Woo! Your Sunday NFL Football Open Thread

[turns BEST BRA EVER! admercial off]

It’s almost too much football, isn’t it? Kidding! No, it is not. TO THE GAMES!!!

Jets/Bills:

Did the Vikes front office giggle a bit when they traded the league’s best downfield wr (% of passes caught 20+ yards from LOS) to the Bills so that he could be paired with the league’s worst downfield passer? Probably. Singletary’s usage last year befuddled me-a dynamic, breakaway type back, he was used behind Gore when the latter was clearly fading. Now Zack Moss is the apple of McDermott’s and Daboll’s eyeballs. It seems that this coaching staff is in ‘Back To the 80’s!’ mode.

Fins/Pats:

I’m forced to cheer for a Pats player because I want to see Cam do well. Please shoot me.

Browns/Ravens:

So many offensive weapons on the field in this game. Should be a fun game to watch and yes, that is the first time that word has ever been uttered in the context of these two cities. Sure it’s an easy joke but… I’ve got nothing.

Colts/Jags:

Lots of debate among conservative fantasy players as to whether or not one should start Taylor. Look, the Jags have one of the worst run D’s in the league-both Mack and Taylor will have about 15 carries and a score by game’s end.

Eagles/Team:

Sanders is a goner so play Boston Scott if ya gotta. One concern is that Team has a very impressive D-line now. As always (it seems) Philly’s wr’s are nicked up-play DeSean before he joins the wounded.

Bears/Lions:

Golladay tweaked his hammy and didn’t practice on Friday. The Lions would be stupid to play him, so he’s a go? Pivot over to Hockenson, he’s my candidate for 2nd year breakout tight end.

Pack/Vikes:

Dalvin got paid! Anyway… That Minny D that one could always count on to force the issue has only 5 returning players from 2019 playing today. Reportedly, A.J. Dillon’s thighs are in action this afternoon. The fellas on the Sirius fantasy channel were gushing like schoolgirls at a K-pop concert the day the photos came out. [rolls eyes]

‘Hawks/Falcons:

Gotta love the combo of Matty Ice/his receiving options and the lousy Atlanta D. Perhaps his first 5,000 yard season is in play? He’s been very close twice before. There will be no fans at this game. By choice.

Raiders/Panthers:

Everyone is jawing about Ruggs 3 but 3rd round wr Bryan Edwards did the wowing in camp. Them Las Vegans have quite a bit of young talent at the rb/wr spots-how long before they give Carr the old boot?

There’s your first slate. Have at it.

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King Hippo

Kerrigan! #DokSPLOOSH

Doktor Zymm

His career is all the more impressive given the team he’s on!

Doktor Zymm

Garbage time Atlantadown

herodotus450

Washington investing heavily in defense finally pays off.

King Hippo

Philly has given up 27 consecutive football points. TO THE REDACTEDS.

Beerguyrob

2020. It’s the answer to every incongruity this year.

Gratliff

Not a big fan of the preseason cosplay here

Beerguyrob

Very audible “FUCK YEAH!” in the Packers game.

Spur

Seeing Sad Wentz
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Spur

you have CMC and you need 1 yard. and you call that?

WCS

Sans TAWMMY, LOLphins still can’t beat Grumblelord.

King Hippo

But they beat them when it COUNTED!

/week 17 was all liek SPLOOSH

Gatoraids

Yeah dolphins vodoo works best near the winter solstice ask da Bears

Doktor Zymm

The Devil doesn’t stop being powerful just cause Golf Pro Faust goes to Tampa

Spur

SHORT!

Gratliff

Apparently this is what happens when your O-Line goes from barely holding up to barely existent. Not great.

Gatoraids

Washington Teamsters on strike from the Factory of Sadness East

Spur

How is Wentz going to blow this. He can fumble, throw the INT, waste the clock, back breaking sack….so many options.

WCS

PLACE YOUR BETS!

Doktor Zymm

Too early for a season ending injury?

clint greasewood

Josh Allen Over 300 yards

Spur

There’s still 7 mins left in the Browns game. Just let it end.

Doktor Zymm

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clint greasewood

Started DeShaun Watson over Arron Rodgers. Kill me.

King Hippo

Doesn’t even sniff my starting Kerryon Johnson over Nyheim Hines.

Also, do you play in a 6-team league??

Spur

Ok, Philly Fucks throw the ball to Ertz. hand it off to him.

King Hippo

Philly has given up 24 consecutive football points. TO THE REDACTEDS.

