Your “And An Old Man Shall Lead Them” NFC Divisional Round Playoff Game Open Thread

Forty plus year old quarterbacks-next thing you know there’ll be running backs in their mid-to-late 30’s playing! [Frank Gore swings his cane futilely in my general direction] Right, right. Anyway…

TO THE GAME!

Bucs/Saints:

-The math monkeys locked in my basement inform me that the Saints’ odds of beating the Bucs for a third time this year come in at an unholy 66.6%. Of course Packer haters are cheering for T.B./TB because of the 38-10 shellacking they gave Green Bay many, many weeks ago.

-Versus the Saints the Bucs averaged -0.17 expected points per play. Against the rest of the league that number was +0.16.

-Keep an eye out for Saints secondary wr’s Sanders and Humphrey because Tampa has been burned by Cam Sims (104 yards) and Russell Gage (91) the last two weeks.

-Speaking of Saints wr’s, Ball Dropper Extraordinaire Tre’Quan Smith has been activated for this game. My prediction? He will drop a ball.

-Are we still talking wr’s? Yes, yes we are because Mike Evans averages a paltry three catches for 34 yards per game when shadowed by Marshon Lattimore.

-Paging Mr. Noodly Arm: The Bucs pass D ranks a middling 21st in the league. Their run D is another story, morning, er, evening glory.

-As a matter, both run D’s allow runners about 3.6 yards per carry. In what should be a close game, if either team’s rb’s can get into the 4.5, 4.8 range that should be a distinct advantage.

Nugget Time: Tampa guard Ali Marpet last allowed a sack in week 6… of the 2019 season.

-RoJo is designated as a ‘questionable’  game-timer but did practice on Thursday so he’s likely a go.

Have you considered typing your thoughts in the comments?

 

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clint greasewood

Jameis Awaits
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hippofant

Da fuck are you even talking about Troy? Brees threw it a mile behind Thomas and he was grabbing at Thomas the whole time. Not sure how that wasn’t DPI!

hippofant

Is it possible that Aikman is suffering from Patrick Mahomes’ concussion?

LemonJello

Trent Green would nod in agreement, but that would make the noises come back.

Gumbygirl

He has wicked bad CTE. He’ll be completely unintelligible in 5 years, max.

Doktor Zymm

Andy Reid saying that Mahomes was hit in the back of the head, and is doing really well. I’m setting the line at Tuesday for cleared to play.

Redshirt

I calling cleared to play on Wednesday, but they don’t say it until Sunday.

Gatoraids

And Breesus Wept

Spur

There you go. Get fucked Brees

litre_cola

Spur and I agree on something. 2021!

Viva La Tabula Raza

Whoops!

Redshirt

This game I call it the Darth Vader-Obi-Wan Kenobi duel in Star Wars, because 19-years ago, it would’ve been a nice fight, but now with the persons involved older and slower, it just sad to watch and it needs to end.

clint greasewood

Fox News: America is watching us destroy democracy.

hippofant

I’m confused, why aren’t their commercials all rambling on about Hunter Biden now?

Redshirt

Ever since the Programming Director got knocked off Twitter, they don’t have a clue what to do.

Gumbygirl

They are gonna get their asses hauled in to explain their lying to more than one congressional comittee and courtroom if there is any justice left in the world.

clint greasewood

I’m sure they have a couple queued up to blame him for COVID-19, National Debt, Something happening in Chicago, ect.

Redshirt

Director: “Cue to Biden scenario #429.”

“Donald Trump ate a puppy in front of a school bus of Special Need Children, but the question that all Americans are asking is why did so-called President Biden allow it to happen.”

Dunstan

Right now half their audience still doesn’t think Biden is going to be president, so they have to hold off on that.

clint greasewood

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litre_cola

They totally fuck prison style.

Gumbygirl

Gumby would totally do her, he’s always telling me.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Sorry. Martha says, “Once you go black, you never go back.”

litre_cola

If we got stoned before and she made food after, absolutely.

Mother Puncher

It sucks that Brady just had to get matched up against the only team in the league more despicable than his. Go Bucs I guess?

Gumbygirl

I don’t want him anywhere near another Superb Owl, but if it happens I want him to get straight up murdered by the Bills.

Redshirt

I’m for the Chefs, but only because I put $20 on them to win the Super Bowl and I really need the $140 right now.

Gumbygirl

Acceptable excuse.

Senor Weaselo

6-1 odds (plus your original bet)? Not bad.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Well, the Bills would certainly be justified, the way Brady sodomized them so thoroughly during his NE years.

Gumbygirl

Yes. It would be really very good karma.

