NFL News:
- It begins: up to eight Titans players & personnel have tested positive for Corona virus.
- It’s three new positive tests for players and five new positive tests for personnel.
- Outside linebackers coach and defensive playcaller Shane Bowen missed Sunday’s game due to COVID protocols.
- They now have to confirm the results.
- All in-person activities have now been suspended until Saturday.
- Minnesota is also being tested since they just played the Titans.
- They say they’re clean.
- League contact tracing identified 48 close contacts with the eight members of the Titans who tested positive.
- Minnesota is also being tested since they just played the Titans.
- All players who test positive must be cleared by the team’s physician and undergo cardiac testing.
- Maybe that’s the real reason the Chargers’ doctor shanked Tyrod Taylor.
- FYI – the Titans host the Steelers this Sunday, while the Vikings play at Houston.
- It’s three new positive tests for players and five new positive tests for personnel.
It’s “Debate Night In America”!
Tonight is the first of the three scheduled debates between Biden & Trump. Tonight’s topics will concentrate on the political records of Trump and Biden records, the Supreme Court, the coronavirus pandemic, race and violence in cities, election integrity, and the economy. While most networks are trying to imply an image of fairness in the face of battle,
FOX already has their banner image prepared,
That starts at 9:00PM ET. People want these to be knock-down, drag-out affairs, but in reality it’s just ninety minutes of this:
followed by three-hours of talking heads making POINTS! and deciding a victor based upon pre-existing political biases. I can’t wait!
Baseball playoffs:
One sport ends; another begins.
Look! If you don’t want to watch the debate, then this is all you’ve got.
Because of the ‘rona, the baseball playoffs are being played inside a bubble. The play-in round is being held in the top-seed’s park, followed by select bubble locations for the remainder of the playoffs. The hope is that, by the time they get to the actual Series, they will be able to have 25% attendance. Here’s what’s what:
- NLDS: Globe Life Field in Arlington, Texas and Minute Maid Park in Houston.
- ALDS: Petco Park in San Diego and Dodger Stadium in Los Angeles.
- NLCS: Globe Life Field.
- ALCS: Petco Park.
- World Series: Globe Life Field.
Globe Life Field is the new stadium in Texas, built right next to their “antiquated”, 25-year-old old Arlington Ballpark.
In short, here are the first-round matchups. Each series is only three games; first to two wins. The seedings are based on division winner, then divisional second place based on record, and then two wild-card team based on record. The 4-5 seeds are two second-place teams.
National League:
- Dodgers (1) vs. Brewers (8)
- Braves (2) vs. Reds (7)
- Cubs (3) vs. Marlins (6)
- Padres (4) vs. Cardinals (5)
American League:
- Rays (1) vs. Blue Jays (8)
- Athletics (2) vs. White Sox (7)
- Twins (3) vs. Astros (6)
- Cleveland (4) vs. Yankees (5)
Now, I don’t want to speak for everyone, but I think fact makes us root against the Astros, Yankees & Cardinals, and emotion for the Padres & Cleveland. The Astros are cheaters who deserve nothing but scorn, and the Yankees & Cardinals have the worst fans and inflated senses of their own importance. The Padres have never won, and Cleveland has the longest Series losing streak.
But, as always, you do you.
Tonight’s sports:
- MLB:
- Yankees vs. Cleveland – 7:00PM | ESPN / Sportsnet
- WNBA Playoffs:
- Semifinals – Sun vs. Aces – Game 5 – 7:30PM | ESPN2 / TSN
And I will try to remember to put the 506 maps up this Saturday. Geez, you people are so picky.
Merrick. Fucking. Garland. That is all
A fuck-you right out of the chute
Sorry, that was me
Biden was like
“Wow he showed up!”
I really wish they would kill mics if each candidate goes over time
Thinking about lots of parodies to respond with
Ok, beer number two is 6.9% abv. Let’s go.
Free poured vodka and seltzer water!
