Your “Eve Of The Apocalypse” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

NFL Nuggets:

  • Well, there’s finally proof that COVID can cross over to the animal kingdom, as Broncos GM & noted equine hybrid John Elway has tested positive for the disease.
    • Contact tracing appears to show the exposure came…from outside the building!
    • Since the team facility is closed for election day, there is minimal risk on on-site exposure.
    • The opening statement from KUSA in Denver on the topic is typical NBC hyperbole:

Coronavirus is so vexing, so heinous, so nondiscriminatory, it got two of the highest-ranking executives of the Denver Broncos.

    • Fortunately, Elway has gone into isolation protocol & is taking all necessary precautions, including mandatory face covering.

Trade deadline updates:

  • The Dolphins made the only moves today:
    • They traded wide receiver Isaiah Ford to the Patriots for undisclosed compensation.
    • They acquired running back DeAndre Washington from the Chiefs for an undisclosed draft pick.

Well, it’s Election Night, so that can only mean one thing,

I thought a clip from “The Purge: Election Night” might be too on the nose.

Living next door to Washington State, I get pretty full-up on their election news. Based on the coverage, Seattle is boarding itself up in advance of celebration/losing riots, and Vancouver, WA will put itself out long enough for the votes to be counted. In addition to their Governor’s race, they have six initiatives on the ballot:

  • Referendum 90 – the only fascinating one
    • To allow State Senate Bill 5395 to take effect, thereby requiring public schools to provide comprehensive sexual health education for all students and requiring students to be excused if requested by their parents.
      • It changes an existing law that allowed districts to choose whether or not to offer sexual health to requiring comprehensive sexual health that is consistent with state health standards and that requires affirmative consent curriculum.
        • In trying to oppose it, Republicans from the conservative parts of the state introduced over 100 amendments to try & stall it in committee, preventing it from reaching the Governor.
          • Parents for Safe Schools, the sponsors of Referendum 90, submitted 266,000 signatures to the Washington Secretary of State’s office to get the referendum put on the 2020 ballot. To qualify the referendum for the November ballot, 129,811 of the signatures had to be valid.
          • The more lucid public complaints sound like this:
            • It is highly sexualized going beyond anatomy, reproduction and pregnancy and HIV/STD prevention. CSE is built on the principals of Alfred Kinsey who believed that kids are sexual from birth, they have a right to seek out sexual pleasure and explore their sexuality, children have a right to advocate for their sexual rights and freedoms and parents are a barrier to obtaining those rights.
          • The bill passed 28-21 in the Senate and 56-40 in the House.
      • Apparently, there has never been a statewide curriculum in this area.
        • It was available district by district, and not in all schools in that district.
  • Four non-binding Advisory Votes on tax measures proposed by the state
    • The most controversial is #32, a vote to maintain or repeal State Senate Bill 5323, which was designed to levy a tax on certain carryout bags provided by retailers.
  • One Joint Resolution (a “Joint Resolution”, not a joint resolution, because ‘Washington mannnn…’)
    • To support or oppose allowing the Washington Legislature to invest the Long-Term Care Services and Supports Trust Account into stocks or other methods of investment.

That’s what’s up next door. What’s special on your home state’s ballot? Let’s have at it in the comments


Tonight’s sports:

  • MLB: Gold Glove Awards – 8:00PM | ESPN
  • 2020 CONCACAF League – Round of 16:
    • Tauro FC vs. Forge FC – 8:00PM | TSN3

C’mon – it’s the big politics nerd TV night. Even if the NHL & NBA were active, the NHL would be only Canadian games, and the NBA would be off. Tonight, we talk politics, and please be civil to those you think are wrong.

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Gratliff

Something worth noting is that Michigan had 3.1 million absentee votes as of this morning and has only reported 2.5 million so far leaning heavily republican. those numbers will swing wildly later on.

Spur

Until Meal Team Six Members assault the counting places and burn all the mail-in ballots

Viva La Tabula Raza

You are confusing me. Are you saying there are only 600K absentee ballots left to count?

Gratliff

I’m pretty sure they haven’t included them at all, but I could be hilariously, terribly wrong

Senor Weaselo

I heard that there are 2.5M left.

Duchess

News _____Biden/Trump
Fox News __218/148
CNN ______192/114
MSNBC ____192/114
ABC news___192/114
Univision____220/118
WaPo______188/114

Spur

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Spur

Young Spur was not allowed to have model Airplane kits. Momma Spur convinced i would huff the glue

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Remember, Susan Collins is a piece of shit

Sharkbait

Always and forever.

Gratliff

Her and Feinstein can get on the SS Civility and fuck off to the arctic circle

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’ve switched to Red Hooks

Spur

they just showed the Mississippi election center. I shit you not, they had CRT monitors and i believe they said prisoners we during the count.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Are you sure it wasn’t abacus-es they were counting votes with?

Last edited 4 years ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
scotchnaut

BBC is saying that Montana and Idaho are trending blue. Are they not both solid repub states?

