So…not sure that the JV world is looking so hot right now. Almost as many fixtures being 86’d this week as are being played. And that doesn’t even begin to touch on the hardwood shitshow.
Good thing all Commentists in Good Standing have converted to the sweet siren song of Lesser Footy, eh?
Villa away to Wolves (7:30, Peacock) is pretty solid fare, for the early bird slot. Come for the Portugeuse Hobo manager, stay for me and Litre screaming about how much of a cunt Jack Grealish is!
Barcodes and Brummies are up next (10:00, Peacock), and Hippo humbly suggests a nap. Man, a multi-nap day is just proper good Plague Year livin!
Spotlight Dance lives up to its name this week, with the Manchester Derby (12:30, NBC). A bit of extra spice added by how badly each beleagured manager could use a signature win. Phrases like “signature win” are poison to British ears, but methinks am safe here.
Let’s try not to linger on Everton’s fixture with noted Tory Cunt Frank Lampard (3:00, Peacock). All the “yeeehaw, lookit Chelski’ Murrikan player” certainly will make my mood that much darker. But I will let the “action” on the pitch carry most of the rage freight. Jeebus, being on piss poor form is ass-flvoUred ass.
Georgia (-14) at Missouri (Noon, SECN)
Do not adjust your non-dials, Mizzou IS actually ranked! I suspect they either win, or get their asses handed to them. FOAR reasons.
Utah (+2.5) at Colorado (Noon, Fox)
This here match is being held at 10am local time. It’s actually NINE by Team Secular Big Love’s body clocks, but one expects they are likely MOAR effective morning persons than Boulder’s midnight tokers.
Navy (+7.5) v. Army (3:00, CBS)
No stand-alone time slot, wonder if they even bother reporting the TV ratings? At least they didn’t fuck the Military Industrial Complex off to CBSSN.
Wisconsin (-2) at Iowa (3:30, FS1)
Hey, y’all? Ah see fat ppl!
Cal (-1.5) at Washington State (4:00, Fox)
Yes, this is just an excuse to post their cheerleaders again. I’m not made of stone!!
USC (-3.5) at UCLA (7:30, ABC)
You know it’s FITBAW in Los Angeles, because nobody gives a tin shit. Fat Chip seems to have saved his Westwood Klavern bacon, which is most unfortunate.
Stanford (-3) at Oregon State (10:00, ESPNU)
How can fucking Trees be favoUred against a pack of Beavers? It makes no fucking sense.
CBS is reported the weather in the Army-Navy game as “Hudson River Fog”. What’s the difference between “Hudson River Fog” and “fog”?
Smells worse?
Is actually toxic and harmful to the human body?
I suspect it’s like the difference between “bodegas” and “convenience stores” — something that New Yorkers will wax rhapsodically about, but the rest of us couldn’t give two shits about.
Bodega is actually the spanish word for “warehouse” so I have no idea why they are using it for a hipster 7-11.
Probably ’cause it’s easier to work in the word “bodega” in a song than “convenience store”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dAqxEdrNXBk
“The final score was 101-63. Boston College pressed in the second half but Syracuse refused to fold”
-Sports reporter on The Laundry Network
Brown remains undefeated. And Brown University is pretty good too.
You said “brown.”
Soph Mark Skid is thinking about transferring…
C’mon Everton, beat Chelski!
I mean, we are starting all 4 of our CBs, and none is really competent at fullback. I would kill for a point.
Frank Lampard sure is a Tory Cunt, though
To nap, or not to nap. Child is away for the afternoon. Nap it is!
NAP if you can
You no want to see Tory Cunt Frank Lampard fuck Everton in the ass, sans lube? PITY.
The tenants beating you lot is something I do not need to see.
Nap!
Nap
Actually, I’m going to take that advice myself.
24 hours ago, I’d have taken a point from Man Shitty. But that was a terrible game. City looked very beatable.
Seemed Ole was very content with the point. That has to piss supporters off.
It’s him saying that United put forth their best performance that has people pisses off.
Does Ole have a daughter or wife that Donny fucked? How is he not getting any PT?
Where’s the vision here Ole? Is it to put your guard up and take punches round after round in the hope of tiring out the opposition and then trying to win it towards the end? How are you going to do it with a midfield that has dead legs?
found a funny:
me: thank u for changing my life
my dog: [puts his asshole directly on my head]
More something a cat would do.
