Sexy Friday, Last Friday in September 2021 edition

No one got the song puzzle last week, so I am rerunning the songs. Y’all got pretty close with the states thing, but I wasn’t going to make it that easy for you.

There is a relationship between the states that you need to figure out.

Thanks again to y’all that contribute pictures! I greatly appreciate your input and I think our collective penises appreciate the pictures.

On to Balls’ Thoughts O’ Da Week!

***

Balls’ AFL Grand Final Preview

Yes, it’s the matchup that everyone expected at the beginning of the year: Melbourne Demons against the Western Bulldogs.

Of course, absolutely no one expected this matchup. However, no one can really say that these two teams don’t deserve to be there as they have really been the two most consistent teams in the entire competition.

During the Home and Away season, the Demons beat the Doggies by 28 (59-87) at Marvel Stadium while the Doggies beat the Demons by 20 (65-85) at the MCG. Both “home” teams lost the games.

That doesn’t really tell us much about what to expect for the Grand Final being held in Perth, does it?

Alls I know is that it is airing TONIGHT at 2:15 AM Pacific and 5:15 AM Eastern. I hope you East Coasters are able to wake up early to watch it. It’s honestly much better than the crappy EPL games. The channels are FS2 and TSN2.

***

Balls’ Book Corner

As I previously mentioned, I started reading the Fractured Europe series thanks to Hippo’s recommendation. I finished Europe in Autumn and wrote about it in a previous edition of Sexy Friday. I subsequently ordered Europe At Midnight, the second book in the series, and have now also finished it.

First off, let me say that it’s a completely different story with different characters from the first book but it is occupying the same universe. Some of the characters from the first book do make an appearance and do tie up some loose ends and also tie characters together.

The purpose of this second book is to develop the background from the other side of the story. Those of you that have read the books know what that means. It’s very hard to write about these books without giving away too much. I feel this is one of those books that is perfectly made for Book Clubs. Like people read them and then get together to talk about what they’ve read and what they think is next.

I’ve never thought about joining a Book Club. Mostly because I’m pretty anti-social, but reading this book kinda makes me understand why people would do it. You wanna share the cool shit you read but you really can’t do that with your friends because not everyone will know what you are talking about and they won’t necessarily relate.

Anyway, I greatly enjoyed the second book and I have today received the third! I will be writing about that one in the coming weeks.

I’ll just say that I want to thank Hippo for recommending this series. I am greatly enjoying it.

***

For those of you prudes that don’t like cheesecake or beefcake, click HERE to skip to the music videos.

Here are your Top 11 pictures of the week.

h/t Horatio
h/t Horatio
h/t Brocky
h/t Brocky
h/t Brocky
h/t Brocky
h/t Brocky
h/t Brocky
h/t Brocky
h/t Brocky
h/t Brocky (Balls’ Pic O’ Da week!)

***

YOU’RE-A-PRUDE

***

And now, for the music!

As I mentioned before, I’ve decided that I must take up the mantle that tWBS ran with and help to make this world a better place. I will do this in the one way he couldn’t: By introducing you to good music!

Today we are back to the puzzles! No one guessed last week’s puzzle, so I’m replaying it. You guessed that all the songs mentioned states. That’s the first part of the solution. The next part is that you need to determine how those states are related.

As always, I will give up to three hints in the comments at your request. You try to determine the hidden theme or link between all the songs. Good luck!

Song Number One:

The Pretenders – My City Was Gone

Canción Número Dos:

Presidents of the United States – Cleveland Rocks!

Chanson Numéro Trois:

Depeche Mode – Route 66

Canzone numero quattro:

Kid Rock – All Summer Long

Canção número cinco

Shania Twain – Rock This Country

Seigarren zenbakia:

The Beach Boys – Surfing USA

***

That’s all for this week, folks! Be good to each other and fly low and avoid the radar.

4.8 4 votes
Article Rating
ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
Subscribe
Notify of
122 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
WCS

What a finish in Canadia.

yeah right

Alright. Y’all know I’ve been talking about Reedley College for awhile. Yes, that really is brother DJ TAJ who did the boots on the ground thing.

But now I’ve got real world interest to throw at you.

Netflix has a show called “Last Chance U” and the second season is about a team called “Langley.” from the Northern part of the state and I can respect that.

Watch that shit. It’s compelling as hell. These guys play for a possible chance at the dance and for love of the game.

Guess who the Reedley Fucking Tigers play tomorrow?

Made for television shit here, baby.

This was why they got promoted.

Gumbygirl

There doesn’t seem to be any pattern to why I get logged off this site. I can be on for days, and then I’ll have a day where I have to log in 4 or 5 times. Weird.

facebook_1632436247089_6846933880913944498_190168227397610(1).jpg
Dunstan

Greetings, alpaca afficiaonados.

