In the Pretend Year of Our LAWD 2081, I achieved the crowning achievement of my life (Pretend or otherwise). Ground is breaking on 140,000 seat Bernard Gilkey Park. That’s right, second new stadium of my long Pretend Man City tenure, and they’s naming it after ME.
Hey, at least now I can’t possibly die, thinking I have accomplished nothing.
My For Reals Toffees don’t play their FA Cup 4th round tie until 3p EST Sunday (home to Sheffield Wednesday). Good thing I was already planning to boycott the MRSA fixture.
Villa and the Barcodes (3p, Peacock) is your only Prem fixture. I despise both these fuckstain squadrons. Meanwhile, FA Cup action bounds, all on ESPN+ here in Diamond Joe’s USA.
Wake up with Saints/Gooners (7:15). One surmises that Handsome Mikel Artet dearly needs another stirring Cup run. This one’s away at St. Mary’s, so it’s a toughie.
10:00 is the crowded window, but I like Barnsley hosting Norwich as potentially the best clash. Swans/Forest and Millwall/Bristol City could also be interesting, or at least violent.
Take a nap after that, because I don’t see Cheltenham staying within low-single digits of Man City’s B side (12:30). But it will be all that’s on. You could watch AC Milan host Atalanta in Serie A, I guess. But with MRSA Dreamboat sucking up all the media fluffery, I really don’t want the juju of Atalanta anywhere near my mind.
#NuAIDS-ravaged Shitty Wolves are being forced to play U*NC as scheduled. Because we have to get our precious Blues into the 2021 tourney, you see. Fucking shithole conference. I won’t be watching that, neither.
Talk amongst yourselves, I got me a Pretend Club World Cup to win!
Greetings and salutations!
Right, lads, it’s 1AM here, so I think I’m gonna go crawl in bed and watch something on Netflix with wifey (I’m thinking “The Mirror Has Two Faces” ..or a history of swear words.. either is fine)
..Anyway, have a good one lads and lasses
Enjoy the evening/late night!
Steelers search for OC continues with former Browns HC Hue Jackson
I thought someone was just trolling utree on twatter, but if this happens, I’ll legit be worried about him popping an aneurysm
They’re also looking at the Chargers’ Pep Hamilton…
They can look at a literal dumpster fire and I think it’ll be a better choice than Hue
Meanwhile the Seahawks interviewed Adam Gase for their OC position.
you’re kidding, right?
That’s what I thought too, but .. nope, it’s a thing … Somehow…
In fact, my initial reaction were a series of audible
They’re bound and determined to waste Russell’s career.
Given that they tried to kill him from before the 1 yard pass derped around the world, .I don’t see why not. I wonder how Jamal Adams would react tho XD
https://sports.mynorthwest.com/1274173/why-does-seahawks-very-wide-net-of-oc-candidates-include-adam-gase-espns-jeremy-fowler-explains/
Normally, I’d laugh and point, but Hue Jackson was able to turn Andy Dalton into a Top 5 QB in 2015 when he was the Bengals’ OC. If Dalton didn’t suddenly decide to play LB on an Interception return and break his thumb, then who knows what would’ve happened.
This may work out.
Or Dalton had a statistical aberration of a season, because for a counterpoint – look at Cleveland’s play after HJ “started calling the offence”.
I’d link some lowlights here, but I’m pretty sure they’re considered snuff films in the EU XD
Actually its cause he had an good O-line and three great WRs. The Bengals were able to put Dalton in position to play to his strengths.
It was like giving an average looking person a $100,000 a year job, a penthouse apartment and sports car. At that point, you don’t really have to go looking for a hot person for a boyfriend/girlfriend, the hot person will find you.
What a shocking revelation – if you keep the QB alive and upright for more than 1 second and give him someone to throw to, he’d have a good season… Seriously, though, a lot of coaches made careers outta “one good season”, so when someone flames out as spectacularly as HJ did, I’m more inclined to believe that it was a fluke season than talent tbh…
It wasn’t all him. You put Vince Lombardi in his coaching prime on that sideline, and the best he’ll pull out of that team is 3-13, 5-11 if he kills a Practice Squad member just to make a point.
Tom Pelissero
@TomPelissero
Sources: The #Lions and Matthew Stafford have mutually agreed to part ways this offseason and the team will begin exploring trade options in the coming weeks for their star QB.
Soooo, Stafford to the Pats talk starts in….. 3…2….?
Stafford to the Texans; he’s got the intangibles McNair craves.
He’s a fat white guy?