My cat has NEVAR disliked me MOAR than when I said “I don’t want to smell your ass, Kruger.”
Kruger?
Ok, is it me, or is Aquaman actually a shitty movie, with planks of wood (and Willem Defoe) as cast?
Effects look dated and shit, everyone’s line delivery is between normal constipation and “trying to unblock 3 months’ worth of MREs blockage”-grade constipation?
I mean, I generally hate ALL superhero movies, but that seems to be a strong majority opinion the last decade or so.
Willem Defoe was already Jeebus getting his swerve on, so career could only go downhill.
Ohno, he’s good in everything … even Speed 2 (or rather, he was the only good thing in that turd), but everyone else … goddamn
Superhero movies in general are “meh” to me in general, but at least most of the people on the Marvel’s side of things used to at least seem likeable and can do more than consti-growl their way through a script
Worst Superhero Movie?
Too many to choose from. Next question.
Only hiccup is … that no one asked that question. The question was “Is Aquaman actually a shitty movie” 😉
Someone did.
… I think you’re hearing ghosts, so please ask if any of them knows what the fuck happened to that shouty little austrian wanker with the Hitler ‘stache
You might wanna re-think your think.
Heh, you can’t outthink someone if he’s not thinking in the first pl… uhhh… wait
I larfed.
Aquaman is broriffic! It’s honestly the best superhero movie over the past 3-4 years. (Whether that’s good or bad, is up to you).
Just say no to litre’s drugs, mmmmmmkay?
It’s a shitty movie. They are all shitty. The best superhero movie is Shazam, but king of shit mountain and all.
I did like Zachary Levy in Chuck, so I may give that a spin later tonight after I finish building Maverick’s plane from Top Gun2 (to complement the F-14 and “MiG-28” from 1)
Shazam is good because it totally commits to “what if a 13 year old boy has Superman’s powers.”
As long as they don’t put in some questionable comments as “Big”, I’m sure I’ll enjoy it
Know what sucks? Everton playing with a goddamned back three YET AGAIN.
/have nil-3 in Prediction League, which is likely over-optimistic
“Illinois’ last nine offensive plays have netted six yards.”
Lovie Smith doesn’t see any problem with this. If anything, slow down a bit, fellas.
For fucks sake, Ole! Get the subs on!
V-8’s peach mango varietal (of energy drink( is really fucking good.
Tony Martial needs to get subbed on. Mase and Rash have zero chemistry
That was a prime McTominay moment.
He wins the ball, runs forward with it only to stop and pass it backwards.
https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/13453279/airman-who-lost-gop-race-arrested/
A QAnon supporter charged with child porn? I suppose he was just jealous.
ah was just showing how easy it wuz 2 get away with it!!!1111
I LOVE when a random offside call eliminates a soft penno
Still a half left in the Manchester Derby. Considering I woke up thinking United were going to get skunked, I’m happy it’s scoreless.
City is there for the taking
They are as dysfunctional as Hippo at a work Xmas party…
LOL
It’s not “soda” or “pop” it’s goddamned Coke and I will fight anyone who say different
It’s a Pepsi, mate… not Coke.. coke is what you spike the water coolers in Miami and Buffalo, so both teams get suspenderized until the end of the season 😀
Pepsi is just a varietal of Coke ,, teh SOUTH is NEVAR wrong imogodbless
Pepsi was so fucking awesome, even the Soviets liked it
(Seriously, though, these days I’m buying Pepsi, ’cause it’s still made with sugar here, unlike Coke which’s full of that concentrated whatever syrup and feels way more carbonated than even 5 years ago)
Yeah, “real sugar” is only way, that’s easier to get as Mexican Coke here.
/and Pepsi was invented in North Cakalaky and originally called “Brad’s Drink”
And once upon a time you were ENCOURAGED to give coca and heroin to people … without a prescription, but we’re not talking about the fun ol’ days 😀
If I could time travel, would deffo be to the “Patent Medicine” years
The birth of personal computing for me – I’d give Billy G and TurtleneckJesus (and if I had juice in the time travel rig – also to the Google guys) seed money for 25% of the shares of their companies, come back to the present … and buy Micronesia or someshit
Sparty was 15.5-pt dogs to the Paedos today. Goddamnit, why I no bet THAT??
Fucking SPAL are fucking me, of fucking course.
How did Jerry Rice’s kid not get a better offer than Colorado? Or ya reckon he just really likes the demon weed??