Gumbygirl

.

cute-funny-alpacas-1-58c6484c5e930__605.jpg
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Parking at the hotel we’re staying: $65 per night, and not even valet.

Spothero garage 3 blocks away? $24 for 2.5 days.

Horatio Cornblower

For $170 I’ll walk a lot farther than 3 blocks.

I shudder to think what Buddy would do for $170.

yeah right

FUCK! San Diego is $45 a night and that’s insane since I never even move my car.

Anthony In TX

Mrs. In TX and I will soon be working in the same building, and as parking is really expensive in the Texas Medical Center, we will be carpooling. It may put a *teensy* strain on the ol’ marriage, as she is decidedly not a morning person.

Anyway, you made the right decision. 3 blocks is nothing when you’re saving $160.

Horatio Cornblower

Now this is sexy
comment image

Courtesy of our recently wed friend BFC, a delicious Imperial Stout with coconut and chocolate, as well as a kick of some sort of Mexican spice, (it’s cocaine isn’t it, you bastard), that makes for a great end of night beer.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Oddly, i thought that was too strong/intense (glad you like it though).
Have you tried the El jefe caliente yet?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

(i also don’t remember what else was in that shipment! Did I send a coconut IPA? Velvet strawberry milkshake?)

Horatio Cornblower

The El Jefe was good, a solid 4 on Untapped. You also sent a strawberry one that I split with several friends, (looking at Untapped I think I sampled about 13 different beers that night), and it was surprisingly good.

I kind of regretted sharing it.

The one I’m drinking now has coconut, which I’m usually not a fan of, but it’s not overwhelming, and really compliments the other flavoUrs.

Get a fixed address so I can return the favor!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

We have a place for the next six weeks, does that count?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Maybe even 7!

Horatio Cornblower

DM me the address. I’ll get you something nice. With my complEments.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

*complements

Horatio Cornblower

Fuck

Gumbygirl

That looks chewy.

Horatio Cornblower

Fair.

Very heavy, but not in a bad way.

Doktor Zymm

So, neither of the jackasses are anywhere near as awesome as Angela Merkel. She was 36 when she first won her Bundestag seat, aren’t there any middle aged people available for chancellor?

Horatio Cornblower

She’s finishing her 3rd term and is younger than our President, Speaker of the House, Senate Majority Leader, and Senate Minority Leader, and younger than the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th ranking House members. And that’s not even considering that doddering ass Feinstein.

We need term limits or some sort of age restriction, like you can’t start a term in the House or Senate if you’re going to turn 70 during it, and you can’t run for President past 70.

We need long term planning, and the current leadership just has absolutely no skin in that game.

Dunstan

The double standards are infuriating. I am a dull “neoliberal centrist” asshole, so AOC is to my left, but she is a serious, intelligent person who represents her district well, but she’s treated like some dumb young idiot not entitled to a voice in Dem leadership, whereas the GOP can put up assholes like MTG and Cawthorne and they’re the de facto leaders of that party.

Horatio Cornblower

AOC caved in on giving Israel an extra $1 billion for their Iron Dome defense system, (I mean, it was in our couch cushions, so why not give it away instead of getting Flint, MI, clean water), by voting ‘present’, ad then gave a half-assed explanation for it.

The problem with the Dems as I, (a straight, white, upper-middle-class male who’s has too many beers), see it, is that they continue to pay far too much respect to fossils like Pelosi, Hoyer, Schumer, Feinstein, etc., and not enough to young up-and-comers, like Pelosi herself, to show themselves as a desirable alternative to the GOP, at least to most voters.

We are long past the point where the Dems can get away with being the party of the middle. This country has no middle, and continuing to tailor your approach to a middle that no longer exists is a a recipe for disaster. “When they go low, we go high” sounds good, just like “turn the other cheek” sounds good. The result, however, is that you have two bruised cheeks and just got you ass knocked into the mud, again.

Reminds me of those cases I have where pedestrians get hit by are because they walked in front of them, then claim they had the right of way. Yeah, maybe you did, but tell me how it feels yelling “I have the moral high ground” while sailing through the air with two broken legs, a shattered pelvis, and about to add a fractured skull to you problems, while the GOP tears off down the road and eliminates voting rights for anyone with a tan. You useless pieces of shit.

I’ve been drinking. Does it show?

Dunstan

Eh, seems pretty coherent to me.

Dems need to learn that sometimes, people just want to know that you’re fighting for them and their values. Voters don’t pay a ton of attention to the details, or even to what gets accomplished.

That’s why I generally like AOC and Elizabeth Warren, who may be to my left, but are smart, policy-focused, and willing to get in the trenches and fight.

yeah right

That’s a really well thought out reply and succinct in it’s delivery.

