Your Early Posted Monday Night Football Open Thread

I’ve tossed this up a wee bit early because thar be some baseball playoffs going on as well as CFL ball for the (not exclusively tho) Canuckians who are on holiday.

Fallout:

-Well, what the else am I gonna talk about? The fookin’ G-men are done and I’m almost grateful. I can now shift from, “There’s A Chance!” mode into, “Let’s Look Closely At This Rebuild” mode. I lied-I’m not happy about that either.

-“Cowards! All Of Them!” Coaches that settle for the 45+ field goal attempts towards the end of games when it’s 4th and 5 or better. (Hippo breaks this down much better on a relevant game basis in his ‘Thoughts”) Look at the stupidity this generated in the Cincy/GB game. GUH!

-“Oh, You Thought I Was Done?” So I went onto some Giants sites and quickly was bogged down in the minutiae of “Is Kadarius Toney an undisciplined immature young fella or is he showing his fire/feisty nature?” argument. DO BETTER INTERNET! As for my opinion about him? When he gets the ball in his hands it looks like he’s on ice skates and defenders are wearing galoshes.

-The followup on the “Is Herbert matchup-proof?” question might be a resounding ‘YES!’ (I was heavily invested in this answer in 3(!) different leagues.) Their sked starting in week 13 is Giants, Chiefs, Texans and Broncos.

-I’d rather lay on the surgery table at Unit 13 than cheer for the Cowboys but damn, they have an entertaining team. Diggs has almost single-handedly solved the Cowboys problems in the secondary. I’d argue that his six INTs make him one of the most valuable offensive players on the team. Giving the ball back to the O puts great pressure on the opposing team, helps the O find some rhythm, gives them extra opportunities to wear down the opposing D and allows their D some extra rest. (you get a pick 6, you’re right back on the field)

To The Game!

Colts/Ravens:

-This would be a great time for rb Taylor to go bananas. You know, that would be great for his confidence, his self-esteem, his sense of self-worth and my chances of winning.

-Those dirty Ravens! The only ones that knew about this 100 yards rushing team record! They are after it tonight. All the living remaining members of the mid-70’s Steelers look around, thoughtless, just as always*.

*when I typed ‘the remaining members of the mid-70’s Steelers’ what I meant was Terry Bradshaw

Get to the tippy tapping.

5 3 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
440 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Mr. Ayo

With Gruden out, is Peterman’s career over as well?

SonOfSpam

NEVER

Brocky

Hippo, what’s the dfo fantasy situation?

I’ve just barely eeeked out a win after last night.

(Pretty significant win, cuz my opponent was undefeated and in first place, my one loss means I’ll be in first place now.)

How y’all fairing?

King Hippo

Ayo needs 7 MOAR from Tucker, I suppose if they get it back quickly enough and 4th and long in FG range….ugh

Mr. Ayo

Oh, for fucks sake.

King Hippo

If they make the two, FGs back in play. As is OT at 22-22

King Hippo

THANK FUCK ELBOW

Spur

<blockquote class=”twitter-tweet”><p lang=”en” dir=”ltr”>Months after inheriting the mantle of Superman, Jon Kent is taking another great leap. He's coming out as bisexual. <a href=”https://t.co/ynmGVgnfB0″>https://t.co/ynmGVgnfB0</a&gt; <a href=”https://t.co/15Yi7v7yNa”>pic.twitter.com/15Yi7v7yNa</a></p>&mdash; IGN (@IGN) <a href=”https://twitter.com/IGN/status/1447562887854186500?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw”>October 11, 2021</a></blockquote> <script async src=”https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js” charset=”utf-8″></script>

Anthony In TX

That dingbat Wendy whatsherface from Arizona already chimed in on this, with a healthy dose of ignorance, homophobia, and accidental approval (she said Superman loves “Louis Lane”).

Anthony In TX

Found it

Image-986095.jpg
SonOfSpam

Christ on a cracker.

Anthony In TX

Just a perfect encapsulation of the culture war (and stupidity thereof) being waged by the American right wing.

Horatio Cornblower

First Batman goes down on Catwoman, and now this.

SonOfSpam

THIS GUY JON KENT I CALL HIM…ON HIS MOBILE AND WISH HIM WELL AND LOOK I’VE CHANGED CAN I COACH AGAIN

Brocky

comment image

ballsofsteelandfury

And Horatio was giving me the win this morning…

HA!

Horatio Cornblower

To be fair, I do not think I could have anticipated 14 points on one play from scrimmage.

yeah right

Not even joking but we may need to put this motherfucker on suicide watch. He’s got nothing left and no future.

