Good day, imaginary peoples. It’s REALLY here. The day we gets a TRIPLEHEADER of Wild Card, Bitches! action. And it happens again tomorrow! We just needed a world-wide pandemic to make it real. [slaps #NuAIDS on the ass, HARD!]
But first, we have a wacky Lesser Morning, with pretty much every match on ESPN+. I mean, nobody really gives a fuck about anything but Everton hosting Rotherham (7:00, fuck a duck, this gon’ be a long day), but still. Clubhouse favoUrites like Mighty Whitey (away to QPR, 10:00) and Arsenal (home to Barcodes at 12:30 – tough draw, that) get they swerve on.
With nobody in the stands, anywhere. That “2,000 maximum” phase was short-lived, indeed. Really sucks for some of these minnows, for whom this would have made their entire budget (like Marine hosting Spurs tomorrow – would have been the biggest day in club history). But alas. At least we have something on TV at all, to keep people sane, and not, I dunno, trying the most lame-assed palace coup in history.
Eat shit, Traitors. Hippo hopes you all hang. You included, Sen. Hawley. Chickenshit motherfucker.
Indianapolis (+6.5) at Buffalo (1:05, CBS)
That sound you hear in the distance? Tis Rev. Mayhem’s anxious colon. What a day for the table smashers of WNY, led by Brokeback QB. Yes, the strapping young Wyoming product who simultaneously found both accuracy (even deep ball varietal – PHRASING) and the ability to read defenses. Hey, we are all near impossible to surprise by now. Just go with it, and enjoy the ride. Stefon Diggs taking the primary role has allowed Bleeding Kansas to run free behind rebel enemy lines, and even Cole Beasley has a productive role. They still don’t give Devin Singletary enough touches, but makes very little sense for a dumb ass like me to nitpick a 13-3 squadron’s strategery.
Now, before you bet the inheritance on BUF, mind that the Humps have a pretty good pass defense. Some of the smarter analytical folk have wondered whether same can really hold up against ELITE opposition. And as strange as it may seem, that is indeed the state of the Bills’ passing attack. Not much from the TE position, though. Will that allow the Indy secondary to properly bend without breaking? I doubt it, but that’s their chance.
On the other side, you have Indy’s not-so-secret-weapon, in perhaps the League’s bestest offensive line. People talk about defenses winning championships, but that’s just ’cause it’s harder for the layman to fully appreciate dominant OL play. Yes, it was against the Jags, but in Week 17, Jonathan Taylor busted out for 250+. He won’t get that much today, but I’d still look for him to get 30+ touches, and if he creeps over the 150 mark? We just might can has game.
Time of possession will also be critical, or that Humps pass D will fade in the second half. And you really, really don’t want Old Man Rivers trying to go all Air Raid out there. Outdoors. In Buffalo, NY. In fucking January conditions. The Laserface rosary beads will be all about a Game Management Scenario, buhlee DAT!
Opium-tinged Predicion – Buffalo 35, Indianapolis 20
Rivers is in Impregnate mode.
Has anyone triggered the secret slime action yet? Regardless of whether this is the Nickelodeon game or not.
No porta-potty sex. Get yer act together, Buffalo!
Bi Weeks suck -Aaron Rodgers
Indy winning the field position game by a kilometer.
*kilometre
**kiloUmetre
America spelling is kilometer, no?
Uh, Josh Allen’s going to survive this game, right? Intact, I mean?
He’s not allowed to die until he’s thrown 2 more TDs, one of which needs to go to Diggs
And Indy Covers.
Think I’m gonna start calling Gumbygirl by this name.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8qli2-qqZ5g&ab_channel=daveinprogress3
Hey, NC State coming back WOO!!!
Micah Hyde is having himself a quarter.
Micah Hyde is what I do every time that Yoko Ono comes to karaoke..
[snorts]
[heroin]
– John Lennon
/shrieks in laughter
//gets sued by Yoko for infringing the copyrights of all of her songs
Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy he put it all together this year but I sure do miss last year’s “Josh Allen’s Weird and Wonderful Playmaking Carnival”.
/The Bills real MVP this year is qb coach Ken Dorsey, as far as I’m concerned
It’s 10:37 am. Should I roll a joint? Hell yes!
Smoke two joints in the morning
Approved.
I wish I legally could, stupid legislative Baptists and their no fun rules…
That’s a very minor, stupid rule. It’s not like you’re storming the Capitol!
