[turns BEST BRA EVER! admercial off]
It’s almost too much football, isn’t it? Kidding! No, it is not. TO THE GAMES!!!
Jets/Bills:
Did the Vikes front office giggle a bit when they traded the league’s best downfield wr (% of passes caught 20+ yards from LOS) to the Bills so that he could be paired with the league’s worst downfield passer? Probably. Singletary’s usage last year befuddled me-a dynamic, breakaway type back, he was used behind Gore when the latter was clearly fading. Now Zack Moss is the apple of McDermott’s and Daboll’s eyeballs. It seems that this coaching staff is in ‘Back To the 80’s!’ mode.
Fins/Pats:
I’m forced to cheer for a Pats player because I want to see Cam do well. Please shoot me.
Browns/Ravens:
So many offensive weapons on the field in this game. Should be a fun game to watch and yes, that is the first time that word has ever been uttered in the context of these two cities. Sure it’s an easy joke but… I’ve got nothing.
Colts/Jags:
Lots of debate among conservative fantasy players as to whether or not one should start Taylor. Look, the Jags have one of the worst run D’s in the league-both Mack and Taylor will have about 15 carries and a score by game’s end.
Eagles/Team:
Sanders is a goner so play Boston Scott if ya gotta. One concern is that Team has a very impressive D-line now. As always (it seems) Philly’s wr’s are nicked up-play DeSean before he joins the wounded.
Bears/Lions:
Golladay tweaked his hammy and didn’t practice on Friday. The Lions would be stupid to play him, so he’s a go? Pivot over to Hockenson, he’s my candidate for 2nd year breakout tight end.
Pack/Vikes:
Dalvin got paid! Anyway… That Minny D that one could always count on to force the issue has only 5 returning players from 2019 playing today. Reportedly, A.J. Dillon’s thighs are in action this afternoon. The fellas on the Sirius fantasy channel were gushing like schoolgirls at a K-pop concert the day the photos came out. [rolls eyes]
‘Hawks/Falcons:
Gotta love the combo of Matty Ice/his receiving options and the lousy Atlanta D. Perhaps his first 5,000 yard season is in play? He’s been very close twice before. There will be no fans at this game. By choice.
Raiders/Panthers:
Everyone is jawing about Ruggs 3 but 3rd round wr Bryan Edwards did the wowing in camp. Them Las Vegans have quite a bit of young talent at the rb/wr spots-how long before they give Carr the old boot?
There’s your first slate. Have at it.
Kerrigan! #DokSPLOOSH
His career is all the more impressive given the team he’s on!
Garbage time Atlantadown
Washington investing heavily in defense finally pays off.
Philly has given up 27 consecutive football points. TO THE REDACTEDS.
2020. It’s the answer to every incongruity this year.
Not a big fan of the preseason cosplay here
Very audible “FUCK YEAH!” in the Packers game.
Seeing Sad Wentz
you have CMC and you need 1 yard. and you call that?
Sans TAWMMY, LOLphins still can’t beat Grumblelord.
But they beat them when it COUNTED!
/week 17 was all liek SPLOOSH
Yeah dolphins vodoo works best near the winter solstice ask da Bears
The Devil doesn’t stop being powerful just cause Golf Pro Faust goes to Tampa
SHORT!
Apparently this is what happens when your O-Line goes from barely holding up to barely existent. Not great.
Washington Teamsters on strike from the Factory of Sadness East
How is Wentz going to blow this. He can fumble, throw the INT, waste the clock, back breaking sack….so many options.
PLACE YOUR BETS!
-Hippo, just before orgazming
Too early for a season ending injury?
Josh Allen Over 300 yards
“Whoa. They can be that big?”
-B. Favre
There’s still 7 mins left in the Browns game. Just let it end.
Started DeShaun Watson over Arron Rodgers. Kill me.
Doesn’t even sniff my starting Kerryon Johnson over Nyheim Hines.
Also, do you play in a 6-team league??
Ok, Philly Fucks throw the ball to Ertz. hand it off to him.
Philly has given up 24 consecutive football points. TO THE REDACTEDS.
GO TEAM!
Does no one get this? Jeez….
my jokes ain’t landing neither
It’s really tough being an unrecognized comedic genius… amirite!?