Especially after drinking a cerveza colada.

I just liked Angela. She had a really nice seamstress.

Horatio Cornblower

I did not see this coming, but “sexy British Columbia Lions fans” gets you their cheerleaders, three girls who might be 12 posing with a player, and this guy:
comment image?quality=90&strip=all&w=400

Seriously, CFL, what the fuck, eh?

Dunstan

Hey, that’s how Pam Anderson got started.

I mean, not by blowing that guy’s trumpet, I meant by being a sexy BC Lions fan

Horatio Cornblower

God help me, I looked for “sexy Saskatchewan (Yes, I fucked up the spelling more than once), Rough Riders fans” and this is what came up:
comment image

If I have to live with it, you have to live with it. Do better, Saskatchewan.

Doktor Zymm

Impressive beer can placement to avoid nipplage.

Horatio Cornblower

comment image

WCS

Nothing you wouldn’t see in Green Bay, Minneapolis, Jacksonville, or Yinzburgh.

Dunstan

Look, if you want to summon Buddy Cole, you can be more subtle than “sexy Rough Riders”

Horatio Cornblower

Watching Padres play the Braves, so “sexy Atlanta Braves fans” brings us this:
comment image

Horatio Cornblower

In fairness to our Whale’s Vagina, (German edition), brethren, I also looked up “Sexy Hartford Whalers fans”, and other than Megan Fox in a Whalers T-shirt and some really sad looking dudes in bars, this is what we’re left with.
comment image

Anthony In TX

Kind of surprised her first name is John, but gender’s a fluid thing these days

Gumbygirl

Mermaid lipstick.

Horatio Cornblower

2/10, toenails don’t match the lips, would not.

Gumbygirl

Liar!

Doktor Zymm

To be fair he didn’t say exactly what it was he would not

Gumbygirl

True.

E_75sFmXEAAT2P8.jpeg
Horatio Cornblower

I wouldn’t fuck MTG with Bea Arthur’s dick.

/I think that’s Dean Martin’s line

Dunstan

Nice blue job.

Gumbygirl

Multiple national championships?

Gumbygirl

Rose Bowl.

Gumbygirl

Yayyy! I was determined to get this one!

Horatio Cornblower

Places Lou Holthhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh has coached?

Horatio Cornblower

I looked up “sexy San Diego Padres fans” and got this, which is a stunning indictment of San Diego.
comment image

Step your shit up, Padres.

SonOfSpam

Teams from those states have all won the Sun Bowl.

(New Mexico is really fucking me up)

Brocky

comment image

Horatio Cornblower

I think I saw this same picture on a milk carton a couple of years back.

Horatio Cornblower

Holy shit, if you aren’t watching CFL on ESPN2 right now you need to be. An indigenous woman is on their talking about how ‘Orange shirt day’ is the product of divine guidance , or something, and she sounds high as fuck.

She has become my spirit animal.

Horatio Cornblower

As she keeps talking it appears that this has something to do with the children who died in residential schools, so buy a shirt you assholes.

SonOfSpam

comment image

Brocky

All of the songs were on an episode of beavis and butthead where butthead mentions cream cheese?

Horatio Cornblower

States with D-1 champion football teams?

Not sure about the Shania Twain song, but I’m not going to listen to a Shania Twain song to find out.

Last edited 3 years ago by Horatio Cornblower
SonOfSpam

One of the lines in Route 66 references Gallup, New Mexico.

So, I’m guessing that ain’t it.

Horatio Cornblower

Don’t make me listen to Shania Twain.

Clipboard Jesus

I’ll try to build off of that. D1 champs more recently than the professional team.

Horatio Cornblower

Folks.

Doktor Zymm

I think the Instacart interview today went reasonably well, or at least nothing horrible went wrong. No idea how to actually evaluate myself on a lot of this stuff. I liked the people who interviewed me, and it seems like a good company, so I hope I get an offer. I have a check in call with the recruiter on Tuesday, so should know then unless there’s debate

SonOfSpam

Cool, and again, I want free Stater Bros delivery.

But also, I hope you get a better gig.

(and don’t forget my free delivery)

Doktor Zymm

Hell, if it works out well I will be in such a good mood I will fly down to SoCal and buy everyone drinks worth a couple delivery fees

Doktor Zymm

You call this sexy when there isn’t even a single alpaca?? Harrumph I say!

JimU

I’ve started to look for old football books on the internet archive. Right now I’m reading Fatso by Art Donovan.
https://archive.org/details/fatso00arth

scotchnaut

This one opened my eyes as to the nuances of football. Zimmerman was a gifted writer.comment image

Brocky

I picked up “they’re playing my game” by hank stram. It was pretty good. Unique insight into the AFL.

comment image

Last edited 3 years ago by Brocky
Gumbygirl

He was hilarious on Letterman!

