Did you miss the football? I did. It ain’t hurt that some excellent games fell into our laps last weekend. (ya got lucky, Shield) Hey, looky here, the Giants are finally(!) being featured in a nationally televised broadcast. Took long enough. Is that the grinding of teeth I hear out Puerto Rico way? They haven’t been competitive since 2016 but it sure helps to play at the center of the universe.
Some good news-my “Zero Talent Running Back” strategy paid off in fantasy for one week at least. If paying off means “scoring the third-least amount of points but was playing against the guy that scored the very least”.
In injury news (there’s always injury news) Demarcated Lawrence of the Cowboys is gone for a month or two. That just made Justin Herbert’s job that much easier this weekend. Psst! It was always going to be easy.
To The Game!
-Saquon is listed as questionable and I wonder if that extends to his chances of success this year. Week one over-reaction? Yes BUT that o-line is a disaster in the run game. He’ll probably get even less carries/action than he did vs Denver given the quick turnaround.
-That’s the same o-line that Gettleman had so much faith in. (since the last preseason game he’s traded for two players and grabbed three others off the scrap heap. One of those scraps is apparently getting his 1st start at the center position tonight. Yay!)
-Taylor Heinicke is the man at the helm now that Harvard has left the building. He dropped back to pass just 53% of the time last week, indicating that the playbook is likely to be scaled the fuck back. But wait-didn’t he acquit himself well in the playoff game vs Tampa last year?
-The game has taken on a bit more importance to those of us that watch the pitiful shenanigans in the NFC East. Fans, neutral observers and sportsmouthers all agreed that the Eagles would be garbage but they looked okay in week numero uno. (what’s it like to feel hope Litre?) Some team will be sporting an 0-2 blemish after tonight and the heat will be on.
Say what you want down below-you’ve earned it.
Nutless Joe goes for the field goal.
She seems nice.
She is what I had hoped for when my son said his PT nurse was spanking his ass.
My wife has those boots.
And we do have a fire place.
Why is this woman in my house stealing my wife’s things?
Because you are weak willed and she senses that. Better hide the good silverware
You know, I’m not sure we have any “good” silverware.
That hold was a makeup for the roughing the passer. Both calls were awful
That was socceresque
Did someone flip around on the ground for 5 minutes like they are dying then get back up and be back to 💯?
No just exaggerated contact and milked a score-changing call. Standard CONCACAF. Which come to think of it the FedEx turf would fit well in a stadium in Guatemala or El Salvador.
What kind of tax breaks is El Salvador offering? – Danny S., Landover, MD
Underrated comment.
Son of a bitch-he didn’t trip on the way to the end zone!
For some reason I thought of this:
Heinicke’s hospital balls are really coming along.
Gumby just sent me this
Aaron rodgers looks like someone who played the protagonist in an 80s teen movie, then is mad years later when he realizes everyone loved the bad guy more
Looks like the guys camping in the city park near here. The ones that throw their used syringes into a pile by the storm drain.
I’ve seen junkies that look way more alert and aware than he looks here.
“A pile like 40 yards away?”
– Brad Holmes
Just talking with a friend of mine and we looked up the 2019 draft. The Giants took Jones 6th, one pick in front of Josh Allen.
Of course, they didn’t take Dwayne Haskins, so that is something.
Whats the refresh icon? Im iPhone so maybe there isnt one
If using Chrome, click the address bar and press enter. Or scroll all the way up and keep scrolling.
Or use Safari.
F5
“Football is freedom”
🤣
All them meetings and shouting sound terrible.
Can’t wait!
Oh please. Oh please.
Are Rod & Todd warming up?
I had to bring back their original bit just this once – she’s young and she probably won’t die, but it’s funny as fuck that she’s got it and apparently is in a lot of pain.
Looney Laura Loomis lies lifelessly leaking liquid lungs.
No way that selfish C- word doesn’t have the shot
Laura Looney! She needs some dewormer
I wonder how big her ovaries swelled up.
McLaurin being a damn ball hog. smh…
Hey guys its still attached!
https://twitter.com/BrandonPerna/status/1438668148299812867?s=20
You’d smile too with that much morphine coursing through your blood.
Endorphins are a hell of a drug.
I remember hearing theismann talk about his leg getting broken, something along the lines of “I heard a loud pop go off, my entire side went numb, and I was in no pain.
They say that Dimes lacks ‘pocket awareness’ which I think is just another way of saying that he locks on to his 1st/2nd read and doesn’t see much of anything else.
“Processor speed” is a flaw one can’t really fix.
Nope. He probably needs a motherboard upgrade too. That’ll be an expensive fix
Better to scrap it and get a new one.
He needs to download moar RAM!
A Duke education doesn’t mean what it once did.
Sci-fi stadium. Troy is such a moron!
Burn a timeout, still line up wrong.
NFC East Football! Catch the excite!