Doktor Zymm

I heard she bakes him cookies shaped like marijuana leaves

Viva La Tabula Raza

With marijuana in them!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

That was fantastic coverage

LemonJello

-OANN, on their reporting since the election

Redshirt

They are afraid to punt.
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Last edited 3 years ago by Redshirt
King Hippo

Back to Footy Manager!

Spur

This game is still in the 1st quarter

hippofant

Joe Buck: Brees gets the ball out of his hands so fast, Raheem Morris talked to his players this week about getting their hands up if they’re in his passing lane.
Troy Aikman: Goes on for 3 minutes basically saying, “Yep, that’s what Jason-Pierre Paul did right there. See, right there, just like that! They talked about this in practice. It’s very important that they talked about this in practice, so they remembered it during the game, otherwise they might forget!”
Me: MY BRAINS THEY’RE COMING OUT MY EARS

Last edited 3 years ago by hippofant
Gumbygirl

I think Buck needs to reset the Troybot.

Redshirt

And you guys and gals wonder why I listen to the radio the weekly Bungaling Comedy Shows.

Viva La Tabula Raza

How often do Bengals game get called by Joe and Troy? I can’t remember the last time that happened.

Redshirt

Its all games. These are the A-team. Just imagine listening to the H-team for a dozen times a year.

clint greasewood

JPP using his legs seems logical, since he blew up his hands with fireworks.

Redshirt

Well, it took the whole season, but thanks to Fox’s animated player pictures, I now got this music video stuck in my head.

a-ha – Take On Me (Official 4K Music Video) – YouTube

Senor Weaselo

BTW, have we mentioned anything in the Phil Spector Murdered Someone Memorial Thread?

Gumbygirl

Thought about posting River Deep, Mountain High, but I got distracted by my pineapple cake. Which looks magnificent, by the way!

Gumbygirl

Here ya go. Good riddance, creepy mofo! And Ike too!
https://youtu.be/jhkIh4x4mmM

Viva La Tabula Raza

Trump is going to claim credit for facilitating Phil’s building of a Wall of Sound.

Doktor Zymm

Another reason why fuck florida: some asshole wrote ‘Trump’ on a manatee https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-55631498

King Hippo

Good Lord, Breesus needs to go back to curing lepers. His quartered backery days is over.

litre_cola

Nothing left in the heater.

Gumbygirl

Truth.

Redshirt

No shame in that though. Father Time is undefeated and Brees has a first ballot HOF career.

Doktor Zymm

Gotta send him some HGH and deer antler spray

Senor Weaselo

I know the guy who was the fiddler for Lightning games, don’t know if he still does it.

King Hippo

I mean, BUF gon’ beat the tar shit out of the Henne Chefs. We need NO to win so we can have a decent, slobberknocker NFC finale.

Senor Weaselo

I’ll text Senor’s Bills fan friend (now living in LA) who will go absolutely crazy if that happens.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I hope Payton gets fined for wearing his facemask like it was a goiter.

Gatoraids

Cute aiken trying to analyze after the play like Romo does before it

Viva La Tabula Raza

Reading through the comments below and the profession of some folks pulling for TB (both), I feel like I have entered an alternate universe.
*Rod Serling steps into picture from stage left, cigarette in hand*

Gatoraids

Only acceptable sympathy would be just cuz you know t pisses Belliicheck off buts that’s not enough and you know Tom wouldn’t have refused the medal

Horatio Cornblower

Tom would have wanted the medal, but I suspect Giselle would have given him a choice or ever seeing her naked again, and that would have been it.

Redshirt

Beneath all the craziness of 2020, this got past us. How did we let this happen?!

Budweiser’s new beer is missing a key ingredient: Alcohol – CNN

Doktor Zymm

There was also a non-alcoholic gin released this year which just…why

litre_cola

That’s like weed with no THC or CBD. Ain’t no point!

Dunstan

But all the pro-legalization guys back in the day insisted that hemp was a miracle plant that had thousands of non-recreational uses if only we legalized it!

(I’m pro-legalization, I just hate bullshit disingenuous arguments.)

Viva La Tabula Raza

I had to drink NA beer for over 7 months while I was in Kuwait. Only at the end of my tour did I figure out that Beck’s NA was actually 0.5 %, and if I drank 6 or 8 I’d get a buzz. Good thing I didn’t know that early, because I’d probably have come home weighing 400 lbs.

Last edited 3 years ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
clint greasewood

Once beverage makers realized they can remarked Zima and sell “hard” seltzer to millennials and Gen Z. They figured selling near beer could work.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Also, taste.

clint greasewood

Does Fox really need their divisional logo up there? Fuck sake it’s distracting

Redshirt

Sure glad they cleared that up, because I was getting ready for a Conway Twitty cutaway.

Redshirt

At this rate, the Bucs may choose to only go for it on 4th Down so their Punt Coverage team doesn’t lose the game for them.

