Saturday Night’s Alright…FOAR #NuAIDS Time-Delayed Raging Semis!

And then there wuz FOUR. Rage on, y’all!

2MW Houston (+5) v. 1S Baylor (5:14, CBS)

All Texas early on, but not with the squadrons one is used to seeing. It’s been easy to overlook, overshadowed by Gonzaga’s dominance, but the JV 500s and Bay-Bay have looked mighty strong, too. Expect this one to go down to maybe the last possession. I certainly expect/hope for some dramatics.

11E UCLA (+14) v. 1W Gonzaga (8:34, CBS)

CBS did us all a solid, putting this one on late. If it’s an ass-beating, we can just pass out, without any worry that we will snooze through the other fixture. But like I said last round – Mick Cronin’s bunch are REALLY good at forcing their tempo on you. They did it to Michigan, and were able to pip them late. Zags haven’t been in a legitimately close game since…maybe December 2019? I ain’t looking it up.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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herodotus450

Do you think scientists will ever figure out why time slows down when a basketball player has the ball inside the key? It’s IMPOSSIBLE for 3 seconds to elapse.

Doktor Zymm

Gotta switch to the Elam ending

litre_cola

Jason Elam is a God- K. Hippo

Mr. Ayo

Shame Hippo is in a pill coma and missing the best game of the tourney.

Mr. Ayo

On the positive side, I’m sure tomorrow’s footy games will *totally* make up for it.

SonOfSpam

Asked for Bruins to outscore the Zags in the 2nd half, and they did by 1, so thanks?

5 LONG-ass minutes coming up.

Redshirt

Maybe UCLA doesn’t want to win after all.

Gumbygirl

Aaaaaargh overtime.

Doktor Zymm

Diablo’s Shadow Navy Strength rum, Grapefruit liqueur, Bolivar bitters, soda water. It’s good, but packs a punch. Wish I had some actual grapefruit to garnish

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Dehydrated grapefruit wheel garnish for the full effect?

Doktor Zymm

I just remembered I have grapefruit sour candies! That’s going to be the closest I get I think

Mr. Ayo

TIMME!!!

Also, where’s Gobbles?
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Doktor Zymm

Another beer, or cocktail time? I think cocktail time, I have a local navy strength rum to try

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Navy Strength Rum is dangerous. But yes.

Mr. Ayo

It’s always cocktail time.

Sharkbait

Yes.

Redshirt

The Harley Quinn cartoon is having a Season 3 in Late 2021?!

(looks Heavenward with arms open wide in worship)
God, I’m sorry, I love my country.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I was really impressed by that show.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

We need something to watch and John Wick was last night. John Wick Chapter 2 was rejected, as was the new Bill and Ted. So what else is there?

Last edited 3 years ago by BrettFavresColonoscopy
Mr. Ayo

youporn, pornhub, xhamster, etc.

Game Time Decision

I watched the new Bill and Ted’s today. Don’t waste your time on it

BrettFavresColonoscopy

YOU’RE NOT MY SUPERVISOR

Redshirt

I’m waiting for it for it to be shown on TV for free.

Game Time Decision

Still not worth it

SonOfSpam

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Redshirt

I saw the Sonic the Hedgehog movie last night. It wasn’t that bad really.

Sharkbait

Movie or TV show? Ted Lasso was good for TV. Movies? No idea what is out there that would be good

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ted Lasso was a masterpiece

SonOfSpam

Tyger Tyger burning bright
Dragged his pivot, it’s alright

Brocky

i like how ramese’s son sounds like he just walked off the set of little rascals

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Sup

Brocky

for once in our lives, the most of us are rooting for a team called the bruins

Mr. Ayo

God bless Canada.

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Dunstan

There haven’t been that many people laid in Dallas like that since Debbie.

Brocky

….so apparently abc showing the ten commandments is an easter tradition.

and moses met jesus when?

SonOfSpam

Easter is about when Moses parted the Red Sea and found the drowned body of Jesus. Have you not read Ecclesiastes?

Doktor Zymm

I thought it was when Jesus Shuttleworth challenged Moses Malone to a dunking competition on the mean streets of Brooklyn circa 1985 BC

SonOfSpam

A little closer to Bill Simmons than we’re all comfortable with

Redshirt

Of course, he was found in an egg and that’s why we have Easter Egg hunts.

(That comment may not send me to Hell but it will be, yet another, awkward moment in my Final Judgment when the book of my life is read. “This isn’t counted against you; we’re just saying out loud to show everything, you included, that this happened.”)

