#NuAIDS Time-Delayed Madness – Round of 64 Thread the Thirdest (with tad of Lesser Footy)

Well, uh, yesterday sure was fun.  Can we DUE EVEN BETTER 2DAY??

Your Premier League morning starts at…4 fucking pm?  And consists solely of Trashbirds and Barcodes?  Yeah, I will stick to hardwood fun, thanks.  It’s on Peacock Premium, for some unfathomable reason.  Hammers/Gooners tomorrow (11:00, Peacock) could be tasty, though.

No, I have no stomach for discussing Everton’s FA Cup quarterfinal against fucking City, down our first AND second-string keepers.

12E Georgetown (+6.5) v. 5E Colorado (12:15, CBS)

Don’t look now, but Legendary Cokehead Patrick Ewing has tasted coachng success, sweeping the #NuBigEast tournament title to snag a dance ticket.  The Buffs losing a nailbiter Pac-Twaaalve championship tilt against Niiiiiiice Beaver?  Doesn’t look so bad now.  This will be less than aesthetically pleasing, all I can predict with any confidence.

13E UNC-Greensboro (+10.5) v. 4E Florida State (12:45, truTV)

My oldest kid wanted to go to UNC-G’s excellent School of Music, but they didn’t let her in.  As a result, she’s had to live in Greenville the last 4+ years.  Fuck those guys, and fuck no-necked Wes Miller.

14W Eastern Washington (+10.5) v. 3W Kansas (1:15, TBS)

Rock-chalk has had some #NuAIDS issues (methinks less than Wahoowa), but very unlikely to be enough to lose to the Iggles.  Would still make me very happy/amused, though.

9E St. Bonaventure (+1.5) v. 8E LSU (1:45, TNT)

It just means MOAR don’t really apply to hardwood exploits.  I always get the Bonnies confused with St. Joe’s.  Yes, I am running out of things to say.

16E Texas Southern (+25.5) v. 1E Michigan (3:00, CBS)

Hey, maybe we get a half of Meeeechigan looking like they’ll join tOSU on the B1G bus back home.  But probably not.

12W UC-Santa Barbara (+7.5) v. 5W Creighton (3:30, truTV)

Oh, this should be on everyone’s “upset alert” list.  Plus, the “gaucho hat” logo is badass as fuck.  Creigh-Creigh es muy overrated.

15E Iona (+16.5) v. 2E Alabama (4:00, TBS)

Yes, this is the “Minuteman Pitino” fixture.  Roll Damn Tide is supposed to have a really good coach, too.  I sense a really good one here.

11W Drake (+6) v. 6W Southern Cal (4:30, TNT)

Will the Love the Drake! movement continue apace?  They didn’t look super great in the play-in round, but I have found that to have very little predictive value over the years.

5 4 votes
Article Rating
King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
Subscribe
Notify of
94 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

…and Coronavirus has notched its first victory of the tournament!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Announcers in the Creighton game are acting like it’s the first half.

scotchnaut

Iona will lose by 2. Book it.

scotchnaut

If Pitino doesn’t use Grecian Formula For Men, I’m your mother.

LemonJello

Is that the quickest hair dye for men? That would make sense.

SonOfSpam

Satisfaction guaranteed in six seconds or less.

Horatio Cornblower

Whatever, Maestro.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

grumble grumble go grouchos grumble grumble

scotchnaut

BALLS OF LLAMA/IONA HAS COMMENCED

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Say what you want about Allstate, they picked a corker of a song for their commercial.

rockingdog
scotchnaut

Little squirts learning the words to WAP seems weirdly apropos.

Last edited 3 years ago by scotchnaut
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Meanwhile Sam Alito will defend to the death your right to refer to him as a “wop” provided you are bearing a firearm while you do so.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“YES! YOU HEARD ME. ONE CRATE-TON!” – Andy Reid, ordering shrimp via a bad cellphone connection

scotchnaut

So far, talk about Crayton being overrated/over-seeded has been spot on.

scotchnaut

For every case of Coors Seltzer purchased, 500 gallons of river water are restored. I’m not willing to make that sacrifice. Sorry.

