Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks comments of the week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t.  

It was a quieter week with the lessor footy being over and very few able to see the Concacaf games and their being, like,  SFA on the TV at night to watch.  I guess the Tour just doesn’t have the pull of the footy, so we were all doing other things.  Speaking of other things, around these parts, we are now in stage 3 of re-opening, which means indoor dining, movie theatres and night clubs are allowed to open.  It was very strange to me to pass the local movie theatre and see a FULL parking lot.  Not sure I’m ready to sit in a theatre with all the other mouth-breathers and share the same air for 2 hours.  Same applies for me for indoor dining.  I’ve been in a restaurant just a handful of times in the last 16 months or so and all of them were to get the food to go.  I get that it’s a me problem for not being comfortable going out, but after this long it’s strange to not be at home all the time.  The current plan is to eat out on a patio a few times to feel safer but still get the idea of being around others without a mask, in what used to be a normal social setting.  Baby steps i guess as we hopefully return to whatever our new normal will be.

As a reminder, this post will cover comments made up to and through the Saturday Night Open Thread. Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post. Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.

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Going to have to go Milhouse Van Houten.

BeefReeferLives

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R2 Fucking D2 [ from the side kick draft post]
The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Well done.

Sharkbait

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For those of you in larger organizations that have seen weaker managers get undercut, been left hanging, or had other departments with stronger leadership take on the responsibilities that that manager had? This is what is going to happen to good old Pierre. And he won’t have a clue that it has occurred.
scotchnaut

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What would any of you suggest as the new name of the Washington Football Club?
Brick Meathook

The Washington Doors Flying Open.

Those DFO shares will go through the roof, which I know you will all use to buy me drinks.
Dunstan

I don’t know, but the back of their uniforms should say Chico’s Bail Bonds.
Gumbygirl

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Today’s update. Food poisoning still in full swing. Only made through half of my second day. Nothing but crackers and soda water since Sunday. Almost threw up at the office.

You should throw up at the office. Show them you mean business!
Gumbygirl

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I hate that “2” on the Rams uni. Only for the unnecessary vertical at the lower right, or as typographers call it, the uppity serif.
Don T

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“Subway just upped their bread game. They can legally call it bread now!”
Senor Weaselo

it’s actually made from tuna, unlike their tuna.
SonOfSpam

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Continued from yesterday Re: Pierre Maguire Re: Scotchnaut:
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
herodotus450

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Gumbygirl
July 14, 2021 1:57 pm
Since we don’t have a bajillion bucks to see a game at SoFi, and refuse to sell our souls to Saban at the crossroads, we’re going to a Chargers practice on August 8th that Gumby is registering for now. Free, and there’s a concert by the Offspring before, so we can channel tWBS! I just want to see Stan’s Gilded Palace of Sin, don’t give a shit about the Bolts. I will get the link in a minute, I think it’s Ticketmaster.
Gumbygirl

<femur drums rumble ominously in the background>
LemonJello

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I’m gonna incorporate gifs in business communication, for concision’s sake. Just gonna put this one as autoreply for every email saying “I will seek legal action”

Don T

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Today was the due date for all our performance cycle feedback, so I spent all day writing my self-review, peer reviews, and upward feedback for the 3 main managers I had this half. None of this actually matters, because the good managers already know what you did and the bad managers aren’t going to suddenly figure it out from a few paragraphs, so it’s really all a ruse to make people think that the system is fair and people with shit managers still have a chance to have their work recognized instead of just getting metaphorically punched in the gut for trying.

Anyway, I’m going to go have a drink and redo the calculations on my optimal quitting date for the cases where my new manager turns out to be above, below, or near the median manager quality
Doktor Zymm

“These self-evaluation tools cannot gauge faithfully my awesomeness for the last Quarter. But since emotional intelligence is important, my apologies. For making you all look bad in comparison.”
Don T

I was tempted to go with the Letter to Santa approach and say I had been a very good employee who deserved a pony
Doktor Zymm

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The clubhouse tonight is slower than Britt Reid’s reflexes the night he struck a parked car on the side of the road, causing life-threatening injuries to a child.
LemonJello

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So the U.S. is currently on track to have our most new COVID cases since May 14.

THIS UNITED STATES I CALL US “THE STATISTICIAN” CAUSE WE ARE ALL ABOUT REGRESSION
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Two belts in a row.

