Your “Oh So Hot!” Saturday NFL Football Doubleheader Open Thread

It’s beginning to look a lot like Saturday games will be mostly the norm for a while. It is that time of the year.

TO THE GAMES!

Bills/Broncos:

-Drew Lock has a feisty/league-leading ADOT of 10.07 which is a little surprising. I guess his 4 TD throws last week were a bit surprising as well. Thing is, they all came from a clean pocket-when he’s under pressure his qb rating is a league-worst 25.

-The Long Game Needs Work-Josh Allen’s ADOT is an above average 8.81 but last week in the win over the Steelers he was 0-6 with 1 INT on throws over 20 yards.

-Both Denver rb’s Gordon and Lindsay are listed as questionable but expected to play.

-What to make of this? The Bills have the 32nd ranked rush D but they’ve kiboshed Ekeler (44 yds), Mostert (42) and Conner (18) since coming off their bye week. Looks like things are turning around just at the right time.

-Overlooked? Tim Patrick has averaged 14.6 fantasy points since week 9 with Lock under center. He should be okay today as it’s likely Jeudy that gets Bills airtight cb White.

Panthers/Packers:

-An interesting battle to watch should be de Burns vs David Bakhtiari-the former plays at both ends of the line so they should duke it out on about 50% of Rodgers’ drop backs.

-Under Fire: Carolina is missing five guys from the secondary that have started this year and they gave up 4 TD passes last week. Davante shall feast!

-Don’t underestimate Teddy B though-he had a 30+ fantasy game on the road vs the Chiefs. He’ll also benefit by getting D.J. Moore back. Curiously, starting at about halfway through the season Jaire Alexander started lining up exclusively on the left side so no one wr is going to be taken out of the game today as they’ll be moved around.

-Good For Me: (and you if you grabbed him) Te Rob Tonyan has saved some fantasy teams from the scrap heap by scoring a TD in each of the last four weeks. He’s bolstered a lousy position in fantasy (really, there’s no one outside Kelce and Waller that’s doing anything) with his recent shenanigans.

Speak to me and others down below.

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Doktor Zymm

Bridgewater has been skipping arm day

BrettFavresColonoscopy

He already had the worst possible leg day

Brick Meathook

You know what’s a great snack? A hard-boiled egg dusted with Old Bay seasoning. (the secret ingredient is celery salt!)

herodotus450

Also a great way to lose a 1940s detective who’s hot on your trail.

yeah right

I’m going to give that a go.

rockingdog

last funny:

It’s only a chihuahua if it comes from the Chihuahua region of Mexico. Anything else is just a sparkling mouse.

Gumbygirl

+1 DOC!

Brocky

god: hey watch this. I’m gonna let a relatively slow qb score a rushing touchdown, eliminating any hope of some mike davis points, then im gonna let rodgers score on a long pass.

jesus: why?

god: because fuck brocky thats why!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

God: /walks away snickering Guess you should have finished that Fantasy Gods hate Brocky series, huh?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I made myself a cocktail with rye, peppermint schnapps, and chocolate bitters. Did invent that or did it already exist? If the former, names?

blaxabbath

Why is D Adams underperforming, statistically?

rockingdog
Gumbygirl

Touchdown Bama!

King Hippo

I am enjoying it! Fuck off, Florida.

blaxabbath

Say what you will about college football, it takes many of our dumbest, most violent southerners and let’s them focus their madness on destroying each other rather than hurting civilized people.

Gumbygirl

Take it from someone who has lived in every corner of this country, violent tendencies and stupidity are not just southern traits, they are All American.

Last edited 3 years ago by Gumbygirl
blaxabbath

That’s too bad.

Gumbygirl

It really is.

Mr. Ayo

Everyone else seems scared to say it, so I will.

The Gators are a trash team.

Mr. Ayo

Stupid autocorrect. That was supposed to be Trask, not Trash. Although both do apply.

rockingdog

Lazard with the

BUTTERFINGERS

Doktor Zymm

With only one game on, it feels like Sunday night. I’ll be pleasantly surprised by not having work tomorrow.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I worked a bit today so now I’m just cranky

Horatio Cornblower

THIS PANTHERS PASS RUSH I CALL IT A FAMILY REUNION, BECAUSE AARON RODGERS IS EASILY AVOIDING IT!!!

rockingdog

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Last edited 3 years ago by rockingdog
Gumbygirl

I’m watching the SEC championship game. Sorry/ Not Sorry.

herodotus450
King Hippo

Pretty sure Bama’s 3rd string would win the Pac-12.