Deep Thoughts With Hippo…
As I took the trash out this am, and “consumed” the gifted songbird at the bottom of my stairs, it struck me that cats would make excellent Confederates – because they don’t see any problem with owning people. But they’d NEVAR be Republicans, as the notion of being “pro-life” is just laughable.
So, I guess my being a Southern Demmycrat means I was always destined to be a cat person??
Buenos Dias
Damn, Broom misses a (sorta) open goal.
Ooh, Hippo, I just ‘membered – I wanted to ask ya to put some poney on Pulev to win the boxing match tonight … Not much, just enough to mush that fucker into getting TKO’d in the first seconds of the game (I had the “pleasure” of meeting that cunt in real life and … I’m with team “Not Pulev” tonight)
Is this a Bulgaria thing??
In this particular case it’s “I met the guy once and he was enough of a belligerent cunt that I was about to draw my Glock on him” thing.
$45 on the thundercunt, at 6-to-1!
/my first fighting bet as an adult
Also, I am deffo “0 for today” so you shall have your satisfaction, Imaginary Tank Friend!
Or you’ll get a bit of a cash infusion … and there’s nothing wrong with that
Also, I’m wondering if wifey’s a bad parent for letting the kiddos play Cyberpunk 2077, ’cause I think there’s even a dong slider (at the character creation stage, so it’s probably worse down the line)
Surprisingly, Illinois still has a football team. Unsurprisingly, they still appear to stink. (Just missed a field goal, 10 yards short.)
Sooo, it was from the 20?
Broke an away game losing streak last year.
At UConn, of course.
A friend got me into a skybox for that game. All the food and beer you could consume. It was a good time, other than the football.
I once dated a 6’3″ waitress for awhile and my nickname for her was “Skybox”.
/never shared that with her, believe it or not
… is that high… or I’ve always had a thing for taller womenfolk and just realized that simple truth?
I had an epiphany several years ago when I looked back at my dating history in high school/college and realized that every single one of them girlycakes played basketball or volleyball.
always destined for the skybox!
PREACH!!!
Kevin The Broom with the hip check! Love the hockey instincts.
In the “Kill Them All” game, ND is surprisingly way up on Kenfucky.
Thought that was “the game of life” smh
Just have Kentucky turn up the fans; Notre Dame can’t handle high winds.
Just stumbled onto a roller-derby rerun from 1990 and it’s like if they put pro wrestlers on skates and sucked all the acting ability out of them with a giant vacuum.
OMAIGOD,
Team Secular Big Love and Colorado has all of Gus Johnson, Jenny Taft, and SNOW!!
Lovie Smiths-Matt Uffords being played in the Lake Michigan equivalent of a tropical storm.
Hobo Lovie Smith looks MOAR liek an alien today…
Can we like… skip to January 1st, ’cause 2020’s going even moar 2020 on us
Look, we are all just going to fast forward (and then rewind, as need be) to the lesbian parts. The plot does not matter.
The problem is that they won’t make good lesbian parts, they’ll make wokeAF parts with probably have a non-binary half asian/half black person in a wheelchair self-identifying as a stapleras version of Al Powell and an androgynized Charlize or … forgot the woman in “Terminator N+1: Yes, we’re retconning everything but 1 and 2… Yes.. Again”
Also shitty Adobe after-effects “shootouts” (I saw a part of Magnum today and … they’re CGI-ing small/lame fucking flames now) and no cocaine for Harry !
Well I’ll be damned. I finally found a scenario where adding lesbians doesn’t improve things!
Why can’t I just get an Atomic Blonde sequel?
Herbstreit in an Army helicopter flying through rain and mist is pooping his pants on live television.
When you said “Herb Street” I thought you had somehow gotten hold of the location data from Josh Gordon’s phone.
/Justin Blackmon has entered the chat
No Ohio State-Michigan game?!
The Jerk – All I Need – YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4VbI5zcB8Ac&feature=emb_imp_woyt
Preparing for the Man City and Sillycuse games by watching the The Ted Bundy Tapes.
I thought ol’ Ted was MOAR of a Florida State man??
Eventually. He did some quality work around Puget Sound earlier in his career.
True, his early work was clearly the top of his game.
His later ‘albums’ were rushed, disorganized-he clearly didn’t care about the art anymore.