King Hippo

my jokes ain’t landing neither

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Nick Foles is gonna bust through his jockstrap

Wakezilla

Matt Ryan with 2 straight stupid decisions. That’s probably the ball game

Doktor Zymm

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450

Calvert Clutterbuck being an “A” has convinced me: the Islanders must lose.

Wakezilla

Time for the Falcons to score again after the C Box goes into another prevent

Fronkenshteen

DUUUUUUVAL

Spur

He might have been a shitty commentator but Gruden has this Raiders team rebuilt in less then 2 years.

hippofant

uh they’re losing to the panthers.

King Hippo

Into a 6 or 7 win MACHINE!

Doktor Zymm

Rebuilt into what?

Wakezilla

C Hox looking to make the game interesting by going into a prevent. Now, I expect them to go 3 and out after running the ball up the gut 3 times

King Hippo

Also on fantasy bench? Teddy Ballgame.

Fronkenshteen

You was right. Historically conservative passer.

King Hippo

But pass-happy coaching staff, plus bad defense, plus against the travelling across coasts Raiders…

/started The Ben, not like he’s sure thing

JustStopDude

As a Browns fan, I have to ask, what is it like to see like a good highlight reel of your team having a fantastic season…and it’s in high def?

Ally shit is in black and white.

King Hippo

New City, Same Raiders

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Fronkenshteen

“SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY HAMSTRINGS”

Le’Veon B.
Florham Park, NY

King Hippo

DUUUUUUUUVAL???

/tanking for Trevor wrong

Don T

Its’s 6 : 38 Ravens. Switch, CBS!
-Yeah (A. Peterson, DET)

King Hippo

Sooooo, crown the Non-Gendereds for the NFC Least already?

Doktor Zymm

Too early, they could still find a way to fritter away whatever shadows of competence exist

King Hippo

yeah, but 7-9 should do it, they still have a reasonable OL and great WR

Doktor Zymm

Covid is gonna hit entire units simultaneously, a reasonable O-line can disappear in 2-4 weeks

King Hippo

I am strangely confident that the NFL protocols will work.

Doktor Zymm

That’s even more optimistic than my booking an international cruise in March!

King Hippo

ex-wife (clinical trials manager) thinks we will have vaccine by then, you good

Doktor Zymm

Still need the vaccine to be widely distributed, and other countries to accept it as a reason to open their borders. Unfortunately, I don’t think my desire to go on nice vacations makes me a high priority for vaccine distribution 😛

King Hippo

Why in the name of Jeebus Tittyfuck does Balmer still have Lamar! in the game?

Gratliff

Eagles have 1/4 of an O-line man left and it just left the field to get fluid

The Maestro

Gonna be a looooong season, Bears fans.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

That’s what malort is for.

That and pranks.

JustStopDude

Nice of the Ravens not to rub it in by pulling Lamar for RGIII at the start of the forth.

Gatoraids

Still saving that nice of Cleveland to give RG3 some playing time post

JustStopDude

We are better than a bye.

Gumbygirl

Cousins just ran like Lurch, and then threw a beyootiful td pass. He is an enigma!

Gatoraids

Lurch could throw someone farther than anyone else on the addams family

herodotus450

Lot of Laviska Shenault Jr. fans in the “French Automobile Enthusiast” demographic

King Hippo

good Lord, Bollo. That was bad even for you.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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JustStopDude

I’m too the point that I want my favorite Browns players to get traded so they have a cha chance of experiencing a winning record before they leave the game.

Doktor Zymm

That was pretty much the last couple years of my Redacteds fandom. I’m now at the ‘shaking my head sadly’ phase

Doktor Zymm

I forgot how many ads there were. I’m flabbergasted that people are willing to sit through this shit, yet complain about FB ads.

Gatoraids

Haven’t seen Ben Shapiro on my TV commercials yet so has that. Also Red Zone solvers those provlems

Doktor Zymm

Turn off political ads, then you just have to deal with whatever idiot friends you have sharing Ben Shapiro posts for some reason

hippofant

Facebook ads look like real posts, unlike TV ads, and they’re creepily microtargeted. Also people probably spend more time on FB than watching foooooootball.

Also FB ads can’t be ad-blocked, but REDZONNNNE

Last edited 4 years ago by hippofant
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Truck is missing Trump and NRA bumper stickers.

Gatoraids

By Khorne skulls for the skull thoen

Dunstan

As opposed to Frank Gorshin, who shared the same goal but called himself the Riddler.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Thank you for being Frank about this.

Gratliff

Ribs and wings for dinner tonight. Considering a non-meat option, but why?

Gatoraids

French fries and or onion rings beckon

Gumbygirl

Given my irrational, yet undying hatred of Discount Double Check, it’s not a shocker that my only game is Pack/Vikes.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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