Doktor Zymm

Floridians don’t deserve Florida. The Everglades are a natural wonder of the world, amazing sea life and unique ecosystems and they go and plop eyesores like Tampa everywhere

hippofant

They also consistently vote for the oceans that are rising to drown them all.

Gatoraids

We can’t get enough of it. More room for the beautiful boaters

Doktor Zymm

They’re happy to wall it off and then pay a metric fucktonne of money to ship in new sand all the time

Viva La Tabula Raza

The problem is that the karst topography is full of subterranean channels that allow the water under the walls. It’s fruitless. New Yorker had a very good article about it a few years back. Not gonna hunt the link down during a game though.

Redshirt

We need to get the old people to move to Arizona or something. They won’t know!

Brocky

my great grandparents always spent winters in Florida when I was really young in the early 90s. my grandparents always said when they retired they’d start doing that as well, after they visited their place in tampa.

great grandma passes away in January 2000, grandparents spend two winters down there and sold the place. commercialization ruined that city so fast they decided to just deal with spring floods and Indiana winters

Redshirt

That’s what happened with Grandma. She moved to an island off of Georgia in the early 90s; it was a beautiful paradise. When she moved back in the mid-00s due to wanting to be near family, Urban Sprawl destroyed it.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Watching TV programs showing what has happened to the Everglades over the last century is as depressing as watching Viggo Mortenson in The Road.

Gumbygirl

We lived near Orlando for a year. The springs are just gorgeous, we went all the time. The Seminoles and Creeks knew what was up, the natural parts of Florida are paradise.

clint greasewood

Bruce Arians looking like suicide bomber.

Don T

Resolute? Jumpy? Horny for fictional virgins? Mask don’t help to interpret smh

Last edited 3 years ago by Don T
Dunstan

I spent a summer there once. Which is not exactly the time of year you want to be there.

Gumbygirl

I lived with my Grandma in Bradenton one summer after high school. I saw a car explode in a KMart parking lot because it was so hellishly hot.

Spur

Brees is washed up. He’s going to get hurt in this game.

clint greasewood

Micheal Thomas giving the female ref the thrust.

litre_cola

How many pumps?

LemonJello

Wasn’t 3; no flag on the play.

Gumbygirl

My parents lived close to Tampa when they retired, so I have been many times. Saw the Lightning once. Saw the Steelers, with the mighty Charlie Batch, curbstomp the Bucs on my birthday, it was glorious. Saw the Packers whoop the Bucs there too. Both times, the visiting team had more fans by a metric ass ton.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Most people in the Tampa/St Pete area are retirees, right? There aren’t enough Handicapped parking spots in the carpark to accommodate.

Last edited 3 years ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Beerguyrob

Has Brees made more money over his career, since Brady gave the Pats all those discounts in exchange for winning the rings?

Mr. Ayo

269MM for Brees and 261MM for Brady through this year.

Both are set to make another 25MM next year.

Redshirt

Makes sense. Brees did go to NO as a free agent and Brady would have the Hometown Discount.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Plus all his skeevy side businesses. Or are Brady’s more lucrative?

Redshirt

Brees is too nice and his team was involved in a Bountygate. The worse Brady’s team ever did was cheat.

Brocky

and support trump

Spur

Tampa, FL, where Swingers call home

hippofant

Oh gawd, listening to Troy Aikman after Tony Romo is so painful.

Actually the whole Fox pre-game show was so much more painful than the CBS post-game show. Just the blowhardiest of blowhards.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I tuned over to Bitchin’ Rides over on Motor Trend.

Redshirt

Its like going from a class taught by a young motivated professor and then going to the next class taught by a 75-year old senile professor only here because he’s on tenure.

hippofant

That really hits it, but also the 75-year old professor still thinks he’s the hot shit. (Or he thinks he needs to prove he’s the hot shit.)

Viva La Tabula Raza

I had that guy for Technical Physics! To make matters worse, he was a Czech with heavy accent.

Redshirt

Mine was that in Computer Programming, when I decided to minor in it in college. I got an A in that class but only because he picked me to help teach the class Since I was young and stupid, I ignored that red flag, so I went into the next class knowing nothing and getting a D in the course.

I lost 0.2 GPA and about 10 IQ points thanks to that guy.

Doktor Zymm

Surprised at the lack of MRSA dreamboat hate from some of y’all

King Hippo

I hate him so much that I am barely watching the game, and only without sound.

Gumbygirl

I have enough for everyone.

litre_cola

I just had to make an appointment for a hair cut at my barber, 1st time in my life. I feel so fancy.

Had 1 total in 2020. I am back in grunge band phase.