/time for a long, hot cleansing shower
Christ and Sonny Jeebus, so tilted that I have bet on Arminia Bielefeld
Troyes have 72% possession but can’t get one goddamned soccer point
I only bet on City today. Perhaps some Sud Americano later.
I was feeling United, so your bet is safe af
I forgot, in honour of wifey’s lil sis – GO NAVY, BEAT (THE EVERLOVING FUCKING SHIT OUTTA THE) ARMY
Is this deep cover so you can get a nuclear sub for Festivus??
No, she’s in the USMC… dunno why (or how) but after 1 year in CalTech she got drunk, got a waiver and enlisted XD
For the record, from what I’ve been told.. she was the shy, quiet and reasonable of the 3 XD
she hot?? REALLY low expectations??
/I am wearing my formal bathrobe, TOTES a catch
She’s only hot if you consider athletic 6′ 4” blondes with blue eyes, mensa membership and serious hand to hand skills “hot”…
She’s also engaged, so unless fiancee Nr2 (also a Marine) doesn’t fuck up like Nr1 (got caught cheating in time for X-mas ’18) … she’s off the market 😀
<3 <3 <3
/this means THIRD TIME IS A CHARM
I think the second time will be fine.. Oh well, they’ll be here for X-mas in like 4 days, so I’ve already hidden my good booze and cigars (my heart still skips a beat remembering the three sisters nuking 3 grand worth of booze…and drinking that mixed with goddamn diet coke) and can’t wait to troll fiancee Nr2 (aka Jerry) that soon I’ll have more tanks than his beloved Corps 😀
Which reminds me, I wonder if the drawdown of the tank units of the USMC would allow me to get an M1A1 on the cheapish XD
oh yeah, that Diet Coke fiasco! I remember now.
There was a second one, I complained about the first one.. The second all 3 were drinking me into an early grave.. and 2 of the 3 also attacked my Cuban smokes…
G’afternoon ladies, germaniums and “TBD” ‘s … How’s this fine-arse day treatin’ ya so far?
Just poured a coffee, had a thc gummy. West Brom is losing. Everything is A ok.
/until tomorrow morning
What a coincidence, I just poured myself some coffee myself … a CamelBak’s worth, so call it 2.5 litres. No THC for me, tho, just a 4K projection screen, decent speakers and a couple of machines I’m prepping for the winter (while awaiting the bloody courier to bring me my refurbed Lycoming turbine pack)
Ladies and Gentlemen and Variations thereupon (Doctor Who – Midnight) – YouTube
Gee, thanks – clicking that link led to a 5 minute tirade by wifey on the downfall of Doctor Who and a further couple of minutes on what decidedly illegal forms of torture she’d use on Chibs and the rest of the current producers and writers
Tell your better half I feel her pain. They have the right Doctor but they have too many companions and the producer destroying the canon instead of building upon it. And don’t get me started on the Master.
Eh, she’s not exactly a fan of 13 either, but at least she’s willing to apply the Hayden Christensen test aka “reserve judgement until seen in another movie, preferably with known writers/staff”, especially since basically the same staff managed to completely misuse Peter Capaldi
Oh well, at least we still have …. Uhh… shit, the last last couple of years nuked most scifi franchises – Star Wars, Star Trek, Who, Terminator, Predator (Christ, that was bad), Aliens……
I think I’m gonna have myself a quick cry in the corner
Have you checked out The Expanse? I recommend both the books and the series.
I read the first 4 books, but I kinda lost interest midway through Cibola (dunno why, but I actually got more bored than latter-day Honorverse and Safehold novels) I gave a season and a half to the series, but it just didn’t work for me.
Too bad you like the current cast of Who, btw, because I think I heard that only Yaz remains as a companion after the holiday special
Eh, it’s fine. Companions come and go; it’s what they do. The alternative is for them to become mini-Doctors who we’re repeatedly told are super duper awesome special people (looking at you, Rose Tyler). I guess I like Who to be stories about the ability of ordinary people to do great things when properly directed and inspired by the Doctor, not about how ordinary people become (or are revealed to have been all along) extraordinary badasses.
I don’t know that I’d put any of the current companions high up on any personal ranking scale; I really just meant that I don’t see them as the reason why Thirteen’s tenure has been unremarkable.
