It’s been four years now, is anyone happy with the direction of Rikki’s Raiders? Seems to me the success of the season relies on a tremendous number of ‘ifs’. Oops, I’ve gotten ahead of myself. On Mondays I usually do a follow up on Sunday’s action. Here it comes…
Fall Out:
-Who the hell is Elijah Mitchell? This week’s trendiest pickup, that’s who!
-The Fantasy Gods have spoken-they don’t want Jeudy and Sutton playing together. So do you grab Patrick or Hamler?
-Them Gods are picking on Scary Terry as well. Imagine how happy he was to have Harvard on board-finally, semi-competent qb’ing! Alas, he’ll have to wait for a few fortnights. Btw, “Subluxation” sounds like an expensive accessory on a new Tesla vehicle.
-Jax proved that having a coach that is a control freak with anger issues isn’t the way forward. Will Meyer change in any way? Nope.
-Was Cincy’s coaching concerned at all about Chase’s ‘catching’ issues? Not one bit-what a non-story. Ja’Marr had a 90% snap share and a 27% target share. If Burrow can remain upright that Bengals O should be deadly and entertaining.
To The Game!
Ravens/Raiders:
-A crowd in Vegas for the first time. Look for plenty of shots of displaced roid abusers with spikes on their shoulder pads and silver paint on their (acne-scarred) faces.
-Did ye know that the Ravens have won five straight openers and have not surrendered more than 10 points during that streak? I don’t think it ends here. Of course, I thought the Titans were going to blow out the Cards, so what do I know?
-I have some bad news for Jacobs owners that need him to come through ce soir. He is trending towards playing but-this is nuts-of his 19 TD’s scored, 17 have come in victories. Sounds like we got ourselves a frontrunner here.
-All eyez are on Ty’Son although Lat might get some work-though that should be very straightforward run plays given that he’s had only the smallest of peeks at the playbook.
Do you need someone to come through tonight? Let us know below.
That ref looks like Larry Elder.
oh God, Lions/Packers next week. We have an Angry God.
Giants and Football Team for Thursday night. Vengeful God.
So this is a score in my money league. I am neither of these teams:
I bet they thought they were so clever starting Aaron Rodgers and Derrick henry
Is that Gilligan?
Minnow Johnson must of went heavy drafting the Packers or has a ton of Raiders and Ravens
No White Claws, 1/10.
Sportscasters use the word “unbelievable” WAY too fucking much.
That punt was just called “unbelievable.” Was it great? Yes! Was it huge? Yes! Was it incredibly helpful to the Raiders’ chances? Yes!
Was it beyond the realm of belief? No!
Holy shit, Zay Jones is still in the League?
Finished dinner (air fryer fish and chips – YUM), rebooted the router three times, and now here I am. Let’s fuckin’ do this, Monday.
We stopped at Popeye’s on the way home. Gumby just realized he has this Tyson Williams on his fantasy team, could be a sleeper!
Did you send me a message in fantasy? It says there’s one but doesn’t show any text.
No, I don’t think I intentionally sent you anything. Maybe a buttdial?
Don’t try to class it up you had Fish sticks and waffle fries. Don’t be ashamed.
Live look at Word Press Servers.
We’re moving back to geocities
THIS TY’SON WILLIAMS, I CALL HIM A BUNNY RANCH NEWBIE BECAUSE HE SCORED FOR THE FIRST TIME IN VEGAS WHILE SURROUNDED BY SUPERSPREADERS
Al Davis spinning in grave for not drafting fastest receiver in the draft
Over/under on number of plays before the Raiders turn it over is 3.
How the fuck you doing THESE GUYS and THESE GALS and THESE NON-BINARY FRIENDS?
You know, paying off buying tix to NYR-Boston in April. You’re officially on notice for the 23rd/24th now.
Well, at least it wasn’t scored by the guy I’m playing against in fantasy.
Nice job by the 9th string running back to take it 35 yards up the middle on 4th and inches.
Scrub TD!
Good Monday, mes amies! Just got back from the weed store, gonna need it with Election Day looming. TD Ratbirds!
A serving size of sugar, according to my humble local bag of sugar, is 2 teaspoons. I think that makes a can of coke something like 47 servings of the stuff.
Hey guys? Guys? I’m liking this Manning simulcast
Has PeyPey given Elisha the “why do you keep hitting yourself” treatment yet?
Noogies!
Eli was a Milford student. He’s a mute
I’d say “they should have done Giants-Donks” but who in their right mind would put that game in front of a national audience?
I am way overdue for a Vegas trip. Must go once this pandemic bullshit is over. Also after DFOCon: East
I’ll never forgive my grandparents for backing out on their promise to take me there.
Three and out with two near-interceptions?
That’s My Raiders!
God: and moses, I have one more commandment
Moses: what’s that?
