Is everybody enjoying the slow transition to Fall weather? I know I sure am. Heat and being a fat fuck don’t go together too well. But sitting around watching glorious footy? That’s a bingo.
How weird is this? Both Manchester teams in the “up with the roosters slot.” The marquee being Man City and Chelski (7:30, NBCSN). Pep is as back to the wall as he’s been in the Northwest, and “changing of the guard” talking points will be in the air. Should make for a fine morning watch. Or, you can watch along with irritable, sleep deprived Wakey on Peacock (Men Untied v. Aston Villa). Worth waking up for, no matter your fixture preference.
Only one broadcast offering in the 10:00 window, and it’s Leicester/Burnley (NBCSN). That’s pretty gross. You can see Everton’s further descent into Very Disappointing land, home to the ded-fookin-last Trashbirds. Or maybe Leeds/Hammers, if you want an actually entertaining match. YMMV.
Ignore the Spotlight Dance (Bees on Shite, 12:30, NBC), but please don’t forget Sunday’s tasty North London Derby (11:30, NBCSN). It’s good hatred, that one.
Notre Dame (+6.5) v. Wisconsin (Stade du Bearistocrats!, Noon, Fox)
I have no idea why Bucky Badger is favoUred at all. I will ML bet the Irish, and hope to lose my bet. Shall we call this the Overweight White Ethnics Derby?
Missouri (-1.5) at Boston College (Noon, ESPN)
When this here fixture was scheduled, bet nobody expected these to have one loss combined. The A-C-C is A-S-S has two remaining unbeatens heading into this last September weekend – Boston College and Wake Forest. So, uh…yeah. Mizzou would also be a good excuse to humblebrag about the resurgence of the playoff-bound #BFIB – but that just wouldn’t be The Right Way.
SMU (+9.5) at TCU (Noon, FS1)
Will there be Blood FOAR the Bloodeyes God? No? Bet the Ponies, especially ML.
Texas Tech (+9) at Texas (Noon, ABC)
Steerfuckers South will win this, perhaps convincingly. Guns Up! just ain’t very good, but that won’t stop the THEIR BACK!!!!1111 bandwagon from filling back up. Because sports journalists are lazy, you see.
Boise State (-9) at Utah State (Noon, CBS)
Noted both for being CBS national, and for the ridicuous local kickoff time. Get your naps in, Team Secular Big Love State!
Texas A&M (-4.5) at Arkansas (3:30, CBS)
Pig Sooey are 3-0! Don’t bet on them finishing the day 4-0, even if I still harboUr doubts about Jimbo’s bunch.
Clemson (-10) at NC State (3:30, ESPN)
SIGH. Hippo is already looking forward to his depression nap.
Iowa State (-7) at Baylor (3:30, Fox)
BayBay is another surprise unbeaten, and they actually have a rapist’spuncher’s chance of getting to October that way. Sleeper game of the day.
…AND HERE COME THE PILLZ
Wooooooooo!
Would be extra funny if he missed this extra point though
Christopher might be Dunn as the NC State kicker.
Lock up your pill bottles, Raleigh-Durham area!
/Whether he makes the kick or not
Hippo has mentioned ‘shame pizza’ many times. I ask myself, “Is there such a thing as ‘Shame Chinese Food’?” Let’s find out…
Only if it’s made with official “[Redacted]-seed oil of Nanking” cooking oil.
O AN U NOE DA PILLZ WILL FLOE AT DEH HIPPO HUHZ BULLLLLEEEEEEE DAT
Clamson-NCST football talking guy turns out to be RGIII, sounding not as dumb as you’d expect from either a broadcaster OR a former player. Maybe he’s smarter than we think and he got injured on purpose so he wouldn’t have to play for Dan Snyder longer than necessary.
He’s been a pleasant surprise.
NBC still showing golf like the L7’s that they are.
/my references are the most up to date, Daddy-o!
Is Ricky Person a descendent of Bird Person? I can not say.
Stolen from the Twitter:
Forecast for Trump rally in Georgia:
Temperatures in the 70s, IQs slightly lower.
Hippo Halftime Thoughts:
I wonder if I am fat enough to be “high risk” and qualify for the Pfizer #NuAIDS Booster?
Can you really be “high risk” if you never have any contact with the outside world?
shhhhhhh!!!!
Auburn is losing at home to Georgia St. Probably won’t last, but it’s fun for now.
I mean, not as fun as UConn beating powerhouse Wyoming.
Arkansas’ kicker is Cam Little, TAMU’s is Seth Small. WEIRD.
Wolven Sort with the Mayonegg of drives to end the half…
We’ve Made a Huge Mistake
LOVE the Drake!
Gumby joke incoming:
I couldn’t find my pizza cutter, so I used a Bryan Adams cd. It cuts like a knife.
How bad is this Sopranos pre-quel gonna be?
I’m cautiously optimistic.
I have been burned by the Breaking Bad post-script (flesh wounds) and then the Deadwood movie (third degree, bubbling flesh)
Sweet Mother of Piss, that was dumb, Wolven Sort…
Is how we roll, yo!
Hippo just threw a tusk at the television with that dropped TD.
I did squeal audibly
Mini-redemption for RG3, singing this on the air:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPGAXjwKOyk
Imagine the football talkin guy outrage if this Clemson QB doesn’t pan out, and all that effort learning to say his name correctly goes for naught.
DO SOMETHING CONGRESS
They’re too busy trying to “Imeach” Biden
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/lauren-boebert-joe-biden-impeach-typo_n_614e0a93e4b06beda46f1f61
Trump’s gonna be pissed that a woman forgot to add the P.
That’s the joke I was fumbling for
That’s amazing.
Gonna go mow the lawn and avoid the next three quarters. There’s no way this keeps up.
UConn is up 13-0.
My arm is numb and I smell burning toast.
These two things are surely related. Also I forgot about my toast.
You should lose the hair plugs…
UConn just did a double-reverse flea-flicker and is now up 10-0.
Is, is this what hope feels like?
Deffo a lost ML opportunity here.
NARRATOR: It wasn’t.
I don’t understand how roughing the passer negates an interception, but I’ll take it.
UConn get a first down courtesy of a Wyoming CB absolutely suplexing one of their WRs.
Seems to be working, let’s see if we can run that back.
I could never keep track which of the CBS announcers is the senile one but, good news for me, they both are now so I don’t have to worry about slandering.
Apparently, to be head coach at Pig Sooey, you have to weigh over 4 bills.
The entirety of the jorb interview is eating a whole, live razorback within 15 minutes.
Andy Reid’s application was turned down, as it was felt he was over-qualified.
There’s a guy on the TX A&M team named Bumper Pool.
When he was little we called him Baby.
Meanwhile his girlfriend calls him Snooker