To be honest, I don’t really have a horse in this particular pop-culture race – I do watch Doctor Who when it’s on, but from comments on scifi/pop culture shows I listen to, it’d appear that Chibs’ writing really is as poor as she claims compared to what came before.. Frankly, I’m more concerned about Star Trek and how it’s actively bad and shits on the lore and tone of what came before, sprinkled with such insanely terrible writing that make the Warp 10 episode from Voyager seem like Shakespeare in comparison 😀
I like all of the current cast, and I even like the idea of a “crowded TARDIS.” I’m not wild about the changes to canon, as I’ve always preferred the notion that the Doctor wasn’t born special but was just another Time Lord who happened to have a bit more of a conscience and a knack for improvisation, but I’m willing to roll with it.
My real gripe is just that the stories all seem to be solid but unspectacular B episodes (even the ones that try to be blockbusters). There haven’t been any real stinkers, but no gems either.
Sillycuse/BC game is still a go. Nice.
I vote we adopt Marvelous Nakamba as a DFO mascot. What a great name.
I think I took a wrong turn off wine avenue last night and went down whisky road.
If you still have phone, wallet, and keys – pat yourself on the back.
I did nae go anywhere except my living room and balcony. We be on lock down starting yhis wknd for a month.
whatever you do – DO NAE check “sent” folder for texts/e-mails to ex-girlfriends
Oh I know that disease and the likely recipients! The 20 mg thc candy has mellowed the headace.
… real men cure headaches the way God intended, damn it… With MOAR whiskey and track tensioning, not some newfangled veganese THC shortcuts… (just in case it’s not glaringly obvious.. this be a joke, plus I do know what THC is… aside from everything else, it’d appear that 3/4 ers of podcasts are peddling those these days)
I have a job interview on Monday. No booze today as 2 days after drinking is my “sad, depressed day”, can’t have those brain thoughts on Monday. Tomorrow I will be sad already as the Eagles get killeds, Fulham gets murdered and the high is -13 °C.
But if you show up with a broken will and general depression you’d be a perfect candidate… after all, then they can fast-forward to the last stage of job acclimatisation – the tired acceptance that everything and everyone at work is shit and that the only thing stopping you from torching the whole building is the steady paycheque 😀
I have been acting in this role for 13 months. Supposed to have 3 people working for me. I have had 0. If I do not get this promotion I am burning that place to the ground.
If it comes to this – mix some packing foam (polysterine) peanuts stir in best into a bucket of gasoline, pour gently into glass container of your own choosing and tape a road flare (or a sparkler) and … y’know what to do…
OR so I’m told (during a seminar on irregular warfare and improvised weapons… still don’t know why that was part of the curriculum during my conscription btw)
At least you stayed away from Copperhead Rd, heard the people up there have more booby traps and weapons than the Vietcong. Like they have something to hide.
Cunty McCunterson on a yellow now
Dougie Luiz got all too fresh smgdh
Hippo apologizes for suggesting the early bird fixture would be all entertain-like.
Do recall that I am almost always on drugs.
Not sure how I got here. New computer, couldn’t remember password, on account of getting older (maybe), or being stoned (definitely), and been wanting to comment but feeling stupider than usual even, because I figured out one of the hidden themes in music videos but couldn’t say anything and couldn’t even get my shit together to claim my gently used fleshlight for tipping footy and this is a very long sentence. Thanks for listening.
One of us! ONE OF US!!!
/now, choose yer Prem side
Validation appreciated.
Not sure I can generate any actual feelings of loyalty for anything English. I was raised in a Scottish family and my Glaswegian father instilled in me a distrust of all things English. I am not as bigoted as he was, rest his soul, but if I had to pick a soccer squad it would be Celtic, 1970, when they beat the Rangers and riots commenced in the street just outside my Gran’s flat on Gallowgate Road. I remember being eight years old, hiding out in a Parkhead butcher shop doorway with my dad as the proto-hooligans tumbled past. I also remember a car on fire. That was AWESOME! I know that Celtic took a downturn later on but that is something I’ll never forget.
#noScotlandnoparty
Get me my damn vaccine so I can go to Glasgow in June and march with the Tartan Army.
Who is this weird hobo they have sitting TOO CLOSE to Rebecc-ur? And where are teh Robbies???
Fucking Jack Grealish is a drunk driving, diving cunt.
Morning, y’all, Jack Grealish is a cunt
Guy can’t even commit to being fully Greal for Christ sake, smgdh.
[yawns, leisurely scratches crotch]
“Mornin’, folks”
No, Scotchy, your *own* crotch.