Sexy Friday, Oopsies edition

We’ve all had those dreams where you are having a nice day and then you all of a sudden freak out because you remember that today is finals and you haven’t studied all semester and you have to be in the classroom in 20 minutes and you’re not wearing pants, right?

And you get them years after you finish any kind of formal schooling, right?

Well, I had a similar “Awshit!” moment about 90 minutes ago. I totally thought that Joliet Jake was going to do Sexy Friday this week and then I realized that no, that was last week and I hadn’t done shit all week and all of a sudden I have 90 minutes to scan the internet to find sexy goodness for you.

However, I pride myself on rising to the occasion (seewhatididthere?) and here is your Sexy Friday, on schedule and on budget.

It’s actually a little extra funny because I had two really good ideas for themes that I wanted to do once I started writing Sexy Friday again and I was saving time this weekend to write them up.

This week, I have decided to go with a theme of soccer gals since the Euro 2020 (in 2021!) will start very soon. I would also like to thank all the writers that have produced team previews and all the ones still to be published. You guys have done a great job, per usual, and it is greatly appreciated.

Without further ado, TO THE TITS AND ASSES!

For those of you prudes that don’t like cheesecake or beefcake, click HERE to skip to the music videos.

***

Without further ado, here are the Top Twenty Five Pics of The Week:

Balls’ Pic O’ Da Week!

***

YOU’RE-A-PRUDE

***

And now, for the music!

As I mentioned before, I’ve decided that I must take up the mantle that tWBS ran with and help to make this world a better place. I will do this in the one way he couldn’t: By introducing you to good music!

Today we are back to the puzzles! As always, I will give up to three hints in the comments at your request. You try to determine the hidden theme or link between all the songs. Good luck!

Song Number One:

Shakira – La La La

Canción Número Dos:

New Order – World In Motion

Chanson Numéro Trois:

Samba E Gol

Canzone numero quattro:

Arrow – Hot Hot Hot

Canção número cinco

Ricky Martin – La Copa De La Vida

Seigarren zenbakia:

Los Ramblers – Rock Del Mundial

***

That’s all for this week, folks! Be good to each other and try to stay the fuck away from stupid people. That’s not COVID-19 advice, that’s just general good sense. See you next week!

5 1 vote
Article Rating
ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
Subscribe
Notify of
70 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Fronkenshteen

comment image

Brick Meathook

comment image

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Alright, not going to finish it, but into the bottom of the Ardbeg Uigedail

Gumbygirl

Goodnight, sweet princes.

facebook_1622854816859_6806746449772698979_232328503888923.jpg
Brick Meathook

I thought I lost my phone in the last bar, but GOOD NEWS! It was in my pocket. Thus endeth the lesson.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Which bar?

Brick Meathook

On the left:

comment image

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Oh man. Clarendon Ballroom brings back memories.

Brick Meathook

I wasn’t in there but that’s the place.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I know my left from my right, i just found the right more appealing and can’t tell which pub you were in but it reminds me of Rira

Brick Meathook

comment image

SonOfSpam

I’m kinda drunk and don’t feel like thinking,

LET THEM AWKWARDLY SPLIT THE FLESHLIGHT.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Shallow and pedantic

Gumbygirl

Ummm…he can have it?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Found some old mini cheesecakes in the freezer i made a long time ago. A little freezer burn ain’t gonna stop this eatin’.

Brick Meathook

Girl #1 wins for me.

Girl #11 down the stack also does it for me.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ok, Kilchoman gone. Next up, finishing the Laphroaig 10.

SonOfSpam

Is that Jewel? Where did she go?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I always found her remarkably attractive. Except for her poetry.

SonOfSpam

Yes. That is a good opinion.

Brick Meathook

Jewel? Great tits and I always liked her smile with the one slightly crooked tooth. The beauty is in the flaws.

Beerguyrob

Okay – that Marchessault goal was bonkers. Purposely shot it off the goalie’s ass from behind the net to tie the game.