Brocky

lets just say its been a while.

also, jesus drowned, uh, like, uh….

shit i thought he rose from the dead then ascended to heaven

Redshirt

I think they do it for Passover. Also, it would get both the Jewish and Christian viewerships.

Plus, the story of Jesus’ death and resurrection has been hard to show as a movie. The Passion of the Christ shows in vivid detail the torture and death of Jesus Christ, but nothing about what happens after he is resurrected. It would be showing a football game, but you can only watch the quarterback and not what happens when he hands off/throw the football.

Redshirt

Flagrant Foul 1 Example #35: ARMBAR!

Redshirt

Hey, Daddy Day Care is on. I worked one year as a Day Care Teacher and I can confirm this movie is a chilling accurate documentary. Too bad they didn’t do a sequel, like the Matrix stopping at one, Police Academy stopping at two, Terminator stopping at two, Rocky stopping at 4, Rambo stopping at 4, Disney stopping at one multiple-ass times…

Brocky

I saw that film as a teenager as part of the drive ins double feature with Bruce almighty.

was a far better film than i thought it would be

Dunstan

A friend stopped by with his kids to get “parent buzzed” this afternoon. I could either stop drinking now or… well, I think we all know where this is headed.

SonOfSpam

Well, I asked for competitive. So now I’m gonna ask for the Bruins to win the 2nd half.

SonOfSpam

Oh, and a pony.

Doktor Zymm

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SonOfSpam

Thanks!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[monkey’s paw curls]
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Mr. Ayo

Well, I asked for Brie Larson. So now I’m gonna ask for the Bruins to win the 2nd half.

Brocky

If i had a genie give me 3 wishs I would legitimately use one of them to watch a fight between Larson and this fat neckbeard who hated captain marvel.

it would be like when cartman fought wendy, but somehow even more one sided

Redshirt

I can see someone not liking it (Captain Marvel is overpowered like Superman, so that eliminates the risk of them losing), but hating it?

I’m going out on a limb here, but the guy shouldn’t take it out on Brie Larson that he’s been rejected from everyone up to and including his dominant hand.

superman_dark_knight.png (350×260) (tvtropes.org)

Brocky

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Mr. Ayo

Thanks!

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

In honor of Trans Day of Visibility, I did the Buffalo Bill dance and tuck for the company talent show. Apparently they would fuck me, in the form of getting suspended.

Redshirt

That’s odd. I didn’t even do a dance and my old job fucked me over after 12+ years of service.

I do have some leads so I might be able to get a better job with a small raise.

Too bad they couldn’t have waited until Kings Island opened up. I gotta a season pass with a meal plan. I could’ve lived there, camped out in my car, and floated around on a innertube on lazy river in place of bathing.

Brocky

pics or it didn’t happen

Gumbygirl

I just checked on the game, and now UCLA needs a timeout. I will go away for awhile, because I’m kind of jinxish.

Brocky

evening.

Dunstan

It’s still daylight here, damnit!

Mr. Ayo

Thanks, Lyndon Johnson

Brocky

the hell is that profile picture?

I changed it when I couldn’t take that fucker’s politics anymore

Redshirt

At least you have a profile picture. Mine was snapped away to preserve the delicate balance to keep the website running.

Last edited 3 years ago by Redshirt
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

UCLA was criminally underseeded in this tournament.

Doktor Zymm

There’s no consequence for underseeding though, except maybe if it throws off the betting

Redshirt

It is detrimental towards the other teams. Imagine being a #3 seed going into the Sweet 16 facing a double-digit seed. You may be caught looking ahead.

Redshirt

They are doing textbook Mick Cronin-style ball: Defense and ball control.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Those also made AC Green standout on the showtime Lakers.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Criminally underseeded was Andrei Chikatilo’s raison d’etre.

Doktor Zymm

I had a really entertaining internet argument the other day. Some gal was insisting that Africa is not connected to any other continent by land

Mr. Ayo

Doesn’t the suez canal make that technically correct? Or am I as stupid I as presume?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’s the argument I’d have made if I had backed myself into the corner the way that gal did.

herodotus450

What’s the ocean except for land with some temporary water on top of it?

Mr. Ayo

Amen, we’re all connected by land through the earth’s core.

Last edited 3 years ago by Mr. Ayo
Doktor Zymm

Technically yes (although there are tunnels, which could also technically invalidate that), but that wasn’t what she was claiming. She was totally fine with N. and S. America being connected. She went so far as to post a standard political map and told me to zoom in and I would see they aren’t connected!