Gumbygirl

Balls, these states all have an eponymous University.

Gumbygirl

That university has been a national champ? Had a Heisman winner?

Doktor Zymm

The university team is usually better than the closest corresponding nfl team?

Anthony In TX

Okay, I legitimately discovered this less than 5 minutes ago. Anthony likey.

https://youtu.be/LQtqH6ym7JI

Anthony In TX

Anyone watching JV football on ESPN2? It’s the surprisingly good Wake Forest currently handling the also surprisingly good Virginia.

Game Time Decision

Watching the CFL
Argos vs Alouettes

Brocky

Sometimes I wish that Brady Quinn had a longer nfl career so we could have had made more “Brady Quinn is gay jokes”

scotchnaut

“Brady Quinn, huh?” [boycotts DFO]

-Aaron Rodgers, feeling petulant

Anthony In TX

That feels like about 7 lifetimes ago.

Turns out the last time he was active in the NFL was only 7 years ago.

Brocky

I had to look that up. I just assumed he never played after the Broncos

Horatio Cornblower

He married Alicia Sacramone, a Olympic medalist in gymnastics.

If that’s gay then slap my ass and call me Buddy.

Brocky

comment image

Horatio Cornblower

For a gay guy, A-A-Ron is doing quite well with the
comment image

LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADIES!!!
/Xenu help me I so regret this.

Doktor Zymm

Every gal needs her fabulous gay pal tho

scotchnaut

Hey guys, The Die Hard Channel, wait, no, AMC is showing Die Hard right now.

Brocky

So last week I asked a question about basic photo editing. Making a a little arts and crafts project for myself.

Long story short i scrapped my original and remade it using ms paint. A before and after, anyone wants to give feedback cuz i have no experience with this stuff

The original:

comment image

But with the magic of ms paint, inverted colors, and learning to make images all the same size, I made this:

comment image

In hindsight, I was going for a minimalist approach

Last edited 3 years ago by Brocky
scotchnaut

Me: [knocks on door]

Balls: [opens door] “Can I help you?”

Me: “Uh?, I’m here for the Alpaca Gang Bang?”

SonOfSpam

comment image

Gumbygirl

We’re still alpacing? I tried to post this yestiddy. I have a stuffed alpaca!

20210923_185857.jpg
scotchnaut

Ah yeah, that’s the good stuff!

scotchnaut

Ah yeah, that’s the good stuff!

Brocky

Because it was so funny yesterday

comment image

Doktor Zymm

comment image
This better be the right place, otherwise I am going to look really silly walking around with this sexy alpaca

SonOfSpam

They’re all states that have D1 football teams?

They’re all states in which Balls has made sweet sweet whoopee?

They’re all states that were not in the original 13?

They’re all states that are not states of matter?

Brocky

They’re all locations without an afl team?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

The theme is states Shania Twain has toured

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I can not stay up late enough to watch the grand final. I was up til 2 last night for work anyway.

WCS

Chrissie Hynde is a national treasure, and Kid Rock is a galactic disgrace.

Anthony In TX

You are 100% correct.
Watching the Woodstock ’99 documentary and seeing Kid Rock onstage just filled me with revulsion.

SonOfSpam

While we were trying different things
And we were smoking funny things

This is a rhyming couplet from that Kid Rock song. Should be a capital crime.

scotchnaut

Reminds of that time when Jim Morrison, the God Poet, rhymed “Fire” with “fire” in Light My Fire.

SonOfSpam

At the very least, that song had an interesting keyboard riff. Plus none of The Doors voted for Trump.

scotchnaut

Unsurprisingly, their minds were closed to the idea.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eISAKoa_NL0&ab_channel=EvanNott

Warthog

But they presumably flew open.

Horatio Cornblower

Only because Morrison was dead.

Doktor Zymm

I would expect Jim Morrison to vote for Jill Stein, except his vote wouldn’t count because he mailed his ballot 2 weeks after the 2020 election and also it was the 2016 ballot

Anthony In TX

Ah, the “Kanye.”
No one has made a more lucrative career out of rhyming words with the same words than Kanye.

Gumbygirl

I enjoy Jim Morrison’s poetry. Gumby and I used to do dramatic readings from ‘The Lords and the New Church.” Mad fun when you’re high as hell!

Brick Meathook

For an extra twenty bucks Kid Rock will suck your dick.

Anthony In TX

What will it cost for him *not* to suck my dick?

SonOfSpam

Thirty

Anthony In TX

(opens wallet)

Horatio Cornblower

/Venmos Anthony $10