Currently enjoying Mike Hess “Halley’s Comet” Hazy IPA at 7%.
Let’s meet at a karaoke bar later.
LETS GET READY TO STUMBLE!!!!
Welp, color early 2020 me surprised…really didn’t think Trump would actually show up for a debate. LET’S WATCH SHALL WE?
The one thing that binds together all the conspiracy theories spouted by right wingers is the underlying expectation of failure.
Just the future of the free world here nbd
I wonder if there r gonna be any questions about pancakes
I’m on team #maplesyrup, if anyone asks.
Why the fuck doesn’t anything except football run on time in this country?
Honestly, if there’s not a Ken Bone run-in, what are we even doing here?
Sling has gone dark here. Even it thinks I shouldn’t be watching it
Is the fatter one Tiffany?
More cushion (for daddy) to push in.
Kornacki would make ESPN2 at midnight instead he’s the main stats guy on MSNBC
He’s a bright spot on cable tv.
Can’t wait for the next round of hockey playoffs to start with TB facing off against… Toradol withdrawal?
So Team Trump is pushing Biden is on Brain Viagra like the Bradley Cooper movie limitless.
Also hidden ear pieces!
Doesn’t seem like they’re desperate and lacking confidence in Trump AT ALL.
This is wack. I’m just going to finish Great British Baking Show
If England wasn’t being run by Trump Lite, I would consider trying to transfer to my company’s London office.
HRC here to remind us all that it matters more to a large number of voters that someone be liked rather than be smart. See also Bush v Gore.
She’s so fucking smart she got clowned by Trump.
No, dumbass voters got clowned by Trump and the media.
HAY JILL STEIN IS A GOOD IDEA.
We deserved him.
Gary Johnson took 4% of Trump’s votes in Michigan, and Trump still won it. More than all other third party candidates combined. It’s why I’m more nervous about Michigan than I keep being told to be.
Agree that MI has much more white trash than a state should, but Biden’ll win by at least 4-5 points.
Big issue with Trump? He has not picked up one voter from 2016. Meanwhile, a nonzero % of his 2016 voters are voting Biden. If nothing else, Dems don’t have the misogyny problem this year.
The job description is be well liked. Not be smartest. She is incapable of learning this. Called everyone deplorables instead.
(shrug) They are, and there is NO ONE who was insulted into voting Trump.
He “won” because states in the Midwest with GOP leadership fucked with the voter rolls to an obscene degree, and those states all turned blue in 2018.
The Zoom pop up for HIllary is going to be a meme by the time I switch to the twitter tab
Instead of the debate I would recommend
a tub of etherwatching this show on netflix about Germany, Babylon Berlin. It’s got female nudity to get you interested, and just enough male nudity to keep you honesthttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-LEV8lOxkQ
Plus it’s based on a book so you know it’s good.
Hmmm. I’m willing to give it a try. I’ve read some good things about books.
FACT CHECK: Possibly true
Could feel my brain melting as Axelrod and Santorum started shouting on eachother so switched to MSNBC and have been rewarded with fucking Hillary Clinton fml
YOU’RE FUCKING HILLARY CLINTON?????????
Well, Bill isn’t.
Only if the kid is wearing a Hillary mask
https://youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=yT755W-K6B0
I’m not a Hillary Clinton hater but MSNBC reminding people Hillary Clinton existence does not help Joe Biden.
Alright, Lady BFC and I have concluded our first debate about the debate and have decided we will start watching and reassess every 15 minutes.
Your foreplay is all kinds of weird.
Don’t kink shame
The odds that this evening leads to sex are the same as the odds Donald has ever made Melania orgasm.
I mean, he’s probably talked money with her before.
“Oh Donald I cum so veddy veddy hard!!!”
CNN has Rick fucking Santorum on. Sweet Jesus.
And weird asshat Van Jones!
And ABC has Chris Christie, who merely helped prep Mangolini for the debate.
So I guess I’ll be hangin with my lesbian professor Maddow.
