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A Tempestuous Tuesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

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NFL Noise:

Well, in the absence of actual news – beyond Amazon starting their Prime-only Thursday package in 2022 – it’s all about the Packers and how they’ve made a mess of things:

  • Mike Florio farts – should the Packers & Seahawks trade disgruntled quarterbacks?
  • Terry Bradshaw posits that, “him being that upset shows me how weak he is.”
  • Andrew Brandt of SI notes that Rodgers has become the very thing he hates most – Brett Favre.
  • Michael Rosenberg says the Packers should have done more to coddle their star.
  • Trey Wingo tweeted that there was an agreement between the team & Rodgers to trade him before the draft, but the Packers backed out.
  • The Sporting News would like you to know that releasing Jake Kumerow showed Rodgers the Packers weren’t going to value his personnel input.
  • The NY Post reported that Rodgers said to Mike Tirico at the Derby that he’s upset the spat with the team became public.
  • In a true meeting of the minds, Ian Rapoport went on Rich Eisen’s show to both talk about Aaron Rodgers.

And to round it all out, ESPN breaks down seven possible trade destinations, which ends with the Broncos and an actual attractive offer. It also vaguely points out that John Elway can’t draft quarterbacks, which is a nice little twist of the knife.

Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Pittsburgh vs Philadelphia – 7:00pm | NBCSN / Sportsnet
    • Edmonton vs Vancouver – 10:00pm | Sportsnet (regional)
  • NBA:
    • Brooklyn vs Milwaukee – 7:30pm | TNT / TSN5
    • Toronto vs LA Clippers – 10:00pm | TNT / TSN4
  • MLB:
    • Houston at NY Yankees – 7:00pm | ESPN / TSN2
    • Toronto at Oakland – 9:30pm | Sportsnet1
  • CFL:
    • Draft – 7:00pm | TSN / tsn.ca / cfl.ca

Well, Manic Monday was a mild hit, so with that in mind – it’s May the Fourth. Let’s dance!

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Brocky

here’s some star wars for ya

comment image

fun fact: i only know who this character is (Darth Talon) from the excess of oversexualized cosplay

4
ballsofsteelandfury

There is no such thing as oversexualized cosplay.

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Brocky

you are correct. once it becomes too oversexualized it becomes porn

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Aaron Rodgers is somehow still a top 7 QB in the NFL. So yeah maybe coddle him a little.

2
Don T

I don’t see GB brass doing anything to change Rodgers, except field wild offers. A A Ron now gets a shot to dislodge the Holdout Excalibur, after Deshawn Watson proved unworthy.

1
SonOfSpam

That’s always exciting, as you get to see just how rapey your QB is.

1
blaxabbath

Yeesh — I don’t even want to think about propositioning a handy from a northern Wisco “masseuse”

2
blaxabbath

Aaron Rodgers won one super bowl championship and that was ten years ago. He’s now a decade older and, reportedly, a heterosexual.

What team is going to coddle an aging star who is only focused on getting some strange?

2
Mr. Ayo

I would assume any team who didn’t have an MVP QB last year?

He’s got another 3-4 years left. If you can surround him with a good team and a non-dipshit coach he can get you a Superb Owl.

1
blaxabbath

Uh huh.

I watched the Kurt Warner’s Last Win wildcard game where Rodgers gave up the fumble-six to give it away in OT.

2
blaxabbath

It’s pretty anticlimactic — but that’s probably how Olivia described him too…

https://youtu.be/srFXDqRNluk

2
Mr. Ayo

You really going to base a player’s career on one play? That would be like judging Romo because he fumbled on one extra point try.

Wait, never mind. You’re correct.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPuhwAIzrYk

4
Viva La Tabula Raza

Is Mark Sanchez remembered for anything but buttfumble?

1
SonOfSpam

Plowing junior varsity cheerleaders?

1
Mr. Ayo

Ryan’s tattoo. 2 conference finals. But, buttfumble is first.

1
Don T

Crashing junior proms

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blaxabbath

“Bullshit! I invented that!”

– Matt Gaetz

2
Beerguyrob

The UCLA sexually transmitted disease free clinic.

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BeefReeferLives

I remember the disco version of Star Wars as a kid (me and my brothers record had the Orchestral version on side A and the disco version on side B). However, I don’t remember that particular illustration on the record…
I would’ve assuredly remembered that.

2
Viva La Tabula Raza

I checked the wiki and that record cover is the LP.