Mr. Ayo

With a 4 team playoff, it only makes sense to consolidate to 4 power conferences.

herodotus450

Probably could just consolidate down to 1 conference. Around 30 teams. Space them out around the country, arranged into divisions. And let the players skip class if they want to, and pay them according to “contracts.” Wait a minute…

Gumbygirl

I think so.

Horatio Cornblower

My FF team is absolutely kicking ass this week, the week after I lost in the play-offs.

Doktor Zymm

Aw man, is this game gonna be uncompetitive too?

litre_cola

I have Black Panthers +10.5, so hoping for garbage points and more wine, which I know is going to happen.

Doktor Zymm

In that case, may the Panthers thrive more heartily than their extinct namesake!

litre_cola

Zymm, I have another one for you through my stoner music rabbithole. Very London.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PA5uuBCtZ5k

Viva La Tabula Raza

Well that’s just crazy.

Horatio Cornblower

I’m working my way through a biography of Winston Churchill and (spoiler alert) I’ve gotten to the point where Hitler and Eva Braun kill themselves, and the author, in a footnote, says that Churchill libeled Braun by calling her Hitler’s mistress, when in fact they were married.

Sir, she married Hitler. I don’t think libel is on the table after that.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Who among us?

King Hippo

I mean, one wakes up with a raging hangover, searches for one’s keys, then the fear sets in. Oh Christ, I hope I didn’t marry Hitler again!!

Doktor Zymm

Wouldn’t mind getting half of Germany in the divorce though

hippofant

Didn’t they only get married at the last minute before committing suicide? They were husband and wife for all of like half an hour.

Horatio Cornblower

That’s the usual story but I vaguely recall that it was a matter of a few days or weeks.

All I know for sure is that I didn’t get an invite and sure as hell didn’t send a card.

King Hippo

Still, her HONOUR suffered such offense!

litre_cola

Beef tenderloin, cabernet is continuing, edibles engaged, now time for toddler sleep and all will be well.

Horatio Cornblower

Mrs. Cornblower took some leftover potatoes and ham, added eggs and bernaise sauce, (because that’s how she rolls), and whipped up a variation of eggs benedict this evening.

I, uh, I did the dishes afterward.

Gumbygirl

Breakfast for dinner is alwaysgood.

litre_cola

Waffles and chicken all day, every day.

yeah right

Hell yes.

Mr. Ayo

New year’s resolution:

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

So either no one noticed or someone was real goal oriented about burying their bone.

jjfozz

Dream: I get a chip in my brain, it allows me to download every pilot experience and owner manual for the A-10 Warthog. After reducing my former office building to smoking, flaming ruins, and then strafing every ass fuck that works there, I set course for Green Bay and completely decimate Lambeau Field.

My soul is full of curdled venom.

Mr. Ayo

A pilot license would be fun.

h
ttps://www.gifdeliverynetwork.com/zestyimportantbluefish

Horatio Cornblower

Buddy Sprinkles Saves The Day
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I’d kill a hobo for this beer, but around here I don’t have to. I can just go buy it.

Mr. Ayo

You can just do it for sporting fun.

Horatio Cornblower

I mean, I don’t want to limit myself.

Mr. Ayo

Well, that’s some quality SEC derping.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Just made myself a peppermint schnapps hot chocolate. Let’s fucking gooooooo

Horatio Cornblower

That’s good hustle!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

A little swiss miss goes a long way

Horatio Cornblower

But enough about Eva Braun…

Beerguyrob

WineWife has spent a good chunk of the afternoon prepping short ribs in gochujang. They will be ready in an hour.

Once my arm is better I might have to break it again.

Gumbygirl

I’m having pate with truffles on wheat toast with chopped onions and cucumbers. Maybe some pinot noir.

yeah right

That’s how this shit works!

herodotus450

insane rules change take: get rid of this “half the distance” nonsense. If a penalty puts you in the endzone, it’s a safety. Or something else ridiculous.