Look, I’m only watching this for research purposes. If I don’t, I won’t have any idea what the 50 podcasts I listen to are talking about.
Isn’t that what you said about your Pornhub history?
Would never discount its value to my personal growth
Anyone who watches CNN is too stupid for Fox News
(does the math)
(double checks the numbers)
No, that’s not right.
“Have you thought about dividing by pie?”
-A. Reid
Only in that there are no negative IQs
Seeing high budget political ads targeting a dude I know whose biggest accomplishment so far has been sitting on a school board for a tiny district is something else. Also, fuck him. He had it coming.
But, as always, you do you.
“Way ahead of you!” – K. Winslow, in a random Walgreen’s parking lot
?itemid=10261374
A-Rod: “Good baserunning here by Gardner.”
Brett Gardner: *running to 3rd on a ball hit to the left of him and a meh throw by Lindor is why he was safe*
All I think as someone’s rounding 3rd to score on a double is “Please don’t hurt yourself.”
“Please don’t hurt yourself” is my plea to folks that are thinking about voting Republican.
I actively root for GOP voters to inflict self-harm.
Mrs. Sharkbait wants to watch the debate. I have a feeling fuckface von clownstick will say something to enrage me. I may have to hop onto Skyrim and start killing things to release the frustration
Kill all of the things!
I’ve met you, so based on pigment, if you killed someone in real life, evangelicals will go fund you a few hundred thousand to help you overcome your oppression
I hate the fact that you’re not joking about the go fund me
https://religionnews.com/2020/08/29/christian-fund-raising-site-has-earned-nearly-200000-for-alleged-kenosha-shooter-kyle-rittenhouse/
We’re babysitting Gumby’s dad who is a Trumptard, so the debate will not be shown in this house, unless someone wants to come clean up the crime scene! I’m thinking of hanging out in the hot tub until the old fella falls asleep( usually around 9ish)
He is a nice guy except for the Nazi thing, but I will never understand this, and I won’t keep my mouth shut if he starts anything. Gumby is hiding upstairs, he’s nobody’s fool. I have to make dinner, and I know where the Drano is!
That reminds me, thanks for helping me move my collection of blood red paint tonight between the hours of 9 o’clock and 11 o’clock. I really appreciate it.
You can count on me!
I guess I’ll treat this debate like a Superb Owl. No pre-game. Tune in when the ball is in the air. How long can I last? I’ll be like the the soldiers at Chernobyl. I’ll just hold my breath and do the best I can till the radioactive graphite microwaves my guts into butter. Proud to be an American, boys!
In case you aren’t already chugging whiskey and/or cyanide whilst watching: https://www.washingtonian.com/2020/09/28/washingtonians-2020-presidential-debate-drinking-game-night-one/
If you’re an undecided voter right now, please Sylvia Plath yourself.
“JILL STEIN IS STILL MINE!”
— the lesbians of Nantucket
Gonna sit down and write some depressive poetry!
Oh shit. Are LiveJournals a thing again?
That’s my plan for retirement. 401K’s seem risky.
Apparently, it’s all owned by Russians now. They’re gonna use my old high school angst poetry to leverage me into giving away state secrets.
They’re too stupid to operate ovens
Not the German ones.
So Trumpito has been doing debate prep Rudy Ghouliani and Chris Cristkreme.
This fall on CBS…Fatty and the Ghoul
(Hmm lotta people not watching the debate, but ARE watching people watching the debate.)
Oh wow biden and trump just agreed, everyone should send Herodotus450 ten dollars tomorrow. If they both said it, you KNOW it must be a good thing to do!
I didn’t know you were already a billionaire.
Well, if you’re going all political now I guess I should change the sign on my front lawn from “HERODOTUS, SHOW ME YOUR UNDERWEAR!” to “HERODOTUS, SHOW ME YOUR TAX RETURNS!”
All joking aside, I still want to see your underwear.