But enough about Coach Reid’s pants-retention failures during his last trip to the Olive Garden…
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

We would have also accepted “A light punishment, according to Adrian Petersen’s kids”
LemonJello

“………….”

— David Carradine
Beerguyrob

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found a funny:

“Saturn Devouring a Capri Sun” pic.twitter.com/kfggo3lXQi

— Kent Sheely (@ksheely) July 8, 2021

rockingdog

“Mom! I need an advance in my allowance! I want to buy some art!” – Eli M.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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This 10.5% beer might fuck with my ability to get work done tonight. I might have to mail one to Horatio to protect myself.
BrettFavresColonoscopy

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(watching Die Hard With a Vengeance)

So they find out where the bad guys are who stole all the gold in the Federal Reserve of New York and they only bring one unarmed helicopter. The American Army invaded Canada multiple times over far less.
Redshirt

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Going for the rare Sunday Gravy two-fer. Tonight’s is two weeks ago’s “Chili-Roasted Chicken With Honey, Lemon, and Feta”. Just pulled it out of the oven. I didn’t get the skin crispy like Chef Right, but the house certainly smells like I know what I’m fucking doing.
Went all the way back to Aug. 27, 2017 for tomorrow’s second leg: Grilled Pesto Pork Chops With Garlic Roasted Mashed Potatoes. Got my chops marinating in the fridge. My attitude’s right. Thanks, as always, for the inspiration.
Fronkenshteen

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I saw the US Men’s National Team was taking on Martinique, and I was intrigued.

Turns out it’s some island country, not a hot French babe.

C’est la vie.

(no, just shut the fuck up Robbie Nevil)
SonOfSpam

If I were a professional soccer coach, my goal wouldn’t be the Premier League or the US National team.
No, it’d be one of those tiny island nations where you get your ass stomped a lot by the big boys but also get to live on a Caribbean island year-round.
Anthony In TX

It’s all fun n games until your shack blows away and a fat American throws paper towels at you.
SonOfSpam

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Look, you can’t blame Urban Meyer for assuming players are slaves. Jerry Richardson and the NCAA both taught him they are.
BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Man, this Richard Sherman stuff just screams CTE.
Doktor Zymm

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LA County just announced they’re bringing back a mask mandate. This is fucking ridiculous. Sure, so maybe the unvaccinated will begrudgingly wear their masks at the grocery store now that lying about their vaccinated status isn’t an option, but they’re just going to go to their friends’ houses and hang out maskless and trade viruses anyway.

Let them die and stop inconveniencing the rest of us. Or else mandate the vaccine and fucking put an end to this shit. But the in-between stuff is pointless.
Dunstan

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Aw, Biz Markie finally passed. Been in hospice for a bit.

Now, don’t say he’s just a corpse. Now don’t say he’s just a corpse.
SonOfSpam

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Bleeding into downstream, I wonder if there is so much NFL enthusiast/lawyer/engineer type bleedover because of the underlying maths/game theory?

It’s easy to see with engineering, but the LSAT was almost exclusively game theory, logic puzzles, and having the vocabulary of someone who reads.
King Hippo

While the strategy elements are interesting to a broader audience than just us nerdy type folks, I think we’re probably the ones who are yelling the most about those damn chickenshit coaches not going for it on 4th when it’s clearly a positive expected value play to do so
Doktor Zymm

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This is not a photo of my boat, and I don’t know these guys, but it looks identical to my boat.

This is a photo of the “Maneuvering Room” in the Engineering spaces of a U.S. atomic submarine of the class I served on (USS James Madison). This may look exotic to you, but it it looks really normal to me. Let’s examine it together:

The guy in the foreground is the throttle-man. Those big wheels in front of him control the flow of steam into the main engines. The larger wheel is the “ahead” throttle and the smaller wheel is the “astern” throttle. The big dial on his panel is the engine order telegraph from the conn up forward; but mostly they called back and verbally asked for specific engine RPMs (“Make 30 turns on the main shaft”)

The middle guy is the reactor operator. During normal operations he didn’t have to do anything, because reactor power automatically follows steam demand (it’s physics). But we drilled constantly and did scrams and shutdowns and startups and fast-scram recoveries and then he got busy.