Gatoraids

He can go back to grinding tape of Birth of a Nation

King Hippo

THIS GUY, Nathan Bedford Forrest, I call him…

Dunstan

I’m sure Barstool Sports will hire him.

Gumbygirl

He’ll “write” his memoirs.

ballsofsteelandfury

Who? Gruden?
comment image

Horatio Cornblower

I helped a friend move two pieces of heavy furniture this afternoon, and he gave me two beers from Trillium, an outstanding brewery.

Motherfucker, I know you have 14 more of those, and there’s at least 14 more pieces of furniture I can pick up and put down somewhere else. Let’s go!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Coyuchi” sounds like it should have a definition on urbandictionary, doesn’t it? But apparently they make bedding.

Brocky

Lol there’s a chucky movie playing on syfy

LemonJello

The gravy will flow like wine in Indy if this keeps up.

comment image

Last edited 3 years ago by LemonJello
King Hippo

23-3 delayed NAWT 23-3 denied WOO!!!!!

King Hippo

Update – godfuckingdamnit

Fronkenshteen

holy fuck is Darius Leonard smart.

Brocky

Lol my dumbass was wondering why the down wasnt untimed, I assumed the ravens had scored, and where going for two

Gatoraids

Next step was to leak the emails of John Gruden hiring Richie Incognito to the team.

SonOfSpam

Rooting for a reversal just to fuck Irsay.

SonOfSpam

So I get halfway there. Like my wedding night all over again.

King Hippo

you got it and Tucker remains in play BOO

Mr. Ayo

Tucker is not longer in play.

I hate FF so much.

Spur

I really hope Gruden goes scorched earth and releases all his emails showing Snyder was cool with this.

Doktor Zymm

That would be delicious

ballsofsteelandfury

That would be great!

Horatio Cornblower

Oh please, oh please.

LemonJello

Potential Banancakes play?

King Hippo

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mr. Ayo

SOB!!!!

King Hippo

Still need Goggles McGee to make the extra point, to take FGs totally off the board

King Hippo

FOUR DOWN TERRITORY

Fronkenshteen

Who is publishing Gruden’s e-mails, and how did they get them? Not starting shit, just old, dopey, and don’t know how these things work. Was he hacked?

Gatoraids

The investigation into the redacteds found the emails

Horatio Cornblower

NY Times has the story. I think a Washington staffer is supposed to have released them, but that I’m not sure of.

Doktor Zymm

His password turned out to be Spider 2 Y Banana

SonOfSpam

Very funny and possibly true.

Brocky

My understanding is Paul allen isn’t under investigation for various shady practices, and he communicated disgusting opinions pretty regularly with Gruden

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Why have you got to drag me into this? Can’t I just rest in peace?”
comment image

LemonJello

**shrugs**

comment image

The Maestro

They were part of the WFT investigation, I believe. He sent them to Bruce Allen.

yeah right

He got caught up in the wash from a DA investigation on a former trainer with the Washington football team. Guessing it was shit between him and his brother who was their coach at the time.

Spur

So how many of those Gruden emails are Dan Synder CCed on?

LemonJello

Yes.

TheRevanchist

Gruden let go to only wind up in Washington next season? Such a good observation.

Doktor Zymm

Apparently a bunch of em were to Bruce Allen, and given the hostile workplace stuff I found that to be about the least surprising thing ever

Gatoraids

With their vocabulary can see why its taking them so long to find a new name

rockingdog

Update;

My friend wants to put $300 on the Red Sox winning the World Series.
What’s the best way to do this?

litre_cola

Go see Sully at the end of the bar.

Or use a gambling site that is legal in your area.

SonOfSpam

Tell him you’ll place the bet for him, pocket the $300 and buy beer.

Doktor Zymm

Catching bits of the game while delayed at ORD. What is happening, does Ballsitchmore actually suck?

Anthony In TX

I think they’re just having a bad night with bad matchups. Normal “any given Sunday” stuff.

Fronkenshteen

Indy came out hot, with a big play TD to Taylor and were marching for a second score when Wentz was sackfumbled. Game stabilized after that. Indy took the 2nd half kickoff and scored on a fanfuckingtastic catch and run by Pittman. Lamar! just had a nice run, and here we are.

Brocky

So after a super long day (and with no cell phone service) I’m finally home and settled in

Anything exciting happen? Like specifically during this broadcast?

herodotus450

We had a funeral for a coach. Whole big thing.

Anthony In TX

Burned his whole career on a big ol’ viking pyre.

Spur

Don’t Vikings wear skirts? or am I thinking of some other group?

Anthony In TX

Some of ’em probably do.
I’m sure a certain ex-head coach has some opinions on the matter.