Anyway, contact tracing. What a novel idea. If only there were a handful of people that controlled a literal global panopticon of every person’s location, contact, movement, and medical history that could be facilitated through the agency that invented the fucking Internet.
God almighty, we fucking deserve this.
Al Gore why have you forsaken us to hunt ManBearPig?
“ Globe Life Field is the new stadium in Texas, built right next to their “antiquated”, 25-year-old old Arlington Ballpark.”
I want all of these leagues and the owners torn limb from limb.
Right after we finish off the same with the NCAA.
And it looks like a shed.
Perfect. We don’t even need a metaphor to figure out where to take them to for their beating and torture.
From Wikipedia
The city of Arlington spent $150,000 on an advertising campaign to persuade voters to approve the funding through a referendum by printing brochures, placing telemarketing calls, and planning a “Hands Around Arlington Day.”[7] On January 19, 1991, over 65% of voters approved the deal, allowing the city government to cover 71% of the costs ($135 million out of $191 million) of building the new ballpark. The deal called for the city to raise the sales tax by half a cent to go toward construction.
25 years later
The project cost for Globe Life Field is approximately $1.2 billion. The master agreement for this public-private partnership calls for a 50-50 split between the Texas Rangers and the City of Arlington, with the City’s financial contribution capped at $500 million.
Texans don’t deserve the vote
Fun fact: I like hitting in it in the Home Run Derby app, because thanks to all the power-ups my character has cartoonish power and can reach the RF scoreboard!
(Fun fact may not be fun, but it is factual.)
Can’t find baby’s response to “Downtown Train”. This will have to do.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZraCfwC83Q&ab_channel=tincture0
https://twitter.com/darrendreger/status/1311066226706313217?s=21
No more smoothies?
Not in New York anyway
Republican elected officials fave cartoon? “My Little Phony”.
/revision/latest?cb=20140517214508
I plan to not watch one second but will absolutely be glued to DFO commentary.
Hopefully Biden has spent his time with an elite group of psychologists and psychiatrists to determine how to trigger an mentally fragile person like Donald Trump.
If by the end of the night Trump is crying and pissing himself while hysterically wailing “WHY DIDN’T YOU LOVE ME, DADDY!”, I may consider voting for him after all.
Are we talking about Donald or Eric? Or both?
Eric is LGBTQ. He said so himself today.
Oedipus complex is when you want to fuck yer mom. What is it called when you want to blow your dad?
“An obligation.” – All Trump sons and daughters
(Electra Complex)
That would only occur if he had balls and the Dems actually wanted to win.
I hope Biden is all out of bubblegum.
Wonder whether Biden can piss off/provoke Trump into dropping an N-Bomb tonight.
That would make his supporters love him even more.
SPOILER:
That’s what I figure. My neighbors are putting up even more Trump election flags and banners. Gawd.
I’d go over 12% for that.
So Mom’s getting a Trump sign to put in the front yard. Is that grounds to get her committed to a Old Folks’ Home?
Not yet. But start throwing “I’ll never visit you” teasers.
Do you have grandkids that you can threaten to withhold from visitation?
Make sure it’s one of the ones they used to visit on 60 Minutes
Just make sure she remembers to vote in person on November 4th.
The 506 posts the upcoming weekend’s games every Wednesday afternoon; I’ve never waited for DFO to re-post.
I thought I would have to wait longer for the master debater joke. Next up the cunning linguist.
FUCK YOU for taking away my Kamala – Pence joke.
You all have heard of eyebrow threading for unwanted hair removal? I think i shall try scrotum barbwiring instead of watching the debate, less painful.
I’ve been rearin’* for the debate since the early afternoon.
* pantsless
Which makes up for taking a shower and brushing my teeth for a videoconf. this AM. Sheeit, I even left the cam on throughout. Can’t waste the hair gel.
Fucking Twins, you had one job. Anyway LET’S FUCKING GO wait they’re in Cleveland because they decided to lost 2 of 3 to the Marlins fuck.