Your “Actually Getting To Choose The Method” Monday Evening Open Thread

NFL Nuggets:

• Alex Smith has decided to retire, “even though I’ve got plenty of snaps left in me.”
  • He finishes with a career record of 99-67-1, a passer rating of 86.9 and a TD-INT ratio of 199-109.
  • Honestly, it’s kind of nice that he gets to go out after the comeback.
    • And he led a third team to a division title – albeit a 7-9 division title – on one leg & a prayer.
  • There’s always the chance he Cade McCown’s half-way through the season if a division leader comes calling, but for now he’s done.

• New Seahawks signee Aldon Smith is wanted in Chalmette, LA for second-degree battery.
  • He apparently choked someone out at a coffee shop, and there’s video evidence.
    • It’s “second-degree” because the person passed out.
      • A conviction mandates a fine of up to $2,000 and/or up to eight years in prison.
  • The Seahawks are hoping this plays out like the Aaron Donald “assault”, where he was initially accused but then video showed him pulling guys off the dude getting beat.
    • • Dude also publicly apologized, but he really should have heeded the advice of site-friend DrawPlayDave

I made a handy flowchart if you happen to be unsure if Aaron Donald punched you pic.twitter.com/FkDyMdRvKE

— Dave Rappoccio (@DrawPlayDave) April 19, 2021

• In other “Crimebeat!” news, Deshaun Watson’s official response to the now-22 lawsuits against him can be boiled down to, “they’re all lying whores”.
  • In a document entitled, “Deshaun Watson’s Original Answer,” he (or his lawyers) make the assertion that,
    • “It was not until the plaintiffs saw an opportunity for a money grab that they changed their stories to convert therapy sessions they bragged about to friends and family to something much more nefarious.”
  • In the next paragraph, the document alleges that the characterizations of Watson’s conduct “range from being misleading, to fraudulent, to slanderous.”

• Ooh, make space on your phone – the NFL is teaming up with iHeart Networks to launch a podcast network.
  • The NFL currently produces seven podcasts featuring writers from the league’s website as well as NFL Network commentators.
    • “This really gets us into the podcasts space, where we can supercharge the visibility of our current ones and increase the distribution as well as take some of the content from our library to create new ones,” said Brent Lawton, the NFL’s vice president of business development.
  • Teams will be “encouraged” to develop podcasts for this new distribution network.

Finally, as predicted, leaked, and slightly feared by Redhirt, the Bengals have indeed changed their uniforms.

• I’m going to say… not bad.
  • They’ve cleaned up the shoulder stripes & streamlined the colour schemes.
    • They don’t look as much like a test pattern.
    • To paraphrase Norm Peterson, three shirts & two pants is six different looks, so they left one in the bag.
  • To be fair, I wasn’t going to be happy unless they threw back to the 1970s.
• For some reason they still have the team name on the front, like an Alzheimer’s patient wearing an ID badge in case they get lost.
  • Although given some players CTE, this might actually make sense.

Tonight’s sports:

• NHL:
  • Detroit vs Dallas – 7:30pm | NBCSN
  • San Jose vs Vegas – 10:00pm | NHLN
    • History is made tonight as Patrick Marleau passes Gordie Howe for number of regular season games played – 1768.
      • No Cups. Advantage Howe.
• NBA:
  • Golden State vs Philadelphia – 7:30pm | ESPN / Sportsnet1
  • Phoenix vs Milwaukee – 8:00pm | TSN
  • Utah vs LA Lakers – 10:00pm | ESPN / Sportsnet1
• MLB:
  • San Francisco at Philadelphia – 7:05pm | MLBN
  • St. Louis at Washington – 7:05pm | MLBN
• WWE:
  • Monday Night Raw – 8:00pm | USA / Sportsnet360
    • Somehow, they managed to kill all their post-Mania momentum in one week.

No hockey nationally in Canada (again) tonight because Rogers doesn’t have regional rights to the Leafs, Habs, Sens or Jets, and they couldn’t be bothered showing us the Marleau celebration. It’s almost like a duopoly is worse than a monopoly.