He’s used to dealing with shit on a seasonal basis with nary a grumble?
He’ll fit right in
Clots is what I’m reading. No mention of Chi**** though. Wonder why?
Gravy and Stafford? Makes sense.
Why would the Bears replace Trubisky? He was drafted 2nd for a reason!
Yeah, there was a reason DaBears traded up one position in that draft! Not a particularly good or sane one, but there’s gotta be one… RIGHT?!
Oh, why? WHY?! WHY?! Why couldn’t Barry Sanders have done this in 1999 so he could’ve played for a good team. He would’ve probably had a Super Bowl ring and maybe 20,000 rushing yards.
So Hippo hates Aston Villa (probably for someone being a cunt or whatnot) but I always sorta liked them because when I first started watching socfoot, their jerseys were described as “claret” and that was cool to a dumbass Amurrican beer drinker. Go Villa I guess.
Prince William or one of em is a Villa fan, Birmingham is a trash gloomy city, Jack Grealish is a drunkdriving fuckface. Fuck Villa. /hard
Alls I know is that The Cure came from Birmingham. That probably explains a lot.
You sure about that? I thought they were from Crawley ?
Edit: Yeah, they’re from West Sussex – ELO, Black Sabbath, Duran Duran and the Spencer Davis Group (incl. Steve Winwood)
I read it somewhere. It might have been wrong. Maybe I read that Robert Smith liked Aston Villa?
Still nope, a cursory googling claims that he’s a QPR supporter. Also, wtf, I thought UB40 were … well, from outside the UK (despite the white singer), as in like Germany
I have no clue then. You are correct, though. They are from Crawley. I found out Duran Duran are from Birmingham, allegedly.
Or thereabouts at least, because I saw them mentioned in a couple of lists of celebrity supporters 😀
At any rate nothing can beat some of our most known supporters – Osama, Fidel, Jer Corbyn (dejected yay), Nick Clegg or The Queen (not the band, the lame one 😀 )
Also Harry, but … even we have standards so we don’t acknowledge ‘im
Edit: LOL, Qaddaffi was one of Hippo’s guys (though he may’ve actually been “democracy NOW’d”, because he was switching allegiances to the real Liverpool team … according to rubble analysis XD)
Cousinfuckers-Kansas State (I don’t remember if we have a nickname for the Wildcats) is now on.
LET’S DO THIS, JIZZ STAINS
Less fun Manhattan?
Unded Bill Snyders
Wolfies hanging with the Tar Fuckoo’s so far…
Sillycuse gets the win vs a top 20 opponent by going inside to their 2 most accomplished scorers. Whoda thunk it was possible?
Bernie Fine and Bernie Fine’s wife?
Also, this bloody comment on a IMDB review made me absolutely speechless:
Das Boot? Cross of Iron? Stalingrad ? The Doctor of Stalingrad (more obscure one that tactfully “neglects” that the guy it was modelled on killed noncombattants on the Eastern front for experiments). Hell, even “Untergang” can be considered as such, because it shows the vast amount of people loyally serving to the bitter end…(Now, all show that the war is hell and it brings out the best and worst in people, but … that’s beside the point of that dipshit’s take)
Oh,yeah – The Bridge (1960ish) – it’s literally a movie about the bravery and loyalty of a handful of school-age boys defending an unimportant bridge to the death …Btw, bloody good, but deeply unsettling film
Today’s my birthday! Fuck off.
Happy Birthday to you!?????
Fuck off! To the Great White North, it’s a really beauty way to go. But seriously, folks over 18 that feel the need to celebrate their birthday? Take off.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Jm4LoOaAWI&ab_channel=kr580
Congrats on your latest lap around Sol.
/Obligatorio
Hey! Happy birthday!
Eat shit you old bastard! (By that I mean “consume feces on this, the anniversary of your birth”)
Actually, since it appears to be a slow commentist day so far, here’s the aforementioned movie on the Bradley… ’tis bloody good
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ir0FAa8P2MU
Put on ESPN+. Cheltenham are holding on for dear life and City can’t even turn to DeBruyne.
So what division does Cheltenham play in?
League Two (4th tier)
Today I am preparing a pan seared rib eye with a red wine reduction thickened with a peppercorn, thyme compound butter. Served with a baked potato and spinach salad alongside a nice Napa Valley pinot noir.
Dinner is at 4.
Man, I gotta order us some more wine.
I’m having a lot of luck with the Vons preorder pick up thing. You order ahead through an app, they print up a pick list
Drive to the store, park, call, tell them the space number and they bring it to your car.
Ohhh that sounds good!
