For me yesterday was an entertaining mix of interesting games-upsets, disappointments, shootouts, a bizarre finish-even some of the chalk results were worthy of a looky-loo. Let’s do that Monday Thing.
Fall Out:
-It was 4th and 3 on the opponents 39 yard line with 6:29 left in the 4th quarter and your team is losing 7-6. If you’re coach Judge what do you do? You punt it. YOU PUNT IT! I just don’t know where to start with this. First off, the folks that are saying that ‘he’s playing not to lose’ don’t seem to get it. His thinking isn’t that far advanced imo. He’s a dumbass, old school guy that thinks that his D is going to hold the Falcons down and he’s going to win the the field position battle in the end game. Which he was winning when he decided to punt. He was already in the position that he wanted to be in, given his antiquated thinking. Fuckballs! And he preaches discipline and execution constantly to his players and the media and this team saw more flags than the editor of “Triumph Of The Will”.
-The above take forces me to acknowledge that I have to eat some crow. I’ve called a certain guy Coach Booyah! because he’s a wee bit over the top as far as his exuberance goes. Yeah, the Ravens were looking past the Lions and let them back in the game but I’d argue that a typical Detroit team would just roll over and allow the inevitable to happen. There’s no doubt that Dan Campbell is getting his players psyched and motivated to play. And this team is even less talented than last year. (departures of Stafford and Golladay, among others)
-It’s all well and good to go out and draft an rb in order to cure your running game woes. It’s another thing altogether to think that that is all that needs to be done. Najee Harris was out there but The Ben threw 58(!) times yesterday. That’s actually what opponents want Pitt to do these days, right?
-The real story of that tilt is that Burrow and Chase and Co. get a mind-cleansing W. (kudos to those that grabbed Chase in fantasy-a real bargain because the overthinkers caused his ADP to drop so much) Steelers fans (and Redshirt) take for granted that Cincy will get curbstomped on the road and now, maybe, not so much. There be pieces falling into place near the Ohio River.
-Feel sorry for the Bears fans that got exactly what they asked for and now have to wallow in Matt Nagy being correct in that Fields needed more time getting up to speed. Oh, Nagy still sucks balls but he made the right call by holding him out. That’s gotta wound the ego a whole lot.
To The Game!
Eagles/Cowboys:
-Last week Dallas ran to victory but that might be a bit more difficult because so far Philly’s run D seems legit.
-This might be a test of Hurts’ passing skills because it’s fairly easy to air it out against that secondary. He’ll still put those footsies to good use though.
-Shoutout to rook Micah Parsons: In week 1 he played the lb spot and acquitted himself quite nicely. Then last week he switched to defensive end due to Lawrence and Gregory being out and did well there, including an instrumental sack late in the game.
-It’s a bit of older news but La’el Collins is suspended because he offered to bribe The Pee Inspector. For some reason this reminds me of the Dallas press discovering The White House (women and cocaine aplenty there) back in the ’90’s. When Nate Newton was asked for comment he said something along the lines of, “Why are we in trouble for this? We are acting responsibly, bringing our bitches over there instead of back home!” I’m a huge fan of tone-deaf responses to the media.
Do your best or worse down below.
Hurts just tried to murder Smith.
And now Goedert tries to murder his own drinks intern.
A true Philadelphia Story going on here.
Still pissed about the Heisman vote.
Elisha’s not getting his juice box tonight for being a bad boy!
Thursday Night Football
Eagle head coach needs more pens hanging from his visor
Eli just gave America the finger on ESPN
His mom made him apologize
Peyton dared him to do it. It’s one of those older brother/younger brother things.
Eli with the great insight in Philly 9 yr olds
and now for the INT off the hands of the Eagle receiver
This just keeps getting shittier and shittier.
I want some of whatever was in that small bottle. Instantly cured what ails him!
That Cox is faking it. Get off the field
How bad are the Iggles? The TE screen WORKED.
Smith had both hands on that ball. the should have had that.
They are going to blow this.
Football or American Crime Story: Impeachment?
Yes
I think your guys have gone from surmountable to insurmountable.
Yes, that was a very unMcCarthylike call on 4th and goal. I’m impressed.
Of course, the Eagles then didn’t cover anyone and it still took a scramble to get the TD.
We NEED to get a DFO tweet on the Manning broadcast.
All I can think of is Peyton Manning and Papa John quotes.
Maybe reference Peyton’s SNL commercial skit.
“Remember that time you bounced your balls on that physical therapist’s head? Or the time you made your wife take the fall for your HGH?”
Saying one’s hosting performance was better than the other might be the ticket to screentime
Why does Nick Saban look like he’s streaming from an dark and evil lair?
Are you trying to claim he’s not?
Spoken like someone who’s never been to Alabama.