Jeebus always wants u 2 tell teh libtards 2 suck it!!!111
Compare the amount of morons who were on the booze, and the morons on the weed who stormed the Capitol.
I mean, MAYBE the furry with the viking horns
That looked like meth to me.
Yeah, that guy uses pot to come down from everything else he’s on.
It’s the wife’s rule, I can when we go places it is legal, but not in states where it is illegal. She is very paranoid, which makes me happy that she does not partake because I cannot fathom how she would react then.
I had a friend like that in high school. We’d be miles out in the woods and he was sure there were cops hiding in the trees. One time he got so paranoid he was convinced his elbow was on fire, and jumped out of a moving car. Marijuana was NOT for him.
Joke’s on you; his elbow was on fire, and only leaping from a moving car would put it out.
/stoner logic
ppl shame booze before noon, but not pills or wacky tobaccy HUZZAH
Fuckin prudes. Booze with breakfast is glorious
“Kegs & Eggs” was glorious in college, but if I tried doing that post-50 I’d be in the ICU by 2:30.
Or, and hear me out, Booze for Breakfast.
If I started drinking in the morning, I’d be passed out by lunchtime. I can get high all the livelong day and not feel shitty the next day. It’s a very easy choice for me!
PREACH!
Rivers saw that and is thinking, “Hey, that’s my thing!”
I am all in on the Bills-Tits bandwagons
When you said “bills” and “tits” I thought you were talking about Jason Miller opening his mail.
SHOTPUTDOWN!
Wow, that was something.
These Bills are FUN!
“No they aren’t!” – Warren Sapp
37 yard pass with a flick of the wrist. Jeebuz!
He’s a physical marvel. Once he grew into his brain…
The racist teenager part.
That was amazing!
Hey remember when the Bills started Nathan Peterman instead of Josh Allen?
oh, Lainie…
Damn, what a kick-off. SPECIAL TEAMS PROPS.
I do not think I ever won a prop bet. They’s sure fun, though.
*looks at bet slip of 3 props*
Humps need points here. Once Buffalo’s offense gains traction, it could be good night nurse. That play helped.
Rivers going to Float one deep here
Leave my colon out of this! Hasn’t it been through enough????
I’m more worried about your liver
I think it would be smart and forward-looking for us commenters to create a Liver Bank that we could access as need be.
I could get behind that. Since I play a part in the destruction after all…
Dry January and I am stoned as fuck.
We sure know a fella that can keep us stocked in organs…
Thought Bills dont punt?
We preempted the Teen News Action hour for this crap?
Whilst not much of a betting man these days, I declare Clots (+256) on the money line to be Smooth Jimmy’s Lock of the Week.
I bet Taylor to score 1st, allen to go over 2.5 TDs, and diggs to score.
All individual since draft kings won’t let you parlay on a single game
Yeah, this daily fantasy stuff is like kissing your sister. GIVE ME PARLAYS OR GIVE ME DEATH, VIRGINIA!!!
They’ll let you bet on the outcome of a drive though. Bastards
So I guess with the FG, your first-named bet is already over? I know nothing about gambling.
How are the strip clubs in Charlotte? Asking for my friend, Dwayne.
Hippo and TWBS went to the Capital Cabaret once or twice:
https://www.doorfliesopen.com/2018/01/15/fishnet-a-botg-investigation/
Hi, Dwayne.
Was anyone else right about Akers and Taylor in fantasy but their season was lost by the time both of them got going?
Am disappoint at the lack of lake-effect snow. DUE BETTER Buffalo smh
It’s Always Sunny In Buffalo during a Wild Card! game.
Remember those dumb non-Plague years, when we had to wait all the way till 4:30 for FITBAW, and even then it was the 500s?
found a funny:
babies born in the hospital are delivered, babies born at home are DiGiorno
found a whoa:
https://twitter.com/NaturelsWeird/status/1347940193316134912
am going
Bills -6 1/2
Rams under 42 1/2
Bucs -9
As the Arsenal game’s started … I’m goin’ offline for the time being, because I have 0 doubt in my mind that when (not if) we fuck up, you lot will be less than helpful 😛 So, cya in like 2 hours, 3 cigars or an insurmountable (and improbable) lead for my lads… whichever comes first 😀
We decided to cut the cable this week, so going to have some fun trying to find streams or apps to watch the games from here on out. Bad planning but it wasn’t being used so makes sense/cents that way
Fubo TV is good
Thanks. Found a stream
Morning Folks. I’m alive and think the worst is over. Covid was no joke.
