There’s almost too much going on, right? And like Dolly Parton’s eventual passing, the news is top-heavy.
-The Ballad of OBJ. He was held out of practice again and it looks as though there will be a parting of ways. If the Browns were willing to wait until the end of the season they could save 15 mil vs the cap but the former electrifying talent is nothing if not a distraction. All I know is that if I created problems for my 28 year-old son’s employer I’d ask someone to shoot me.
-Aaron Rodgers is smarter than you. And you. And you. He’s smarter than everyone. I’m now immunized to his bullshit.
-Dumb Wr, Chapter The Two: Kadarius Toney came to Henry Ruggs’ aid through the twitter and reminded us all that ‘everyone makes mistakes’, which, although a trite observation, is true. Thing is, the vast majority of us don’t do it while travelling at 156 miles per hour.
To The Game!
Jets/Colts:
-Welcome to The Mike White Experience. I’m just not sure what the fanbase is going to do if he has another above average game.
-One thing he will do is dump off to the Michael Carter’s of the world. He’s thrown 32 passes to rb’s in just two appearances. Alvin Kamara looks towards Jersey wistfully…
-Another rb on a roll is one Jonathan Taylor-he’s strung together five straight 100 yard games (from scrimmage) which only one other back has done this year.
-If the Colts play to form they win this given that they have lost to every +.500 team and have beaten every -.500 squadoo.
Give me your game face.
Who the hell is that failure pile?
Josh Johnson isn’t even real, the computer database just made him up.
Bobson Dugnutt is more believable.
QB Turing tests never really caught on
Is Jonathon Taylor any relation to that kid from Home Improvement?
No, but if he doesn’t hem those pants I dropped off soon he’s gonna end up like that Home Improvement kid.
/assumes that kid is dead
Hey, a whole five quarters of nice things. That’s not quite a record, but probably one for the last several years.
No Wentzdown fer yew Hippo!
I will be super happy when Charmslinger comes back, and I can fire Dakota Jeebus into the fantasy sun.
For a second some stat that said Jets 7 – Colts 67 flashed on the screen and I thought it was the score (I just turned the game on) and my only reaction was “huh, that happened more quickly than I expected.”
So glad my $8,000 tent is being used.
Just use your other hand, PUSSY!
Seriously. You play for the Jets. What’s the worst thing that could happen?
/something even worse than that happens
No! Not the Blue Tent of Death for Mike White!
Flaccotime?????
I’m hearing the Hannah Storm – Andrea Kremer audio of the game. Amazing. This is what I imagine being at a spa feels.
Well, the Habs stink and the Dolphins stink, so my sports fandom can go into hibernation for the winter until the Australian Open rolls around in January.
Time to drink!
Pascal should wear Avogadro’s Number.
Why hello futbol de Sudamericano. SURE, I can betcha!!
The Jets unis are kind of like if penguins were ugly instead of cute
As a puffin (whilst in formalwear, according to Senorita Weaselo), suck it, Jets unis!
Ohh…the fan(s)…they know a basket of puppies is about to be shot. While they swallow totchos and stupid pork tenderloin.
And yes totchos are exactly what they sound like.
With the fluorescent cheese?
Si!
Is stupid pork juicier than pork of average intelligence? Or that pig from Charlotte’s Web?
I’ve just never understood the obsession. It’s pounded flatter than paper and really just breading between bread.
What did Troy just call him ? Forest De Buckner? Close enough!
Fuck the fucking Jets. Jesus Christ. Just forfeit the fucking game if this is all the defense you can physically mount. Fuck this franchise. Fuck Woody Johnson. Fuck Donald Trump. Fuck America. Fuck football. Fuck everything.
.
If you didn’t read that in Buttheads voice there is something wrong with you.
I did. But there is still much wrong with Hippo.
Always.
I’m from Virginia. Back off. It’s been a bad week.
So who got their free taco? I did. It was not a Locos Taco. I’m okay with that, because a free regular taco is superior.
Okay, superior by Taco Bell standards, and now I don’t have to go back until the next stolen base gimmick.
Living in southeast Texas, I feel like I’m betraying my state by going to Taco Bell. I also prefer not to have diarrhea that’s 12% meat and 88% sawdust.
Oh crap! I missed it! I suppose I could still go but I’m cooking steak.
Shitty pizza has arrived!
And Hines just doubled his season-long fantasy score
LoL
Saw couple of articles today about how you should SIT him for this game
Huh. I smells the wacky tobaccy! Can’t say I disagree. Spark em for the soon to be deceased wentz.
That field looks like it’s moulting. I’d be high too.(I am high too.)
It is shite. If they actually practiced here, it would’ve been replaced by now.
Wentz was/isnt that bad. Eagles really dumb giving up so soon on him.
As I understand it, he was really unpopular in the Eagles’ locker room. I think it was as much a personality/team fit issue as it was a performance issue.