Brocky

Like a the kind where they light the boat on fire? Like the kind they would have for a group of pirates or vikings, you know, the groups that would pillage villages? The kind that wear eye patches? That kind of funeral?

Anthony In TX

Nothing comes to mind.

Horatio Cornblower

I’m led to understand that the Raiders may have a job opening.

Mr. Ayo

That opening drive with Taylor was HIGH drama around these parts.

Horatio Cornblower

Kickers sitting by themselves after missing a gimme is just the saddest thing ever.

SonOfSpam

I actually get bummed when a college kid misses a big kick. Stupid empathy.

Anthony In TX

And it happens a LOT because college kickers by-and-large kind of suck.

Horatio Cornblower

This’ll cheer you up then. Texas A&M’s kicker’s wife watching him beat ‘Bama

https://twitter.com/cameron_worthy/status/1447362437481734148

There is no way she isn’t pregnant right now.

SonOfSpam

Pregnant without contact even.

Saw this video this morning and very much enjoyed it.

Brocky

I mean, I’m at the point that I assume anyone who is in college and still gets married that young has to be a shotgun wedding. And it is the south

Anthony In TX

There are a LOT of girls (yep, in the South, but also the Midwest) who are looking for a “ring by spring” and the joke is they’re in college to get their M-R-S degree. Usually it’s the more conservative, Bible-y types.
As someone who is VASTLY different from who he was at 21/22, I am SO thankful I waited until I was 34 to get married. No way I’d still be married now if I had done it that young.

Gumbygirl

Gumby and I were 22 when we got married. It will be 39 years next month. I realize we’re unusual, but it really depends on the people, at any age.

Anthony In TX

Yeah, you’re right. And my comment came off as judge-ier than I intended. My mistake.
I’ve seen any number of friends get married young who are now, in their late-30s/early-40s, very unhappily divorced.

Gumbygirl

I don’t think you’re judgy at all!

Anthony In TX

Well, thank you!
I’m definitely in the “you made the right decision to NAWT get married early” category. 8 year anniversary coming up on the 19th and I very happily married. Mrs. In TX is a gem.

Plus, she’s tall. That helps.

Horatio Cornblower

I got married at 25, my wife was 24. It’ll be 27 years soon.

Once you find a woman who lets you drink beer and talk about football, beer, and dick-jokes with bunch of invisible nerds on the internet, you lock that down and you do not look back.

Horatio Cornblower

I’m sure they’re a couple of Jesusy kids who wanted to have sex, so they got married.

Full credit for not doing that “soaking/bed jumping” thing that the Mormons are apparently into.

Doktor Zymm

When I was in Kyiv I actually saw the world’s smallest violin

rockingdog

Shit dicks
Rays tie it up 5-5 from some doubles and base hits.
We got a game!

Goooooo Baseball! ⚾️

King Hippo

Fucking hell, some quality wide receiver-ing there.

litre_cola

I missed a Pittman TD?

Spur

Urban Meyer finding out about Gruden being fired

“wow, what a pussy!” – Urban Meyer

*phone rings*

“Coach, its Trevor, you hear about Gruden?” – Trevor Lawrence

“no, what happened?” – Urban Meyer

SonOfSpam

“He’s fired? Damn, he must’ve had the whole fist up there.”

Mr. Ayo

Time to focus on the important things.

Rays come back is all the way on over the vile Red Sox and need to be cheered on.

And Tucker needs several long FGs.

Mr. Ayo

And a Chucky commercial?

What a wild night.

Anthony In TX

Wow, ESPN. Way to cue up the “Football is everyone” commercial. Just a coincidence, I’m sure.

SonOfSpam

Maybe it’s easier tonight (ok definitely), but the ESPN crew is infinitely better than the NBC crew at dealing with Gruden.

Beerguyrob

None of them ever cupped his balls behind the broadcast desk.

Brick Meathook

I don’t know much about this story except what I’ve read here.

A coach should be hired or fired on his won-loss record, not ten year old emails.

They hacked a private conversation. There’s free speech in this country, particularly between grown men who may or may not use slang terms in their private conversations.

Objecting to Gruden’s emails is fascism, pure and simple.

Please don’t give me any this “racism” shit. I grew up in Washington DC, among many African Americans and many gays and we all got along just fine.

And if a starting professional offensive lineman in the NFL gets his feelings hurt by being called a “faggot” then he doesn’t belong in the NFL.

It’s a rough world out there.

So get off your silly high horses. Wanna fight me? Show me your combat decorations first (and yeah we had gay guys who who were top-notch shipmates)

Last edited 3 years ago by Brick Meathook
Horatio Cornblower

Didn’t you cry about a guy telling you not to act like a cunt until he quit?

Maybe take the rest of the night off, Brick.