Horatio Cornblower

Holding in the end zone will already get you a safety, so precedent’s been set.

Doktor Zymm

That sounds excellent. I might go margarita and tamales

Horatio Cornblower

When I was in law school there was a bar/restaurant in Hartford that had all you could eat/drink margaritas and fajitas on one night of the week, (probably Tuesday, when they were looking to get rid of last week’s leftovers, come to think of it), for like $15.

That place is no longer in business, and hasn’t been for years, and I have to believe that they were sued into oblivion based on the state people would leave on those nights.

Brocky

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Mr. Ayo

Pantless? Alright, she meets the clubhouse dress code.

Brocky

showerthought: why are hot pants called “pants” when they’re typically skimpier than an average pair of shorts?

yeah right

I’m drinking Storyteller pinot noir. California 2018.

It’s busier than I like from a pinot, actually leans closer to Cab but I’m going to finish the bottle anyway.

litre_cola

Heavy Pinot is good. New world wineries are the only ones who make em so big.

Gumbygirl

My Christmas decorating is not going well…4 strands of lights that all worked last year, half of one working now. I said fuck it, and put the half strand on the tree and let the duds hang down the back. It’s a small tree, so there are enough, sort of, if you have extremely low standards. And I do. 2020 man!

Doktor Zymm

Low standards for the win!

Mr. Ayo

My new strategy is if any lights on the strand are out, toss it. Then replace with LED.

Brocky

kudos for not putting them out too early.

i hate Christmas lights before the first snowfall

Game Time Decision

Thats October here……

Gumbygirl

It was October in Big Bear, but we haven’t had any since.

ballsofsteelandfury

Snow?

Mr. Ayo
yeah right

Here’s our entrance to the new dojo.

Over 3000 lights. DJ TAJ loves his lights.
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Doktor Zymm

That’s pretty sweet

yeah right

I really dig the new place.

Gumbygirl

Looks like you have really nice floors. I hate the carpet in this house with a passion!

yeah right

First purchase was a robot vacuum. Run it twice a week?

There you go.

yeah right

From inside the house looking out. Obviously not 3000 lights in the first shot but they are double stringed throughout the entire house.
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yeah right

There are worse work stations.

I do my best blogging here!
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clint greasewood

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Mr. Ayo

Jamie Erdahl is playing the role of disco ball this evening.

Interesting choice.

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Last edited 3 years ago by Mr. Ayo
Game Time Decision

Is it the shoes?
Its the shoes

rockingdog

ohhhhh shit
Singletary with the big TD run!!!
Garbage time TD’s for everyone!

THATS ROCKING!!!

rockingdog

Melvin Gordon TD!!!!

2TD’s & a whole buncha yrds

Mega Fantasy Football POINTS!!!

THATS ROCKING!!!!

hippofant

Brandon McManus recommending a replacement kicker that misses 3 kicks –> JOB SECURITY, BABY!

Viva La Tabula Raza

That’s a TD.

ballsofsteelandfury

Pubic Service Announcement!

I need you to list for me your favourite Skinemax actresses!

AND GO!

Actors too

Last edited 3 years ago by ballsofsteelandfury
Beerguyrob

Julie Strain.

Col. Duke LaCross

Shannon Tweed
Taime Hannum

Brocky

most of my favorite softcore actresses were actually hardcore actress who had heavily edited films for cable.

i just remember just jumping channels and i see monique alexander and I was like, girl, what are you doing?

ballsofsteelandfury

Names please.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

We’ve already covered that Shannon Tweed is the GOAT

Horatio Cornblower

Lana Tailor, and I will wager a considerable sum of money that isn’t her real name.
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Gumbygirl

I don’t know what Skinemax is, but I’m pretty sure Gumby married me because I looked like Annette Haven.

Last edited 3 years ago by Gumbygirl
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Just three hours of cooking left to be done on this rib roast.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I already know that it will be murder on my head tomorrow, but fuck it. I’m going to have a martini this evening. Maybe even two.

Doktor Zymm

I think I’m going to get a really nice bottle of champagne for my home alone NYE, to honor all the champagne I didn’t get to drink on airplanes this year

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Cool! Can we come over?