Beerguyrob

And now they’re up. What a crazy fucking game.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You know that expression “an ass you can bounce a quarter off”? Well a hockey puck is kind of shaped like a quarter…

Beerguyrob

That was five ridiculous minutes in the Avs-Vegas game. End to end action, with quick changes due to Vegas trying to line match & Colorado mixing lines to counter.

Gumbygirl

I have it?!! They were all in Menudo! I too, have been in some pretty deep menudo, but I have usually been able to talk my way out of it.

Gumbygirl

New guess, they all repeat lyrics 3 times, hot hot hot, la la la, ole, ole, ole…
Yes yes yes?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Deep Menudo also means something else in certain corners of the internet

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ok, working through all the liquor bottles that just have a little left. Tonight’s finish em up selection: Kilchoman 100% Islay.

SonOfSpam

MIX THEM ALL

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Mad man

Gumbygirl

That’s a clitectomy waiting to happen, I say hell no to genital mutilation!

Viva La Tabula Raza

My guy made a trip out here to restock my candy bowl tonight. I really appreciate him making the drive, but prefer to meet him at his place, so I can leave as soon as I have had enough. I love the guy, but he’s always coked up when he shows up here and starts rambling about his crazy friends and their shenanigans but I’ve never met any of the people he talks about. Of course, he’s always running late and I feel like it’s the seventies again waiting on the man to show up but at least if you get impatient you can reach out on the cell. Not possible 40 years ago.

Last edited 3 years ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Lou Reed was singing that in the background of my brain when I typed up my comment.

SonOfSpam

I shaved my legs and then I was a she

SonOfSpam

Confused. Drug dealer or gigolo? Either way, happy your candy bowl is filled.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Former not latter; he really loaded me up, I should be good for a couple of months….

Gumbygirl

Just say yes!

SonOfSpam

Watching the UCI Anteaters take on the Nevada Wolfpack in an NCAA baseball regional online and having a beer and feeling content and I hope y’all are doing goodly.

Dunstan

Habs are up 2-0 in the second round, which is about 5-6 more playoff wins than I expected, so I’m doing prettay prettay good.

SonOfSpam

Thanks for the reminder – go Bruins!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The Dr. Mrs. snapped this during our hike this morning. There were actually four of them – two adults and two fawns – this one came last and was bounding across the road.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

7010D887-439D-4064-9E9B-49420EB078A6.JPG
BrettFavresColonoscopy

The theme is songs recorded in a studio.

herodotus450

what about microphones?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Several of the lead singers used them to prove the expression “anything can be a dildo if you’re brave enough”

Gumbygirl

It must be true, it’s in a book!

facebook_1619816352310_6794002205759806760_45590336481200.jpg
BrettFavresColonoscopy
herodotus450

I suppose I could tolerate the Canadeiuons winning, on the condition that they get hilariously disqualified from the next round because of some crazy canadian cuorantine covid shenanigans.

Dunstan

Seeing that news that there’s a new Master & Commander film being developed. Very early stages — no actors* or directors attached yet — but excellent news.

*It won’t be Crowe and Bettany, as the idea is to adapt the first book, so you’d need much younger actors.

Dunstan

None of these bands have ever been in my kitchen.

SonOfSpam

One of my opponents on a certain game show did that as his final answer and I greatly respected it.

Dunstan

I heard that Alex Trebek stopped by the guy’s favorite bar afterwards.

Which is weird, considering that the bar was in Boston and Jeopardy! filmed in L.A. But Alex was a mensch.

SonOfSpam

A good man.
A good very fucking wealthy man.

But there are two kinds of people in the world; those who get the “in my kitchen” reference and those who watch Wheel of Fortune.

Brick Meathook

After suffering through five days of Mayim Bialik I appreciate what a pro Pat Sajak is.

Gumbygirl

I like her.

scotchnaut

All of the artists have had songs that were the “Official Ditty of The World Cup/Lesser Footy Competitions”.

Gumbygirl

That was my guess too!

Viva La Tabula Raza

But did they ever make an official New World Order song, maybe as an anthem for the United Nations?