Hello there fellow DFO’er. Hope you’re well today. And thanks for coming back to see last weeks comments of the week as decided by my brain. There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t.
Not much time for a proper write up today as I’ve been procrastinating about getting this done and now trying to do this between meetings and without being fully caffeinated. The #content has been flowing as we’ve already in mid-season form the second week of the season. It’s almost like we’ve done this a time or two before. Love it. And great to see a few way-ward souls show up. Welcome back. Keep commenting.
Oh and happy first day of fall. And I’m still upset with myself for missing the 21st of September joke last week.
As a reminder, this post will cover comments made up to and through the Saturday Night Open Thread. Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post. Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.
Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.
You know, if Bin Laden was a pretty blonde white girl, we would have found him before 2002….
ballsofsteelandfury
“Oh, but imagine if we hadn’t — I could have milked that shit for ratings for YEARS!” — Nancy Grace
Dunstan
If Nancy Grace goes missing I promise not to spend a minute looking for her.
Horatio Cornblower
Peyton: “Plaxico was hot in the red zone that day.”
Compared to that day in NY when his red zone was hot from the gunpowder.
herodotus450
The Peyto-Eli thing would be vastly more entertaining if they were both drinking too much. Peyton getting hammered on Cabernet, Eli getting constipated on chocolate milk.
Horatio Cornblower
September 20, 2021 9:20 pm
Gatoraids
L is for lacking competence
I is for incompetent
O is for off-competent
U is for uncompetent
N is for noncompetent
S is for sans-competent
Mr. Ayo
Horatio Cornblower
Eli’s smirk makes him look like Bobby Brady hiding in his adoptive sister’s hamper, just waiting for the shower curtain to open.
Horatio Cornblower
Even though you couldn’t get that short story published, you’re still getting some use out of “A Very Brady Orgy”.
scotchnaut
They wanted me to cut the part with Alice, Sam, and the salami, but a true artist adheres to his vision no matter the consequences.
Horatio Cornblower
Gronk is on with ELI and Peyton and I’m never watching football any other way ever again.
ballsofsteelandfury
I’m stunned that Gronk has a small dog.
Horatio Cornblower
I wonder who the NFL’s Crazy Cat People* are?
*probably just the placement kickers
King Hippo
Petronel
TheRevanchist
Well, if we’re talking about jobs…
I finally (finally finally) made it through the post-job-offer/pre-employment background check/drug screen/previous employer gauntlet and got the go-ahead from HR to start my new job. October 4 is the official start date. That was way too fucking nerve-wracking.
Anthony In TX
Beauty night at the stables.
litre_cola
Probably everyone has heard by now, but that guy who had the 16-game parlay ruined by the Lions was in fact allowed to cash out for $133k.
Dunstan
Brocky
But he…is using timeouts here. WHY? Hasn’t your alpaca been beat the fuck up enough?
King Hippo
I’m just waiting for some casual person to show up on Sunday and go “What’s with all the Alpaca posts?!”
Redshirt
“DFO turned into an alpaca porn site so gradually, I hardly noticed!”
Dunstan
“I specifically meant to come here for my Blair Witch jokes!”
Senor Weaselo
Don T
The Texans should just go full heel and put Watson in.
Horatio Cornblower
Watson coming in surely won’t rub fans the wrong way.
Sharkbait
I CALL THIS GAME A KNIFE THAT HAS BEEN SITTING IN A BUCKET OF SEA WATER FOR TWO MONTHS BECAUSE IT SEEMS TO BE A VERY DULL AFFAIR.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Also, spending time with it makes you feel like you need a tetanus booster
Doktor Zymm
The most important takeaway of watching the Panthers’ offense in action tonight is that Adam Gase is a fucking idiot.
The Maestro
I’m pretty sure the typical German would say, “Why ruin a perfectly good beer by adding something to it?”
ballsofsteelandfury
Also, “May I masturbate while watching you poop?”
SonOfSpam
“on me”
ballsofsteelandfury
You call this sexy {Friday] when there isn’t even a single alpaca?? Harrumph I say!
Doktor Zymm
Editor
September 24, 2021 8:08 pm
Me: [knocks on door]
Balls: [opens door] “Can I help you?”
Me: “Uh?, I’m here for the Alpaca Gang Bang?”
scotchnaut
SonOfSpam
Stolen from the Twitter:
Forecast for Trump rally in Georgia:
Temperatures in the 70s, IQs slightly lower.
SonOfSpam
Today is the day, friends.
After working nearly 10 years (off and on) in retail and 4-1/2 in leasing, today marks my last weekend to clock in. They officially close the sale on the property where I work October 1st and I start my new job October 4th.
My last Saturday having to get up, get dressed, and trudge in. I can’t tell y’all what a relief it is to finally have weekends with my family.
Anthony In TX
Onfield Announcer: “Eli Manning, your #10 is getting retired on this special day, do you have any words for the Giants fans that watched you through the years?”
Eli: [from inside the ceremonial bouncy castle at center field, mouth full of a PB&J] “NO. BUSY.”
Olivia: “Dammit, the castle was the only reason he agreed to come today!”
scotchnaut
We may be seeing the end of Big Ben.
Redshirt
I said the exact same thing when the Brexit results were released five years ago.
The Maestro
Ron Rivera looks like he misses his cancer.
King Hippo
Oh, that’s bad. I laffed and laffed!
Gumbygirl
I will be checking the games from the Maryland renaissance festival because I am a NEEEERD and also a sparkly dragon that eats knights and hordes gold ale.
Doktor Zymm
Here’s my cake. Sprinkles on it like I’m seven!
Gumbygirl
Welp, I’ve been permanently banned from the nfl subreddit.
Here’s what did it:
[Palmer] Chiefs announced Andy Reid was feeling ill, so he did not address media out of caution. I can confirm he left the stadium in an ambulance. Players didn’t know he wasn’t feeling well and were told he should be ok. Everything is pointing toward the Chiefs taking every precaution.
RTD: Well that’s certainly safer than letting his son drive him home.
—
I REGRET NOTHING!
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Tonight is Collinsworth at his absolute worst. Until MRSA/P*ts next week. I WILL NOT WATCH THAT ABORTION.
King Hippo
If that abortion was in week 6, Texas would black out the game.
Sharkbait
Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.
Stay busy and safe out there.
NOTE banner image from here
Aw, thanks for noting that I went down swinging.
Here it would have got a buncha +1’s
Great rundown…. Good Hustle!
Expect no ass slap however.
Said the Italian! This is really the XXIst Century.
well played sir…
To be clear: the ass slap can be an affectionate gesture between two consenting adults. It’s an eloquent gesture; in some cultures, an ass slap is the equivalent of saying “DAYM” and biting your lower lip.
These gentlemen agree.
In the right context, the ass slap = “Hi baby! I’ve missed you!”
The ass slap is like the Spanish Inquisition.
Nobody expects the ass slap!
Nobody expecting* ass slaps?
Worst
Dating pool
Ever
*affectionate, respectful ass slaps
I have found that if the Italian girls know you well enough to greet you with the hug and kisses on each cheek, you can get away with a playful swat on dat azz from time to time. The deeper the hug the better your chances on that. But, sadly, by and large the gratuitus butt slappin has faded over here. You still catch it in a b&w flick from time to time.
I never have any idea how or why things here go so sideways so quickly here, but it’s always an interesting read.
Just play along… Follow us all down the rabbit hole.