Your “Those Guys Are A Couple of Master Debaters” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

NFL News:

  • It begins: up to eight Titans players & personnel have tested positive for Corona virus.
    • It’s three new positive tests for players and five new positive tests for personnel.
      • Outside linebackers coach and defensive playcaller Shane Bowen missed Sunday’s game due to COVID protocols.
      • They now have to confirm the results.
    • All in-person activities have now been suspended until Saturday.
      • Minnesota is also being tested since they just played the Titans.
        • They say they’re clean.
        • League contact tracing identified 48 close contacts with the eight members of the Titans who tested positive.
    • All players who test positive must be cleared by the team’s physician and undergo cardiac testing.
      • Maybe that’s the real reason the Chargers’ doctor shanked Tyrod Taylor.
    • FYI – the Titans host the Steelers this Sunday, while the Vikings play at Houston.

It’s “Debate Night In America”!

Tonight is the first of the three scheduled debates between Biden & Trump. Tonight’s topics will concentrate on the political records of Trump and Biden records, the Supreme Court, the coronavirus pandemic, race and violence in cities, election integrity, and the economy. While most networks are trying to imply an image of fairness in the face of battle,

FOX already has their banner image prepared,

That starts at 9:00PM ET. People want these to be knock-down, drag-out affairs, but in reality it’s just ninety minutes of this:

followed by three-hours of talking heads making POINTS! and deciding a victor based upon pre-existing political biases. I can’t wait!


Baseball playoffs:

One sport ends; another begins.

Look! If you don’t want to watch the debate, then this is all you’ve got.

Because of the ‘rona, the baseball playoffs are being played inside a bubble. The play-in round is being held in the top-seed’s park, followed by select bubble locations for the remainder of the playoffs. The hope is that, by the time they get to the actual Series, they will be able to have 25% attendance. Here’s what’s what:

  • NLDS: Globe Life Field in Arlington, Texas and Minute Maid Park in Houston.
  • ALDS: Petco Park in San Diego and Dodger Stadium in Los Angeles.
  • NLCS: Globe Life Field.
  • ALCS: Petco Park.
  • World Series: Globe Life Field.

Globe Life Field is the new stadium in Texas, built right next to their “antiquated”, 25-year-old old Arlington Ballpark.

In short, here are the first-round matchups. Each series is only three games; first to two wins. The seedings are based on division winner, then divisional second place based on record, and then two wild-card team based on record. The 4-5 seeds are two second-place teams.

National League:

  • Dodgers (1) vs. Brewers (8)
  • Braves (2) vs. Reds (7)
  • Cubs (3) vs. Marlins (6)
  • Padres (4) vs. Cardinals (5)

American League:

  • Rays (1) vs. Blue Jays (8)
  • Athletics (2) vs. White Sox (7)
  • Twins (3) vs. Astros (6)
  • Cleveland (4) vs. Yankees (5)

Now, I don’t want to speak for everyone, but I think fact makes us root against the Astros, Yankees & Cardinals, and emotion for the Padres & Cleveland. The Astros are cheaters who deserve nothing but scorn, and the Yankees & Cardinals have the worst fans and inflated senses of their own importance. The Padres have never won, and Cleveland has the longest Series losing streak.

But, as always, you do you.


Tonight’s sports:

  • MLB:
    • Yankees vs. Cleveland – 7:00PM | ESPN / Sportsnet
  • WNBA Playoffs:
    • Semifinals – Sun vs. Aces – Game 5 – 7:30PM | ESPN2 / TSN

And I will try to remember to put the 506 maps up this Saturday. Geez, you people are so picky.

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Sharkbait

Merrick. Fucking. Garland. That is all

Recovery Whiskey

A fuck-you right out of the chute

Gratliff

Sorry, that was me

rockingdog

Biden was like
“Wow he showed up!”

Sharkbait

I really wish they would kill mics if each candidate goes over time

Gratliff

Thinking about lots of parodies to respond with

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ok, beer number two is 6.9% abv. Let’s go.

Sharkbait

Free poured vodka and seltzer water!

SonOfSpam

Currently enjoying Mike Hess “Halley’s Comet” Hazy IPA at 7%.

Let’s meet at a karaoke bar later.

Fronkenshteen

LETS GET READY TO STUMBLE!!!!

SonOfSpam

Welp, color early 2020 me surprised…really didn’t think Trump would actually show up for a debate. LET’S WATCH SHALL WE?

scotchnaut

The one thing that binds together all the conspiracy theories spouted by right wingers is the underlying expectation of failure.

