Welcome back! Let’s get Week 2 off to a slambang start! [looks at teams playing] Eh, you know, gut reaction tells me this tilt should be buried among a heavy slate of games on a Sunday afternoon but there’s enough here to slake my football thirst.
TO THE GAME!
Bengals/Browns:
-I said last week that the Browns should score a bunch but they ran head-first into a high quality opponent in the Ravens and were dominated on both sides of the ball. I get it, but the game-watcher in me says, “there’s so much freakin talent on this team“. I mean, they’ll put it together. Or is the goose* of Freddie Kitchens waddling the hallways of their practice facility?
-This thorough ineptitude has led to speculation, some warranted, some not. Chucklefarts at ESPN have said that Baker might get benched. For Case Keenum? After two games? (if he doesn’t play well tonight) C’mon, that’s tantamount to giving up on the season, isn’t it? The rumour that might have some legitimacy is OBJ being shopped around. He’s not shy about shooting his mouth off/throwing bizarre tantrums and who knows what’s happening in the locker room?
-Three starters on the Browns O-line are banged up as well and two cb’s are done for. On the Cincy side, Geno Atkins and his backup are out tonight. There might be some early, sloppy play to start the game.
-Burrow was a respectable (given the circumstances) 23/36 and ran one in. I heard a nay-sayer cluck that he missed on all 5 of the deep balls he threw which is ‘not a good sign’. If memory serves, two of those balls went through the pinkies of John Brown, one being a sure td. It looks as though A.J. Green is all the way back so that’s nice-he and Boyd and Mixon should be able to do some damage.
-I guess Cleveland really needs this one, or their fans do, otherwise the refrains of ‘same old Browns’ will rain down on the heads of all that young talent. The Bengals? 0-2 is kinda expected right now so not a big deal. I’m cheering for chaos so GO CINCY!
Have at it in the comments.
*Kitchens tried to be a ghost and messed it up, as is his way.
PAWG Pound is a significant upgrade
It’s amazing how these teams both go from not being able to do shit on defense, to not able to do shit on offense.
OBJ can do lots of shit on offense
Feature not bug.
THIS JUST IN LEBRON JAMES WATCHS SPORTS
Stars, they’re just like us!
Burrows may be SPECIAL, but Sam Darnold is “special” ifuknowwhatimean
Joe Burrow is whiter than sugar over rice over Cool Whip
He looks like someone who likes to use certain choice words when playing his Xbox live.
Gosh
Golly
Consarn it!
Jeepers
Shucks
Ding Dang It
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bTBJPy20uPs
But I don’t want to feel like I am at this game….is Best Buy gonna cough on me?
What are the odds Buck stumbles and compliments Mixon for “hitting the hole hard”?
BOOOOOO
C’Mon, go for it. Give to Chubb.
Go for it; you’re the Brown’s for Christ’s sake! What do you have to lose?
I’m wondering if they disinfected the ball after Beckham’s TD
Was it grounding, or did it just slip from his tiny fingers?
?itok=jLbY41NW
Nice overlap with MAGA rally.
150 lbs., 102 w/o dat ass.
I assume OBJ is gonna show up later in this ad to deal with what happens after all the other players gorge themselves on Doritos and sauces.
well cheese sauce is very binding…
@joliet jake – your hard work is appreciated. if Mrs. Fozz see it, I’m giving her your contact info
Nice touchdown, but our defense can’t stop a leaf blowing in the wind tonight.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJMa20xXykI&ab
Man, I miss the old Wyche/Bum Philips rivalry days. Not least because I was half my current age.
Burrow, bitches!!!
I mean, Burrow is going to be something. Pretty obvious.
Hippo, you start the youngster?
Indeed I did. Really tight spiral on that score. Great vision and calmness.
Yeah, he’s good. Can’t wait to see how Cincinnati ruins him.
Jason Tatum gotta take over this Celtics game
shoot it more
Doordash is approaching, time to watch and see if the dasher reads the directions to my apartment that are in the delivery instructions, or if they decide to wander randomly around my apartment complex for ages
Our door dash guys are great, but we live in a one family house so we’re easy to find. But then again, after my kids ordered from that place the first time, I blew my fucking stack at the cost.
Seems like I am my dad. Except I was wearing underwear underneath my robe
They made some sort of deal with Chase, so I get a free Dashpass with my card and that cuts out ~$10 in fees each order. I probably wouldn’t order from them otherwise.
So how did they decide the lucky few in the stands. I’m guessing hunger game combat but could have also been just this was a normal Cleveland crowd.
Beers and Brats World Championship
Cleveland’s version of putting the homeless in hotel rooms?
Yeah they just sold the to the general public at full price so yeah….only about 6k bothered to show.
I also read somewhere that Mad Max was to have taken place in 2021.
Attending a mass gathering during a pandemic….anything to get out of Cleveland I guess.
The Browns fan cam is a regular rogue’s gallery.
Hippo’s favoUrite so far
My god baker mayfield is a shit filled douche
He should be playing for the San Diego (LA doesn’t claim that franchise) Team to carry on that torch.
Evening Folks
Somewhere in LA, BallsOfSteel got a stiffy and doesn’t know why.
“Forget Jake, it’s Butt Town.”
I want to murder that Tik Tok commercial.
And Trump just plain wants to murder TikTok.
To the tune of James Taylor’s “Fire and Rain” sing (in your head unless you want a loony bin invite) “Pumpkin and Poop”
Well, that’s some shit.
Did someone just say ‘fuck’ on the fan cam?
Alright….2020 is starting to get REALLY weird and scarey….
Mom?!?!
Nah I’m gonna let someone else take that bullet
*puts on blindfold and lights cigarette
Let’s do this.
Plenty of flair!
At least I’m not playing against ODB in the DFO league
(checks)
Well shit
Poop-down ODB
Trade him!
I’ve noticed that as I get older, I give a movie about 5-7 minutes to get my attention. When it comes to those “other movies”, I give them about 2.5 minutes of my attention
throw it 2 AJ Green
What he said
Sounds good to me.
Is that one of the Backstreet Boys?
America might be in the shitter, but goddamn do we have thousands of ways to quench our thirst.
I see the Orange (helmet) bowl is early this year. And probably the only one played
No woman in Ohio looks that good.
Well, at least I’m not playing against Chubb in Hippo’s league.
(checks)
Well shit.
Welp, time to get shitfaced.
Evergreen comment.
We;ve replaced teh Bengals with the Browns, lets see if anyone notices
So the Bengals are the Bengals eh?
Bungles gonna Bungle.
Don’t count out my clowns.
The battle of the two teams that wear Pumpkin and Poop.
this is an excellent coloUr description
Dirt Giants hit 5 home runs in the span of 6 batters. That escalated quickly.
Aaron Hicks should feel shame.
If Baker Mayfield never touches a footall, he’s the dipshit who hangs out in the gas station parking lot whistling at girls and challenging people to fight.
Then he gets the shit kicked out of him.
Then OBJ runs in and grabs said shit.