Your “Tick Tock, Tick Tock” Monday Evening Open Thread

NFL Nuggets:

It’s one week to the start of training camps. WHAT WILL AARON RODGERS DO?!?!?!

  • Well, there is some news out of Green Bay today.
    • Marcedes Lewis was asked for his opinion, and AR12’s fifth option thinks he will show up.
      • “I think so,” Lewis definitively said.
    • Because they are a public company, the Packers released their 2020 financials, and it shows how bad 2020 was.
      • The Packers lost $38.8 million in 2020 national revenue (TV rights; merch sales), and local revenue losses of $149.1 million last year.
        • The local revenue drop from 2019 to 2020 was a 70.7-percent plunge, from $211 million to $62 million.
      • It allows for some extrapolation across the league, and that becomes some justification for the 17th game.
  • The NFL Network will broadcast 23 live preseason games this August.
    • It works out to at least seven live games per week, given that it’s a three-week preseason this year, plus the Hall of Fame game.
      • I hope you like local commentary!
  • A tale of two running backs, looking to get to work.
    • Saquon Barkley doesn’t know when he’ll be able to start practicing.
      • “[I] Just have to continue to listen to my body, listen to my trainers, listen to the coaches and take it day by day.”
    • Adrian Peterson is looking to get signed somewhere.
      • “I still feel young. I still feel good. I’m ready to play ball.”
        • It would be his 15th season if it happens.
        • He joins Frank Gore, LeSean McCoy, Le’Veon Bell, and Todd Gurley in looking for work.
  • Michael Irvin & Cole Beasley are having a media moment about vaccines.
    • Irv was quoted as saying, “If you’re unvaccinated that means you don’t want to win badly enough,” in reference to the Cowboys not yet being at the vaccination threshhold.
      • “If you’re not one of them teams [at the threshold], are you really thinking about winning a championship? You see what I’m saying.”
    • So PFT decided to ask Cole Beasley what that means to him.
      • Beasley responded with, “You can be vaccinated and not do all the right things football wise to be at your best. All it means is players are gonna be out there with covid and we won’t know cause they only get tested once a week so the NFL can make their money.”

Tonight’s sports:

  • MLB:
    • Red Sox at Blue Jays – 7:00pm | Sportsnet
      • The Jays get to come home on July 30th.
        • They got a “National Interest Exemption” from the feds
    • Cubs at Cardinals – 8:00pm | ESPN / TSN
    • Giants at Dodgers – 10:00pm | MLBN / Sportsnet1
  • Wrestling:
    • Monday Night Raw – 8:00pm | USA / Sportsnet360
      • the “Raod To SummerSlam” in Vegas begins tonight.

More importantly, the border opens to all double-vaccinated Americans August 9th. Beerguy gets to go sell beers!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Doktor Zymm

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Gumbygirl

Go to Vietnam!

Dunstan

That’s always worked out well for America.

Gumbygirl

They never faced the Mighty Zymm!

Anthony In TX

It’s my understanding that come all without, come all within, you’ll not see nothing like the Mighty Zymm.

Mr. Ayo

So way less than 1%?

HOAX!

TheRevanchist

So, after a fiasco with this trailer of air conditioned, fully plumbed trailer for bathrooms, I finally made some headway with the project engineer who had this trailer brought in while the locker rooms are being renovated. So, now they will post instructions on how to use the toilet properly. This might sound stupid, but they really are needed for reasons. I am an accountant, not a plumber, and I don’t need to deal with these issues anymore.

TheRevanchist

I hope they get things done without any complications.

Doktor Zymm

Alaska airlines just invited me to spend miles to watch the Giants game from their suite on the 27th. I’m gonna be in Chicago, otherwise I would consider it, it actually sounds pretty fun

Brick Meathook

I’ve flown Alaska Airlines round trip first class from LAX to DCA for several years and they never invited me to shit. Where is their “suite” located?

SonOfSpam

Alcatraz. You get binocs.

Mr. Ayo

Seriously. I’ve been flying first class with them for a decade.

Maybe they don’t like that I keep redeeming my points for free flights.