1
BeefReeferLives

Weird. I remember the record itself looking like the images (“Millennium” with the sunset) but not that cover. I think it just had a black & white “Star Wars” on the cover.
I’m pretty sure my perverted young mind would’ve remember seeing Mr. Spaceman & Ms. Spacewoman grinding it.

Last edited 4 years ago by BeefReeferLives
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SonOfSpam

Yep, I remember having that record with that cover as a kid. I sincerely hope I was not the one to buy it.

1
BeefReeferLives

Whadda shot by Sid!

3
SonOfSpam

-Johnny Rotten, watching his bass player overdose

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

PITCHER GRAND SLAM!

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Brick Meathook

who? where? what? when? why?

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Amy Trask is a good sport. I think. She’s being a good sport here, right?

https://mobile.twitter.com/AmyTrask/status/1389714824276299777

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TheRevanchist

I have not seen any order from her lawyers, yet, so the answer must be ‘maybe’. That’s the best you can hope for!

1
TheRevanchist

So many good Star Wars deals today. I got KOTOR 2 for the iPhone (I already had the original on my phone). The Jedi Knight series of games can be had for $5. That’s such a good deal! Thinking of buying it for the kids.

2
Brick Meathook

I got a hand job from Harrison Ford.

2
TheRevanchist

Great, kid. Don’t get cocky.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

I picked up the first three movies for 99 cents each at a yard sale. In VHS!

2
BeefReeferLives

Like the pre-digital fuckery – Han Solo shoots first – ones?
Aren’t those, like, geek gold?

1
Viva La Tabula Raza

Yeah I think you are right. But I just made that shit up.

1
SonOfSpam

He’ll do anything to keep you quiet about the plane crash on your driveway.

1
Dunstan

I hear Tosche Station has a good deal on power converters today.

4
TheRevanchist

Yeah, but I have chores to do. Fucking chores!

1
Mr. Ayo

If you find fucking to be a chore you may be doing something wrong.

Last edited 4 years ago by Mr. Ayo
1
Viva La Tabula Raza

Just make sure you don’t fuck the princess. Trust me on this one.

1
BeefReeferLives

\Paul Simon has entered the chat

3
Don T

Someone, someone wrong.

2
Mr. Ayo

We don’t kink shame around here.

2
Brick Meathook

Douglas Fairbanks lectures a crowd in NYC in 1918. “Stop wearing hats!” he’s shouting.

Besides Fairbanks, I can count only 9 men without hats in the crowd. These men all died in the Spanish Flu pandemic because they weren’t protected by hats.

comment image

Last edited 4 years ago by Brick Meathook
3
scotchnaut

Canadian toque wearers were virtually immune to the Spanish Flu. Quebec scientists are still poring over the data to this day.

2
LemonJello

Seems like a lot of propaganda put out by Big Millinery to drive sales of head coverings.

2
Viva La Tabula Raza

It worked well, too, until JFK was elected president.

1
Don T

🤣

1
BeefReeferLives

A good toque just tells them Flu hosers to take off, eh.

2
Viva La Tabula Raza

These guys bought into the whole “no hats” thing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AjPau5QYtYs

6
scotchnaut

All these frickin’ movies about dogs helping to win wars, or finding their way back to their ‘master’ or helping the blind, they just reinforce my opinion that cats suck balls.

2
TheRevanchist

My dog is does not fall into any of those categories, unless you put her in the same category as the cats. She’s a moron (cute, loveable, but a moron).

1
Horatio Cornblower

My dog would sell Alaska back to the Russians for a handful of sausage.

7
scotchnaut

My dog (he goes by the name of ‘Talleyrand’) recently undermined an agreement between German Shepherds and French Poodles regarding the Purina De-Militarized Zone.

3
TheRevanchist

My dog licks her ass when I bring her in from a walk.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Ha ha ha ha ha! Stupid dog. Should have asked for both handfuls.” – Andy Reid

1
Horatio Cornblower

I’d really like the Yankees to curb-stomp the Asterisks this evening, but I really hate rooting for Domingo German.

2
LemonJello

That seems like a solid Argentinian name.

2
Viva La Tabula Raza

I went to college (mid-80s) with a pale skinned blond guy named Pieter Roth from Buenos Aires. Not sure what his parents (grandparents?) did before emigrating to Argentina.

Last edited 4 years ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
1
Brick Meathook

Argentina had huge German and Italian immigration from the 19th century onward. Like Canada, it was for people who couldn’t get into the United States.

Last edited 4 years ago by Brick Meathook
1
Viva La Tabula Raza

I liked to imagine Pieter’s grandad was a U-boat captain or crewman on a sub that was scuttled off the coast of Argentina when the war ended.