Recovery Whiskey

Just the future of the free world here nbd

rockingdog

I wonder if there r gonna be any questions about pancakes

Last edited 4 years ago by rockingdog
scotchnaut

I’m on team #maplesyrup, if anyone asks.

Fronkenshteen

Why the fuck doesn’t anything except football run on time in this country?

Gratliff

Honestly, if there’s not a Ken Bone run-in, what are we even doing here?

Sharkbait

Sling has gone dark here. Even it thinks I shouldn’t be watching it

Recovery Whiskey

Is the fatter one Tiffany?

SonOfSpam

More cushion (for daddy) to push in.

Recovery Whiskey

Kornacki would make ESPN2 at midnight instead he’s the main stats guy on MSNBC

Last edited 4 years ago by Recovery Whiskey
SonOfSpam

He’s a bright spot on cable tv.

herodotus450

Can’t wait for the next round of hockey playoffs to start with TB facing off against… Toradol withdrawal?

clint greasewood

So Team Trump is pushing Biden is on Brain Viagra like the Bradley Cooper movie limitless.

comment image

Sharkbait

Also hidden ear pieces!

SonOfSpam

Doesn’t seem like they’re desperate and lacking confidence in Trump AT ALL.

Unsurprised

This is wack. I’m just going to finish Great British Baking Show

Sharkbait

If England wasn’t being run by Trump Lite, I would consider trying to transfer to my company’s London office.

Recovery Whiskey

HRC here to remind us all that it matters more to a large number of voters that someone be liked rather than be smart. See also Bush v Gore.

Unsurprised

She’s so fucking smart she got clowned by Trump.

SonOfSpam

No, dumbass voters got clowned by Trump and the media.

HAY JILL STEIN IS A GOOD IDEA.

We deserved him.

Gratliff

Gary Johnson took 4% of Trump’s votes in Michigan, and Trump still won it. More than all other third party candidates combined. It’s why I’m more nervous about Michigan than I keep being told to be.

SonOfSpam

Agree that MI has much more white trash than a state should, but Biden’ll win by at least 4-5 points.

Big issue with Trump? He has not picked up one voter from 2016. Meanwhile, a nonzero % of his 2016 voters are voting Biden. If nothing else, Dems don’t have the misogyny problem this year.

Recovery Whiskey

The job description is be well liked. Not be smartest. She is incapable of learning this. Called everyone deplorables instead.

Last edited 4 years ago by Recovery Whiskey
SonOfSpam

(shrug) They are, and there is NO ONE who was insulted into voting Trump.

He “won” because states in the Midwest with GOP leadership fucked with the voter rolls to an obscene degree, and those states all turned blue in 2018.

Gratliff

The Zoom pop up for HIllary is going to be a meme by the time I switch to the twitter tab

herodotus450

Instead of the debate I would recommend a tub of ether watching this show on netflix about Germany, Babylon Berlin. It’s got female nudity to get you interested, and just enough male nudity to keep you honest
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-LEV8lOxkQ
Plus it’s based on a book so you know it’s good.

scotchnaut

Hmmm. I’m willing to give it a try. I’ve read some good things about books.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

FACT CHECK: Possibly true

Gratliff

Could feel my brain melting as Axelrod and Santorum started shouting on eachother so switched to MSNBC and have been rewarded with fucking Hillary Clinton fml

SonOfSpam

YOU’RE FUCKING HILLARY CLINTON?????????

Mr. Ayo

Well, Bill isn’t.

Unsurprised

Only if the kid is wearing a Hillary mask

clint greasewood

I’m not a Hillary Clinton hater but MSNBC reminding people Hillary Clinton existence does not help Joe Biden.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Alright, Lady BFC and I have concluded our first debate about the debate and have decided we will start watching and reassess every 15 minutes.

SonOfSpam

Your foreplay is all kinds of weird.

Sharkbait

Don’t kink shame

BrettFavresColonoscopy

The odds that this evening leads to sex are the same as the odds Donald has ever made Melania orgasm.

SonOfSpam

I mean, he’s probably talked money with her before.

Viva La Tabula Raza

“Oh Donald I cum so veddy veddy hard!!!”

Gratliff

CNN has Rick fucking Santorum on. Sweet Jesus.

SonOfSpam

And weird asshat Van Jones!

And ABC has Chris Christie, who merely helped prep Mangolini for the debate.