Doktor Zymm

It’s in Oracle, this is pretty clearly for people who are SFO based. I know they’ve had tie ins with the Seahawks for Seattle based people. It might also be because I have top tier status with them right now

Doktor Zymm

Anyone have opinions about Boise, Idaho?

King Hippo

I actually hear tell it’s amazing. Like a cheaper, colder version of the Boulder, CO area.

My former secretary was a Boise State grad. She was in NC for like 3 years, then went back.

Dunstan

All I know is what I see on TV, so I assume the grass there is blue. That’s just weird.

litre_cola

Won free admission to the Corn Maze. I was in Idaho Falls which isn lovely, kinda racist tho. Nonetheless corn maze state fair is great.

Brick Meathook

I lived in Idaho Falls when I was in the Navy.

Gumbygirl

I forgot nukes went there. I’ve driven through it, when going from Bozeman to SoCal.

TheRevanchist

Yeah, I’ve heard Idaho is terribly racist or angry militia or Mormons who hate/shun outsiders. Just what I have heard though. Never experienced Idaho myself.

Brick Meathook

Don’t have an opinion about a place you’ve never been to.

I’ve been there and there, and I think the prettiest girls in these United States are Mormon girls from Idaho and Jewish girls from Long Island. Also girls from either of the Carolinas.

Brick Meathook

“The Jehovah’s Witnesses I used to live with” is a story in itself my friend.

Last edited 3 years ago by Brick Meathook
TheRevanchist

I mean, I have never lived in Death Valley, but I am pretty sure I’d hate it.

Doktor Zymm
Last edited 3 years ago by Doktor Zymm
Don T

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SonOfSpam

HARF HARF NO THAT IS PENIS FUN EVEN IF SHE SAYS NO WHATEVER THAT MEANS

Gumbygirl

They just want them to know what it feels like to be a winner!

WCS

Still better than NY JETS SANCHEZ 6 sheets.

Brick Meathook

The cliff scene from Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, with Paul Newman and Robert Redford. This was shot near Durango Colorado, although the the actual jump was filmed at the old Fox Ranch in Malibu with a glass plate for the VFX.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KyR7XB0VBPM

Brick Meathook
King Hippo

a’ight, then. Who in this here Clubhouse is an Elvis Person vis-a-vis Beatles Person? Like Uma said, you can be only one.

Hippo – ELVIS Man

Brick Meathook

My goodness I love both. Uma was wrong.

Brick Meathook

Also Phil Spector.

King Hippo

How DARE YOU cross Ms. Thurman!!

Doktor Zymm

Yo, team Elvis here, at least as long as we limit it to their music. Elvis had some weird shit going on in the mamma issues department

litre_cola

I have taken to emphasizing a lot of things “like a fucking lady”

Thanks gumbygirl

Gumbygirl

Fucking A!

Sharkbait

All too accurate

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Anthony In TX

Jesus.
McCarthy could have picked a worse roster, but he would have had to include Boebert and Greene and that’s just too much damn crazy for one panel.

King Hippo

Look out #JellyNation…the Most Glorious el beisbol Cardinals is about to be .500!

WCS

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King Hippo

Don’t mind me, I has a very addled mind.

litre_cola

You are a good internet friend but fuck you.

King Hippo

Don’t b all jelly we let u win 1 at least smh

litre_cola

Everything must be done so the Blue team does not win. Low Commander will agree.

King Hippo

I just want to be slightly less shitty than the Bastard Man Small Bears. Being a Toffee* has helped me re-calibrate my dreams.

*see also, life in general

Doktor Zymm

I just want to say that I hate the constantly changing and inconsistent EU entry requirements, my job, and the most recent version of google maps where they put lots of useless crap that you can’t minimize on the screen so you can’t actually see where you are going on the map

Doktor Zymm

Also a special shoutout to the UK and Brexit, I am super happy y’all lost the Euros final in the most painful way possible since you’ve managed to make any travel that touches the UK as convoluted and painful as possible. It was a rare victory for global karma.

