Your “C’Mon, Gimme Some More of That Sweet Action!” NFL Open Thread

Man, that was good stuff! (is typing at 12:15 EST) Dimes throwing it around like crazy, that bananacakes last-second upset and that leg fracture. Ouch! Hopefully the second half of games can keep up the pace!

To The Games!

Jets/Broncos:

This is my Survivor pick-don’t let me down Hippo! Look for both Williams and Gordon to feast on passes out of the backfield. The Jets are perfect in that they’ve allowed 18 out of 18 passes to be caught. Denver’s gonna toss the Jets Saleh.

Fins/Raiders:

Miami doesn’t look nearly as good as their trajectory would have suggested. And now Tua is tossed on the IR scrapheap for a bit. The underwhelming Brissett might just be a slight improvement on the second year (not) wonder though.

Bucs/Rams:

Make way, make way, his majesty Brady has arrived. Please watch this game with the volume turned to -11. It’ll be interesting to watch Ramsey on Godwin out of the slot-anything the Rams can do to take away weapons will be helpful to their cause. I’d expect Fat Stafford to have 40+ pass attempts in this tilt.

Seahawks/Vikes:

Dalvin is ‘unlikely to play’ so bring out the handcuffs that you’ve hidden in your underwear drawer. As far as cornerbacks are concerned, Minny’s are more generous than every other unit and ranked lower than no one else’s. If all goes according to plan you’ll hear ‘chunk play’ often.

I’m done. And you’ve just started.

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Horatio Cornblower

Cris talking about how rare it is to come from behind with Aaron Rodgers and Olivia Munn is absolutely laughing herself to death right now.

Horatio Cornblower

It’s not the Buddy signal, but it is a fantastic beer.
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Last edited 3 years ago by Horatio Cornblower
Horatio Cornblower

Just tuning in from drinking too much, (and I am not done yet), while watching the Yankees sweep the Red Sox, (thanks in part to some truly horrific umpiring), and it’s just immediately Collinsworth “golly gee aw shucks the refs missed another call but it’s fitbaw, whaddya gone do?” and how the fuck does he have a job?

Horatio Cornblower

If parts of Cris Collinsworth start turning up in the mailboxes of various network executives, know that I loved you all and regret nothing.

Gatoraids

gruden going for the td to beat the spread

Don T

Really lovin@ this Mark Davis rebranding as a loungin’ emperor.

Gatoraids

yeah hes had the caesar bowl cut planned years in advance. wonder which pf changs in vegas he hits up

Gatoraids

miamis d got complementary drinks at the end of the 4th

hippofant

Was that a doink or just a bong?

litre_cola

Bong is always the answer.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Just about every US Air Force Base in this country has a street named Bong. Huh-huh, he said bong.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Bong

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ah, there’s no place like home.

And by “home” I mean arriving at home to find that the Raiders have blown a late lead against a backup quarterback who they should have blown out easily.

Last edited 3 years ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Horatio Cornblower

“Raiders? Backup QB? Blown? Am I getting meth out of this or are you just wasting my time?”

-Marinovich, T.

King Hippo

This is dumb by Miami.

yeah right

SKOL motherfuckers!

I’ll try not to say this many more times but we could easily be 3-0.

Still. That was nice.

WOOO!

King Hippo

finally started using Jefferson properly

yeah right

That’s crazy infuriating. He’s one of the best out there. Let him do the Griddy!

Dunstan

No problem. I totally trust Jacoby Brissett in this situation.

/eyes liquor cabinet furtively

King Hippo

3rd and 20, where is WCS??

King Hippo

Tom Brady RUNNING the ball, down three scores at 2:00. But NO, they aren’t just trying to serve his ego. What a clownshow.

clint greasewood

Never easy for the the Raiders.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Really should have stuck with Tanny Fanny instead of Teddy

King Hippo

Sorry. Was all game script, and he threw down to the 1 multiple times.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m not blaming you, but I’m not absolving you either

King Hippo

is ok, white liberal guilt is my default state of being

Gatoraids

overtime and loathing in las vegas

Viva La Tabula Raza

Something something drugs Barstow.

litre_cola

Eyeliner man goes to OT!.

King Hippo

DRAW DRAW DRAW!! WE WANT THE DRAW!!!!

King Hippo

SeaTruther OL issues cropping up today.

King Hippo

Today’s fixture was absolutely – outside of Javante’s fumble – Vic Fangio’s wettest dream.

King Hippo

I never advise FGs inside the 5…but RRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! should take the points.

King Hippo

Minnesota…should have gone for it.

King Hippo

This may be the last tme EVAR but WOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

King Hippo

Golden Plate Boi has 60 seconds, no timeouts, own 25. Trying to RUIN MY DAY

Doktor Zymm

Shocking as it is, I think the Jets might not be a very good football team

King Hippo

If anyone is Xmas shopping for Tyler Lockett, he’d like a new foot.

King Hippo

Scorigami illuminati – has there ever been a 25-25 Draw?

King Hippo

UPDATE – LOLfins are NO FUN

Doktor Zymm

Baltimore, just barely better than Detroit in questionable circumstances? Football holds up a mirror to life!

Senor Weaselo

How’s Detroit’s bus system? Out of all the things in Baltimore that might have somehow been the worst, and we walked around Peabody in more than a one block radius.

Dunstan

Well, I don’t know if you know this, but there was a very famous Bus from Detroit….

Doktor Zymm

Checking my fantasy team, it seems that both players who were listed as questionable are actually out and I only managed to pull one of em. Oh well, I can probably come up with some more interesting fantasies that don’t involve football

Doktor Zymm

That’s the good stuff

Doktor Zymm

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King Hippo

I like how didn’t kick the FG at 20-nil, left my clean sheet in place.

/and it WAS a solid pun

Senor Weaselo

Holy Helix, my football team sucks. I mean, more than expected.

Gumbygirl

Here’s my cake. Sprinkles on it like I’m seven!

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litre_cola

That is approved by Decilitre.

Mr. Ayo

Happy birthday princess!

Doktor Zymm

Spoon some ice cream on there and run around on a sugar high!

litre_cola

Stupid Nanobubbles is going to lose to tin foil bbq guy. I need a Gamblor sacrifice quick!

King Hippo

also, FUCKING RRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT, taking foot off the gas.

Senor Weaselo

Come on, more Stafford to Kupp (and not Higbee because he’s on my bench because I am a moron)!

King Hippo

Damn it, we is gonna have to share 1st position in the AFC West Table.

King Hippo

4th and 1? In-com-PLETE!!!