Well, it’s looks as though all my whining and carrying on has been heard by the powers that be and we’ll get a half-decent number of games on the late end. But I never thought things all the way through. We’ve got ourselves a real mixed bag here. Shall we put our metaphorical hand in and root around to see what’s there?
TO THE GAMES!
Texans/Browns:
When will Cleveland understand what they have in Rashard Higgins? The guy catches everything thrown his way, (12 grabs on 15 targets) he moves the chains and when he was actually thrown to 6 times he scored 2 TD’s. Perhaps they should look across the field and see what Houston has done since Billy Bob O’Brien was axed. Wr’s Cooks and Fuller have gone bananas to the tune of 7 TD’s and 688 yards receiving combined. They need all that and more because their D is a joke. Opposing #1 wr’s usually get 100+ yards and a score (or 2).
Team/Lions:
Do you think Wash’s qb Alex Smith is (perhaps understandably) jumpy/gun shy? He throws to his first read more often than anyone aside from Cam and Josh. It’s worked out so far because that look tends to be McLaurin, who has the most yards after the catch than anyone not named Kamara. The secondary beneficiary is the suddenly fantasy-relevant J.D. McKissic.
Jags/Pack:
Not that it’ll be an issue this week but Green Bay only generates pressure on opposing qb’s 25% of the time, down from a figure of 39% last year. Rodgers should be padding his MVP CV here and wr Adams will likely go for 150+ and a score or two. [wipes hands]
Eagles/Giants:
You’d think that of the qb’s on offer here that the one that has the most turnover-worthy plays (off-target throws, passes into tight coverage) would be Dimes. Incorrectamundo! The honour goes to Wentz. Still, the guy has 30+ fantasy points in two of his last three games. You might want to sit Slayton here because since Shepard has returned he’s averaged 9 targets per game. Last week The Darius had just the one.
Bucs/Panthers:
For a 3-6 team Carolina is doing okay on D, giving up an average of 23 points per game over their last seven. Had they been able to score one more TD their record would be closer to 6-2-1. Brady needs to do the rebound thingy after getting hounded by the Saints D and ending up TD-less but them Panthers have three highly-rated cb’s in their secondary, including the league’s most prominent Mennonite, Corn Elder.
Do your blurst.
Weather channel needs a red zone for severe weather
Bridgewater: Getting it done
Given the really short pass, it’s more like Moore getting it done.
Gallmandown!
y’all is hilariously playoff-bound
MAKE THIS TRAVESTY HAPPEN, NFL!
Fucking Marvin Hall got the TD for the Lions. I was one week too early in starting him. Sums up the whole fantasy year for me.
I picked up NYG defense last week for my bye cover but of course I had to leave them on vsPHI, right?
Made some very gringo chilaquiles this am. Good stuff.
Houston/Cleveland weather delay (artist’s conception)
?itemid=12438891
Giants run game is working and the sky is blood red. I’m sure it’s nothing.
Rudy gonna get the SC to overturn reality.
9-1-1 to be followed up by 9-1-1:Lone Star.
How long until Marguerite Taylor Greene introduces legislation to [insert whatever fictional event happens on 9-1-1]]?
McCaffrey wearing his mask below his nose. That dude truly is a Carolina Christian.
I make more money than Travis Fulgham. Not for long though I’m sure.
What’s his rate?
145K, apparently. Betting you do as well.
He ain’t gotta worry about Biden’s tax plan.
Bengals won’t have their LB coach, Secondary coach, and Sr. Defense Assistant for COVID reason. Any other team this would be disastrous, but I think taking the coaches away from the players may have the opponent effect for the Bengals.
PUNT RUSH ALL DAY!!!
This latest trend of ballcarriers hurdling tacklers is going to end with a barcarrier getting hit in midair and spinning in midair like a pinwheel until they crash into the turf like a lawndart.
They don’t even get many yards.
Yeah, they lose all momentum and tire themselves from the jump so they can’t get back to top speed. A simple juke would work better.
I get it for a TD or first but the hurdle-turned-awkward-crash-out-of-bounds seems ill advised.
El Tractoricito scoffs at trying to avoid defenders.
These morning games kinda of blow. Why is the NFL bowing to he Masters?
Yeah, but the 4p window will be good for a change.
/is not so much whole NFL, rather it’s CBS not wanting any early fixtures.
At least they don’t bow to JEW Masters, like Biden.
Injury TO.
DRINK!
Pulled an abductor doing situps in the driveway?
Had to start Dimes in Hippo’s money league and he’s got a rushdown. Might even break 100 points finally.
Hey, youse is 2-0 AGAINST HIPPO
THEY MY ONLY 2 WINS!