Sounds way better than the Vomelette + Spinach Mushrooms & Cream Sauce Fettuccine
+ mystery MRE (it’s so old, we can’t see the menu number on it or … date of production) I’m eating after a bet with dad and dad-in-law 😀
And yes, I have to eat every bite that isn’t obviously rancid/”gone off”
I’ll have the Lobster Thermidor au Crevettes with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam.
Missoula Falls to fade into obscurity with the passing of Larry King
Cheltenham are fooking UP FOR IT!
Stray thought, I wonder if the last advice Michael Hutchence received were the words ” Well, you do you”?
Either that, or “just let it all hang out?”
I thought it was “You shouldn’t be dating Curt’s widow, mate” (judging by the blood splatter)
“Disenchantment” is freekin’ awesome. Can’t wait to finish it to see it again.
Norwich knocked me out of my 6-team parlay. Balls.
Dont blame him, he dislikes English futbol.
It’s true!
Well, since there’s no football on TV, I guess I work on my room. Its been a bit neglected ever since baseball started.
(grabs pick-ax)
Columbus — Winnipeg trade seems fairly even to me? Which strikes me as a good job by Columbus considering the entire league knew they needed to move Dubois.
Let’s see how long it takes before “Torts” alienates Laine, too….
Dubois and a third for Laine and Roslovic, a guy I’ve never heard of but who apparently grew up aroudn Columbus. Hope Dubois’ reason for a trade wasnt the bullshit “i want a bigger market/stage”
I strongly suspect it was “my coach is an asshole.”
You know what they say about assholes: if you see one, you had a good day. If you see a bunch, your name might be Ballsofsteelandfury
Jets kingdom is freaking out.
1. Laine is better but didnt want to be there.
2. He will get 9 mill+ next year, jets wont pay it.
3. Roslovic is from Cbus so whatever
4. Dubois Dad is a coach with AHL Manitoba Moose.
5. Jets keep some of Laines salary this year which hurts.
6. Tortorella is a defense 1st cooch. Laine does not play D.
7. What the fuck do the Jets do with Stastny now?
That is all.
Laine contract expires this year, Dubois is signed for this year and next. Also Laine is hurt? But also PLD might have to quarantine for 14 days before playing in Canada, which is like 25% of the season.
I didn’t care much for Larry King, but I’ve got to give him credit for one thing: motherfucker openly admitted that he didn’t prepare for interviews, and actually convinced some people it was a thoughtful decision so that he would be at the same level of ignorance as many of his viewers.
Passing your laziness off as wisdom? That’s good (non) hustle!
I agreed with what I heard on CNN. He let the interviewee be the star of the show.
That was never my sense. But then, I rarely watched him; I wasn’t really the target audience I guess.
Larry King took my heart with his reading of Bible on tape, finishing with “I think San Antonio can win it all in the NBA”.
Found it!
https://youtube.com/watch?v=MwG90jsLUIk
I remember that! Unfortunately, it was a few years premature.
Is Hippo’s Bernard Gilkey immortal? If so how did he die a violent death the first time, and how does one take his head and with it his lesser footy managing power?
What’s the over/under on the number of COVID cases in the NFL between now and the Super Bowl? I mean cases that are actually announced, not the real number.
Since Goodell is Satan(NFL department), it’ll be 0 reported, because “we need a win, also… MONEY” … basically the reported amount will be about as reliable as a concussion protocol on a franchise’s generational talent of a QB
I’m inclined to believe that Mahomes “concussion” was a blood flow issue (i.e. like being choked out) rather than due to a blow to the head. But even if it had been a legit concussion there’s no way whatever David Chao clone is running the NFL’s concussion program would have forced him to sit tomorrow.
It could’ve also been whiplash or something that caused his balance to go out of sorts for a second. If something isn’t right, your body’s first instinct is to lie down.
Two things I came across while reading about Hank Aaron
-if all his homers were taken away he’d still have 3,000 hits (3,016)
-he had 130 plate appearances vs Sandy Koufax and he batted .362. Opponents BA vs Koufax was .202.
As far as I’m concerned, he’ll always be the Home Run King. Barry Bonds is just a Pretender to the Throne.
I think he’s in the conversation for third-greatest player of all time behind Ruth and Mays. It’s either him, Mantle, DiMaggio, or Williams, and I’d be inclined to take Aaron.
/Pitchers don’t count and this is obviously pending Trout’s rest of career
He was 6 foot and weighed 180, c’mon, man!