Doktor Zymm

I still get my hair cut in Chicago, so haven’t been since smarch.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I haven’t had a haircut since the first week of March either. It’s on my shoulders, which it only got to once in my life when I was working in Afghanistan. TBH, it’s a bit ridiculous on a 61 year old man, but I’ve figured out that ever since I was a little kid I have hated haircuts, and I finally have the opportunity to avoid the barber’s chair. Using a lot more shampoo, though.

Doktor Zymm

Stick it in a ponytail and pretend you’re a hippie!

Viva La Tabula Raza

Waddaya mean, “pretend”?

Viva La Tabula Raza

I don’t really care who wins. On the one hand, Drew Brees is a standard issue conservative bible basher which I never find appealing, but the Saints sucked for so many decades that I still feel a deep down sympathy for them, same with TB (although NO won a SB more recently than TB). OTOH, Brady is a conservative Trump buddy who beat him to living in Florida. But it would be kind of interesting to see Brady win yet another SB, if only as a massive FUCK YOU to Belichick and Kraft.

Redshirt

I know. CNN showed a video of the MAGAdiots praying in the Senate Chamber after bashing and attempted murdering the cops they say they support, and I could almost imagine God starting to doubt Himself.

hippofant

Whaddaya mean ATTEMPTED murder? That one cop died.

Redshirt

Aw, fuck. I stand corrected (the DFO Gremlins won’t let me edit).

Give them all the Chair or the Gas Chamber (for irony, since, according to them, it didn’t happen).

Viva La Tabula Raza

And also because they all support the death penalty.

Redshirt

I gotta root for Tampa City, if only to further destroy the myth of Bill Belichick as the Greatest Head Coach ever.

Gumbygirl

But Brady would win. It’s a dilemma.

Redshirt

I know. Also, as he’s from Michigan, its a tough choice for me. I didn’t make this decision lightly.

Horatio Cornblower

Oh I’m sure she’s given more than one of those.

SonOfSpam

This feels skeevy and unnatural, but GEAUX SAINTS.

Gross.

Redshirt

Hey, if I can root for the Steelers once in a while, you can root for the Saints.

Cowboy up!

Viva La Tabula Raza

In what circumstance would a Bengals fan root for the Steelers? Against Balmer?

Redshirt

Baltimore, yes.
New England, yes.
Cleveland, yes (Mayfield did plant an Oklahoma flag at midfield of Ohio Stadium).

SonOfSpam

BABY FIVEHEAD

You could show IMAX on that fucking thing.

litre_cola

Don’t you dare make fun of people with big foreheads!!!!

litre_cola

#teamfivehead

SonOfSpam

Don’t worry, I only make fun of babies. Most others could beat the shit out of me.

Viva La Tabula Raza

That you, Peyton?

Gumbygirl

That’s to hold his big ole football brain!

Doktor Zymm

I’m impressed that Mahomes still has the same haircut

SonOfSpam

That’s how he gets the Patrick Price.

SonOfSpam

Also, what a douchenozzle quote, “Play in the tall grass” what the fuck is that you goddamn knobjob.

Horatio Cornblower

I’ll bet a lot of money it’s some sex thing he and his friends lied about, and he snuck it in as an inside joke.

SonOfSpam

You’re probably right, and basically it’s HURR DURR I NAIL CHICKS WITH HUGES BUSHES HURR so it’s even worse.

Brocky

i know its not a pokemon joke but I’m laughing like it is

Viva La Tabula Raza

It’s like “Shittin’ in the high cotton”?

Viva La Tabula Raza

I guess he’s had that same haircut since he was toddler?

Don T

Saints in Green Bay would score, what: 17 points? Dome + Brees gots my brain stuck.

Spur

Am rooting for the Bucs. To make the Pats mad and only Brady will get BS calls in Greenbay. The Bucs Defense have the players to make Greenbay cry, they did once already.

Brocky

this is my hope too. its how i felt whenever the Patriots played the colts, a team i hated with a burning passion. his ability to win games can work both ways apparently

then of course there was the year he lost to the jets, who lost to the steelers, who lost to the packers,

grumble grumble

Horatio Cornblower

Yeah, I’m rooting Bucs, too. I’ve had enough of Brees and his Ponzi-scheme shilling, Anti-BLM back peddling ass, and Sean Payton just seems to leave a trail of slime behind him wherever he goes.
/spends two minutes reading about Brady.

Yep. Meteor it is!

litre_cola

I bet TB moneyline so I am with you too.

Doktor Zymm

Tyrann has really nice teeth!

Petronel

I would totally watch the Nickel-Old-Eon broadcast

WCS

That was a great game. so this one will be 49-3 Saints, and I’m going to enjoy every nanosecond.

Doktor Zymm

Yeah, I’m down with a Saints blowout

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