Who is the announcing team for Fitbawl Team V Cuck Liouns?
Aqib Talib!
Two of the Good Ones is broadcasting? HUZZAH!
Hide your chains!
Hope no one played Slayton-he’s off to the locker room.
the house next to my parents house is going up for sell. Really thinking of putting in an offer. Being very close to help should they need any help with the benefit of being in a separate house is tempting.
I smell sitcom!
I smell an episode of Unsolved Mysteries.
.
I smell….
Cleveland is delayed by storms. How in the hell is it thunderstorming in Cleveland in mid-November?!
It’s 2020, that’s how.
/checks early slate
Ok. See ya’ll at 5 PM Atlantic
//shakes off work papers humping my leg
Channel guide says 500s/Pauls, broadcast shows GOATtanneers/BPanthers.
Not sure if this is better or worse.
As a casual HOU fan, this pisses me off. But now I see that the game is in a weather delay.
Browns got delayed. Probably from bad weather or getting Mayfield away from the petting zoo.
Bad weather, lightning storms in the area. Even the gods do not want this game to happen.
Odin has spoken.
Gonna be a bad day for QBs in the meadowlands
Amazon FireTV Stick doesn’t want to connect to the network to watch today’s games. That’s a good omen to start today.
Self preservation as a sign of the coming computer uprising?
If that’s the case, we need to get Skynet hooked on the Bengals. After a few years, it’ll override protocols and self-terminate and then Humanity wins!
Or just have it explains The Jets’ drafting prowess 😀
10 Draft Bad Players for Better Draft Position Next Draft
20 Lose Games for Better Draft Position Next Draft
30 GOTO 10
No, that’s WHAT happened. The trick is to explain why has that gone for so long with neither repercussions nor actual success 😀
Now to go to redzone, throw on WIP, and pseudo-watch the Eagles struggle to come from behind to beat a woefully inept Gints
Net lose of 5 pounds this week.
Am very hunger, sore and haven’t had anything good to eat for 2 weeks.
Am about as happy as a Trump supporter at a gay wedding.
So its a deep seated self loathing happiness?
Is there any other kind?
I’m waiting for the New Years before I start my diet. My plan is to binge on ice cream and cookies until I either get sick of them or I have a massive heart attack and die. Either way, I won’t have anymore craving for ice cream and cookies next year.
Someone call Mr. Owl, because I want to know how many licks it takes to get to the center of that.
RoJo, mckissic, or mckinnon?
McKissic is getting a ton of targets these last 2 weeks. Alexi doesn’t throw the ball far these days. I can’t stand Rojo-always such a letdown.
JD Mckissic seems like he gonna keep Rockin
Morning Folks
Hey there!
!Hola!
Ladies!
Wait… that’s Sofia Vergara? Jesus, she used to look good…
Agreed. Whoever convinced these perfect women that they needed plastic surgery needs to be shot.
Used to?
Good evenin’ to you too
Im a nervous dog playing BOTH Chase Claypool and Diontae Johnson as my 2 WR’s in fantasy footbaw.
Bow wow gotta risk it!
I’m am so screwed if ever there is a murder in my hometown or the community I work in. Related: there’s a new hobo story tonight.
Horatio’s bursitis has a cameo, btw.
I can’t wait!
/gets framed for 22 hobo murders
Well, shit.
It’s not like you could outrun Scotchy
Oy, Hippo, I have a question for ya – do you know if museums and the like are open in Colorado nowadays, or I’m COVID outta luck?
I do not live there, but one kid and the ex-wife does. They said Gov. Polis was gonna start locking down harder.
Well, shit.. In that case I’m gonna refuel in Dayton call in some favours to see if I can roam around in the USAF musem to stretch my legs before sodding off to the Bay area..
Hells yeah I’m putting my Chubb in the lineup.
That penis had a mole on it!
“Can we PLEASE call it a tallywhacker” – still one of the funniest scenes I have ever seen. No matter how many times I have seen it, I still crack up.
Beautiful golazo off a set piece by Burundi!
Holy shit! Another one! This is a well coached squadoo.
Actual Summer wasn’t too bad in North Cakalaky, but this has been the longest Casino Not Slurpee Summer in memory. I think there have been only like 2-3 days that my air conditioning hasn’t clicked on (at least periodically).
If I’m not mistaken the lovely lady featured in the banner image was a former LA Thunderbird and roller derby queen.
Skinny Minnie Miller. Had a crush on her when I was too young to know what a crush was.
We watched every Sunday night. Dick Lane on channel 5. My dad actual skated in the minors. True story.
Must have been easy elbowing to the ground all those 12 year-olds.
What has two thumbs, loaded up on Fuller V in DFS, and THEN found out it’s a wind game?