Oh, right.

Horatio Cornblower

On the other hand, who’s safer to hang out with than a bunch of shut-ins from your local football and dick-joke blog?

Beerguyrob

We’ve reached the point in the game where the broadcast turns into a tour of local sights.

What’s the Denver equivalent of Pike Place & tossed fish?

ballsofsteelandfury

The airport with the funny looking roof?
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Last edited 3 years ago by ballsofsteelandfury
King Hippo

dispensary?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Duh, Pike’s Peak.

yeah right

Gotta go Red Rocks. It’s just as close to Denver as Hollywood is to Inglewood.

Viva La Tabula Raza

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Unsurprised

That’s a fine likeness of Elway

Mr. Ayo

So which 10-1 ACC team goes to the playoffs?

lol, j/k both are going.

Last edited 3 years ago by Mr. Ayo
clint greasewood

Sorry Texas A&M NCAA needs to recoup some of that money with the Irish

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The Broncos appear to be something of a joke. I’m looking forward to them putting up 45 points on My Raiders in two weeks.

Game Time Decision

In a win or loss? Never know with those teams

King Hippo

In a sense, it’s made things a bit easier that we ain’t even close to being good. In another sense, it really fucking sucks.

litre_cola

Evenin. How the fuck you goin boys? (And gumby, zymm, petronel)

Doktor Zymm

So far, so good. Yourself?

ArmedandHammered

Trying to decide if there is anything in the fridge worth getting off the couch for.

Game Time Decision

Alcohol is calling you

ArmedandHammered

Still unable to drink for some med reasons.

clint greasewood

8 Labatt Blues deep

Beerguyrob

Enjoy shitting a grain car tomorrow morning.

Horatio Cornblower

I thought back to college and laughed so goddamn hard at this, because it’s so true.

Mr. Ayo

Living the dream. On my way to a successful full day of drinking.

yeah right

Sure anyone can be a pretend fan by rocking a team jersey but a REAL fan would rock the orange pants to the grocery store.

ArmedandHammered

Bleergh has feasted today.

Game Time Decision

Bleergh does NAWT like being woken up a day early

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Meanwhile Shan’Khor sleeps the sleep of the sated, after her big night on Thursday.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Someday I should tell the tale of how a madcap crew of unwanted castoffs managed to thwart a major deity.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh, right, the game! I see that the Bills are basically back where they were when I first tuned in.

Doktor Zymm

In my quest to buy a smaller stock pot than my current model, I went out and bought the exact same size stock pot, but fancier and with a pasta attachment. Turns out they don’t actually make stock pots smaller than 8 qts. I should have gone with the 3.5 qt saucepan

yeah right

I’m going to drop the cash and buy myself an enamel cast iron Dutch oven. I’ve always wanted one and I can show it off on next season’s Sunday Gravy.

Not sure on the color yet but I do have a lot of red in my kitchen.

Doktor Zymm

If you’re going Le Creuset, it’s worth trekking to an outlet store. Apparently the one out in Gilroy is having some ridiculous sale until Jan 3rd, so I’m gonna check it out at some point

yeah right

All of my cast iron is from Lodge so I’ll save the cash and lean that way.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

We have two Dutch ovens. They are great.

hippofant

Now I’m reading about dutch ovens and what they’re good for.

They don’t seem THAT great to me. But maybe I just don’t cook the stuff that people use dutch ovens for mostly.

ArmedandHammered

I I use mine a lot to braise chicken and beef. To then use in other dishes.

hippofant

Hmm, yeah. Braising, baking, and deep-frying are not really in my cooking repertoire right now. (Also in some cases, too much work for 1.)

yeah right

There are so many uses. I used one today. You can also use them as a deep fryer.

But. A well seasoned one can make a peach cobbler that will make you see Jesus.

yeah right

Cast iron is essentially a perfect creation. It was first patented in 1707 and hasn’t really changed since.

I’m not really a gun guy but the best firearm I ever used was a Springfield armory 45 caliber 1911. Flawless. And unchanged since…1911.

If the design works?

Game Time Decision

I can’t believe no one has made Dutch oven joke yet

Mr. Ayo

Dead ref!