Broncos lost one of their own.
https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/30761849/tony-jones-two-super-bowl-champion-denver-broncos-dies-54
Btw, new puppies update – wifey and the kiddos love ’em so much, they tend to hide in the barn with me XD
Also naming update – I decided on Willy (after Willy Coppens) and Wal (for Wallonia) for the pups
Two puppies at the same time? That’s a lot of work. What kind?
Groenendael/Tervuren Belgian shepherd mix (and they raise the total to 6 dogs with the others quickly warming up to them)
The captain of bk’s volleyball team enjoying the backyard breeze
Purrty sure that’s a Malinois, also I don’t have a M2A3 Bradley (though I do have the movie about the design of the initial crime that was the Bradley programme)…
Wonder how things are going in colonial Africa? I am sure the venerable Cecil Rhodes will be by soon.
First rule of Colonial Club, we don’t leave a paper trail!
Second rule – don’t let the natives acquire firearms
Third rule – no Germaniums allowed, mmmmmmkay
“Third rule – no Germaniums allowed, mmmmmmkay”
WELL FINE! I DON’T WANT TO BE A PART OF THIS STUPID WEBSITE ANYWAY, YOU STUPID PIECE OF SH… oh, the flower. My bad.
Wrong!
I guess someone slept in chemistry, ’cause
Germanium is a chemical element with the symbol Ge and atomic number 32. It is a lustrous, hard-brittle, grayish-white metalloid in the carbon group, chemically similar to its group neighbors silicon and tin. Pure germanium is a semiconductor with an appearance similar to elemental silicon. Like silicon, germanium naturally reacts and forms complexes with oxygen in nature…
And so begins my 6-team FA Cup parlay, paired with a 2-player goal scoring parlay (Ogbonna & Fornals). So yeah, I still bet like a fucking dummy.
Shit. Ogbonna on bench. Diop in. Am dope.
Just drink, it helps! Trust me, I’m {in no way, shape or form} a doctor !
I just got fucked in Cyprus.
Let me guess, your boots were on the ground?
Need to step away from the gamblor machine.
As long as you didn’t enjoy it, it falls under assrape an’ thus not cheating (so yer good with mrs litre)
-Turks
You don’t say.
-Greeks
Comintern FC on Da Plus now.
I always love a Bernard Gilkey reference. The (‘92? ‘93?) outfield of Gilkey, Lankford, Jordan should have been one of the all time greats.
Watching them defend was one of the joys of that #BFIB era.
That free kick by Pepe was complete shit.
#ThatsMyGooners
You Reacting Reasonably yet?
Everytime SOTON scores in any competition a DFO angel loses its wings.
Not reacting at all, tbh – I’ve got better things to do than be upset that Arsenal have defaulted to their usual level of suckage, like rifling through WW2 pictures left from my granddad, because I’ve got the bloody suspicion that the SU-100 I recently saved from being cut up for scrap was on some of them (I’m still waiting for a buddy in Russia to find me the actual logs for this bugger) 🙂
My snack addiction got started years ago. I remember coming back from Sweden with a bag of these. My roomies and I in Scotland smoked a bunch of hash and opened these. I remember all of us thinking they were like onion rings. They were peanut butter. That was a mind fuck. Delicious once we realized though.
They were not this brand and there was no peanut butter markings.
Drugs are bad, mmmmkay?
Corollary – Scottish drugs are mui bad 😀 (I lost many friends’ guys night out thanks to marriages that began as Scottish or Northern Irish drug-induced hookups )
Update – found it – same dent in the gun mantlet, same dents in the driver’s hatch and dated 1(ineligible, I think it’s 5 or 6) May, ’45 and I’m purrrty sure I can spot part of the Brandenburger Tor
What channel has Gooners/Saints?
Not sure what ESPN+ is, but .. I’d assume it’s there.
Of course, there are other places you can haz foosball 😀
Indeed, on Da Plus.
Wha happen? re Aubamayang?
Something happened to Aubamayang?
commentators said “out with a personal issue”
For all we know, it could be a “contact tracing” issue? Or a loved one having a thing? Hell, who knows, maybe he’s becoming a Dad?
I’m speculating here, ’cause I’ve picked the stadium ambience audio channel instead of whichever mouthbreathers are currently tryin’ to comment on the game 😀
Sportsnet in Canadia.
Sports betting is now legal in Virginia, bay-bee!!
Ahem, there’s a slight mistake in the Arsenal blurb
Where it should be “Get rudely awoken by the cursing and anguished cries emanating from an undisclosed location north of Stockholm starting at 7:15… ”
Also, g’day y’all…