So I guess I’ll be hangin with my lesbian professor Maddow.

Gratliff

Look, I’m only watching this for research purposes. If I don’t, I won’t have any idea what the 50 podcasts I listen to are talking about.

Gratliff

Would never discount its value to my personal growth

Unsurprised

Anyone who watches CNN is too stupid for Fox News

SonOfSpam

(does the math)

(double checks the numbers)

No, that’s not right.

scotchnaut

“Have you thought about dividing by pie?”

-A. Reid

Gratliff

Only in that there are no negative IQs

Gratliff

Seeing high budget political ads targeting a dude I know whose biggest accomplishment so far has been sitting on a school board for a tiny district is something else. Also, fuck him. He had it coming.

SonOfSpam

But, as always, you do you.

“Way ahead of you!” – K. Winslow, in a random Walgreen’s parking lot

Senor Weaselo

A-Rod: “Good baserunning here by Gardner.”
Brett Gardner: *running to 3rd on a ball hit to the left of him and a meh throw by Lindor is why he was safe*

Senor Weaselo

All I think as someone’s rounding 3rd to score on a double is “Please don’t hurt yourself.”

scotchnaut

“Please don’t hurt yourself” is my plea to folks that are thinking about voting Republican.

SonOfSpam

I actively root for GOP voters to inflict self-harm.

Sharkbait

Mrs. Sharkbait wants to watch the debate. I have a feeling fuckface von clownstick will say something to enrage me. I may have to hop onto Skyrim and start killing things to release the frustration

Gumbygirl

Kill all of the things!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’ve met you, so based on pigment, if you killed someone in real life, evangelicals will go fund you a few hundred thousand to help you overcome your oppression

Sharkbait

I hate the fact that you’re not joking about the go fund me

Gumbygirl

We’re babysitting Gumby’s dad who is a Trumptard, so the debate will not be shown in this house, unless someone wants to come clean up the crime scene! I’m thinking of hanging out in the hot tub until the old fella falls asleep( usually around 9ish)
He is a nice guy except for the Nazi thing, but I will never understand this, and I won’t keep my mouth shut if he starts anything. Gumby is hiding upstairs, he’s nobody’s fool. I have to make dinner, and I know where the Drano is!

Redshirt

That reminds me, thanks for helping me move my collection of blood red paint tonight between the hours of 9 o’clock and 11 o’clock. I really appreciate it.

Gumbygirl

You can count on me!

Fronkenshteen

I guess I’ll treat this debate like a Superb Owl. No pre-game. Tune in when the ball is in the air. How long can I last? I’ll be like the the soldiers at Chernobyl. I’ll just hold my breath and do the best I can till the radioactive graphite microwaves my guts into butter. Proud to be an American, boys!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

In case you aren’t already chugging whiskey and/or cyanide whilst watching: https://www.washingtonian.com/2020/09/28/washingtonians-2020-presidential-debate-drinking-game-night-one/

BrettFavresColonoscopy

If you’re an undecided voter right now, please Sylvia Plath yourself.

SonOfSpam

Gonna sit down and write some depressive poetry!

Gratliff

Oh shit. Are LiveJournals a thing again?

SonOfSpam

That’s my plan for retirement. 401K’s seem risky.

Gratliff

Apparently, it’s all owned by Russians now. They’re gonna use my old high school angst poetry to leverage me into giving away state secrets.

Unsurprised

They’re too stupid to operate ovens

clint greasewood

So Trumpito has been doing debate prep Rudy Ghouliani and Chris Cristkreme.

SonOfSpam

This fall on CBS…Fatty and the Ghoul

herodotus450

(Hmm lotta people not watching the debate, but ARE watching people watching the debate.)
Oh wow biden and trump just agreed, everyone should send Herodotus450 ten dollars tomorrow. If they both said it, you KNOW it must be a good thing to do!

Unsurprised

I didn’t know you were already a billionaire.

scotchnaut

Well, if you’re going all political now I guess I should change the sign on my front lawn from “HERODOTUS, SHOW ME YOUR UNDERWEAR!” to “HERODOTUS, SHOW ME YOUR TAX RETURNS!”

Last edited 4 years ago by scotchnaut
scotchnaut

All joking aside, I still want to see your underwear.

Last edited 4 years ago by scotchnaut
Unsurprised

Anyway, contact tracing. What a novel idea. If only there were a handful of people that controlled a literal global panopticon of every person’s location, contact, movement, and medical history that could be facilitated through the agency that invented the fucking Internet.