God: Lamar Jackson will be nay invincible except for playoff games and matchups where brocky needs points from the ravens kicker.
Spoke too soon
Or not
That was originally the 16th Commandment, but… you know.
Goldfinger remake tabs Mark Davis as the titular character (and Charles Woodson is apparently gonna be Oddjob)
Underground layer under PF Changs
Woww, Maxx Crosbby really iss pretty greatt.
Eli is the good version of Don Jr
Wait: there’s a black Wonder Years? Does it take place in 2097?
In Wakanda
The Maestro needs 72 points out of Lamar Jackson to catch me. It *probably* won’t happen…but These *are* My Raiders.
If it happens, I will post hole on this site. You have my word, internet.
Will it be portable?
Carr Wreck
RIKKI: Time for football! [turns on TV]
RAIDERS CENTER: [snaps ball when Carr isn’t looking, taking them out of field goal range]
RIKKI: It can’t be as bad as I fear!
RAIDERS: hold our beers
We’ve replaced the Raiders offense with the Keystone Kops. Let’s see if anyone notices.
Won’t be the first time ‘squander’ and ‘Mariota’ have been used in the same sentence.
Gruden: “I have faith in our O-line.”
Also Gruden: [employs a 3 tight end alignment]
Before or after the center got hurt
Need 18 points from Lamarvalous to win my matchup. That happens to be the lowest scoring matchup in the league.
Gentlemen.
Shteens!
Well, I guess I need to change my user name to “Nicky Minaj’s Trinidadian Cousin’s Friend’s Testicles.” I’m sure that will age well.
Ratbirds really want to see Fozz on tonight’s late local news.
OK. Three time world champion Las Vegas Raiders is a bit much
“Grinding Into Dust” is also an apt description of giving Virginia McCaskey a lap dance.
I got your calcium here baby
/bites into red carnation
Viva Lost Wages! Pay the Spur Family!
(i miss seeing Fat Elvis at the old Klondike)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ui0EgRsFVN8&ab
Vulva Las Vegas!
HAHAHAHAHA
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/texas-gop-anonymous-website-hack-b1919387.html
Man, that’s some good Rickroll right there.
Awesome. Fuck those guys.
At all makes sense now. Derek Carr was just wearing kohl 5 years too early. We’ll who’s laughing now!
Evening.
*raises G&T*
&D
Remember to lift with your legs, Iz heavy
Will the Metropolitans let the #BFIB sweep FOAR teh Greater Good??
Hell hath no fury like a scorned Rodgers.
Am loving all this Rodgers hate. some of these Wisconsin cows believe that tweet that Rodgers is a saboteur. He’s not that dumb.
Josh sounds liek a me first GLOREE BOY amirite?
Also, one of my neighboUrs has a bumper sticker that reads “Proud Parent of a Child Who is Sometimes an ASSHOLE, and that’s OK”
Wifi here is limited but there’s a bunch of purple protesting vaccines outside the stadium and, if you want hope for civilized America, about everyone on our bus in was just flat ripping on them and HARSH
That’s good. Enjoy the game, by which I mean get blackout drunk before kickoff!
The Spur family investment in these Raider season tickets are about to come through. We have 2 box seats and 4 nose bleed + 10 more tickets for the Broncos, Eagle and Chief games. Requiring vax cards to get in the stadium caused a mini buy back and the tickets went up to season ticket holders.
I would try to go to the DONKS WOO!! fixture, but I don’t want to die in Nevada.
The way i see it, have these people buying our tickets will be in jail by Sunday morning or too hungover by gameday to cause any issues.
I’m locked in a Kicker battle tonight for a FF victory. If the Raiders kicker scores more points than the Ravens kicker, I win.
I’m fucked.
I bet you are wondering who I want to win this matchup. Why? Because I said so. But, that isn’t the only reason. I need the Raiders to be terrible. Heck, I even need Northern San Diego and the Mile High Horses to suck, as well.
But, I do not hate all the Raiders. Carr is a Fresno State product, and, therefore, the person I want to see perform on that entire team. And we all know, Fresno State has a history of producing NFL quarterbacks.
David Carr
Trent Dilfer
Tom Brandstater
Billy Volek
Kevin Sweeney
We practically produced QBs and set the standard.* I’m sure Derek will kick some butt, and the rest of the team will lose it for him.
USC job is open and Urban Lair’s heart just skipped a beat. Seriously, why live in Jacksonville when you can live in Brentwood
Has any NFL coach EVAR resigned after Week 1??
I have no proof but i know in my bones Bobby Petrino only should up for the Sunday games.
for old times sake
*my jpg wont show.
“Does resigning yourself to not making the playoffs count?” — Robert S., New York
Afternoon Folks
JV Football news…update your CV, because USC is looking for a head football coach.
A loss to Stanford = fuck off forever Clay Helton
He will be missed (by UCLA fans).
That was hilarious.