2
Brick Meathook

There were a lot of German war brides among my parent’s friends growing up in DC. I used to build plastic models (I was really good at it too) and I built an Me-109 and one German wife told that her brother was an ace fighter pilot in the Luftwaffe and was one of the first pilots selected to fly the Me-262 jet. After the war he moved to Argentina.

I never put 2 and 2 together until years later.

1
BeefReeferLives

“The Boys from Argentina” just doesn’t have the same ring, does it?

1
Viva La Tabula Raza

“Is it safe?”
Wait, wrong movie…

1
BeefReeferLives

Yet another solid example of alliteration making the title tho’.
“Marathon Guy” just doesn’t sound as good.

3
Senor Weaselo

THIS YANKEE STADIUM, I CALL IT INIGO MONTOYA BECAUSE THERE WILL BE BLOOD TONIGHT! (And/or tomorrow and Thursday.)

2
Viva La Tabula Raza

I’ve always been pretty ambiguous about Rodgers. I mean, he seems lot less of an asshole than the guy I rooted for almost two decades as QB of my lifelong team (and of course I don’t give a fuck about him now that he has abandoned that team). Rodgers hasn’t been caught beating any females on camera, hasn’t committed any vehicular crippling injuries or homicides that I’m aware of, his charitable activities seem legit and well-intentioned, and even if he is gay, at least he has good taste when it comes to picking his beards. Family issues? So what. My aunt pissed off my mom during a visit (actually I kind of agreed with my aunt, she told my mom that my dad was an asshole and she could not understand how she had stuck it out for over 30 years) and they didn’t talk for almost 20 years. Rodgers has just had to carry the load too much.

3
TheRevanchist

He’s downgraded significantly with his current fiancé. Olivia Munn. Dan(ica) Patrick. Some swimsuit issue SI lady. And now he’s with a person with the personality of a wood plank and the acting skills to match. I just don’t get it, but to each his own.

And family is a funny thing. My other uncle doesn’t even know any details about my aunt’s death because they are all stubborn and the brothers just don’t want to talk to each other. My mom isn’t getting in the middle of it. So, another agreement, family is always a mistake to judge anyone against.

2
Beerguyrob

I believe “younger, with firmer breasts” will answer most general queries about his reasoning.

3
TheRevanchist

I stand corrected.

1
BeefReeferLives

Some of my Bears fan chums secretly feel the same way, he just plays for the wrong team… (No double entendre intended)

1
LemonJello

Jab #2 went in the ol’armaroonie this afternoon. Fingers crossed for a cool mutation.

7
Viva La Tabula Raza

Save us, Jello-Wan, you’re our only hope!
comment image/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/216?cb=20200108212555

Last edited 4 years ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
3
scotchnaut

I’m really curious as to whether Bill or Melinda ends up owning the microchips in your bloodstream. Please keep us updated.

3
LemonJello

comment image

2
Viva La Tabula Raza

Poor Chuck.

1
Viva La Tabula Raza

I hope Melinda gets my microchip in the divorce settlement; she seems like a lot kinder person than him.

Last edited 4 years ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
3
LemonJello

I think the microchips are just excited at the prospect of two Christmases this year!

6
TheRevanchist

Do you have an urge to go buy a Windows Surface tablet or a Zune?

2
LemonJello

You mean the official tablet of the National Football League? Not yet.

closes multiple Bing searches on Edge

2
TheRevanchist

I look at it this way: They have been screwing Rodgers for far too long.

  • McCarthy lasted how long and wasted Aaron’s good years.
  • Move up in the draft, not to help the current team, but to get his replacement.
  • Brady goes to TB, gets everything he needs and wins, something GB will never do for Rodgers.
  • Carried the whole damn franchise because of incompetent management.
  • Adams is good at catching the ball, but they have needed receivers for 3 or 4 years.
3
ThurberHerder

And to expound upon your second point, it appears they actually traded up to draft the inactive backup to his backup

2
scotchnaut

Trey Wingo sounds like the name of a cartoon character that tries to solve poker-related murders.

4
herodotus450

“Full House”
Trey Wingo: “Trey treys, read em and weep”

1
Warthog

Tray-cee (Trey’s girlfriend): Oh! Tres Trey!

Last edited 4 years ago by Warthog
1
Viva La Tabula Raza

It’s a joke name, sir.
Puts me in mind of what is probably one of the funniest scenes in cinematic history. Those poor extras in the last minute of of the clip must have had to do a hundred takes to get it right.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjLewXF0czk

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