God almighty, we fucking deserve this.

Senor Weaselo

Al Gore why have you forsaken us to hunt ManBearPig?

Unsurprised

“ Globe Life Field is the new stadium in Texas, built right next to their “antiquated”, 25-year-old old Arlington Ballpark.”

I want all of these leagues and the owners torn limb from limb.

Right after we finish off the same with the NCAA.

Senor Weaselo

And it looks like a shed.

Unsurprised

Perfect. We don’t even need a metaphor to figure out where to take them to for their beating and torture.

clint greasewood

From Wikipedia

The city of Arlington spent $150,000 on an advertising campaign to persuade voters to approve the funding through a referendum by printing brochures, placing telemarketing calls, and planning a “Hands Around Arlington Day.”[7] On January 19, 1991, over 65% of voters approved the deal, allowing the city government to cover 71% of the costs ($135 million out of $191 million) of building the new ballpark. The deal called for the city to raise the sales tax by half a cent to go toward construction.

25 years later

The project cost for Globe Life Field is approximately $1.2 billion. The master agreement for this public-private partnership calls for a 50-50 split between the Texas Rangers and the City of Arlington, with the City’s financial contribution capped at $500 million.

Unsurprised

Texans don’t deserve the vote

Senor Weaselo

Fun fact: I like hitting in it in the Home Run Derby app, because thanks to all the power-ups my character has cartoonish power and can reach the RF scoreboard!

(Fun fact may not be fun, but it is factual.)

scotchnaut

Can’t find baby’s response to “Downtown Train”. This will have to do.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZraCfwC83Q&ab_channel=tincture0

Sharkbait
Last edited 4 years ago by Sharkbait
litre_cola

No more smoothies?

Sharkbait

Not in New York anyway

scotchnaut

Republican elected officials fave cartoon? “My Little Phony”.

Redshirt

comment image/revision/latest?cb=20140517214508

litre_cola

I plan to not watch one second but will absolutely be glued to DFO commentary.

Redshirt

Hopefully Biden has spent his time with an elite group of psychologists and psychiatrists to determine how to trigger an mentally fragile person like Donald Trump.

If by the end of the night Trump is crying and pissing himself while hysterically wailing “WHY DIDN’T YOU LOVE ME, DADDY!”, I may consider voting for him after all.

WCS

Are we talking about Donald or Eric? Or both?

Viva La Tabula Raza

Oedipus complex is when you want to fuck yer mom. What is it called when you want to blow your dad?

Redshirt

“An obligation.” – All Trump sons and daughters

Last edited 4 years ago by Redshirt
SonOfSpam

(Electra Complex)

Unsurprised

That would only occur if he had balls and the Dems actually wanted to win.

scotchnaut

I hope Biden is all out of bubblegum.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Wonder whether Biden can piss off/provoke Trump into dropping an N-Bomb tonight.

Senor Weaselo

That would make his supporters love him even more.

Redshirt

SPOILER:
comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

That’s what I figure. My neighbors are putting up even more Trump election flags and banners. Gawd.

WCS

I’d go over 12% for that.

Redshirt

So Mom’s getting a Trump sign to put in the front yard. Is that grounds to get her committed to a Old Folks’ Home?

Don T

Not yet. But start throwing “I’ll never visit you” teasers.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Do you have grandkids that you can threaten to withhold from visitation?

Unsurprised

Make sure it’s one of the ones they used to visit on 60 Minutes

Last edited 4 years ago by Unsurprised
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Just make sure she remembers to vote in person on November 4th.

Viva La Tabula Raza

The 506 posts the upcoming weekend’s games every Wednesday afternoon; I’ve never waited for DFO to re-post.

litre_cola

I thought I would have to wait longer for the master debater joke. Next up the cunning linguist.

ArmedandHammered

You all have heard of eyebrow threading for unwanted hair removal? I think i shall try scrotum barbwiring instead of watching the debate, less painful.

Don T

I’ve been rearin’* for the debate since the early afternoon.

* pantsless

Don T

Which makes up for taking a shower and brushing my teeth for a videoconf. this AM. Sheeit, I even left the cam on throughout. Can’t waste the hair gel.

Last edited 4 years ago by Don T
Senor Weaselo

Fucking Twins, you had one job. Anyway LET’S FUCKING GO wait they’re in Cleveland because they decided to lost 2 of 3 to the Marlins fuck.

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