I am agonizing over leaving in Too Many Cooks. But the alternative is Antonio Brown, who I am also starting in my other league.
Welp, there’s THAT song in my head all day. ?
I accidentally unplugged my cable box, which, as you know, is the single least impressive piece of technology in the 21st century, so I’m currently parked on FOX while I wait for the rest of the channels to start working. It is just as bad as it was 5 years ago when I last saw it. However, Mike Tomlin sure as fuck doesn’t look like Omar Epps anymore. Fat Poor Man’s Omar Epps, maybe.
You can run Doom on a new refrigerator, but the feed freezes every time you scroll on demand on a cable box. They have to be a practical joke.
“No mere kitchen appliance can contain the power of DOOM!”
Morning
Hola!
How you doing?
Eh
Bow wow
Hey, Heisenberg? Has Hippo been playing Footy Manager all morning?
You’re Goddamned Right!
Jimmy Johnson has looked 50 for the last 30 years. I wonder how much botox he has in his face at this point.
Jesus, he’s almost 80. Which has more old fucks that needs to be put out to pasture: NFL commentary panels or Congress?
YES
US Congress: Where the future is controlled entirely by octogenarians and the science committees are packed with young earth creationists.
Ironically, they’re old enough to say “Yeah, that’s not true.”
Of course, Johnson is 3 years younger than the youngest member of the Dem House Leadership, so maybe this isn’t as close as I thought.
We really need mandatory retirement ages for Congress.
I hear tell that Pelosi just won’t retire because Steny Hoyer won’t (and she hates him like the plague, which is the correct assessment).
It’ll be 40 years in the House next year, and he got it by replacing a woman who won while in a coma she never recovered from.
Maybe they should elect Barbara Lee, who ran against her last time. Oh, wait. She only has the good judgment to have been the only member of Congress to vote against the Forever War AUMF, which automatically disqualifies her because endless war is personally profitable to this scum.
The fucking Republicans got rid of the seniority system, but the Dems, a party that is obscenely and hilariously antidemocratic, just can’t fucking care to do it.
I was going to point out how terrifying the young blood of the congressional GOP is, but then I just started thinking about how funny it would be if McConnell stroked out while on TV, and now it’s all I care to see.
Looks like Tedy Bruschi borrowed Mel Kiper Jr’s hairpiece.
So begins the quest to eat my body weight in pulled pork
You can dew it
I have never has MOAR RESPEK for a fellow Commentist.
Amateur- Orson Wells and Marlon Brando in between bites.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6i7ycxiog40
This is a praiseworthy goal. Even if you fail you win.
found a funny:
Pacifist? No, I think all oceans are beautiful
“I’ll show you a Pacifist” – Pac-Man, donning a set of brass knuckles
“The Pacifist? That’s not gonna sell.”
-Stan Lee
Here’s a local success story: Guy starts his own business making homemade chorizo. Artisanal shit from scratch. He starts selling it to local businesses here in LA. After several years of making it at home and driving all over the city he finally saves enough money to open his own brick and mortar store. It’s called The Chori Man and he’s now been featured in the Best of LA like 7 times.
I’m ordering from there today. I’ll give a full review later.
How far do they ship, or is it just local orders.
Nvm, found it. Local only. Even though I just ate that menu made me hungry again.
He’s local. But what’s really cool is they’re about 5 blocks from the new dojo.
I hope to hell the byline was “The Chori Story”.
ADULT Swim Festival on youtube has been pretty good
would recommend!
Is Carl back? I miss Stone Cold Lock of the Century (of da week)
I wish. I think he died from the Diebetus
Fantasy update; Zeke, Cooper & Lamb on a bye. Mecole Hardman has a bye AND Covid! Chris Carson has been upgraded to ‘Out’. Robert Tonyan has been downgraded to ‘Questionable’, which pretty much describes his production since that one game several weeks ago.
I’d change my team name to ‘Waiver Wire All-Stars’ but I don’t think Yahoo allows that many characters.
Yeah, in the Freezer Vodka league my wr trio is Marvin Jones, Mooney and the aforementioned Higgins. If you’d told me these guys were my starters I’d have said, “god, I’ll be lucky to get three wins!” I’m lucky I have 3 wins. Guh.
In another league my team name is “Schrodinger’s waiver wire” and I usually end up starting random players when the injuries and bye weeks hit
Hannah Storm is up there with the Matron Saint.
It’s chilly outside so there’s going to be chili inside.
?quality=80&strip=all
“Is it alright if I bring T-Boz in with me?”
Nudge nudge
What kind of meat?
Nudge nudge
“Veal” and “Bison”.
Sounds good to me
Insert pic of bugs bunny in the giant pot about to be cooked