SonOfSpam

I actually liked (ok, didn’t hate) Corona seltzer. I have not tried any of the other beer seltzers.

scotchnaut

I’m just not interested in the ‘genre’ in the same way I’m not interested in, say, ‘chocolate stouts’. Just not my style.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Is there some reason why you couldn’t just buy regular seltzer and add vodka and/or Everclear?

/Kerry Collins insisted I use the “and/or”.

SonOfSpam

That Art Alexakis guy annoys me.

ballsofsteelandfury

Corona is actually the best of the genre.

Game Time Decision

If you need to bribe or guilt me into buying your product, then it probably sucks

SonOfSpam

Those wacky bunch o lumberjacks from E Washington were fun. Godspeed, you rural weirdos.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

At least now they can go back to protecting their communities from ANTIFA.

rockingdog

Are the USC TroyBoyz gonna win later?

Will the game be ROCKING??

Last edited 3 years ago by rockingdog
scotchnaut

“Michigan center’s nickname is Big Country-why would you curse a guy like that?”

-Bryant Reeves

scotchnaut

Beardo has to hit that three.

scotchnaut

[wipes sweat from brow]

I have FSU going to the Elite 8.

Horatio Cornblower

Same

scotchnaut

“Eastern Washington is leading Kansas by 2 with 10 minutes left. Not a fan of their ‘uppity’ play.”

-Tucker Carlson, sports reporter

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“…and what’s wrong with being ruled by a monarch, anyways? Liberals claim that it’s unAmerican, but the people who founded this country would never have had the opportunity to do so if not for the generous and benevolent rule of…”

litre_cola

Raging hangover with a 3 yr old while the tv and interwebs is down.

Would not reccommend.

Horatio Cornblower

Been there, man.

Two in the thoughts, one in the prayers, or so I read recently in some bracket somewhere.

scotchnaut

Kansas being a basketball ‘power’ has always confused me in the same way that Nebraska having a monster football program always did. She don’t make no sense.

scotchnaut

Immediately pulling for Beardo McLumberjack on Eastern Washington. If he’s Canadian I might ooze something from my privates.

Last edited 3 years ago by scotchnaut
scotchnaut

I hate Kansas simply because Roy Williams was once the coach there. Did you hear me laughing from up here when he caught the L last night?

Horatio Cornblower

I remember reading that he insisted that his recruits attend church services every week for their first year on campus, and thinking he was an asshat then.

Turns out he was a lot less insistent on his recruits attending classes during any of their years on campus. Sanctimonius prick.

scotchnaut

The fucker said he was worse off than the citizens of Haiti after that devastating earthquake back in 2010. Defies belief…

herodotus450

I might ooze something from my privates.

You know what they say about that:
If it’s green, you’re clean;
If it’s red, you’re about to be dead

scotchnaut

Hey fellow Couchfuckers, what are we watching and why?

/hehe, Georgetown blows

Horatio Cornblower

St. Bonnie’s v. LSU for the moment, although I’ll switch over to the annual Bill Self-Shitting at the half.

scotchnaut

I see Pat Ewing ‘rose to the moment’ the same way he always did as a Knick.

Horatio Cornblower

I picked Georgetown to get to the Round of 32, thinking they’d get a bounce from winning the Big East tourney, but I was very, very wrong.

Horatio Cornblower

I see Kansas is overachieving as usual at tournament time.

Horatio Cornblower

I picked UConn to beat Maryland, (then get smoked by ‘Bama, who I have in the Final Four), and UConn is favored by 3, so give that combination I would suggest mortgaging your house and betting it all on the Terps.

scotchnaut

“House?”

-Jim Tomsula

yeah right

USC always fields a fine squadron.

