscopy

To Brocky’s (repeated) point, that’s the kind of play bears fans would have booed Trubisky for when it wasn’t really his fault

Gratliff

The patented “Keep Throwing it to TEs” offense pays off again

blaxabbath

Took the Mrs out for a fine dining experience last night. Grandma is in town and watched blaxito so no rush to get back. I can say that I do not think I can argue that it was not the greatest dining experience of my life.

And now I’m going to try to hold down an empty stadium, no-preseason, regional slate of OAK at CAR….

clint greasewood

comment image?strip=all&quality=100&w=1200&h=800&crop=1

The Maestro

Finally found a stream. It’s getting harder and harder these days. But God, have I missed this.

bk109

*cough* https://home.nflbite.com/ *cough*

Gatoraids

Dolphins upgrading this year to Tank With Tua

King Hippo

Younghoe scoring already

BrettFavresColonoscopy

That’s what hoes of all ages do

Fronkenshteen

Don’t she always?

bk109

Time to overract for a bit .. Boy, this Cam Newton guy seems to be reaaaaally good… WE ARE WINNING THE SUPERB OWL BOYS 😀

King Hippo

Did I start Kerryon Johnson over Nyheim Hines?

SURE DID, OTHER HIPPO!!

Fronkenshteen

Hines = NuEkeler

King Hippo

oh yeah, he is on both my squadrons, I just wanted to see his workload before I “risked” it

Spur

I would love to see the confused looks on the Fat Humps supporters when Rivers orders Fish Tacos.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

“What’s a fish?”

Spur

How did they know to put frys in my burrito? – Rivers

bk109

That an euphemism for something? 😀

Gatoraids

Theyd say only manning has rhatyright

Gratliff

Née Slurs lose yardage on their first drive. The Rivera Era is over.

Redshirt

Artist’s conception of me watching the Early Afternoon Games waiting for my team to play:
comment image

Fronkenshteen

WHEEEEEEEE

Gatoraids

Fins ready to establish the punt almost paid off

BrettFavresColonoscopy

How do the Lions have more fans in attendance during COVID than during the Wayne Fontes era?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Beer in hand, let’s fucking go

bk109

Happy NFL-mas lads and lasses … Also, discord server would really be useful right about now 😀

King Hippo

Armed and Hammered did one??

bk109

Ohshit, forgot about that. Is anyone there yet, ‘coz shit talkin’ beckons 😀

ArmedandHammered

I am

ArmedandHammered

Yep, hang on a sec https://discord.gg/7vw6Aby

Last edited 4 years ago by ArmedandHammered
King Hippo

Seven HOURS!!!!

Spur

you’re supposed to go to the ER if it doesn’t go down after 2 hours

bk109

4 hours and that’s only so you can get your complimentary high-five from yer proctologist

JustStopDude

The Browns should have the edge as they have a lot of experience in empty stadiums.

Spur

Taking knees in ATL

Gratliff

Merril Reese getting halfway through the slur every time he references them before catching himself

Spur

comment image

King Hippo

I am legit touched by Scott Muthafuckin’ Hansen’s joy.

JustStopDude

Fan duel, pawnshop, and then disability insurance lawyer.

These have been my commercials. I think….I might be in a poor part of the US.

ArmedandHammered

Thank Morrigane for Redzone

The Maestro

HERE WE FUCKIN’ GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Beerguyrob

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Game Time Decision

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUO

King Hippo

20 minutes overlap, Everton prreserving 1-nil lead, 1st RedZone of the year. Expecting an imminent stroke.

Beerguyrob

EAT MOAR CHIPS!