Nick Foles is gonna bust through his jockstrap
Matt Ryan with 2 straight stupid decisions. That’s probably the ball game
Dobby not 4th team. Dobby like socks and TDs.
Shithead scotchy left Dobby on bench in DFO league.
Calvert Clutterbuck being an “A” has convinced me: the Islanders must lose.
Holy crap, Team showing signs of life.
Time for the Falcons to score again after the C Box goes into another prevent
DUUUUUUVAL
He might have been a shitty commentator but Gruden has this Raiders team rebuilt in less then 2 years.
uh they’re losing to the panthers.
Into a 6 or 7 win MACHINE!
Rebuilt into what?
C Hox looking to make the game interesting by going into a prevent. Now, I expect them to go 3 and out after running the ball up the gut 3 times
Also on fantasy bench? Teddy Ballgame.
You was right. Historically conservative passer.
But pass-happy coaching staff, plus bad defense, plus against the travelling across coasts Raiders…
/started The Ben, not like he’s sure thing
As a Browns fan, I have to ask, what is it like to see like a good highlight reel of your team having a fantastic season…and it’s in high def?
Ally shit is in black and white.
New City, Same Raiders
“SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY HAMSTRINGS”
Le’Veon B.
Florham Park, NY
RIDLEYDOWN!!!
DUUUUUUUUVAL???
/tanking for Trevor wrong
Its’s 6 : 38 Ravens. Switch, CBS!
-Yeah (A. Peterson, DET)
Sooooo, crown the Non-Gendereds for the NFC Least already?
Too early, they could still find a way to fritter away whatever shadows of competence exist
yeah, but 7-9 should do it, they still have a reasonable OL and great WR
Covid is gonna hit entire units simultaneously, a reasonable O-line can disappear in 2-4 weeks
I am strangely confident that the NFL protocols will work.
That’s even more optimistic than my booking an international cruise in March!
ex-wife (clinical trials manager) thinks we will have vaccine by then, you good
Still need the vaccine to be widely distributed, and other countries to accept it as a reason to open their borders. Unfortunately, I don’t think my desire to go on nice vacations makes me a high priority for vaccine distribution 😛
Why in the name of Jeebus Tittyfuck does Balmer still have Lamar! in the game?
Eagles have 1/4 of an O-line man left and it just left the field to get fluid
Gonna be a looooong season, Bears fans.
That’s what malort is for.
That and pranks.
Nice of the Ravens not to rub it in by pulling Lamar for RGIII at the start of the forth.
Still saving that nice of Cleveland to give RG3 some playing time post
We are better than a bye.
Cousins just ran like Lurch, and then threw a beyootiful td pass. He is an enigma!
Lurch could throw someone farther than anyone else on the addams family
Lot of Laviska Shenault Jr. fans in the “French Automobile Enthusiast” demographic
good Lord, Bollo. That was bad even for you.
Thank you, NFL regular season for giving me an ad for Super Young Autistic Doctor Learns How To Kiss And Feels Weird About It.
I’m too the point that I want my favorite Browns players to get traded so they have a cha chance of experiencing a winning record before they leave the game.
That was pretty much the last couple years of my Redacteds fandom. I’m now at the ‘shaking my head sadly’ phase
I forgot how many ads there were. I’m flabbergasted that people are willing to sit through this shit, yet complain about FB ads.
Haven’t seen Ben Shapiro on my TV commercials yet so has that. Also Red Zone solvers those provlems
Turn off political ads, then you just have to deal with whatever idiot friends you have sharing Ben Shapiro posts for some reason
Facebook ads look like real posts, unlike TV ads, and they’re creepily microtargeted. Also people probably spend more time on FB than watching foooooootball.
Also FB ads can’t be ad-blocked, but REDZONNNNE
Frank Gore’s super villain name is WideFace and he will use his powers to take down The Batman one day.
Truck is missing Trump and NRA bumper stickers.
By Khorne skulls for the skull thoen
As opposed to Frank Gorshin, who shared the same goal but called himself the Riddler.
Thank you for being Frank about this.
Ribs and wings for dinner tonight. Considering a non-meat option, but why?
French fries and or onion rings beckon
Given my irrational, yet undying hatred of Discount Double Check, it’s not a shocker that my only game is Pack/Vikes.
Boofalo ain’t know how to close the door/step on a neck.