I just got off work. What did I miss in the MNF game?
The Cowboys have gotten out to a surmountable lead.
Saban is Droopy the Dog commentary
Again, Dallas’s tackling is just wretched.
No defensive coordinator I’d rather see with a 20 point lead into the 3rd quarter than Dan Qui….ah, fuck.
So I’m reading about how Josh Gordon last played in the fan controls football league. It made me think, if a guy like Gordon but on the line — let’s just say Von Miller gets kicked out of the league tomorrow for beating a cop with a flag and this being antifa on 1/6 — he could absolutely wreck the league the way an offensive individual cannot. Sure Gordon is fast but he still isn’t going to play every down with risk of injury. But a D lineman who is just at another level would absolutely bring such a venture to relevance.
Well, this has certainly degenerated into a shit show.
-America
I was talking about the game, but you are absolutely correct.
I prefer to call it Scheißezeigen. Since the GOP is going Nazi, I figure its safe to steer into the curve. Also, it makes it sounds fancy.
I turned it to Jeopardy.
If you and 2 of your friends have killed all the bourbon in the house in the course of an afternoon it’s probably time to call AA, not Drizzly.
Sounds more like an inventory management issue to me.
Oh it’s definitely poor planning.
This season of Love Island includes a *lot* more homoeroticism.
Is it…girls? Because that would inspire a markedly different interest level.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMK6lzmSk2o
They’re giving Hurts a lot of shit for an interception that happened because his WR fell over.
Well, at least Eagle players got a new shirt this week.
“Trayvon took it to the house!” and somewhere in Florida, Robert Zimmerman’s trigger finger got all twitchy.
That guy can’t get hit in the head by a comically large anvil soon enough.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o13glRURgTE
The Last Duel looks good.
The book was better.
We’ve definitely hit insurmountable lead territory
SUDDEN CHANGE!
I’m waiting at the vet because my dogs dick got stuck out and I guess that’s a bad thing. They have him in the back right now.
I’m sorry, what?
Lemme translate; Blax is stuck in a lab.
I guess it’s a thing. It gets caught outside the foreskin or a long hair gets in there and keeps it from retracting. Now his is so swollen they can’t just lube him and side it back so they’re gonna soak it in sugar water for a couple hours then try again.
Else im off to the specialist!
“If your dog gets an erection that lasts longer than four hours, please try soaking his pecker in sugar water.”
Hope all goes well…
So did Def Leppard have 4 hour erections?
Emmitt says “I feel ya”
Red Rocket. They have some poor vet tech giving him a handy.
Ever wrestle your dog ’til you cum? – Attell
Goeddert owners have been Waiting For that.
Goeddert opponents are quite displeased.
Jerrah and Jimmie just got married. Crazy kids, I hope it works out!
What a way to show commitment 2 emancipating urself from gender slavery!
It didn’t work the first time because they each wanted to be the power top. Same thing is probably going to happen again, if either of them can even still get wood.
I haven’t watched the fastest three minutes for a while but Boomer sounds like he just ate thanksgiving dinner and is about to have a heart attack while talking about black lives matter
How Berman survived COVID so far is beyond me
He puts Valvoline on pancakes, a cure dating back to the Black Plague.
I do too. For different reasons. Usually on Friday nights.
Nobody is willing to get within six feet of him.
99% survival rate.
Which is why China must be punished.
Berman has sounded relatively sober these past few weeks. I give him a couple more before he falls off the wagon in spectacular fashion.
Had to look it up on how the wrote off Roseanne on The Connors. Accidental opiate overdose.
Yeah they’re poor midwesterners.
With Josh Gordon signing with the Chiefs, is it ok to make “peace pipe” jokes or nah?
Britt Reid already took care of the firewater.
Bears arent NSync right now they are not even Colour Me Badd
There it is.
Which of you is the shoulder fetishist? Must be enjoying Suzy’s outfit tonight. (As am I.)
Tis the Hippo
That’s Hippo territory.
She is a fashion and shoulder elegance standard bearer.
Matt Nagy says all fans in attendance are under consideration to be Bears QB
https://twitter.com/BuckyIsotope/status/1442666178111946753
what the fuck is McCarthy doing? He’s fucking dumb.
Mike McCarthy is as useful as tits on a bull.
Mike McCarthy has a variety of plays for 2nd and 31. Every one of them is a punt, but he has a variety of them
3rd and 24? NFL BLITZ!
Dallas is truly terrible at tackling.
Parsons is FAST. how can something so large move that fast. unreal
Kids at Penn State are uniformly good at running really fast.
No one knows why.
Towels add unnecessary weight
Rager runs backwards
That was a textbook run back, in that all he did was run backwards.
And the Dallas-born sideline judge has been outed.
That would explain it.
Big12 born and blind