Mr. Ayo

Yeah, I wouldn’t count tunnels or bridges as counting. So canals wouldn’t either.

Redshirt

That may be first refusal to acknowledge the existence of Israel that is free of anti-Semitism.

Brocky

unrelated, the ten commandments is on ABC

Gumbygirl

Is that the one with Yvonne DeCarlo? I get my biblical movies mixed up.

Brocky

yep.

i have the same problem, ben hur and this movie just run together. share the same universe

Redshirt

(Hippo puts 1500 LE on Ramesses)

Brocky

I made a similar joke, i come in and ask pops if the game is on, he says yeah, i see its the movie, and i ask who’s winning, without missing a beat, he says rameses

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Huh. I hadn’t thought about MTV in so long I just assumed all their content had entered into the public domain.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Is there any argument that UCLA collectively has the best hair in the tournament?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Where’s Kevin McHale?”

At a Trump rally, wrecking my memory of him as my favorite player.

SonOfSpam

Really? That’s disappointing, but it at least justifies my 80s hatred of him.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah, it means I can look back on some of his biggest fuckups and take some joy in them.

Gumbygirl

So he’s as dead on the inside as he looks on the outside?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

His nickname should have been The Undertaker.

Mr. Ayo

Tyger is a mini Sideshow Bob

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Sideshow Tyger.

SonOfSpam

Let’s stay competitive Bruins!

(Being realistic)

Fronkenshteen

So are we all choosing spiffy new avatars?

Fronkenshteen

Dodgers turned into Burnley so fast, I didn’t even notice. Jackie Robinson would be so proud.

Fronkenshteen

Toilet brush with a stand up double.

Fronkenshteen

Took LAD -1.5 after4. Sonny Gray looks unhittable tho. Also, if yer styling with a big bushy beard, and you ain’t Qanon? You deserve the shit sandwich you’re forced to consume every day.

Horatio Cornblower

“We’re getting closer to the tip” says Greg Gumbel, reminding everyone how he got that job in the first place.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

New show from CBS: “Immigrants are funny!”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

If I ever saw a sign with an arrow that read “free wood” I would stand next to it so it pointed at my crotch.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I like how some people are declaring that it’s now un-American to support baseball.

Gumbygirl

I got on Mike Huckabeast’s Twitter and flamed his dumb ass. Idiot.

SonOfSpam

I did the same to Ronna “DON’T CALL ME ROMNEY” McShithead.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Her relatives should disinvite her from every family event for the rest of her life.

SonOfSpam

Yes, because she’ll eat everything.

Gumbygirl

I told her that her father was a better person than her, and that he’s pure garbage.

Doktor Zymm

Spending too much money to waste time watching something that employs a bunch of immigrants and is ultimately kinda boring while complaining about how much better it was back in the day? Sounds pretty American to me!

litre_cola

Very daydrunk at the inlaws.

Mr. Ayo

Yeah, definitely the inlays’ fault.

Horatio Cornblower

Look, some people don’t handle tile work very well.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“You’re telling me!” – Tim Tebow, frustrated that his opponents keep rejecting his attempts at spelling words in Scrabble

Mr. Ayo

I meant Irsay.

SonOfSpam

The place with all the peaty Scotch?

Fronkenshteen

This place officially ded? Nothing, and I mean NOTHING makes sense trying to log in here anymore. If the place needs $, you can have my bank details, like, today. But it hurts to watch this joint shrivel up like a worm on the sidewalk. Uproxx can go get fucked.

litre_cola

Legit the data transfer should be done by the end of the weekend. The site is bigger than expected. Howevah slowly we are getting back to normal, I ain’t have to refresh after kommenting.

Mr. Ayo

Thank god. I’ve held back so many banner quotes because I didn’t want to refresh.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I was genuinely touched by how many people contributed to Request Line given the issues we’ve been having.

Gumbygirl

That was a great Request Line!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Thanks!

Doktor Zymm

It’s being worked on, just hold tight for a couple more days and will hopefully be worked out

Warthog

If I remember correctly from that other site, it’s not over until the fat lady posts scheisse porn

Doktor Zymm

Ume plum potato chips? Yum!

Mr. Ayo

Is it wrong to have the hots for Hannah Montana?

herodotus450

Based on her music? Yes. Based on her loooks? …maybe.