Anthony In TX

Seeing all those Brexiteers whining about how much worse everything is now is a special kind of schadenfreude.
I do feel bad for all the people who voted “stay,” though.

Doktor Zymm

I really want Scotland to secede and a Free Wales movement to pop up

Anthony In TX

You should come to Texas, where we got so much goddamned room you can scroll through multiple screens without coming across anything.

King Hippo

Read the “Fractured Europe” book series, it will bring some empathy.

ballsofsteelandfury

Nice rec! I just checked it out and ordered the first book! Looks great!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I typed “kinkedin.com” into Chrome one time and it *still* shows up as the first suggestion when I type in the letter K even though it was probably over a year ago.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I cannot tell you what is there because I don’t remember and if I visit the site again it will remain as a suggestion for the rest of my life as a Google product.

herodotus450

Heh, it’s not even a site (that works for me at least) and any attempt to search for it just redirects me to linked in anywa.

Mr. Ayo

It’s real, and it’s spectacular.

Mr. Ayo

Kinkedin – professional networking for the adult industry

BrettFavresColonoscopy

The conspiracy theories around the vaccines have more staying power and reach than Peter North

litre_cola

I will say it again. I will take 15 doses if it aint make me die. I have done waaay shadier drugs from Kevin behind the 7ev.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

They have more staying power than Rush Limbaugh. Cause he’s dead, you see. He ain’t goin’ nowhere!

Dunstan

“I’m not letting the government and Big Tech track me! Find out more on my Facebook page and YouTube Channel! –posted from my iPhone”

scotchnaut

“Look Ma, I Did A Freedom!”

-Cole Beasley

blaxabbath

“Oh you’ll ask me about football but the press won’t ask Hunter Biden about the child porn on his laptop!”

blaxabbath

Ate an orange chicken lunch special that I knew was disgusting when I picked it up. Still ate most of it. That was about five hours ago and I’m just laying down waiting for the food poisoning to really kick in now.

Anthony In TX

There’s a son of an Iron Chef who gets his dad to spruce up fast food. The one where he turns Panda Garden into something edible is mighty impressive:
https://youtu.be/QzqvtqyqxiE

blaxabbath

If it weren’t too late for me to just barf it up, the idea of Panda Express would make me hurl.

scotchnaut

“I’ll have the word salad.”

-Cole Beasley, ordering his first course at a restaurant

Gumbygirl

Christ, I thought I was having a stroke!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

HI I’M MARK DAVIS!

<blockquote class=”twitter-tweet”><p lang=”en” dir=”ltr”>Raiders’ President Marc Badain, instrumental in the team’s move to Las Vegas and a key member of the organization for 30 years, resigned today. <a href=”https://t.co/c9fvOcCn4y”>pic.twitter.com/c9fvOcCn4y</a></p>&mdash; Adam Schefter (@AdamSchefter) <a href=”https://twitter.com/AdamSchefter/status/1417268689443991553?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw”>July 19, 2021</a></blockquote> <script async src=”https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js” charset=”utf-8″></script>

blaxabbath

They outta offer the gig to Adrian Peterson.

Anthony In TX

AP being signed will be sure to whip that team’s fan base into a real frenzy

Anthony In TX

It’ll really help them whoop the competition.

Dunstan

You guys are really beating this joke into the ground. It’s getting abusive.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I can see this is a really sensitive area

WCS

Trying to explain to a five-year-old what the difference between “Betamax,” “DVD,” and, “Big Hero Six,” is easier than getting into space as a civilian.

Anthony In TX

My fondest memories of Betamax is all the softcore porn movies at Blockbuster were on Beta.
We had a VHS.

WCS

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Anthony In TX

“Oh yes, ‘Where The Boys Aren’t 6!'”

Dunstan

“What, like getting into space is hard?” — Jeff Bezos and Richard Branson

Gumbygirl

Assholes.

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Brick Meathook

Here’s an interview with an elderly but still very mentally facile Moe Howard of The Three Stooges:

https://youtu.be/lm6F5-qYONo

Last edited 3 years ago by Brick Meathook