Mr. Ayo

Only 20% reporting. They’re both going red.

scotchnaut

Why showing blue early?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Bullock is doing well and Montana was trending in the right direction, but a “win” there is Biden losing by <8

herodotus450

Last I heard Idaho’s governor was pushing to make the bible the official history textbook for state schools. So yeah, probably R. Also, they have basically zero gun control laws there.

Gratliff

I don’t understand why they play coy with idaho. They’d elect Khomeini before they’d elect a Dem.

Viva La Tabula Raza

“He says out loud the things I think!”

Gratliff

Apparently Oregon decriminalized drugs tonight, in case any of you were looking for new digs

Spur

Any talking heads take off their tie/jacket yet?
Thinking about a topless Racheal Maddow is confusing.

Viva La Tabula Raza

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Last edited 4 years ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Mr. Ayo

This should help.

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Redshirt

Its official: Pennsylvania is this election’s Florida.

King Hippo

We should have known this was coming when Herr Fuhrer specifically sabre-rattled there.

herodotus450

But on the other hand, it’s not hard to see why Trump is still popular considering the great job he did building the wall with Mexico.

Redshirt

Pittsburgh has only reported 17%? Are they counting the ballots by hand?

Spur

The BEN is going as fast as he can.

ballsofsteelandfury

Hard to count votes in bathrooms….

Spur

Finally, the right people are cheating. Takes awhile to cook the books.

Ends justify the means.

King Hippo

I know this is a yuk-yuk, but this is what I THINK still separates our coalition (lefties and non-Trump conservatives) from them – if I had the administrative power…under no circumstances would I fuck with my state’s vote. I want it to be a full and fair representation of what the people choose. Even if they choose self-destruction.

Redshirt

Agreed. If Biden won and found out later he only won because somebody cheated, I would not be shocked if he’s asked Harris to resign as VP, nominate Trump as VP and then resign himself to elevate Trump back to Presidency to right the wrong.

We both know Trump wouldn’t even think of doing that.

Gratliff

And I would hope she would choke the life out of him as soon as the words left his mouth

Redshirt

I didn’t say Joe’s plan was a good plan.

Spur

Fuck that kumbaya shit. When’s there’s no referee why bother playing by the rules?
Dems are dumb.

ballsofsteelandfury

Exactly

Spur

The Kennedys understood this. They didn’t let Nixon win, they knew he was trouble. the end justified the means.

King Hippo

Sorry, one last item from TPM. Again, this would be consistent with 2018:

For months, we’ve been warned about what would happen on election night: Republican votes would arrive first, mostly from in-person voting, while Democratic votes would lag, since they were more likely to be cast by mail and would take longer to tally.
It’s clear from the results tonight that Trump is still competitive, in spite of everything, as I wrote here. But it’s worth keeping in mind that across much of the country what we’re seeing is in line with what was predicted, and warned about: it will be a long count, but one that likely favors the Democratic Party.

Redshirt

Too bad I don’t get Colbert’s election special. I’m curious to see his spin on this.

King Hippo

We likely won’t have any real news until like 3a.

Spur

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King Hippo

So I have taken a muscle relaxer and am reading a book.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’m saving my melatonin and Xanax for when I wake up at 3am and am staring at the ceiling, unable to get back to sleep.

King Hippo

Nobody better be expecting any billable work tomorrow. My current plan is to caffeinate until sundown Tuesday, then marathon sleep.

Sharkbait

How are the tea leaves looking?

King Hippo

see above – my confidence level is between 70-75%

Sharkbait

Ill take it!

Redshirt

Okay, can someone ask the police to do a Wellness Check on Fairfax, VA? They’ve been stuck at 29% for three hours and I’m getting concerned.

Duchess

Hey we are all good here… we don’t report until later because we love the Drama

Duchess

MSNBC definitely held back some Trump states call until the West Coast came in so they never had to say Trump was leading the EC

Dunstan

Trump was leading for most of the first hour plus, by virtue of Indiana and Kentucky.

Viva La Tabula Raza

“Sounds fair.”
—Karl Rove.

Recovery Whiskey

Can we all agree from this point on the only polls that matter are the NCAA? Poll takers had another rough night tonight.

herodotus450

I’m only willing to throw out political polls if we throw out Nielsen ratings as well.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Man, Snoop and Martha Stewart, together forever. Fucks with my mind.

Redshirt

Aw, hell. A tie is in play.

Dunstan

“Go on…” — Ghost of David Carradine

Viva La Tabula Raza

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Redshirt

Redshirt Official Projection:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vau2hG22DoQ

Senor Weaselo

Already said Morbo’s “DOOOOOM!”

Viva La Tabula Raza

It’s the culmination of 40 years of anti-New Deal legislation since Reagan was sworn in. The 40 year Republican program of defunding of education has paid off in spades for them. We are a nation of fucking un-educated idiots. Thanks, Republicans.

Spur

Used GTR?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Can’t do this, so movie time

scotchnaut

The Plot Against America is a good one.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Good book, too.
—Alexander Portnoy

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I have some complaints

Viva La Tabula Raza

Fuck this, I’m going to go watch some Animal Planet game warden shows and hope I come back in a couple hours to more heartening news.