Mr. Ayo

*slides a stack of lps and cds under clubhouse couch*

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

From what I’ve seen of her on The Voice, Miley seems like she’d be a gawky, goofy, fun lover. There’s not too many women I’d turn my nose up at, and she’s certainly not one of them.

Last edited 3 years ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Game Time Decision

Currently listening to her

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s been pretty nice not hearing about our former president here in the U.S. as we’ve been pretty focused on cleaning up the mess he left behind, but it was fun to take a break from ignoring him today to read about how he fleeced people who donated to his campaign by automatically opting them in as recurring donors. We told them his campaign would steal from them, and it did.

herodotus450

Oldest trick in the book, just put a little checkbox on your payment page:
“Check this box if you don’t want to not ever be considered for not declining heretofore any and not all negative payments from us to you”

Redshirt

3rd Reds Hit By Pitch – 2nd HBP after the Benches were Warned.

Even the referees who did the 2016 Bengals-Steelers Wild Card Game is wondering what the hell is going on.

Steeler_Ref.jpg (1600×900) (vox-cdn.com)

Redshirt
Viva La Tabula Raza

Ted Cruz’s attempt to insert himself somehow into the Bay-Coog matchup did not go all that well.
https://www.rawstory.com/ted-cruz-texas-2651353724/

herodotus450

“Freedom also means the freedom to obstruct 4 (or was it 6?) years of legislative progress in your country because the president is black a guy you don’t like.”

Redshirt

But he cries a lot. Doesn’t that mean he’s a nice guy?

Just kidding, I don’t like this guy.

herodotus450

Also, lot of people seem to come out with their hate of Ted Cruz AFTER they quit their positions of power where they could have actually effected Cruz in some way.

Redshirt

I was hating Ted Cruz before it was cool!

In 2016, I would’ve voted for Trump over Cruz if I had to (assuming Seppuku wasn’t an option). Today, with everything I know that happened, I still would vote for Trump over Cruz.

litre_cola

Isn’t he from my neck of the woods? Lunatic conservative area in Alberta so it would make sense.

Redshirt

While I would find him to be a Born Canadian after all the BS he’s pulled for immigration and Conservatism orgasmically hilarious, I wouldn’t want to impugn my Canadian Brothers and Sisters or take credit away from the Devil’s Ass Hairs that dingleberry feel from.

litre_cola

Redshirt I live in a backwards ass province where Cruz is from. I would not wish our current premier right now on my worst enemy. He is trying to be Trump with less personality. It is a fucking joke.

Dunstan

Boehner is not a good guy. But I would gladly put down a bottle or two of wine with him to hear nasty stories about Ted Cruz.

Redshirt

MLB: “We want our players to show emotion on the field.”
Reds RF Castellanos: Hit by Pitch but doesn’t rush pitcher
Reds RF Castellanos: Scores on Wild Pitch and Flexes in Pitcher’s Face at Home
Cardinals C Molina: Pushes Castellanos in the back as he’s going toward dugout
(5 minute fight ensures in infield and outfield)

Player(s) Ejected: Reds RF Castellanos (Showing Emotion on the Field)

Gotta love BLEERGH bias against Cincinnati teams.

Bally Sports Cincinnati on Twitter: “The Reds’ and Cardinals’ dugouts have emptied after Nick Castellanos scores on a wild pitch. https://t.co/M8sSctUjbo” / Twitter

Last edited 3 years ago by Redshirt
Horatio Cornblower

Absolutely nobody in sports tougher than Molina as long as 4-5 guys are “holding him back” from getting at the guy he started shit with.

Mr. Ayo

I don’t think there’s any dramatics forthcoming in this matchup, Hippo.

May as well start the heavy pill applications now and be up early for the footy.

litre_cola

It’s been wine o’clock for hours. Not to mention edibles since I woke up. (am at inlaws)

Mr. Ayo

It’s been Vodka O’Clock since I woke up. Catch up.

litre_cola

Just you and I in here Hippo, have any aktion tonight? You know I am all in for a SecsiMexi 3 way( heh) parlay!

litre_cola

Have you found Jesus? He may be behind the couch with the demons.

litre_cola

You know, I do find the Spike Lee, Barkley, Nantz, fucking Samuel fucking Jackson commercials quite humoUrous

litre_cola

Is Bey Bey Jesuit? If the Zags win as well to quote Hippo will we get hawt Jezzie on Jezzie aktion?

litre_cola

So collegiate rapeyness is ok with the Baptists? Got it.