The guy in the back is the electrical operator. On his panel he controlled the main AC and DC buses and their generation and distribution. I was stationed just outside this room and ran the main engines and our turbine-generators, which could produce four-million watts of AC electrical power (which is enough to power a medium-sized town). The electrical operator would manage this power between our AC and our DC electrical systems, and it was a power-hungry ship. The DC was at 120 volts and the AC was at 450 volts 60-Hz three-phase ungrounded. Both will kill you instantly, just in slightly different ways.

Up forward, the Weapons Department took some of this DC voltage and fed it into their own static-inverters that created precision 400-hertz electricity for the Trident rockets and their guidance systems.

On the far wall is the seawater valve panel (seawater was essential for cooling), which shows which seawater valves are open or shut. That knowledge is kind of a really big deal on a submarine.

Missing is the EOOW (Engineering Officer of the Watch) who would have been tucked in at the right rear. I’m assuming he took this photo.

The rest of the panels are electrical switchboards powering various engineroom systems, mostly low-voltage sensors, nothing special.

I hope this cleared things up for you.
Brick Meathook

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Apparently there’s a Texas monkeypox now??
ballsofsteelandfury

I’ve just been calling him “Ted Cruz” all these years.
Dunstan

Oh, see, that’s “Monkeyfucker.” Or is that Abbott? It’s getting so hard to tell all these monkeyfuckers in my state apart.
Anthony In TX

Florida, meanwhile, has Congressman Minorfucker.
Dunstan

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Hey Hippo, what variant of COVID are they up to in 2110? I assume they ran out of Greek letters a while ago — did they start naming them all after Republican politicians and Fox News hosts? “Shit, did you hear, Bob got Tucker COVID.” “Wow, that one’s spreading even faster than DeSantis COVID did last year!”
Dunstan

Really disturbing how many people i see on social media saying how much they love DeSantis. This country is fucked.
BrettFavresColonoscopy

I keep saying that with our combined wealth we can buy an island and all just go there
Sharkbait

I’m in. BUT only if there is a mini trainline connecting all of our houses. I’m not budging on this or taking any questions.

scotchnaut

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Editor
July 17, 2021 6:16 am
Hey, the British Open is on-it’s the only time of the year you hear the word, ‘fescue’.
scotchnaut

Is that a combo of felch and rescue?
ballsofsteelandfury

“Fescue, fescme… fesc it together, that’s the way it should be.”

-Lionel Ritchie, singing The British Open’s anthem
scotchnaut

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Woo hoo. I’m drunk & wandering around downtown Vancouver. Half the places I want to visit are closed, which sucks because I could get free drinks there because I taught a bartender.
Beerguyrob

I’ve taught bartenders a lot, too. Mainly, “don’t serve that guy.”
Dunstan

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It’s too bad baseball got so boring for some reason over the last 10 years, cause this Shohei guy seems to be pretty good.
herodotus450

It’s never boring in person, but on tv it’s a snoozefest. Golf, on the other hand, is boring, period.
Gumbygirl

Golf is awesome. There’s no better way to spend 4 hours day drinking outdoors.
Mr. Ayo

-10000 walks spoiled
Dunstan

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May I suggest that in order to pay for the sports on TV, you reduce the amount of alc…

/ gets tarred, feathered, and banned from DFO.
ballsofsteelandfury

We can ban hammer an admin? Lol
Game Time Decision

For besmirching alcohol? No. For an unfortunate use of an ellipsis? Yes.

(Pours one out for Leelah Alcorn)
Redshirt

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Toodles poodles!

Gumbygirl

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No news program is talking about a huge bike gang running through the streets of Paris willy nilly right now. Stupid lamestream media!
scotchnaut

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Gumby just told me a dad joke
Question: Who hangs out in the bathroom during a party?
Answer: Party pooper.
Gumbygirl

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Am i an idiot for assuming you had to add butter to milk to make buttermilk?
BrettFavresColonoscopy

You actually have to take the butter out to get buttermilk. It gets even better!:
About 100 years ago “buttermilk” was the liquid left over after you churned butter, a sour yellowish liquid. And “sour milk” was milk that had some kind of bacteria/fermentation going on inside it.
Today, in a normal grocery store, what’s labeled as “buttermilk” is actually sour milk: milk with some special bacteria added to it. And true buttermilk is nowhere to be found.
herodotus450

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I’m out, nighty night fellow kids

Gumbygirl

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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

Stay busy and safe out there.

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