Duchess

News _____Biden/Trump
Fox News _129/109
CNN ______94/72
MSNBC ___98/92
ABC news__93/83
Univision___128/98
WaPo______94/88

ABC data is being run by 538 Folks

Spur

made a nice vodka tini – a kangaroo if you will

Dunstan

First mention of “crucial Waukesha county.” All readers of Dave Weigel must drink.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Electoral college can suck out my ass crack, bitches.

King Hippo

And IMPORTANT REMINDER – at this hour in 2016, we were absolutely sure the worm had turned. This is NOT a repeat of 2016, we just did NOT get best-case scenario. It will be a hard, long slog to save our Democracy.

Sharkbait

This has been reassuring thoughts by King Hippo.

Duchess

it honestly can come down to PA

King Hippo

Very well might

Viva La Tabula Raza

Fuck. Six more years of Lady Graham.

King Hippo

Whew! – Rentboys of Greater DC Area

herodotus450

Pannsylvania has apparently just given up on counting mail in ballots for the night. You work ONE day of the year, ballot counting assholes, just stick it out!

Viva La Tabula Raza

Get some Adderall from the C-in-C.

King Hippo

Gov. Cooper has won, and Wake County could still swing for Biden.

King Hippo

NM called, so the Hispanic vote didn’t completely fall off the cliff. Good omen for AZ.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Biscuit/bolillo Hispanic buddy of mine has a tat of the Zia sun on his back, calls himself a New Mexican.

Last edited 4 years ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Gratliff
litre_cola

Saw that you got a Nazi from North Carolina too.

King Hippo

that predator Cawthorn, or someone even worse?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

The Republican party can get fucked

Spur

Dont let us down Arizonacomment image

Duchess

News _____Biden/Trump
Fox News _129/109
CNN ______89/72
MSNBC ___89/72
ABC news__89/72
Univision___119/92
WaPo______89/72

We are seeing news ares consolidating their picks more

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Who’s leading the CalExit movement if Trump wins?

Viva La Tabula Raza

Well, it’s pretty disheartening so far, but a lot of votes yet to be counted. Even if Orange Julius Caesar pulls it out, I’ll be happy with flipping the Senate and blocking him the next four years,.

King Hippo

There is absolutely no way the Senate flips without a Biden win.

Gratliff

Down ballot is terrifying to me, especially the local races because of the absolute psychos that have been emboldened by Trump. Straight tickets are about to create some nightmare scenarios.

King Hippo

100%

King Hippo

And the GOP will absolutely double down on the crazy, even if/when he ultiately loses.

Viva La Tabula Raza

It will be the end of the nation we grew up in.

Spur

My commit to pump off tonight.

Too Early to Call.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I have so much work to do and no nerves to do it

Gratliff

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Dunstan

If only the Democrats had Malcolm Tucker.

Spur

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King Hippo

Senate might be 50/50

Sharkbait

As long as Harris is the tie breaker

litre_cola

I mean, it’s no 20/20comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

My dad drinks a half pint of Orange Jubilee every Sunday with his breakfast instead of traditional Orange Juice. He’s 83 years old, and has been doing this for over a decade, so I won’t criticize.

Last edited 4 years ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Spur

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Dunstan

I have plenty of leftovers in the fridge, but I’m pretty sure I’m going to order in tacos and stress eat for the next three days.

King Hippo

I couldn’t eat a thing right now. I had an energy bar and a bowl of rice today. Period, end of.

Spur

any live video of the White House Orgy? Is Fat boy tweeting?

Duchess

they took his phone

scotchnaut

My wife is sleeping in the spare room tonight because

  1. I made a sly reference to wanting The Sex
  2. I’m drunk as fuck and will be snoring like a motherfucker
  3. I ate two egg salad sandwiches

*if you answered ‘all of the above’, you win. Unlike me.

King Hippo

if only you had the pick ’em acumen to win a gently-used fleshlight

Spur

A Fight Broke out down thread!

King Hippo

Guys, please – let’s try to be good to one another. PLEASE.

Gratliff

Ma’am, this is an America

Spur

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herodotus450

The spirit of Mill Nimmons lives on

Gratliff

If I wasn’t so lazy, I’d go look up my favorite moment of the election cycle where Sanders won Nevada and Sill decided to go nuclear on Makeitsnow on Twitter like they were going through a bad breakup

Gratliff

Aw, was looking for it for a laugh, but I forgot makeitsnow’s old account got banned and I can’t find the interaction anymore. Anyway, it was basically the friendship ended meme, but with a psychotic Pens fan screaming about communism.

Recovery Whiskey

Some of y’all need to hide the sharp objects and lock the pill cabinet.

We aren’t getting a call tonight because of all the covid voters absentee. They don’t start counting those until tonight.

Except all mail vote states they counted a lot of them already. But those states were mostly blue anyway.

Spur

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herodotus450

But I want it NOW!