Just wait for Black Panthers/500s bukkake next week!
THAT is the smile of a man who’s had his morphine shot AND knows he don’t have to play for Los Gigantes no MOAR.
Looks like Tib – Fib compound from the pic on twitter. Search Nick Gates if you want it
Same injury I had, just not the compound part. He done for the year.
same leg the shark gotcha? If so, that is quite the gypsy curse
I’ll prove that old Gypsy woman wrong damnit.
Fedex field eats another leg.
Another one bites the dust!
Another one bites the dust!
I tried to stream this game and all the sites I checked just had a static image that said “go do something else; nobody wants to watch these teams.”
Okay. At what point do the NFLPA demands FedEx Field either gets destroyed or exorcised. It just claimed yet another victim’s leg.
“The injury is bad enough.. we’re just not going to show it to you”
He got DAK!ed.
Nice to know Billy Price’s “180° On Field Spectator” pass blocking hasn’t changed.
Just turned on the football game. Seems I missed a sniper?
Get the kill tent
Update time: The boys electrolytes are back to normal, the liver is not dead, just seriously wounded and may recover some, he can walk about 20ft before basically collapsing, and he is eating and keeping it down. So major improvements.
Damn. That’s good to hear.
Progress is progress, and glad you have some to report!
“he can walk about 20ft before basically collapsing”
Fucking show-off.
/resumes shoveling chocolate chip ice cream in what can only be described as a gaping maw.
//seriously, good new A&H. Sending thoughts for continued good progress.
Great news! Tell him if he does that to you again, your imaginary friends will kill him.
Oh, there is a line and it begins with me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLxQQW-rtDY
Glad to hear it.
One foot in front of the other, that’s the only way. I wish you and your whole family nothing but the best!
Great news!
Great to hear. Hope he keeps improving. Best wishes to you snd your family.
That was a “let’s help these hopeless chucklefucks matriculate down the field” kind of call.
Thank you refs. May I have another?
THE ENTIRE FUCKING LEAGUE KNOWS THAT THE GIANTS WILL RUN ON 1ST DOWN. JESUS FUCKBALLS! MIX IT UP!
Saquon has as much confidence in his knee as I do in my physical appearance.
Before or after the 3rd pill?
But I’m tryin’ REAL HARD to throw to Shepard.
Professional Turnstile Billy Price is starting at Center?!
Nice knowing you, Daniel Jones’ health.
We should have a Ded Pool, but on number of carries and Saquon’s knee.
Task: playing at FedEx field
Difficulty: rain, fog, poor lighting
Possibility of getting hurt: I hope the teams insurance is paid up
See! See!
Wow, that was an atrocious route combination. Double ins on the left, and some hook-out combo on the right? Didn’t see any rubbing built in at all.
LOLOLOLOLOL!!! This game is already a disaster.
I started to regret not taking the ‘Dacteds in Survivor, but then the ether wore off.
That’s a strong Erin Andrews appearance!
More fog, Mother Nature! I can still see the field and teams.
sadanduseless-com-the-invention-of-glue-i-bet-if-we-melt-63645466.png (500×672)
The fall from Peyton and Eli to Buck and Aikman is far indeed.
Don’t wanna bring you down, but this is important:
but how does it FEEL, man?
Hot damn an NFC East duel. Hope they fixed those sewer lines.
The sewage will be on the field-his name is Danny Dimes.
Be MOAR fun if they got appreciably worse. Get the crowd singing Doo-doo Brown!
Baby Puncher really digs Daniel Jones, for some reason. Maybe his fantasy league gives you PLUS points for fumbles?
I would like the Jints to be competitive. Swear on my [unintelligible]’s grave. I also drafted Sterling Shepard for a FF, another year of doing that. Yep
Don The Grinder
I mean, he was 2 freaking dolares, I am not made of stone!!!
I’m hopelessly mesmerized and open to suggestion!
.
You haven’t heard my singing voice.
I would like a medium Shepard night, since I have him – but on me bench.
I would like turrrible nights FOAR Golladay (DFO League) and ‘Dacteds D/ST ($$ League).
Do we need a Golladaaayyyyy?
I am being told no. No we don’t.
Golladay is talented, but who in the blue hell is going to throw to him? The ghost of Eli?
Space Eli, and his space brother, Peyton
Instead of fist bumps, forehead bumps that work like Wonder Twin powers.
“Golladaaayyyyy. It would be so nice.”
-Madonna, putting Kenny into her fantasy lineup
She’s quite the fantasy enthusiast ,, ppl forget that!
Culturally I’m Irish Catholic, but I’ve hung with the tribe (who I love and respect and adore) so I atoned today on Yom Kippur
To anyone here I may have offended, I deeply regret it, and I’m atoning hard, yo!
I’m the forgiving type, except to Baker Mayfield. Fuck that guy.