Gumbygirl

You’re wrong about this, Brick.

Brick Meathook

I’m not wrong, and usually vote Democrat.

Not everything people say is agreeable, but that was a private conversation.

The result was fascism, pure and simple, and I’m not wrong.

You may not like what he said, and I didn’t either, but can’t punish someone for private conversations.

Horatio Cornblower

The government can’t punish you for private conversations. Your employer can. The organization your employer is a member of can. The public can.

This isn’t hard to understand unless you are deliberately trying not to understand it.

I mean, Jesus fuck, this is such basic material.

Brick Meathook

Well then there’s a whole lot of people who need to be punished.

Gumbygirl

True dat!

Doktor Zymm

Private businesses, which NFL teams 100% are, can do almost whatever they want for almost any reason they want. They can absolutely punish an employee for a private conversation, and it isn’t a violation of free speech, because it isn’t the government doing it.

Brocky

You may not like what he said, and I didn’t either, but can’t punish someone for private conversations.

As someone with extensive experience with human resources, I can assure you that you’re wrong.

You wont get thrown in jail, but you will face consequences.

Brick Meathook

I’ve never cried about anything, not here or anywhere else.

I just hate fascism, and that exists on both both the left and right.

Horatio, I like you and I like your posts but go to the dance with me tonight.

Horatio Cornblower

I’m just going to go back to ignoring you, thanks, but this post and the one about trans people earlier needed a response.

SonOfSpam

No, fascism only exists on the right, unless words no longer have meaning.

This is an organization getting embarrassed by a prominent employee, making that employee’s continued employment completely untenable.

As a military guy, you oughta know what fascism is, and this ain’t it.

Gumbygirl

Not to mention all the people who work for the Raiders, working for a guy who thinks he’s better than them because he’s a straight ,white man. Fuck that, and fuck him.

SonOfSpam

Quality satire.

LemonJello

Here’s one of my combat decorations:

comment image

The Maestro

I was not aware that “facing consequences for your incredibly shitty actions” was fascism, but go off, I guess.

ballsofsteelandfury

It’s not about 10 year old emails. Apparently they span 7 years until 2018. That’s pretty recent and the language is consistent. This is apparently who he is and that’s not going to work in 2021.

ballsofsteelandfury

Though I wholeheartedly support him hating Goodell.

Horatio Cornblower

The Matron Saint doing Hippo a solid with that shoulder-baring outfit.

King Hippo

I deffo noticed. And appreciate.

Gatoraids

Snapchat the new official sponsor of the NFL

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Underrated comment!

Horatio Cornblower

Can’t imagine who’s going to host Fox News’s new sports highlight show “Listen Up, Fa****s, It’s Sports!”

LemonJello

“I could be your side kick, Coach!”
-R. Incognito

WCS

comment image

LemonJello

Gruden going to get picked up by OANN as their color (white) commentator?

Mr. Ayo

I think he’ll still be coaching.

comment image

Horatio Cornblower

Can’t wait for UConn football’s “BIG ANNOUNCEMENT” late this week.

JimU

This game I call Benadryl because it’s making me drowsy!

Horatio Cornblower

I haven’t looked forward to a Monday Night halftime show in, well, ever.

SonOfSpam

Dungy and Tirico are getting absolutely CLOWNED online right now, and deservedly so.

litre_cola

Twitter is extra spicy right now.

King Hippo

Rodrigo Blankenship must have been taking a shit?

SonOfSpam

Rodrigo Takinshit.

Mr. Ayo

Nailed It!

— B. Walsh

Beerguyrob

Somehow, I think Seamus is looking down from Heaven and hoping the next episode of “That’s My Raiders” involves teaching Richie Incognito all about search histories & email security.

Or, he’s looking up and hoping it’s about Raiders cheerleaders, and specifically about looking up their pompoms.

Horatio Cornblower

Given all the racist and homophobic language involved tWBS is probably wondering if Gruden has a sister in Australia.

The Maestro

MORE LIKE GONE GRUDEN, AMIRITE FOLKS

Anthony In TX

Banner

rockingdog

LoL

79DBBA7F-6859-4F46-95E6-2B3514761330.jpeg
Gumbygirl

Dr. Doctor, gimme the news

King Hippo

That’s an EASY touchdown? Motherfucker, I’m a Donks supporter. I have SEEN Brian Griese play quartered back.

WCS

comment image

Brocky

Fun fact, this episode aired BEFORE he went to his first pro bowl.

King Hippo

GODFUCKINGDAMNIT

Mr. Ayo

Woo!

litre_cola

It is tight like prom night between you too.

King Hippo

Man, you do NOT want to noe where Ayo’s promise ring ended up…