1) He’s pretty bad.
2) He’s REALLY stupid.
3) They needed out of his albatross contract.
Throw the ball to Pittman!!
That would be ROCKING!
LoL
[Beck voice] in the time of NFTs they stole my monkey
Sooooooyyyyyyyy no fungible
I’m a token baby, so why don’t you buy me
Colts: “Let’s wear head-to-toe blue so we look stupider than the Jets.”
Jets (eyeing black pants with green helmet and white jersey): “Oh, I don’t know about that…”
Do the jets always wear black face mask?
I think it’s normally white face mask until they’re wearing mono-color. But they won in black (tops) so ride wearing black into the ground!
For the next week or so. Good riddance, I hate the black unis.
The jests helmets are greener than the field, which I imagine looks suitably crappy on tv.
I like those shiny helmets!
That’s because you are high which makes things better.
That field is the only green thing most of those Indy fans have seen all month.
How do you fuck up a kickoff‽
I assume the Jets found a way?
Found a funny;
Hell yeah I’m into STEM
Snacks
Taking a break to eat a little something
Eating a bit of food in between meals
Making a delicious treat for myself
Mike White is either going 30/37 for 350 yards and 4 TDs or 12/27 for 56 yards and 3 INTs. No in between.
I came to watch some White Power Plays
[halftime show features the Sykes-Picot Agreement]
You didn’t get enough on election night earlier this week?
Afternoon Folks
Thirty touches for Mike Carter please. I’m not fucking kidding. Get. This kid. The ball.
Colts, Jets. I assume this is on the list of Hippo’s must attendance in the clubhouse?
Hell I’m boots on the ground and I don’t wanna be here.
Is the gravy flowing as far as the eye can see?
How full is your souvenir gravy bucket?
oh, we needs a full book report on this fixture
I work here. Field crew. Tis the blandest, soulless stadium I can imagine.
THIS GUY RIGHT HERE, I CALL HIM HERCULES MULLIGAN BECAUSE HE’S OUR MAN ON THE INSIDE!
/Hamilton joke
I read John Madden’s “Hey, Wait a Minute, I Wrote a Book” in a coupla days. A big chunk during rehearsal of my BFF’s band.
-⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ for the book
-🥺😩😢😭😭 for my personal life back then.
Firing up Carson Wentz as my QB1 tonight!
Colts should be Rocking!!!
Gooo! 🏈
I’ve got Get Carter! He will get me plenty of points before he dies on a beach. Is that the right movie?
*he would never be more disappointed.*
Hoo boy. As a friend,
/extends hand
https://i.postimg.cc/fbyFhkF5/CD83-D528-5278-4-B2-C-8-D47-B655-B992-D706.webp
I shall be disappoint if travelling Jest supporters don’t start a CHUCK! BUCK! SUCK! FUCK!! chant.
It must make Joe Buck so sad that he has to jack off to baseball highlights now instead of the live game.
Joe Buck loves him some baseball.
Didn’t know my diet needed this much Mark Sanchez. Why? He’s the bean sprouts of the NFL food pyramid.
Sources say Aaron Rodgers, after his covid debacle, has moved into second for the Jeopardy hosting gig, naturally still behind Mike Richards.
Coming to you live from the Lubricant Barn. I have zero interest in being here, aside from money dollars. The crowd goes mild.
Booster shot yesterday, then super busy day today, so I kinda want shitty pizza with way too much cheese. I think I’m gonna order shitty pizza with way too much cheese.
Shitty pizza with too much cheese is the only way to make shitty pizza delicious.
LAWD, ah dunno how we’s can all still be imaginary friends. ANY cheese is too much cheese.
I will stack this taek beside your Cold War Kids love.
This way we can order the appetizer sampler platter without arguing over who gets the cheese sticks!
Booster shot!
That’s Rocking!
Rootin’ for a 3-0 NY Jets win with lotta turnovers. Get the Clots D points + BYE PRIME TIME INDY
Shouldn’t this matchup be early Sunday morning from Wembley?
ah sez YAAAASSSSS
Little known fact: you can keep submitting Quotables entries through Thursday, but they’re going to lose to Spam no matter what
https://doorfliesopen.com/2021/11/02/2021-quotables-week-8-submissions/
Sometimes I love Twitter
https://twitter.com/BREEZEoBREEZE/status/1456108635612930057?t=JgKXp13PXJGs1TiQ-YKcDA&s=19
Looks like Plankton’s girlfriend to me.
What grade beef is that?
sub-prime
NYJ needs to *accidently* list Mike White as White Mike. They’d shut down the NFL Online Shop with custom #6 McArdle jerseys. Even non-The Wire fans would jump on board because people love this kind of thing.
But the NFL sucks at marketing so….
Of course, they’ll have plenty of Pats fans who are more than happy to buy a jersey with the name “White” on the back…