During my fever dreams I saw a Walmart parking lot riot at the Capital, turned out it wasn’t a fever dream. Fucking worthless pigs.
Glad you’re alive
thats ROCKING!!!
Well at least QPR can fuck off now.
Here’s to a day that let’s hope History doesn’t remember for anything but sportsball, because frankly I could use the break.
Today’s plan involves yours truly lifting weights and using a chainsaw, two activities that males over 50 should always engage in, because what’s the worst that could happen?
Too late for that, history’s already gonna ‘member this day for the snowy shitshow that is Spain atm, so can we like ammend that to “no political reasons to remember this day” instead?
/Googles ‘Spain’
3′ of snow? I’m jealous as fuck.
My buddy from Zaragoza sent me a bunch of pics. His kids are in heaven.
Lucky that he wasn’t on the road, or he’d have been in Dante’s bonus level of Hell – Trapped with kids in a massive weather-related traffic jam 😀
The Donner Party set the bar for dealing with those types of situations.
It’s a low bar.
Just like we told you after the last time we covered for your “hobby” … cannibalism isn’t always (or even mostly) the answer
Looks like a lovely day in West London. I remember travelling…..
I remember travelling too… and frankly, I don’t miss it too much, ’cause most of my travelling was to act as a fire brigade of sorts for multiple company projects across the EU to the tune of occasionally forgettin’ where the bloody hell I am 😀 … I do slightly miss being able to just have everyone pile on in the Cessna and jet on to see whichever city (in range) had good weather and even better sights, tho
My yearly Euro trip went away when Deci was born but he is old enough now for us to drop him off at the grandfolks and cross the Atlantic.
Oh well, still healthy etc.
It’s the exact opposite on our end (well was… fuck you 2020) with us only really starting to travel after the kiddos’ were born as before that were the hectic days of working full time and studying in uni, so it was time to live a little . It also helped that around that time we finally started pulling good enough money to have a proper peace of mind and enough breathing room to let ourselves live a little 🙂
Taylor Heinicke trending towards starting tonight….
G’afternoon ya buggers, how’re the betting gods treatin’ ya so far?
Am on GAMBLOR hiatus. Is very shameful. Ready for some Gooner fun today, or will you opt for Bills/Humps?
I’m in a good mood, so I’ll go with Bushmills, Hasegawa’s Tu-144D and Led Zep in the barn tbh. I’ll maybe watch the later games (especially to root for the Team, ’cause I just want to watch the world burn :D)
Edit:WAITAMINUTE.mp3… Gamblor hiatus? … Wha’ happun’?!
Colts, Heaux, Bradys ATS today for me.
aaaannnnndddd unclench
I have had way too much coffee this early.
That’s the thing with coffee. Too much is NEVAR enough.
Don Carlo must have given a proper bollocking before ET.
Fisted clear by Blackman
/Lesser PHRASING keels over ded
Mina was offside, but not Cenk (he’s too slow)
If this ends in a draw, do they replay? Not up on my tourney rules.
nope, ET then pens (Plague Year roolz)
Less of a GAP before the Mightey Whitey (nawt insurrectionist) match.
Happy Hippo!
#ShortLived
Absolute thievery WOO!!!!
VAR’D!!!!
Turkishgol!!!!!!
We’s gon’ lose to Rotherham, y’all
They are all over yous
It’s certainly making my ass itch.
That could be bedsores.
good point, better #PillUp
FOOTBALL!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jo-Q0KaCrCQ
As for Marine FC v Tottenham, the non league club did not get the payday due to gate that they had anticipated and need. They came up with a virtual ticket for 10 quid which gets you a stream of the game and entered into a draw for a bunch of stuff. They also are building a retaining wall at their ground and everyone who bought a virtual ticket to support their club gets their name permanently on that wall. I really should have went with Litre_Cola but alas my name will have to do.
This is what you get from the raffle;
I would obv donate it all and demand a damn footy scarf.
I also believe that Carragher gave the Marine (not war) foundation 180k to supplant what they lost from advertising money. It is a “feel good” story in an otherwise shit footballing situation.
Dunno why the link didn’t work. Anyway look up Marine AFC and chuck em 10 quid.
“Wait, quid?”
Me, standing in the Post Office arguing about why I can’t send giant mollusks to England via the mail.
Jose Mourinho bought a ticket
Hippo do you have long distance mind control on Decilitre? 4:55 am, Daddy wake up its soccer time…..
Sounds like a proper Bitter Blue in the making. Good lad!