Your Monday Night Football Open Thread

Did you catch that amazing one-hander by Danny Dimes? Probably the 2nd-best ever by a Giant-the only one better was Jason Seahorn snagging a prime Angie Harmon. Nobody gonna top that.

Fallout:

-Finally, some positive news out of Chi Town! Coach Nagy got himself the #NuAids. If he’s not able to go next week the STC will give it a try. His name? That’s right, Peter Pumpkinhead.

-More blessings for lousy teams/players come in the form of an injury to Zach Wilson. Seriously, I think all these rookie/soph qb’s that are struggling need to have a sit for at least a week. Most will be fine, I just think the learning curve is too great for most of them. Doesn’t help that they have to deal with blitz packages up the ying yang while learning the basics.

-Ertz seems to like his new surroundings in Arizonny, saying something about ‘the grass is so much greener, though there is a distinct lack of batteries here’.

-The Bucs are going to cruise the rest of the way. Aside from the Bills, every other team on the sked has a losing record. Yay!

-Now here’s team that is going to have to earn it. Cincy has the Browns twice, the Raiders, the Chargers, and the Ravens again. Pitt is in there as well and although shitty, you can’t look past a divisional foe.

-Maybe Pitts is special? He’s the first rookie te to have back-to-back 100 yard games since the year of our Rozelle, 1970.

To The Game!

Saints/Seahawks:

-New Orleans’ wr corps has been found, umm, wanting. It says something that Payton is ruing the loss of special teamer/5th option Deonte Harris and looking forward to the return of the very average Tre’Quan Smith.

-I feel sorry for all those folks out there with Metcalf and Lockett. Those Geno-centric reasons why you’ve had to lower your expectations? They aren’t low enough.

-If you don’t follow Seattle but are aware that their D stinks, let me toss a number at you. Prior to last week they gave up 450+ yards four weeks in a row. Last week there were some signs of improvement though. They surrendered a mere 345 to the one-dimensional Steelers attack.

Let’s do this!

 

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Sharkbait

Haskap gin and tonic to start the second half

Fronkenshteen

Is grabbing DeShaun Watson on this week’s waivers instant rotten karma? I drafted so shittily at QB this year. Well, that and there are SO MANY FUCKING TEAMS in my league sporting not one, but two top-12 QBs. What’s the point?

LemonJello

You have to expect that once Badtouch Watson is on a real team, the Ginger Hammer will suspend him.

Fronkenshteen

So no chance he ever plays this year?

Horatio Cornblower

I can’t imagine he’s going to gel immediately with whatever team picks him up.

But you’re a football fan; we’re all going to hell rooting for these sociopaths anyway.

Fronkenshteen

I know, I know. But those fucking legs. Gonna snap up Trey Lance for the same reason. But if Watson goes to CAR, I’ll just stick with Tua. Shit. 7 TDS (I think) in two weeks coming off busted ribbage? I seen worse.

LemonJello

Honestly, I thought Maestro was messing with us and imagined this:

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King Hippo

BLEERGH

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Think DK can outscore Jameis, Kamara, and Callaway combined by 12 the rest of the way?

Fronkenshteen

When the fuck is Mike Thomas coming back? This fuckin offense is unwatchable.

King Hippo

He ain’t bringing Breesus back with him

LemonJello

Would it help if he brought Taysom and his magic undies back with him?

Brocky

This one is for maestro

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Okay I love that Eli is basically everything I imagine him to be. He’s giddy like a kid that was allowed to stay up too late.

King Hippo

and you know PeyPey did the why are you hitting yourself thing to him, endlessly

litre_cola

He does know his shit in coverages though. He is sharp there.

Fronkenshteen

Jets signed Flacco. We shall March on a road of bones.

King Hippo

But ah wanted to see that guy from “Chuck and Buck” start!!

The Maestro

Drake Batherson just scored a Hatty. I am fucking HAMMERED.

King Hippo

If there were a lockout and scabs played, would it be The Legion of Whom?

rockingdog

Found a funny;

Apple Orchard: Hey do you want apple juice?

Adults: No that is for kids

Apple Orchard: *crossing out ‘juice’* I meant cider

Adults: Oh yeah fuck me up

Fronkenshteen

AGAIN WITH KAMARA

Horatio Cornblower

“All You Need Is Love”; the song that the Beatles, to paraphrase ‘Bloom County’ wrote after they had already made a pile of money.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Sup

The Maestro
rockingdog

That’s ROCKING!!! 💯

Gumbygirl

You are living the dream Maestro! Gumby and I always say if we hit a huge lottery we’re building a rink just so we can have a zamboni.

Fronkenshteen

I follow you 9n Twitter and didn’t even know it’s you! THAT’S FACKIN AWESOME!!

litre_cola

Wait, who are you on twitter?

Fronkenshteen

Mr. K Dilkington
@DilkingtonMr

Last edited 3 years ago by Fronkenshteen
rockingdog

Where can I watch the manningcast of this MNF game?

Sharkbait

ESPN2

LemonJello

I would have demanded at least one game each season in a suite, all expenses covered.

Horatio Cornblower

I wouldn’t have given him the ball. Your wife make $50 million a year, fucking pay me.