Horatio Cornblower

I had something like an 87% success rate in my picks last night, which I can assure you is an absolutely terrible sign for the teams I picked today.

herodotus450

Just some of the names on OSU that got knocked out yesterday:
Justice Suing,
Zed Key,
His Highness Francisco Pizarro the XIIth, Protector of the Throne of Isabel and Warden of the West Indies,
Seth Towns,
Thanks a fucking lot, Oral Roberts!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The lamestream media has erased any mention of His Highness Francisco Pizarro the XIIth, Protector of the Throne of Isabel and Warden of the West Indies from the internet. Wake up, sheeple!

blaxabbath

Ohio State fans are threatening to kill their players after losing to Oral Roberts. Which probably sounds pretty good after a season of being raped by team physicians.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

And the guy they threatened had 23 points and 14 rebounds! Ohio State fans are as dumb as they are dangerous.

Horatio Cornblower

Excuse me, it’s THE Ohio State fans are as dumb as they are dangerous.

Horatio Cornblower

I root for any Big East team in the tournament, until they play UConn, even if it make me feel like taking a bath with my toaster.

That said, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t quietly snickering right now.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

comment image

scotchnaut

Must go for small hike before doing my take on a houseplant for the rest of the day. Later.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“You son of a bitch…”
comment image

Game Time Decision

Seth Rogan houseplant or like an actual plant?

Senor Weaselo

Ooh, what does eldest Hippo play? (Also she didn’t apply to Winston-Salem?)

Senor Weaselo

Good for her! I can’t help on the vocal skills, but if she has theory/solfege questions send ‘em my way!

Horatio Cornblower

Me (In Music Theory Class): I think it should have a good beat, and that you should be able to dance to it.

Professor: Get out.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah, but that’s because you went to college in Bomont, [unspecified conservative state]

/don’t feel bad if you have to look that up; I did.

Horatio Cornblower

Without looking it up I am going to guess ‘Footloose’

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I really should have put more thought into my bracket this year and picked a team I truly hated to win it all, thus giving me some solace when my bracket got blown up. Unfortunately, with no Duke that’s a much harder decision, and I’m realizing that I should have jinxed Baylor, not OSU.

Horatio Cornblower

ESPN is doing a piece calling out the NCAA for fucking over the women’s tournament, (admittedly ESPN is only doing this because CBS carries the tournament instead of them), and it was nice to hear Jay Bilas calling out Mark Emmert, former and not missed president of UConn, for the slimy little shit-weasel he is.

Game Time Decision

DFO bracket here

https://fantasy.espn.com/tournament-challenge-bracket-women/2021/en/group?groupID=58723

Password is DFO

And the difference in how they are treated is fucking brutal

Horatio Cornblower

I filled one out already. I think I took Baylor to beat UConn, hoping for a double-reverse jinx.

scotchnaut

Didn’t realize the extent of his weirdness-even before Trumpism had taken hold.

scotchnaut

Speaking of keeper issues, the Senators have lost all three of their shitty (league worst 3.91 GAA) goalies to injury and don’t have anyone else in the system that has played an NHL game. They did pick up a guy that has bounced around between 6 teams though, so there’s that.

Dunstan

Sadly, due to COVID there are no Emergency Backup Goaltenders this season.

Maple Leafs fans can breath a sigh of relief.

scotchnaut
Horatio Cornblower

No surprise that a communist would root for Syracuse.

/Oh god, they’re going to win it all, aren’t they?

scotchnaut

I have this image of a cranky, 50-ish white guy pulling all his hair out as angry tears wash down his cheeks. Weird.

Last edited 3 years ago by scotchnaut
Horatio Cornblower

HAHAHA.

Like I have hair to pull out.

ArmedandHammered

I actually wake up at 7 am on a Saturday for once and there is no footy to watch? I guess my life is actually cursed. Stupid old gypsy lady wearing black and walking down the road in the middle of the night. I should be cursing her.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You can watch Australian footy highlights! Be sure to check out the Essendon game for a down under version of your favorite DFO sitcom!