King Hippo

I wonder what value ESPN thinks displaying the match commentators’ SIGNATURES on-screen adds to the broadcast.

rockingdog

LoL

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Brocky

This game is inconsequential to every matchup in my fantasy league.

This feels weird

King Hippo

Same. But a good kind of weird.

Brocky

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Sharkbait

Fast Times re-make?

Game Time Decision

You have a pool and this is the pic you take.

No thanks

Lol

LemonJello

Crablegs Winston looks shellshocked.

Brocky

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The Maestro

I AM LITERALLY JUST GETTING ON THE ZAMBONI AT A SENS GAME

I AM DRUNK BUT I AM NOT LYING

Sharkbait

Boots on the….ice?

litre_cola

*BooUts

Don T

Don’t text and resurface!

Sharkbait

Oshie has a hatty for Washington. I think the damage is done, and making the ice shitty wont help Ottawa.

Gatoraids

Mentioning Papa John will be a harder cut than the double bird

Gumbygirl

It’s fucking cable, and an alternate broadcast is available. I’m tired of these pearl clutching tittybabies. They shouldn’t apologize for anything.

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Mother Puncher

I counted two shits and a fuck from Marshawn

Sharkbait

ALL OF THE LYNCH F-BOMBS

Recovery Whiskey

And on that carry Penny doubled his season total

ballsofsteelandfury

Marshawn is awesome.

Fronkenshteen

Man, mother FUCK a three year old that still won’t go to fucking sleep.

LemonJello

Have you considered chloroform?

litre_cola

Ohhhh we have a 4 year old just like that!

Don T

Rum in the warm milk bottle. I’d say a shot per month of the kid bring in foster care. Lousy family service hacks don’t understand ethnic rearin’

King Hippo

Mojocoya fucked me, the motherfuckers

ballsofsteelandfury

Mojocoya means fuck hippos in Spanish

King Hippo

TOTES checks out!

Don T

You know what they say: mid-pyramid Bolivian fútbol is a mercurial mistress.

litre_cola

Ok that was funny by Peyton. Lynch did not see that question coming.

ballsofsteelandfury

They’re back!! Woooooo!

Recovery Whiskey

Peyton trollin

Recovery Whiskey

The Legion of Room is back

litre_cola

Ok, now a bitchin Kamaro td pls.

LemonJello

Todd Haley approves.

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Recovery Whiskey

Metcalf’s Get Off Me move was good

Oh he fell down? Still a good move.

Last edited 3 years ago by Recovery Whiskey
Doktor Zymm

I have very low expectations for this game

litre_cola
King Hippo

HOX!!

Downfield Matriculator

Not a Giants fan, but long enough in the tooth and blogosphere to know that Danny Dimes was the third best NYG catch . . . after Angie as noted and the Giant Snatch by Tyree. For those of you looking to recall or educate yourselves . . .

http://kissmesuzy.blogspot.com/2008/02/what-f-k-do-we-call-this-play.html?m=1

Recovery Whiskey

“Always a good atmosphere in this stadium”
— Eli, who was once part of a team that had about 15 false starts here. The “Paul Allen engineering the roof to amplify the noise” game

Don T

Saw the new Curb. Larry David is goddamn wonderful.

Don T

AND, worth noting: guy’s casting is hella inclusive

King Hippo

Bolivia Serie B, $40 on Mojocoya because FUCK that is a cool name.

Last edited 3 years ago by King Hippo
LemonJello

I believe it was mentioned yesterday, but bears repeating:

Fuck You WalMart for the pre-Halloween Christmas ad.

Sharkbait

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Recovery Whiskey

Local media standing in the rain talking up what a great game Jamal Adams is going to have.

Wishcasting at its best.

How are y’all tonight?

LemonJello

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litre_cola

Question, I had lunch with a friend of mine who had a chicken parm and cut the whole thing up before he had one bite. He is a serial killer right or do any of you cut up your whole steak/pork chop/ hobo arm completely before eating?

Parlayed NO -3.5, over 41.5 with a bitchin Kamara TD. 4.1 to 1.

LemonJello

Is he concerned about your skin care routine?

Recovery Whiskey

Old people trying not to choke on big bites they can’t chew anymore do it. Is your friend octogenerian?

litre_cola

36 years old. Seemed very odd to me so I wondered if I was the weirdo. I also figured his dish would get cold fast that way and we were in no rush.

Don T

He eats like a child. If he also were stingy, I’d ghost him until a parent’s funeral.

Senor Weaselo

And now an installment of Professor (okay, TA) Weaselo speaks to the yutes.

Can someone tell me to stop making Spinal Tap references? Namely “D minor, the saddest of all keys”? It might be a problem, and nobody except me gets it.

herodotus450

Or “Francis Scott, the least imaginative metaphor’er of all Keys.”

King Hippo

Or West, the gayest of all Keys.

LemonJello

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ballsofsteelandfury

Davante Adams is on the COVID list. So much for FF this week ..

King Hippo

I am pondering the Packers in my Loser pool now.

ballsofsteelandfury

I would bet the OVER in this game if Geno Smith wasn’t involved in it.

Senor Weaselo

That’s where they getcha, those bastards!